


Every Day Play

by Kryptinen (Tupsu), Tupsu



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe, Developing Relationship, F/M, M/M, Slice of Life, Video & Computer Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-12
Updated: 2013-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-19 11:46:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 123,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/200499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tupsu/pseuds/Kryptinen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tupsu/pseuds/Tupsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is made of a collection of little everyday moments. The stages of the greatest drama are the most mundane. The days pass, people bump into each other, and suddenly we're all playing the Game. This is a collection of little geeky everyday moments that build up into a messy love story. Slowly growing relationship, Roxas/Axel, AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All bets are off this year

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Welcome aboard. This is the result of Tupsu and Nepece working together and trying their hands at telling an AU story that is just as geeky as they are. The bestest (sic) beta in the world, O. Forgetfull.O (FF.net) has removed most of the typos and comma-harassing. Any left are there thanks to the authors making some final adjustments. Feel free to point them out and we'll make them disappear.
> 
> geek (gk) Slang
> 
> 1.
> 
> a. A person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy.
> 
> b. A person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept.
> 
> 2\. A carnival performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken.
> 
> tr.v. geeked, geek·ing, geeks
> 
> To excite emotionally: I'm geeked about that new video game.

When the rain finally decided to give up tormenting the city, there was little to no traffic on the quiet suburban streets and just few pedestrians trying to make their way through the melting snow and newly formed puddles. The worst thing about spring was that muddy mixture of snow and street water, at least in Axel's opinion.

Not that the ones responsible for the weather seemed to care. It had rained the whole day, pouring at midday, snowing for half an hour after that and now it seemed like the clouds were pretending that nobody saw them resting and collecting water for the next shower. Axel kept his striding quick and determined, he did not want to be outside when the second wave of rain hit.

Even when taking into consideration all of the small and larger mishaps, spilt coffee and dead alarm clocks, Axel was still doing fairly okay and feeling just fine. He was on his way home after an exam at the university, he'd pass, and had still enough time to change his clothes into something less yes-I-woke-up-too-late-like before getting to work. There was a pizza waiting for him in the freezer and the rest of evening should go like usually. After some hours working at the bar, chatting and flirting with customers, receiving some tips, he could enjoy the rest of his Wednesday without doing anything specific. He had time and he had money; the weekend was right around the corner, he liked his life.

Unfortunately, not everybody shared his high spirits; some kid was quickly scaling the fire escape to the roof of Axel's building. If the kid did jump – and that is what people usually do when they sit on the edge of a three storey building – Axel'd have to live in the 'suicide-building' until the local press got tired, and since the neighbourhood was pretty calm - idyllic as it could be, filled with two-child families - some stupid kid making a mess on the street would be big news. Not to mention the consequences of getting caught failing to save a life. He didn't want to be anywhere near when the kid tried to fly.

Instinctively Axel put his hand on his pocket and made sure that he had his keys where he could fish them out quickly. He was no hero, but he liked to make sure he didn't end up with more trouble than he deserved. He carefully scanned the area around him. Yes, he was the only one to see the kid. No, no other witnesses.

Axel sighed. He didn't want to deal with this today. Still, even he wasn't cold-hearted enough to just walk away.

He was no shrink, but how difficult could it be to pretend that he cared, get the kid down from the roof and call people to get him locked up?

"Er… Hey, kid! Would you mind moving away from there and maybe jump off from some other roof? I kind of like my home suicide-free," Axel said as loud as he dared, still not loudly enough to make the sound echo across the street.

The kid reacted to Axel's words, but not in the way Axel had anticipated. He did not move away from the edge, which would have been the ideal reaction, nor did he jump down straight away (which Axel didn't even bother placing on the scale of things-he-might-turn-to-his-advantage), instead he looked at Axel with what seemed to be the dumb stare saved for strangers yelling things from three floors below.

The boy too realised the problems the distance brought. "Okay, what is it?" he asked, yelled loud enough to attract attention. If somebody was home right now, they'd soon be looking out of the windows to see what was going on. That hypothetical someone would then see if Axel failed in his task of encouraging the kid to embrace life and all that crap. Yeah, this was getting way over his head and the best solution would be to get away, and do it quickly. Fuck any witnesses to his cowardice or lack of intelligence.

"I just wanted to mention that I would prefer if you went and offed yourself in your own bathtub, not in front of my door," Axel stated and slowly approached said door, hoping that he would somehow survive all the way to his own flat before the kid finally got tired of living.

It did seem that he still had some time, the kid didn't look like he was on the verge of suicide. Instead he seemed _amused_ and muttered something that Axel couldn't catch, and then decided to be chatty once more. "Look, I know what this looks like. But you can take your... concern someplace else," the boy simply said, leaning dangerously close to the edge to deliver his message.

"I happen to have the imagination to know what it will look like _after_ you jump and, oddly enough, I don't want to be here when that happens. Not fan of the gory stuff, you know?" Axel said without even trying sugar coating his words. "Besides, my concern is right here, right here at _my door._ It's the door that will suffer from your flying-attempts, not you. Since you'll be, you know, dead."

"I... Hey, listen up for a moment, will you?" the kid replied somewhat frustrated. "Falling down from here would hurt me a lot more than it would hurt your stupid door, thank you very much. But I'm not going to jump! I know how bad this looks, but I'm really not up here to jump down."

Axel listened, nodded a couple of times and moved a few steps closer to the door. The kid was crazy, completely loony, that was all that there was to the situation. There was no need to listen to a madman. Axel watched as the kid stared at him, then shook his head and then disappeared out of Axel's view. That was as far as Axel bothered to follow the actions of the idiot. Perhaps he'd performed a miracle, and stopped the delinquent from taking the plunge. On the other hand, maybe the kid had simply jumped off the other side of the roof, and that was just fine too. Either way he wasn't going to stick around to find out.

In one smooth motion, Axel turned, opened his door, and disappeared inside.

xXx

Roxas was starting to doubt his seemingly genius of a plan.

It was damn cold up here and the window showed no signs of opening up, even after the tenth time of trying to break in. The roof was slippery even though it was one of those flat, gravel-filled sandboxes. The snow made staying up there really uncomfortable and the chilling wind getting to his bones wasn't helping either. He hugged his knees to keep himself warm, but made no move to return back to the ground. He had climbed all the way up and giving up now was out of the question. If all of this had gone like he'd planned, he could've told this story and laughed with others – but now he had to sit up there and hope that somebody that could open the damn window would show up. The street had been quiet and the only one Roxas had seen since the redheaded idiot was some girl walking her dog.

He should've taken his gloves with him in the morning; his fingers were getting numb and were already tingling even though he kept rubbing his hands together. Taking the keys would've been a nice alternative too, but then again he'd missed this opportunity to admire the neighbourhood from an all new perspective if he'd checked his pockets. From high up here he could see the bus that he should've been in – He saw it disappear behind high buildings and then appear behind the mall and then be gone for good.

By the time any form of rescue arrived, he'd seen three buses leave him behind. Roxas saw Sora and Kairi approaching from far away, but neither of them noticed him even after approaching the door keys in hand. Anything could've happened outside their happy little _adorable_ bubble. Roxas tried waving, he tried glaring, and he came to the conclusion that only yelling could somehow affect them. "Sora, Kairi, up here!" Roxas cried and smiled at the expected bewildered expression as the couple looked up.

"Roxas? What are you doing on the roof?" Sora asked.

"Trying to get in, idiot," Roxas replied swallowing the last word. He was getting inpatient, but arguing wouldn't take him anywhere.

Sora simply stared. It looked like he wouldn't be understanding Roxas' reasons for being on the roof anytime soon, leaving the situation in a deadlock. Sora couldn't exactly be called an idiot, but Roxas could admit, this was a situation that could make anyone confused.

Roxas sighed. "I know, the door is down there," he said slowly, "And there are several good reasons why I'm up here. One, I don't have keys. Two, my phone died. Three, could you _please_ just let me in?" Roxas found himself struggling to be polite as gravel dug into his legs and the wind was getting stornger, however he knew his cousin wouldn't be letting this incident go anytime soon. If politeness got him out of a scolding, he was at least going to attempt it.

"He's trying to use the window to get in," Kairi explained and Sora looked like he understood it better immediately when she said it. Roxas flashed a thankful smile at her, knowing that she probably couldn't see it, and walked across the roof to wait behind their living room window.

"Just open the window!" Sora's voice could be heard loud and clear. "I didn't close it up this morning."

"It is locked! And did you hear me asking whether or not you locked the damn thing? Because I sure as hell didn't!" Roxas moved back to edge and snapped back with more bite than he intended.

"Well I didn't close it! You don't have to get all angry on me if you lock yourself out," Sora answered hurt evident in his voice.

"Look Sora, we don't have time for this. Could you just please hurry up and open the window?" Roxas tried to reconcile.

"You should be grateful, Roxas, we weren't meant to come back home until much later, " Sora bypassed the question without missing a beat.

"Oh for the love of..." Roxas was getting angrier and angrier. "Can't you just open the window and scold me later?"

"Stay up there then! You're lucky we hadn't booked the tickets beforehand. And that the film was sold out."

"It would have been a lousy film anyway," Kairi commented.

"That has nothing to do with anything, Kairi!" Roxas retorted. He turned back to Sora and pleaded: "Please, please let me in! I'm in a real hurry and I'm going to get decapitated if I don't show up in time."

"Roxas, take it easy," Kairi said, taking Sora's side, as usual. Roxas and Kairi got along just fine, but it was Sora she had a crush on.

"Taking it easy," Roxas replied, gritting his teeth hoping it didn't show all the way down. Yelling at Kairi would not do him any good, quite the opposite, considering Sora's protective streak. "Couldn't we just continue this argument someplace else, some other time? As much as I _love_ to spend my time freezing my ass off, I _really really_ need to go. Right now."

"Okay then. Let's not disturb the neighbours any more," Kairi stated in a voice that made Roxas sigh. He wouldn't get out of this without more yelling.

It took a while before Roxas saw the inappropriately happy face of Sora staring at him through the living room window. Cold and angry and not even near where he was supposed to be. Roxas jumped in immediately after Sora got the ventilation window open, uncaring for the mess he brought. The snow melted into a puddle on the floor before Kairi returned with some towels. Roxas didn't listen to Sora's nagging about the mess; he had no time, dashing around the house searching for his stuff. Looking at the clock made Roxas cry out as he picked the sneakers and stuffed them unceremonially into the bag.

"Okay, sorry. I need to go. Now," Roxas muttered quickly. "We can fight when I get back," he added and didn't stop for the response.

So what if he had been a bit desperate? Today just happened to be theday for the biggest struggle tournament of the year, And Roxas was apparently the only one capable enough to take down resident Struggle Champion Seifer. Well, at least according to Hayner. Taking him down in the tournament meant the world to Hayner, the very Hayner who had called Roxas multiple times through the day to remind him to be on time. Such an understatement to say he had been in a hurry. Well, had been. He had no chance of being on time now, the clock at the bus stop told him he was already thirty minutes too late and he was losing the race against time.

After the tediously long bus trip Roxas arrived to the hall, fully aware of the fact that he was too late and nothing could be done anymore. He was angry at himself for blowing everything up and scared of what his friends were going to say. He'd left school a little too late and therefore missed the bus he should've taken. It hadn't been the end of the world then, but arriving home and realising he didn't have his keys and Sora had already gone out – that was the apocalypse. He'd tried to overcome all of the misfortune, but his brilliant plan of getting to the tournament on time had backfired. The window had been locked safely and he'd been royally screwed.

Even after the tediously long bus ride, even after stopping at every single red light they could encounter on the way, he still couldn't think of how to explain it to his friends. Roxas took a tighter grip of his bag when he saw his friends standing near the entryway, looking like they were waiting for someone he hoped it wasn't him. Hayner was the first one to turn his head and see him.

"I guess I'm late?" Roxas muttered as a greeting and allowed his bag to drop down. He could hear some excited screams from behind the doors that lead to the hall, but the fact that Hayner was here and not there competing meant that it was over for him – and Roxas.

"Late," Hayner confirmed and nodded. He crossed his arms and flashed a weak smile. "You probably know who's going to win. Again."

"How did your matches go?" Roxas asked. He felt like idiot standing there asking questions that didn't really matter. Not now at least. They just reminded him that he should've been there to see how they went himself.

"Don't know. Okay. Didn't win against Seifer, but that's a given," Hayner told. Roxas was sure that was a mix of anger and disappointment in his voice.

"I'm really sorry, guys. You don't believe what happened on the way here," Roxas tried to sound as cheerful as he could, but it came out really fake. He didn't have Sora's ability to... to be cheerful when there was no reason.

"Nothing can be done today anyway," Hayner replied, ignoring Roxas' attempted explanation. "I just can't wait to see the smug smile on Seifer's face as he claims the belt. How many times has it been in a row now? Ten? Twenty?"

"Don't blame Roxas," Olette tapped Hayner's shoulder and gave him a stern look. "It's not like he came late on purpose. We don't even know if he could have won the tournament. Seifer has gotten awful lot better since the last time."

"I'm not blaming Roxas," Hayner said in a surprisingly harsh voice. Roxas hadn't realised how much winning Seifer had meant to his friend. Or rather, he didn't _want_ to remember how much, but

he had known. Things could really end ugly if he didn't play his cards right.

"Really, it's okay to blame me. I'm late, it's entirely my fault," Roxas said looking away.

"But Olette's right, you didn't do it on purpose," Pence shook his head before Hayner got his mouth open.

"Yeah, but I know it's not enough. Really, we've all been waiting this for months! And I just happen to forget my keys-" Roxas tried to explain, but Hayner didn't give him a chance.

"You forgot your keys? That's the only reason?" he asked, his voice strained with anger. Roxas flinched back and looked at the looked at the floor, not wanting to see the look of disappointment on his friend's face. Hayner kept going, "And here I thought you had something urgent like an aunt getting a stroke or something."

Olette scowled at Hayner and cut him out. "We were worried, Roxas. It's not like you to come so late." Hayner glared back, but Olette silenced him with only one look. "We know you weren't doing it on purpose." She didn't show it all too clearly, but Roxas knew that the tension between the boys was getting on her nerves and she just wished to end the whole ordeal before they ended up fighting over an argument which couldn't be won.

"Next year then. And you promise to be there," Hayner said. It was clear that he was still angry, but he stretched out his hand as a sign of peace. "We'll show Seifer that he ain't the only one in the town who can hit people with struggle-bat. Promise?"

"Yeah," Roxas grabbed the offered hand and smiled. "I'm really sorry. I promise I'll definitely be there next year to beat Seifer up."

"And that settles it," Pence smiled. He was a boy who seldom let things like this bother him. Or maybe he had gotten too used to this sort of quarrelling already. "I guess there is no need to wait here any longer. Ice cream, anyone?"

xXx

Axel sat by the bar, swirling the straws around the ice cubes and rested his chin on the palm of his hand. Life could be so much worse, he thought and smiled. It was the wrong day for this kind of drink, but when it was on the house, Axel wasn't going to say no.

"So, what's the occasion?" he lifted his eyes from the liquid and asked. After all, it was not every day he got free booze.

"Nothing really," woman behind the counter smiled at him. "Look around. This place is deserted enough already, keeping one happy customer here is the least I can do."

"Wait a minute, Tifa," Axel left the drink alone for a moment. "Last time I checked I got paid for being here. I hope you're not thinking of making Cloudy-boy a bartender too, he doesn't have any, you know, _talent_ for it."

"If you really want to, I can make you work for that drink too. Nobody has taken the trash out in a couple of hours," Tifa started the list things that needed to be done. There weren't _too_ many, but he didn't volunteer.

"Why does the atmosphere feel so dead today?" Cloud finally opened his mouth after staring silently at the table long enough to get Axel all creeped out. He'd been listening to Tifa's rambling for an hour maybe, sitting still all the while and commenting only with short, one to three word answers when Tifa insisted he'd say something. Besides Cloud's odd pattern of appearing out of nowhere and taking one chair from the paying, all Axel knew only that he was a friend of Tifa's.

"You know Seventh Heaven well enough, Cloud", Tifa answered, making a drink for herself. "It's Wednesday, you know there's never too many people in here. And the weather, it's been awful lately. And this place is just far enough from the nightlife that it's no wonder people don't wander in. But there's no need to worry, I'll make my living and keep this one alive too," she laughed and nodded towards Axel.

"That's good," Cloud stated, but Axel couldn't help but feel the answer lacked all interest in the world around.

Axel wasn't exactly known for his tactfulness, and without thinking he asked flatly, "Why are you even here? What's the point of getting out of bed, dragging yourself into a bar and then sitting quietly and staring into nothingness? You haven't ordered a single drink and you aren't one of the talking kind. Couldn't you be somewhere more… entertaining or something?"

"Axel!" Tifa snapped. "It's none of your business."

"Oh, right. It's none of my business why he sits here, speaks to nobody and sulks all night. I know, I know. I just work here." Axel continued to play with the straws, never lowering his gaze from the quiet man.

"Sorry, Tifa. Axel. I know I'm boring company," Cloud apologized, but shrugged at the same time to show his disinterest. "It's not like you _have to_ like me."

"Really, stop that, Cloud. We all like you. We really do. It'll just take some time to get used to Axel. He's as annoying as one can be, but as long as he does what I pay him for, I'm not kicking him out," Tifa hurried to comfort Cloud, smiled and leaned over the counter to poke him. It was every time she did that Axel couldn't help but to lower his gaze a bit and stare. The first time Tifa had caught him doing that, she had outright hit him.

"I've been here for six months, now. He won't get any more used to me," Axel muttered, rolling his eyes. "So now my job depends on Mister I-don't-need-you-to-like-me, here? Really makes me want to put more effort into my work."

Axel wasn't sure how long Tifa and Cloud had known each other, but but he could guess it was a good while. The length of time only made it more upsetting to watch her drool over him and him blank her without a care. Tifa was again completely absorbed with Clouds presence, ignoring the world around her, but Axel had already gotten used to this and didn't bother to complain about it. Tifa was nice company, but she had no time for him when Cloud was around. And Cloud was too disinterested in everything, not to mention too boring to hold Axel's attention for long. Most nights, Cloud just _was_ there.

"You don't have to defend me," Cloud muttered, making Tifa smile again, and that was where the conversation died. Tifa returned to clean the glasses she collected from her company and the bar stood quiet.

"I'm going home. There's no point in sitting here, and you have to agree."

Tifa looked at Axel and she was amused. "It's not your decision! I'm the boss," Tifa reminded him, but glanced at the clock and Axel knew the answer before Tifa looked back.

"I know you agree," Axel smiled. "The bar has been empty, aside for us that is, for an hour now. And I'll bet my salary that isn't going to change before the closing time."

She nodded. "Okay. We can go home, but don't go thinking this is going to happen again."

"No, never. Now why would I ever think that?" Axel responded sounding overly innocent. Tifa put down the glass she was cleaning and started to close up the bar. Cloud stayed near the counter waiting for her to finish up, but Axel just went straight for his jacket. He disappeared in the blackness of it and flashed a thankful grin at Tifa before stepping outside.

It was cold and awful outside, even though it was the month of April. The sunlight had already faded for the day and as Axel looked around, he saw only the dark houses with occasional spots of light. There was one random lone wanderer walking down the street, otherwise the whole block looked eerily quiet and empty.

"You're going to work overtime tomorrow for this," Tifa stated as she stepped away from the locked door.

"And why would that be?" Axel questioned. "It's not like I'm leaving all alone."

Tifa was just about to continue the argument when Cloud stopped in his steps with a jerk and fixed his eyes on the only person out on the streets beside the three of them. Cloud looking seemingly interested in something alone was enough to make both Tifa and Axel drop their argument to follow the line of his gaze.

"Roxas?" Cloud uttered first quietly, but then raising his voice. "Roxas, what are you doing down here at this time?" He sounded worried. Axel stared closer to get a better look on what was enough to make Cloud show an emotion. There was only one person Cloud could've been talking to and he was walking towards them, now some twenty steps away

Axel wasn't sure the boy had heard Cloud's words, but when Cloud took a few steps past Axel he could hear loud and clear that he had been wrong.

"Going home," the boy answered sounding annoyed and stopped right in front of Cloud, crossed his arms and waited.

"At this time, Roxas?" Cloud asked. "It's past two o'clock." The boy just rolled his eyes.

That was when Axel got a good look at him and got immediately more curious. A blond kid, one Axel could swear he had seen somewhere else… It hit him quickly. It was the boy from the roof. Why he knew Cloud, Axel wasn't sure he wanted to know. Cloud was eccentric, yes, but friends with jumpers?

"What were _you_ doing in a bar?" The boy, Roxas, asked Cloud avoiding the man's question with ease. "You shouldn't be drinking. Tifa, he shouldn't be drinking!"

Cloud cut in before Tifa could defend herself. "I never drink when I've taken the pills," he explained, equally annoyed. Axel had thought of interrupting and asking who the hell this kid was, but the whole conversation about pills made him keep his mouth shut.

"You didn't take your meds then? What if you get a seizure or something?" Roxas pointed out.

"You're not Mum, I only need one of those," Cloud replied quickly, hushing him up. "I take care of myself, you take care of yourself, clear?"

Axel wanted to continue listening silently, but the questions were piling up and couldn't stay quiet any longer. "This is your brother? What kind of medication did you take again? I mean, are all in your family like a little whacky up there-" Axel blurted out. Three heads turned to look at him, two giving him a similar scowl and the third decided to grin with sympathy.

"You," said Roxas, his voice dripping with... Axel decided that venom was too much of a cliché.

"Who?" asked Cloud.

Axel didn't want to end up the villain, and since his behaviour towards this kid before really didn't make him a hero, even though he had apparently saved his life, a distraction was needed. "Um... I know it's not my business to tell, but that one," Axel pointed at Roxas, "tried to jump down from a roof, my roof actually, today," He ignored the irate blond in favour of talking directly to Cloud.

Cloud turned to look at his brother this time. The boy sighed.

"I was _not_ trying to jump down. I was trying to get in. And I know it was a bad idea and it didn't work. Let's leave it there, thank you," Roxas gave his answer slowly, emphasising every word. "This guy here," he nodded now towards Axel, "is a big jerk who is in desperate need of some of the stuff you take. How do you know him?"

"Axel? I think he's a friend of Tifa's. Works here. Not important. What were you thinking, climbing up to a roof?" Cloud answered and glared at the man in question for a moment. Axel was not going to get Christmas cards from this guy anytime soon. "And don't go speaking about the meds when I have my friends around."

"Apparently Axel is not your friend and Tifa knows already. Besides, why were _you_ worried for _my_ safety? You can't be sure what might happen to your friends if you suddenly lose it. Just 'cause you left your pills home and then go get yourself wasted-" Roxas continued.

"Boys, it breaks my heart to break this touching brotherly reunion, but can't you talk this through somewhere less cold?" Tifa interrupted. She moved to Cloud's side, smiled at Roxas who eventually he broke his glaring contest with Cloud to smile back.. "It's not like he got himself killed up there, Cloud. You can't be angry at him for _too_ long," Tifa continued. Cloud nodded and gave up.

"Yeah, righty-o. I guess I'll be going now," Axel muttered. He didn't feel all that welcome there right at the moment. He tried to leave, but it seemed Cloud was intent on blocking his path.

"You live somewhere near Roxas, don't you? Tifa said you had your lodging somewhere near there."

Axel nodded slowly. He did not like the direction of this conversation. "Yeah, assuming the kid was trying to break into his own apartment. That would mean we live in the same building." He did not like where this was going, not at all.

"Okay then. You're better than nothing. Escort him home," Cloud decided. Roxas was about to protest, but Cloud cut him off. "I'm the big brother and that means I have the right to be worried about you. It's past two." The argument was cut short, there was nothing that could make Cloud change his mind. With surprisingly little protest Roxas muttered that he'd follow the orders, allowing Cloud and Tifa get on Cloud's motorbike and drive off into the night.

"Goodnight to you too," Axel muttered and took the first step on their way together back home.

xXx

Of all the things Cloud could've done this was, if not the worst, then in the top ten. Roxas was not a little kid and definitely not in the need of an escort, thankyouverymuch. Roxas was very well capable of… Who was he trying to convince anyway? Cloud would never believe him and there was no one else to rant to.

Only thing left to do was to ditch the idiot and then everything should be just fine. Roxas turned to the redhead. Cloud had called him Axel, so supposedly that was his name. "Look, Cloud is a moron and on drugs. And before you ask; no, not that kind. The legal ones. On top of that he thinks I'm still four and can't walk on the goddamned street by myself. So you can fuck off, I don't need you," Roxas talked fast and before Axel had any time to react he was taking steps twice as fast as normally down the street.

When after a few minutes the footsteps echoing behind him hadn't disappeared like he'd hoped, he turned back. Really, why wouldn't this guy just leave him alone?

"Weren't you listening to me? Go. Away."

Axel looked at him amused and not in a good way. "Look kid, there's only one way we can get home and I'm not waiting here in the cold so you can feel all grown up," he said. "There's only three blocks to go. You can stay on this side of the street and I'll go to the other one, is that enough of a distance?"

Roxas glared at the man. Axel was a friend of Cloud's, so he wasn't really a threat, but he wasn't someone Roxas wanted to follow him. It was just… annoying to walk next to someone you didn't know that well. There was nothing to talk about, and in the end the silence would only ring in his ears until he said anything just to make it stop. Yeah, that was the purpose of small talk, but talking about weather or something alike is pointless. And honestly, who wanted to even talk about the weather?

Axel's idea itself wasn't that bad, but Roxas was reluctant to admit it out loud. Axel seemed smug enough without any more fuel to the fire. Roxas himself didn't have any better ideas and it really was pretty darn cold outside, so he gave up,

"Fine. As long as I don't need to talk to you. And if anyone asks I don't have anything to do with you."

Total silence resumed and all was fine and well until Roxas had gotten his keys out and was ready to cross the last road. A familiar voice calling forced him to smile, and he turned his head to see Sora skipping down the street in his direction. Sora really was just the opposite of what Roxas needed right now. They hadn't even made up after the fight in the afternoon, and this late Roxas had hoped to get to bed without having to talk about any of it. Still, at least he'd distract him from the obnoxious redhead nearby.

"Hiya, Roxas!" Sora's cheerfulness could be heard and seen far away. "Have fun at Hayner's?"

Roxas was relieved that Sora seemed to have forgotten the incident on his own.

"Yeah, the usual. Needed to apologise for missing the tournament." Roxas answered. "Where are _you_ coming from and when did we decide on a sleepover?" he asked. Roxas didn't approve of unannounced sleepovers, especially on Wednesday. Sora's usual gang was following their energetic friend, although significantly less hyped. Kairi smiled apologetically. Riku beside her shrugged, but reached for Sora.

"Sora, I know how exited you are about seeing your cousin, roommate, whatever _who you see every single day_ , but there's no need to wake up every neighbour in a fifty foot radius," Riku said and tapped his friend's shoulder to calm him down. Roxas slashed a thankful smile.

Sora smiled remorsefully for a moment but then turned back to Roxas. "This time we saw the movie, Riku found out there was this night-time screening and he booked the tickets beforehand from the 'web. It was really good, there was this woman and she fell in love with the monster, who wasn't really a monster at all, 'cause…" Sora started to brief Roxas of the plot and Roxas could now guess from where they were coming. None explained why all three of them stood now at the front of Sora and Roxas' home door though.

"Why are you all here?" Roxas interrupted tartly.

"The theatre was the one behind the old church, you remember the one, Roxas?" Sora asked. Roxas nodded. "Buses don't travel too often this late and we thought it would be easiest if we'd head to our place afterwards." How Sora had managed to talk his friends into this, Roxas had no idea.

"You all have school tomorrow-"

"We went to pick everyone's stuff before the show," Sora said with pride. Roxas sighed, but before he had the time to forbid Sora from doing something like this ever again, he happened to look to see Kairi staring past his shoulder in a way that made him curious. As he was turning to look over his shoulder, she asked the dreaded question;

"Do you know that guy? He's been watching us for some time now…" She asked, hushed. Sora stopped smiling at Roxas and together with Riku turned to look at what was so interesting. Roxas was the only one not to stare at Axel when he answered, "Yeah. He's a friend of Cloud's. I think his name is Axel or something."

From the way Sora's eyes brightened and he hopped forward Roxas could guess Axel had started walking again. Why the hell had he stopped with Roxas like some kind of stalker?) It was like Cloud to have friends stupid enough to actually go through with his idiotic requests.

"We've never been able to to meet any of Cloud's friends!" Sora was beaming with happiness. "I'm Sora, these are Riku and Kairi. How do you know Cloud _?_ "

Roxas allowed himself to glance at Axel who gave a smirk for his audience. "As Roxas here so nicely said, I'm Axel." Axel wasn't as stupid as Roxas gave him credit for – he played it wise and kept his answers short. "Cloud sometimes comes to a bar where I work. Nothing more. I know less of him than you do."

Sora was about to launch another set of questions; probably something along the lines of 'You work in a _bar_?' and ' _Cloud_ in a bar?' but Roxas cut him off before he had time to open his mouth. "See Sora, he's not interesting at all. And I'm sure he's in a hurry." He glared at Axel to make his point clear. "Besides, it's cold and late and you have to get Riku a place to sleep." Roxas practically pushed Sora to get him moving, anything to stop Sora questioning Axel any further.

Roxas kept the door open for Riku, but Kairi stayed outside for a short moment. She turned to Axel and Roxas could hear her whisper, 'Sorry about Roxas, he's had a bad day,' before she gave Axel one last shy smile and then walked in past Roxas without a word to him.


	2. All bets are off this year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don't own, don't make money.
> 
> Lovely Lamatikah did the much needed betaing for this chapter.

Two kinds of days existed in Roxas' life. It was almost bizarre how clear the differences between the days when Sora was home and days when Sora wasn't home were. When Sora had been lured away by friends the apartment was eerily quiet since Roxas wasn't one to make too much noise while taking care of the chores. It was on those silent days that work got _done_ ; homework and housework and all alike were most likely taken care of before the evening had time to darken. The evening was when Roxas could forget about everything and close himself in the world of the Game, placing the headphones on and not move, not stir before Sora returned full of unnecessary enthusiasm.

Then there were _the_ days when Sora was home and the apartment was filled with laughter and just plain noise, stuff dropping from clumsy hands, screaming and giggling, people running pointlessly around. On those days _nothing_ got done, and that was a rule that one just didn't go breaking. Roxas never had managed to convince Sora and his happy little gang that he wouldn't die of loneliness if they weren't involving him in everything and since he never did have the heart to forbid them from coming either, at least once a week he was stuck with a night of card games, pancakes and too much sweets – three things that Sora never could get enough of and Roxas really didn't have anything against it. It was just that this wasn't anything he had a say in – the trio came when they pleased and all plans for a quiet night would have to be forgotten once their voices echoed in the hallway.

Riku and Kairi had been Sora's friends since elementary school, but Roxas' hope of them calming down had died long ago. Something of this energy was what attracted people to Sora and Roxas knew that there was no way escaping it all without escaping Sora and sharing the apartment kind of ruined that aspect of all plans he made in his head.

Roxas sat in his room staring at the monitor of his computer. He'd gotten the permission to try and work on the essay that was due in on Monday and one that he didn't plan on spending his weekend or Friday with, but every time he tried to put his hands on the keyboard, a new bang could be heard from the kitchen accompanied with laughter. Why Sora had decided to invite his friends over for the day when they'd just slept the night here, Roxas had no idea. They hadn't even bothered to clean away the new sleeping arrangements that yesterday night had left in the living room. Sora and Kairi had shared Sora's bed, but Roxas wasn't going to share his with Riku – that was a reason why their sofa was turned into a bed so often that they probably should get an extra mattress like Mum wanted.

Roxas was close to banging his head on the table. Essays comparing the many ways societies could fall just by economic disasters were hard enough without the extra challenge of a noisy environment and, as usual, the return date was shared with tons of other assignments and he'd have to try and get something out of the way before tackling the next one. Once more he tried to ignore the noise, and once more failed. He closed the file and left to check out what Sora was doing and, if possible, shut them up.

And who knew, maybe he could sneak himself a snack of whatever it was they were cooking.

Pots and pans and flour everywhere, add sugar and apples and three kids who have no idea what they're doing: this was the recipe that Sora, Kairi and Riku were clearly following with precision. The sight that welcomed Roxas into the kitchen was silencing. He could only wonder where all of the ingredients came; he knew that not even half of them belonged here. Stuff needed for the cooking were not collected neatly on one table, but spread everywhere, on the windowsill, on the dinner table and some fruits had found their way into the kitchen sink, bags containing Roxas didn't know what lay forgotten on the floor. Foodstuffs of every kind was present, stuff that Roxas couldn't even think about mixing in the same recipe. And the weirdest thing was, most of them were still in their packages, unopened, even though the trio had been cooking for some time now.

Speaking of the group of fiends, they were all too busy working and didn't even notice Roxas approaching. Somehow they had found matching aprons, luckily not frilly and pink, but green with orange polka-dots. Riku had had his hair plaited and Sora's looked like someone had given up after many tries. Each one of them was doing something on their own, but Kairi seemed to be in charge what with the boys glanced at her from time to time, seeking help.

Roxas stared at the trio for a moment before blurting out, "Do I even want to know what it is that you're trying to do?"

All of the three turned their heads in surprise. Roxas stared at his cousin who smiled back meekly. "We're making fruitcakes!" Sora told him with a proud smile, if even possible, wider than the usual one spread on his face.

Roxas stared at him for a long moment before tentatively pointing out the first thing that came to his mind. "A cake? I thought you'd be making food. You said you'd make the food tonight."

"We happened to find a really good looking recipe for fruitcakes," Sora said and looked really proud of himself. "We meant to do spaghetti, but- Besides, we didn't even have to go to the store. We already had all the ingredients needed somewhere. Some at Kairi's and some at Riku's. I didn't even know we had flour here! And you won't get hungry; there'll be enough cake for all of us and some extra even. We're doing at least double the amount the recipe says."

Roxas wanted to point out that he'd been taking care of having some extra flour always in the cupboard; Sora wanted pancakes very often even if he himself didn't seem to realise _how_ many times a week that meant. What Roxas had not realised was how difficult it would be for Sora to get a storage of ingredients for regular food. He'd thought that even Sora'd understand that he should shop for food mortals without an unnatural sweet tooth would eat. But Sora was Sora and it would be pointless to try and explain why cakes every night wasn't a dream come true.

Roxas looked around the room. If they really had just dragged everything they thought they'd need - Some of the random ingredients were explained. Roxas sighed and tried to think of any other place here he could run away to and finish his essay. The public libraries were already closed and going to a friend's place is never a good idea when trying to do homework. He was stuck here.

If you can't beat them, join them. Roxas gave up of the thought of finishing anything today. He'd just have to try and finish the essay during his lunch break or something. "Is there anything I can do?" he sighed and Kairi looked almost dumbstruck for a moment, but before she could get her brains back together, Riku grasped Roxas at his shirt collar.

"I'll need your help," he said and before Roxas noticed he too was wearing a matching apron. When he had questioned the need for one, the only answer had been, "There's no other kind, sorry," and there wasn't anything else to do but to let it slide.

"Do you _really_ need me for something?" Roxas asked rolling up his sleeves. "Isn't four people a little too many for baking one fruitcake?"

"You wanted to help," Riku said and handed him the recipe which Roxas skimmed thought it quickly.

"It's just like I just said. Okay, it may take two if one melts the butter and the other takes out flour, the fruits and all that stuff," Roxas looked up from the recipe. "What do you need me for?" Riku handed him the brush and a dustpan. "Oh you have _got_ to be _kidding_ ," Roxas muttered.

Riku hushed him up. "You need to live here, don't you? It's better to clean now, before the stains dry out." Roxas took the brush, and the stare he gave it implied it had done something to personally offend him. Riku just shook his head. "Besides, don't you want to give a chance for those two to look just adorable?" he pointed at the couple who they were clearly having the time of their life messing up the place, Sora even more so than Kairi.

Roxas only snorted. "I would've thought you'd be immune to the amount of cute Sora makes." On the other hand, it would seem that Roxas was the only one able to resist Sora's pleading puppy dog eyes. That might've something to do with him being tired of doing the dishes while Sora ran around the city with his friends.

"I'm getting extra cake for this, just so you know," Roxas sighed. He knew he'd brought this on himself and didn't bother complaining even though the following two hours he, accompanied with Riku, spent the whole time cleaning up after the two bakers. It was well after the sun had sunk below the horizon and the lights of the town had lit up the cheerful couple decided they'd had enough. Roxas, at that point, was fed up with cleaning and would probably hit something or someone the next time he saw flour on the floor.

They'd made two large cakes and it was clear to the eye which one had been the first one. The second almost looked like the ones Roxas had seen in the bakery last Christmas.

"Okay," Kairi said as she lined the cakes on the table. "We have to cut these so everybody gets a piece to take home."

"We could eat one right now," Sora suggested. "We'll split the other one and you can take the halves," he said, nodding at Kairi and Riku.

Kairi eyed the cake incredulously. "There's no way we'll eat the whole thing." It was a pretty big cake, no denying that.

"The rest stays here," Sora said and grinned. "After all, it was our kitchen we used." Roxas glanced at Sora and couldn't help a smile. There had been ulterior motives for coming there and it just sounded like Sora being Sora. So Sora could get more cake they'd had to come here to make sure Roxas didn't manage to write even half of his essay.

Only half of the cake got eaten, most of it by Sora, and when it got time to leave at eleven PM they shared out the untouched cake the way Sora had suggested.

xXx

Roxas fought a moment with his keys to get into the apartment because autumn meant rain and rain meant moisture in the air and that led to doors jamming in their frames. The trick was a kick to the lower left corner and yank, but out of sheer stupidity Roxas still spent a minute trying to force the door open without having to get sore toes. But as usual, it didn't work and he'd have to surrender, kick, and curse.

Two storeys up and two minutes to the bus stop; the flat was about as perfect as they could hope for and some stupid door – that probably were a problem even in the best of houses – wouldn't change the fact that he really hadn't too much to complain about. It was a bit cramped once in a while what with Sora and company visiting, but on afternoons like this when Sora wouldn't head home for at least two hours, Roxas had enough room and quiet to really enjoy it there. It was different than what Roxas had been used to in his home in the suburbs, but different wasn't always bad.

Roxas threw his bag onto the couch to wait for him and headed to the kitchen. It was hardly half past two in the afternoon, but out of the habit of eating his afternoon snack around this time every day Roxas was hungry already. He'd just make himself a sandwich and then look at all the homework, including the essay he'd not managed to finish yesterday – nor during the lunch break and the teacher still insisted on getting it in by Monday even though he'd asked very nicely if he could get a day or two extra time with it because she was nice like that. It was his fault for not kicking the trio out, he knew it, and the quicker he got to writing it the quicker it was done and forgotten.

The last thing Roxas needed was his phone starting to ring the moment he returned to the living room with a plate and some nice sandwiches. To top it all, the ringtone was the one reserved for Mum only, the ringtone that was there to warn you of maternal guidance that couldn't be avoided. It was never wise to ignore a call from Mum. Leaving his snack on the table he threw himself on the sofa.

"I could've been at school! " Roxas muttered. He didn't get much further before he was cut off.

"I know you finish every Friday at one o'clock exact. And there should still be time for a 'Hi, mum'," Mum said and sounded upset. "I told to look after your brother, Roxas!" she continued.

"What? Mum, what has happened! Is he hurt?" Roxas asked. The first shock wore off in matter of seconds and he realised it probably wasn't anything too dangerous. Mum seemed to be more disappointed than worried, and this wasn't the first time she had called. Besides, Roxas knew he would've found himself in the hospital if Cloud had really messed up. "What did he do this time?" Roxas asked.

It had been awhile since Mum had managed to freak him out like this. She liked to cause grey hairs by getting all worked up over something that really wasn't worth getting even concerned about, but she'd learned to take things a bit easier lately - which led to the thought that this time there might be something serious. Sure, it was not once or twice she had nearly given Dad a stroke when someone had missed his curfew and it really hadn't helped when Cloud had been diagnosed with a PTSD strong enough to need medication and therapy after the accident – she'd gotten on everybody's last nerve back then. Nevertheless, it had been years after the crash now and Cloud had gotten better and even if she still kept an eye on him, she had calmed down. Had they been lulled into a false sense of security?

"You were supposed to see that nothing like this ever happens again. The whole point of you moving there was that Cloud had someone to look after him," Mum continued without slowing down. Yeah, the move had _nothing_ to do with the one school I wanted to go to, growing up or getting more independent, Roxas thought bitterly, but didn't bother to interrupt and remind her of it. "He'll be fine, but-"

"But what?"

"He gave me a scare," Mum sighed. It seemed like she had run out of steam. "Look after him, Roxas."

"I'm trying," Roxas said. "He really isn't an easy one to look after."

Mum let a chuckle. "I understand, but keep trying," she said. "I was thinking that we need to come and check on you boys someday soon."

Roxas was not fooled by the light tone. One could never be sure when Mum's threats were actually supposed to be taken seriously and Roxas was not going to take the slightest chance. "Mum, there really is no need for that. I- _We_ can take care of this, really. You can just stay there and worry about us from a distance. We'll be fine. You can always call Cloud when he does something stupid again," Roxas reassured. "It's not worth the trouble of buying flight tickets and getting vacation for Dad. He's busy, isn't he? I mean it. Sora and I will be alright here; it's Cloud who you have to worry about and he's an adult right?"

"It sounds like you don't want us to come round," Mum said, but didn't sound offended. "Are you enjoying your independence?"

"Sure, but Mum-," Roxas said. "We've been living alone for ten months already."

"It's a short time."

No it wasn't. "It doesn't feel so new anymore."

"I don't know if we can make it this summer, but keep the apartment clean so I won't have to feel ashamed when we do get the time, darling," Mum said. "We'll try to see if there's time in the summer, but you know your father. Probably no sooner than midsummer."

"The place is always clean. And don't worry about not getting home, we'll really- "

"I know you can take care of yourselves, but it's been a long time since Christmas."

"Mum," Roxas tried with a pleading tone. She wouldn't tell him what it was that Cloud had messed up with and he didn't feel like arranging Mum's visit right now.

"Alright," Mum said, amused. "Say hello to Sora."

"Yeah yeah. Bye Mum."

She hung up with a slightly reserved goodbye and Roxas was free to call his brother. The usual beeping greeted Roxas, and he was ready to hear the answering machine begin to play the old message that Cloud probably should change someday, when someone lifted the phone.

"Cloud speaking."

Roxas grinned. It was time for the questioning to began. "Hi Cloud. It's me," he began innocently. "Is there anything you like to tell me?" It might've been a too straightforward approach with Cloud, he usually shut up immediately when somebody tried to privy his personal life, but Roxas didn't have the patience to wait, wandering around the subject like a vulture waiting the moment Cloud got tired. Cloud didn't like to speak about himself, even with his family. Especially with his family.

Roxas waited for an answer that took, as expected, longer than he'd really cared for. His question hadn't been the easiest, sure, but he wasn't willing to give Cloud the time to come up with excuses to get off the phone. Cloud was probably not willing to spill the beans voluntarily, but Roxas knew he could always threaten him with the prospect of Mum hearing about Cloud shutting up and leaving Roxas out of what he was meant to know about and she'd be more than happy to surprisingly appear behind Cloud's door and lodge there for few weeks.

Cloud didn't seem to understand what was best for him. "What do you want?" he sighed and asked, playing dumb.

Roxas scolded at the phone. "Stop it. Mum called. She sounded really pissed. So... What did you do?"

Cloud knew surely that Roxas wasn't going to give up, but he kept his mouth shut. "It's nothing, really," he stated firmly. A little too firmly for Roxas' liking.

"It's bound to be _something_ for Mum to call me and be all hysteric. Tell me or I call Mum back and ask her to come keep closer eye on you since you don't share anything with me." And that, Roxas thought, would not end up being so pretty. "Mum will be devastated to hear that you have once again kept things from me," he continued. Having a tight-knit family had its advantages. Managing to keep secrets was highly unusual, or so Mum wanted to think. It was nothing new for Cloud to keep secrets from her and try the same with Roxas. Emphasis on the word try. "It will absolutely break her heart to hear that you have kept something from me, your beloved little brother."

There was no sound from Cloud's end of the line. Then suddenly a sigh and quickly muttered words: "I got a stupid STD and she freaked out when she found out."

Roxas couldn't help but be surprised. Well, that wasn't exactly what he had been expecting.

Cloud wasn't finished though. "It's nothing bad and actually easily curable. Mum's just overreacting," he said and sounded mostly bored, it was obvious he had explained this countless of times to deaf ears already.

It took some time, but finally Roxas' mouth caught up with his brain. "Wait, wait, _wait_! Does that mean…" Roxas could not believe it, against all odds... " _You_ of all people have finally gotten a girlfriend?"

Cloud, who had the social skills of a dead fish. Okay, maybe not quite that. But it he wasn't exactly a regular social butterfly either.

There was barely audible "Girlfriend?" from the Cloud's end of the line, but Roxas was too eager to wait him get on with it.

"Who is it?" Roxas asked trying to find the answer on his own. Cloud wasn't as carefree as Mum feared; Roxas trusted Cloud's decision making skills and trusted that he wouldn't have careless one-night-stands even if he'd managed to get a disease. He wouldn't. No, this had to be something more important. Who... Only one possibility clicked perfectly together. "Is it Tifa? It's got to be Tifa!" Who else would have the patience to be around, let alone _date,_ Cloud.

Sadly, Cloud didn't share his views. "Tifa? Why would she be my girlfriend?" he said, and this time he sounded genuinely curious. Roxas covered his mouth when he realised what he had done. If Cloud hadn't seen all of Tifa's flirting, then Roxas had just said something really stupid. It wasn't the most unnoticeable flirting, quite the opposite, but this was Cloud and that made everything a bit... difficult to say the least.

Tifa would never talk to him again. Not that they spoke all that often. Roxas saw Tifa only when Cloud was hanging around with her, dropped by on a quick visit on his way to the bar Tifa with him or something. Tifa had been around for years and always been civil with Roxas, but this blurt... Hopefully Cloud wouldn't get too uneasy if he'd heard one of his friends liked him- That is, if he'd think it as something besides something stupid Roxas had come up with.

"Umm… No reason. You just spend so much time with her, I guess…" Roxas knew how stupid he sounded, but the hurried words were better than the silence. If that wasn't the lamest excuse in the history of lame excuses Roxas didn't know what was. He needed to take Clouds thoughts out of the matter and fast and all he could come up with was that attack is the best defence. "Who is it?" Roxas asked and some of his restlessness must've leaked to his speech because Cloud started to _reassure_ him. Roxas didn't know if he should laugh or cry.

He could almost see Cloud making calming hand gestures. "Roxas calm down. There is no girlfriend," he said.

Roxas was disappointed. He'd been so sure that Cloud wouldn't... It wasn't like Cloud at all. "So you got a disease from a one-night stand?" he asked without really waiting for the answer. Of course Cloud would deny it. Why had Cloud had been so irresponsible? He knew better. "You don't need to sleep around on top of things!"

"It wasn't _that_ either," Cloud said, but Roxas really wasn't going to swallow that. If there wasn't anything Cloud would admit to, what on earth did Cloud think Roxas would believe in?

Roxas didn't have his curiosity satisfied soon enough and he jumped the gun before Cloud could try to slither his way out of this mess. "What was it then?" All Cloud's beating around the bush had caused was wrong accusations and failed conclusions. If Cloud would just open up and share something, anything, Roxas would find it a lot easier to let go. But with all this 'not a girlfriend, not a one-night-stand' what was it?

Cloud didn't want to share anything, of course. "It's complicated and frankly, I don't want to talk about it," he said and sounded more distressed than Roxas had expected. How complicated could it be to tell even the tiniest fragment of the story? It wasn't like Roxas demanded to know where and when and why – just to hear that Cloud knew what he was doing would be nice. "Roxas, this doesn't concern you."

"Why not?" he asked. "Never helped when Mum said that." He wasn't prying all too deep into Cloud's world, this info was something he was entitled to, surely Cloud would realise it soon enough- "Is it someone I know?" But that wouldn't be so bad thing unless… "Is she taken?" Roxas sincerely hoped that wasn't the case. Cloud wasn't someone who'd just shrug his shoulders.

For Roxas' relief Cloud answered with a no that did sound sincere. "Roxas..." there was a pleading tone to Clouds voice. "I'm okay and I'm not going to die. This concerns no one you'd have to worry about. Leave it there."

There was no goodbye, but something in the way Cloud said it all got Roxas on his toes. He knew it was too late as he repeated the doomed line of, "Hey, don't you _dare_ hang-" because he heard a click and then nothing on the other end of the line.

Okay, Cloud was really keeping this secret to himself. How had Mum found out then? Cloud's sex life wasn't exactly common knowledge... Maybe, maybe _she_ had told their mother? Cloud didn't seem too eager to share his side of things so... Was she really not someone Roxas knew?

Roxas didn't call Mum even though really wanted to. It was a whole different thing to ask Cloud who the girl was than to call Mum and talk about these things with her. She'd make it her crusade to find out the identity of this mystery girl if Roxas asked about her name... If Mum hadn't already gotten the information. She would've told him if she'd known. Yeah, it was most likely she didn't know the name because then Roxas wouldn't have been the one to get scolded.

xXx

It was early in the afternoon, not too long past two, and Tifa was leaning to the counter with a satisfied smile on her lips. This was the Seventh Heaven at its best. Sunlight was shining in through the windows and painted the floor with gloving stripes, making the bar lose most of its usual duskiness. She looked around and complimented herself at the sight of tables shining in the afternoon light. The hard work was finally paying off in the form of a nice, clean place for a change.

Her moment of daydreaming was cut short by the sound of the front door opening, the bell signalling the entering of a customer. She hadn't expected anybody to wander in this early; she'd opened the door barely thirty minutes ago, but nevertheless wiped her hands clean and got ready to welcome the customer in. As soon as she turned around and she realized this was no stranger. "Cloud?" Tifa asked mildly surprised, but nonetheless happy. "You're early today."

"Sorry," Cloud apologised and took a look around. "You've cleaned the place up," he remarked and got a bright smile as a reward. Maybe she should've cleaned up a tad earlier, if just to see the look on Cloud's face. He looked genuinely impressed and that was a rare sight.

"Glad you noticed," Tifa said with a smile. "Something had to be done to make this place attract more customers. As much as I like your company it won't pay the bills." Tifa spoke as she found her way behind the counter. She pointed at the stool that usually belonged to Axel when he wasn't working. "Please, sit down."

It felt a little strange to see Cloud where Axel usually sat, but she had no obligation to reserve it to the redhead. There was no sign saying it belonged to someone, it just happened to be the seat where you could lean to the wall, keep close to the drinks, sometimes to the one who made them, and follow everyone in the room at the same time. Actually, it was no surprise that Axel had decided it belonged to him. "Do you want something to drink? " Tifa asked after Cloud had taken a seat in front of her.

Cloud shrugged. He slowly dragged his fingers on the clean wiped table leaving tracks on the shiny surface as he waited for Tifa to get him something. She wasn't too busy not to notice that there was something wrong when she reached for the juice carton.

"Cloud," Tifa said and place the glass down in front of her. "What is it?"

He looked up from the counter and glanced at the glass, but didn't pick it up. He then shook his head slightly and looked at his hands. Tifa sighed. Cloud flashed her a quick smile, but if he'd hoped it would be enough to earn him some room and time to clear his head, he had it wrong.

"Cloud," she said demanding. "I know when something is bugging you. And you owe me the reason why you're here at this hour. Please?"

Cloud closed his eyes and looked fed up with the world demanding answers from him. "The whole world seems to be against me. Can't I get a moment of peace?"

"You do know that I'll get worried if you leave me hanging like that? And telling me couldn't possibly hurt you, could it?" Tifa smiled and walked around the counter to sit down next to Cloud; she crossed her arms and waited for Cloud to open up. He only stared at his drink.

Cloud really didn't have any other option but to talk. Tifa would sit there, in silence if she had to, and wait till he gave in, and they both knew it. "So the news hasn't gotten to you yet?" Cloud finally asked and Tifa shook her head.

"What's happened?" she asked.

Cloud waited again before answering. "Don't worry. It's really nothing. The day before yesterday I went to the health centre to renew the prescription for my drugs. Nothing unusual about that. I asked for an extra blood test, just in case," Cloud paused and made sure she followed. "Turned out that I'd got some STD."

"STD?" she asked, demanding to get the full story.

"Yeah. But it's nothing incurable. One medicine more to the mix and I'll be good as new," Cloud reassured her, but that wasn't enough to keep Tifa satisfied.

"Cloud... Does this mean you've been sleeping around?" She wasn't angry, but this was Cloud and... He really shouldn't be this carefree.

Cloud quickly corrected her conclusions gone wrong though, "No, it's nothing like that. I'm neither stupid nor desperate. I don't have a death wish."

"Then what?"

"You do remember Aerith?"

"Sure?" Tifa didn't like where this was going.

"Seems like I got it from her," Cloud said.

Tifa was quiet for a moment, but against her better judgement she couldn't keep silent. "Okay," she said and rose from the chair and walked back behind the counter to throw Clouds glass in the dishwasher.

"Mum found out. She pays for my drugs and got the bill for the pills I got to treat the STD too. She ranted and raved over it _for ages,_ and then she thought _essential_ to bother Roxas with it, blamed him for not taking care of me and now he's pissed at me too."

Cloud took a breath, but hadn't finished yet. "Almost slipped out about me and Aerith to Roxas, but he had his own theory of _you_ and me and I got away," he said and sighed with what Tifa assumed to be relief and then looked up waiting for Tifa to laugh even a little.

She didn't laugh.

xXx

Axel was in no hurry today. He had not spent the Sunday night out drinking or playing the Game till early morning hours, which meant no hangover and no headache and a good night's sleep. He'd woken up in time, which was unusual enough on itself, but the combination was as rare as... He wasn't poet enough to come up with something clever.

Axel threw on his working uniform, in other words whatever he felt like wearing today, and gobbled down what was left of the box of cereal before getting out of the door.

The sun was shining high on the sky, but it wasn't too much past half two in the afternoon. Tifa usually was okay with him getting there sometime before two o'clock and he'd perfected the art of last minute. Today was even better. They'd made a deal, Axel had won the bet about cleaning the place up in the evening and was allowed to come to work today at three. Everything was perfect.

The spring sun was finally warming up the air. Little plants were growing everywhere where there last week had been snow.

The plants were one sign, but the most definite symptom of spring was people suddenly appearing outdoors. The joggers had crawled out of the gyms and were now running up and down the street, kids were eating ice cream or at least begging their parents for some. Rich people had dragged their motorbikes from the garages and Axel passed several, eyeing them enviously. He wasn't poor, he actually was pretty rich for someone of his age, but there was no way for him to buy a motorbike and not get curious glances at his pay check. And Axel didn't want authorities anywhere near his pay check.

The bike stood almost in the front of the Seventh Heaven, just around the corner, but what caught Axel eye wasn't how it was a brand new or even extra neat one, but the fact it was quite the opposite. Someone had scraped huge chunks of the paint off with something, probably a key, and the glossed surface was marred with… were those letters? Axel stared at the bike for a good moment trying to figure that mystery out.

The scribble was nearly illegible, but Axel wanted to believe it hid important message. Mindless destruction wasn't anything he supported. Since someone had really made an effort to write something on a surface that wasn't meant to be written on Axel knelt down next to the bike to have a closer look.

'Greef – Greetings from the great niu – ninja Suffle' it spelled. He couldn't be sure with the terrible handwriting, but as Axel stared at the name for a moment he was pretty sure it said 'Suffle'… A misspelling perhaps?

Axel shrugged. It wasn't his bike or his problem. He didn't get all that far, up to his feet to be exact, before encountering trouble.

"Cloud?" Axel asked surprised, but didn't get an answer. The man in question had just appeared around the corner running from the direction of the bar, but stopped now like he'd hit a wall and stared at Axel in what looked like a catatonic state. He stared at the bike, Axel realized as the initial startle wore off and he was brave enough to follow Cloud's stare past him and to his left.

Axel would've laughed out loud if it hadn't looked like Cloud was seriously going to pass out. "Cloud?" Axel repeated a little louder, but the only response came in form of Cloud blinking slowly, looking like he finally lost it for good.

Cloud's bike. Damn. Axel hadn't realised it immediately, but the bike was Cloud's. What Axel could remember from Cloud's wasn't much, but all matched the description of this bike and that couldn't be good for him. Cloud wouldn't possibly think Axel would want to damage his bike- He could. Very easily. Cloud had seen him kneeling next to it. Axel had said some stupid things lately. Shit. Axel knew he'd need to explain all this in a way that Cloud would get even now that he was really upset-

Cloud was faster. He turned to Axel and said " _You,_ " in a manner that would've put any soap opera star to shame. "What have _you_ done to my bike?"

Axel took a step backwards. He had never seen much emotion on Cloud's face and now _this_? Any lesser man would've been scared shitless by the death glare Cloud was now giving him. Even Axel, who was used to working in a bar and used to drunken death threats already, was taken aback.

He raised his hands and tried to think a way of assure Cloud of his innocence. "Look pal, I have absolutely nothing to do with this," Axel said and instinctively took a few extra steps back. His mind was racing a mile a minute to come up with something convincing. He found nothing. Cloud looked like he was about to murder Axel and that, that face wasn't the face of someone who would reason through his actions right now.

Axel had to think of somethingandfast, but it wasn't exactly his forte coming up with something that _wouldn't_ piss someone off. "The one who did this to your bike carved his name to it!" Axel yelped and pointed at the signature on the bike. Cloud, who clearly had been too angry to even realise there was something besides pointless vandalism, looked at the bike again.

Axel sighed in relief. He had gotten Cloud's attention away himself and that meant Cloud wouldn't attack him. At least not immediately. But there was a motto Axel had thought up which went something like 'never get involved with the druggies'. No matter how legal the drugs were. However, in this case, it might be even worse if Cloud _hadn't_ taken his drugs. From what his brother, What's-His-Face, said they were the only thing that kept him sane.

Well, as sane as Cloud could ever be.

There weren't many ways in which the situation could be worse.

Cloud walked to the bike and Axel backed away a few feet. Cloud didn't even glance at Axel but stared at the bike and a moment later it seemed like he had finally managed to read the text Mr. Suffle had left behind. Cloud turned to Axel who was readying himself for the flight. Instead of ripping Axel's throat open though, he asked, "Yuffie. Who's Yuffie?"

"See? See? I didn't…" It took Axel a moment to realise what exactly the question had been. "Wait, what? How would I know?"

Cloud stood up straight. He still seemed angrier than Axel had ever seen him (excluding the last five minutes) but this time the anger wasn't directed towards Axel. "Yuffie is a girl's name," the blond said, as if that would explain anything.

"Yuffie is a girl's name?" Axel repeated, awestruck of the sudden change of Cloud's mood. "What does that got to do with _anything?_ " First Cloud had been too shocked to speak, then too angry to listen. What was he now, too crazy to make sense? Did he lose his mind because of the fucking _bike_? Axel gestured for Cloud to go on. Maybe, just maybe there was an explanation for all this and Axel could go to work unharmed.

"'Greetings from the great ninja Yuffie'. That's what the…" Cloud glanced at the bike and sighed brokenly, "The _text_ on the bike. Yuffie is a girl's name."

Axel stared at the name. _Yuffie?_ Really?

"Since you obviously aren't a girl, this wasn't done by you." Cloud sounded defeated and Axel could not believe his luck. Cloud was actually capable of almost rational thinking? Axel had really managed to talk himself out of the mess? He wasn't going to end up on an alley, beaten to death? _For real?_

Cloud turned away, sat down by the bike and investigated its destroyed surface. He looked emotionally destroyed, but Axel knew that this was his one and only cue to exit, he didn't care if Cloud realised. He started running and happily left him nursing the broken bike all alone.

  



	3. I start the day in the usual way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don't own, don't make money.
> 
> A/N: An additional disclaimer for this chapter: Tifa's opinions are not ours. This chapter is on the shorter side - on our scale. Lamatikah is still our lovely beta.

Seventh Heaven was just behind the corner, hardly a ten-second-journey away from the bike. However, it didn't take Axel any longer than that to collect himself together and when he stepped inside the Seventh Heaven he was back to his confident, unshaken self. At least on the surface.

Tifa was cleaning the glasses almost like she usually did, but her enraged movement couldn't go unnoticed and Axel would've betted right there and then that this night would be revolving around the orbit called Cloud. There were no customers and the only noise came from the radio which was playing something that would end up as an annoying summer-hit by the end of July. Axel threw his jacket on the coat rack and snuck quickly to his usual place by the counter, opposite of Tifa.

Tifa didn't give Axel an opportunity to make her change the subject. "Cloud is screwing Aerith," she stated coldly right off the bat without taking her eyes off the glass in her hands.

"Hi?" Axel asked with eyebrows drawn up with puzzlement. Okay, yeah, he wasn't surprised that there was a connection between the unusually emotional Cloud and Tifa being this upset. Cloud had gotten a little too insane about the bike even for his own usual temperamental standards. "I guess this has something to do with Cloud rushing out of here somewhat... unstable?" Axel asked to make sure.

Tifa nodded. She took a new glass from the shelf, started to inspect its shiny surface and found it in need of scrubbing. She started to wipe it clean with extra force and Axel leaned instinctively a bit further away, but nowhere in the bar was far enough to escape Tifa's question, "Do you want to know what happened?"

Axel shook his head. "Nope, I don't want to," he said cheerfully. "But from past experience, I know there's no way to stop you from telling me... Please, by all means, do go on," he gave the permission. He wasn't interested in anything that had to do with Cloud. That man was a mental case Axel would gladly live without, but as long as his employer thought of Cloud as a catch listening to countless stories about Cloud was inevitable and Axel wasn't going to find a way to avoid him. Nor the man's love life for that matter.

"I got a bit angry. He came here to-" Tifa began explaining, but decided to start over. "He's gotten himself an STD." Axel wondered why the glass hadn't shattered already as Tifa took a moment to collect her thoughts. "Personally I don't find that surprising. Really. All the signs were there and if he'd told anybody we could have warned him. But if he's a complete idiot and thinks dating _Aerith_ is a good idea…" she spit the name with more venom anyone could handle with a straight face. Tifa did not find it as funny as Axel did. "What?" she retorted.

Axel saw how annoyed she really was and tried to calm himself down. He made sure there was not even a trace of a smile on his lips when he continued. "I understand your concern about Cloud. I really do. But why on earth are you telling me this? I mean, why should _I_ be interested? It's not like it's _me_ who wants to screw him."

Tifa gave him a scowl. "Axel, you could've just said no." She placed the glass she was cleaning onto the table and he was surprised, again, not to hear the sound of glass breaking. There was already a line of shiny, clean and unharmed glasses on the table. At least she wasn't taking her frustration on poor innocent beings – and apparently Axel wasn't one because Tifa really was going to make him suffer today.

"Hey, I'm just stating the facts here. Nothing to get upset about," Axel grimaced. "Don't shoot the messenger of reason." He should have remembered how mad Tifa was about Cloud and that there was no way of talking her out from her madness; she was fartoo long gone.

"Axel, I don't have the patience for your jokes today."

Axel nodded, rose to his feet. "Is there anything you'd like me to do? Any thrash to take to the backyard? Some glasses to be-" he realised his mistake only after he'd already gotten too far. Tifa didn't look amused at all.

"Isn't it enough for _one_ heartless jerk to ruin my day?" Tifa sighed and turned to place the glasses back onto their place in the cupboard. "I don't get why he chose Aerith," she mumbled and even though Axel knew better than to admit he'd heard the words, he had to try and cheer Tifa up.

"Why worry about this Aerith? I mean, if she gets sick, it's her own problem. You should just enjoy the feeling of revenge. It's not like we all have to be saints, you know," Axel tried and leaned to the counter. This would be a _long_ day at work; Tifa was not an easy person to work with when she was upset. Well, at least it was Friday. He just might be lucky enough to have more than one customer to entertain and keep him busy and away from Tifa tonight.

Tifa looked at him and shook her head mumbling something like 'you don't know the story' and dropped the cloth on the table behind her before turning around to face Axel again. "It's not like Aerith is getting sick, she is the one who gave it to Cloud," she said. "We all knew that she wasn't the saint she posed as."

"Cloud was screwing this Aerith girl and got the STD…" Axel snapped his fingers as he realised what was going on "Oh, _now_ I get it. You found out just now that she and he-"

"Yes! He came here to cry over it. How could he really be so senseless? Here he sits, telling _me_ how he gets yelled at by everyone. His mum, brother, the whole damn universe! He never tells me what he thinks, does or worries about before it's too late. I know that's how he is, but… He should have known to stay away from Aerith! How could I have warned him if he never even gives me a single hint of what he's doing?" Tifa asked and it was clear that there was no need for answers.

"Well, I think this is none of my business. Is there something for me to do?" Axel asked again and tried to get away without creating more problems. Or talking, if he could do something about that too.

"Nothing. I've cleaned up after yesterday already," Tifa shook her head. "Why can't he understand anything?" Tifa cried out and Axel couldn't help but laugh again. She took this far too seriously.

"It was his decision and you've got no one but yourself to blame. Give up already," Axel sighed. "It was completely one-sided all this time. And even I know Cloud well enough to see he wasn't getting your hints. All this drama of your classic example of unrequited love… I don't know if I can take it anymore," Axel dramatized his show by closing his eyes and hiding briefly behind his hand.

Tifa fixed her gaze at Axel and firmly stated, "You had better shut your mouth immediately or you're fired." Axel flinched. He knew he wasn't _that_ bad of an actor.

"Oh, funny. Tifa, really," Axel shook his head and laughed. "We both know that I'm not getting fired because of your crush on Mister-I-Don't-Care."

"That's it. You are not going to set a foot in this bar as long as I live and breathe. Get out!"

"So, what do you want me to do today?" Axel ignored the hand pointing at the door.

"Nothing for you. I've had enough. You are leaving. And there is _no_ reason for you to come back," Tifa said coldly and something gave Axel the feeling that she was serious. And that he was just about to lose his job.

He almost reached out to Tifa but decided against it at the last moment. "Okay, Tifa. Calm down. You can't kick me out for this. It would be unfair. I have nothing to do with your love life," Axel tried to negotiate his way out of this.

Tifa lowered the glass she had been holding to the counter, pointed at the door and nodded slowly. "Consider yourself fired from this moment on," she said calmly.

"Tifa, are you serious?" Axel couldn't believe this was really happening. She shook her head and he got the hint. "Right. You'd better pay my wage for the day. It's not like I didn't try to do my job," Axel declared and marched out. He took his coat on the way out and slammed the door shut behind him. He didn't have to look back to feel the scowl Tifa was still giving him through the door.

Axel walked away without a trace of a plan. To his luck, Cloud was already gone and he could stride down the street without anyone stopping him and asking stupid questions. _Stupid questions._ He couldn't believe what just had happened. "Oh, fuck you all," he muttered to the houses around him. "This is just lovely. Really charming." Something like this just could not happen. No, it didn't. You just don't get fired because of some meds-eating-crazy-person-who-your-boss-just-happens-to-have-a-crush-on!

What should he do now? He stopped before the only traffic light crossing on his way home. Did he really want to go home? Axel looked up to see the red man standing still, forbidding him to move. "Oh, fuck. Fuckfuck _fuck_ ," Axel cursed and turned sharp to his right and took a new direction towards the city. It was Friday and even if it was still early in the afternoon, there got to be a place where he could get drunk and forget the misery of suddenly being unemployed.

xXx

"Roxas, I'm home!" Sora appeared out of the hallway, trying to get rid of his bag and jumping up and down in excitement at the same time. The eagerness was hard to miss.

Roxas tilted his head reservedly. "You got something to tell me?" he asked without really caring for the answer.

"You'll never guess what happened to me and Riku this morning! We were going to school, only two of us because Kairi had her French lesson on the morning and we couldn't go together. But yeah, this really scary lady with a long black coat and green face was talking to some pretty girl on the street," Sora explained before stopping to breathe. Roxas just stared. Sora's words really didn't make too much sense.

"Green face?"

Sora frowned at Roxas. "No, silly. Of course her face wasn't really that shade of colour. It was obviously make-up. If you let me finish you'd understand!" Roxas shrugged and allowed him to go on. There was no need to tell Sora he had understood it already. Besides, it seemed that the rambling was going to take some time.

Sora kept talking while amplifying his message with his hands. "So anyway, the lady was talking to the girl, but suddenly she – I mean the lady, not the girl – turned to us and started staring at Riku!" Sora waved his hands around rapidly. He didn't really seem to be scared or disgusted by the idea of a woman with green make-up approaching his best friend. He was actually rather excited about it.

"Anyway, we were really busy; it was school day after all, but Riku wanted to stay and talk with her. He said, and I quote: 'She seems interesting. I want to see what she has to say.' So I left him there," Sora made quotation marks in the air, as if copying Riku's mannerism wasn't enough to tell that yes, it had been Riku who said that.

"It was the first time in a long time when I went to school alone. Well, I only had to walk the last two blocks and Kairi was waiting for me. She was really worried when Riku didn't show up, even more so after I told her what had happened. But I digress."

Roxas was about to retort with a "No, really?" but thought against it. Interrupting wouldn't help Sora finish his story now or in the future. He had the habit of... rambling.

The time Roxas took to realise that interrupting might not be the brightest of ideas, Sora had been continuing to explain his day in detail. Roxas only really picked up something about Kairi and without Riku and somehow they had gotten back to the topic on hand.

"In the end Riku came to school three hours late. But he told us where he had been," Sora took a deep breath. "Long story short; she was from Disney. You know, the biggest and the most famous modelling agency in the whole wide world," he didn't even give Roxas a change to tell him that Roxas did, in fact, know Disney. Everyone who didn't was either dead or living in a cave. The company was famous and everywhere. "Riku got hired!"

For Riku to work for them was a huge thing by itself, and the fact that he was asked to do so made it even bigger. Roxas realized he was never going to hear the end of this one. Riku was self-confident enough already, and Sora worshipped his friend. Sora and the rest of the trio were tightly knit and Sora would talk about them whenever they weren't together. Roxas shivered at the thought that Sora would make this modelling thing as big of a deal as starting to date Kairi had been. Once again, Kairi was a sweet girl; Roxas could understand what Sora saw in her. Riku, he had his charm, but Roxas wasn't going to like Sora babbling about him any more than he had cared for "Kairi-this, Kairi-that" non-stop for a month.

"It's a shame, now that he has work we won't meet so often anymore." Sora looked uncharacteristically sad. "I haven't talked too long about this, have I?"

Roxas smiled and Sora knew the answer without Roxas telling him, or so Roxas thought before he saw how Sora frowned at his reaction.

"Are you still jealous that he's better at struggle? He's not that good anymore. I've beat him once or twice," Sora said with a proud smile.

"I'm not _that_ shallow. I don't care about how good he-" Roxas said but his voice faded as he realised what had just been said. "You mean… You can kick Riku's ass? In struggle?"

Riku had always been the superior one when it came to struggle. Roxas was good, but Riku was always better and Riku definitely knew that and wasn't the most humble one about it. In other words, Roxas had spent most of his childhood losing to Riku and hearing endlessly about it, if not from Riku himself then from Sora who was quite struck by his friends' awesomeness.

But now… If Sora really was better than Riku, that meant Roxas could wipe floors with him. When they were little, Sora and Roxas had been almost equally good, but now Roxas practised regularly while Sora just played with Riku and Kairi without any real need to get better... Practice makes perfect and Roxas had had much more than Sora.

Roxas couldn't help to smile too. "That means I'm challenging you to a struggle match right now."

"Why?" Sora stared at Roxas; he didn't get the logic behind the statement.

Roxas smiled. "If you're better than Riku, I don't need to kick Riku's ass. Only yours and that won't be too difficult."

"You're so on. But be warned, I have a few tricks up in my sleeve. It won't be as easy as you think now."

xXx

Axel had had better mornings. He had experienced mornings with killer-headaches, mornings without memory of the last night, he knew what mornings with only one hour of sleep behind you meant; he knew what mornings without a moment of sleep and an early exam at the university meant. Compared to those mornings, yes, this one still managed to feel like the worst of the selection.

And he hadn't even been out drinking the night before.

Needless to say, he wasn't exceptionally fond of waking up before sunrise to the sound of an alarm screaming. He'd appreciated the late mornings that working in a bar had brought, really really appreciated. The pay had been good, atmosphere relaxed, he'd had no complaints.

Well, expect about the fact that he got kicked out. Because of Cloud.

It still didn't make sense and he had been fired two and a half weeks ago, for fuck's sake. Axel hadn't been the best of workers, but by no means the worst. Sure, there had always been the little fact that he had gotten the job by pulling some strings and it hadn't all been exactly legal and they all had known that someday there might come a time when all the fun would end. The contract they had hadn't included Cloud though. Nowhere on the contract had it read that if Cloud wanted to piss Tifa off, she had the permission to take it all on Axel.

How could he have known Tifa would snap like that? Axel had been there for over six whole months and never had it occurred to him that she might suddenly crack. She'd been just fine with his stupid jokes. She had made the lines clear the first day and he had _not_ stepped over them. He had never dared to ask if they were DDs or... No point to wonder about the truth. He would never get the opportunity to ask.

All because of Cloud.

Fuck.

Axel didn't enjoy rushing out without breakfast, wearing awful clothes meant only for a lame, badly paid work, but he didn't have any other choices. He _had_ tried to compensate the awfulness of the clothes by putting some extra effort in his hair, carefully straightening it into the spikes he was known for. He was pleased enough with the outcome, and had grinned at the mirror for longer than actually needed, but even that small moment of triumph hadn't made the morning any better.

Working in a convenience store brought rules and timetables that Axel wished he shouldn't need to care about. All facial jewellery and tattoos were forbidden - luckily he had none – and he had to be there before 8 o'clock or he would be out of there quicker than he wanted. What the rules didn't specify was hair. There hadn't been anything about hair in the advice given to the new workers and therefore his hair was how Axel showed his rebellion. They hadn't been all that pleased with his looks on the first day, but since there were no rules he had broken, his employer couldn't say anything about it. And so Axel continued to style his red hair proudly into a gravity defying piece of art just to piss everyone off.

It was a bad sign to be late during the second week. But what could Axel do if the job required him to be there at 8 o'clock in the fucking _morning_? Mornings weren't kind to Axel and waking up early had never been his best quality. He couldn't change the fact that he was more of a sunset than a sunrise person. Early bird caches the worm, but the early worm gets eaten by the early bird. Not that he was a worm.

Axel had made the principled decision not to sacrifice any of the time reserved for sleeping, getting up in time for this work and even though the night had been just what he had needed, he was _tired_ and not as sharp as usual now. He was late and he had no witty way to explain why.

Some hope with catching the 7.27 bus still lingered. Usually Axel would take one that left a bit earlier and took him a bit closer to the store, but the 7.27 bus was the only option left now, even though it was usually populated with annoying kids on their way to school, he wanted to keep this work.

Axel hurried down the stairs, out the door and over the street. The snow was finally completely gone and there was hope that none would appear before the next winter. The weather reports all told that the temperature would keep rising and soon enough there would be more grass, flowers and greenery. Keeping that in mind, Axel tried to cheer himself as he hurried over the muddy plantings. The bus stop was near, two streets and then around the-

Oh fuck.

Axel turned around the corner and saw the stop – and someone he didn't want to. That freaky brother of Cloud's. Axel had been able to avoid the boy all the time he had lived here. He had no idea when the boy had moved in, and couldn't care less. The information had no value to him.

Maybe they could pretend they didn't know each other? That's what sensible people do when they don't want to speak to each other. When you don't even want to strike small talk about weather, there's no need to start an actual conversation, let alone acknowledge the existence of the other.

Axel stopped as far as he could without looking like he was avoiding the kid, which was what he _was_ doing, and leaned to the wall. He hadn't missed how the crazy blond turned his head away. Maybe hoping to be left alone too? It had to be a good sign.

It was all good and silent for few minutes, and then the kid got his phone out and looked distressed. Axel had to copycat and reached for his phone too to look at the clock. The bus should've already been there, but obviously like every single time he was late to somewhere, it wasn't. Axel could only hope he hadn't missed his ride and it was only slightly late today and would appear any moment now to save him. Otherwise, he was screwed. Fired twice in three weeks, God, he didn't want that.

Axel looked up from his phone and tried to imagine the bus driving into sight from behind the corner wanting to believe in the power of wishes just to get the damn bus come faster. As he glanced at the street he saw how the Mini-Cloud lifted his face in similar hope. Axel really didn't need the kid resembling Cloud so much right now.

Axel had to look at his phone again. He was so going to get his ass fired for this. He knew that annoying your employers wasn't really that wise but after a week and a half and nothing particularly good to report of his contribution... Maybe had gotten a bit too careless. He was so going to get fired.

He was soon tapping impatiently with his foot. This morning was turning from bad to worse and it wasn't making any turns on its path as far as he could predict. Once in a while Axel tried to see the bus, but had no such luck. The kid was blocking half of his view the street, standing unnecessary close to the kerb, looking extraordinarily calm now. He didn't look like he was late; maybe Axel really had missed the one bus that would take him where he wanted on time.

Axel looked at the clock once again.

"Please stop that," the boy said but didn't bother to look at Axel's direction.

"What?" Axel retorted. He had been hoping he wouldn't need to speak to the boy at all. But no, he had no such luck. Obviously somebody wanted to irritate Axel even more.

"Stop looking at your phone. The bus won't come any quicker," the boy said and acknowledged Axel with a sideways glance.

Oh, so the kid was being a smartass. "And how do you know I'm looking at the time?" Axel asked and gave a glare he knew scared little children, sending them running down the street screaming for mama. Hopefully it would work this time and make this kid _Shut the Fuck Up_ or,even better, just disappear.

The kid couldn't care less for the scowl. "And did I say anything about looking at the time?" he asked.

Axel had to admit, he'd been fooled. "Hey, tell me. Have you and your brother made a contest of pissing me off? You know, the one who gets me really angry gets ten points? And if I just leave before yelling or hitting anyone, you have to settle with five?"

"What?" the boy replied bewildered. He looked at Axel to find an answer, but got only got a scowl back. "I guess Cloud has done something again. Please don't mix the two of us up," he explained calmly.

"Yeah, right," Axel shrugged. It wasn't anything like that. He wasn't blaming the brother of something that Cloud had caused. He was angry at the boy because he annoyed him with his stupid know-it-all attitude. Even his existence was irritating. Okay, Axel had to admit himself he was exaggerating a little bit. "Okay, sorry. Didn't mean to," he muttered but it didn't look like the kid had even listened.

Axel was proven wrong. The blond gave Axel a questioning look and had obviously heard every word. "Mean what?" the kid asked like it hadn't been clear what Axel had meant.

"To mix you two up," Axel clarified.

"Duly accepted," the boy nodded and turned his attention away. He stared in the direction of where the bus should appear, hid his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and completely closed off to his surroundings, mainly Axel, and into his own private world. Axel was happy with that and crossed his arms to warm his hands – it really was still almost freezing out there. Two days left of April and it was close to cold enough to snow, it just didn't sound right. Even if it had been something that had happened for years now.

Axel watched how his breath created white clouds of steam, waited for one to disappear before breathing again. He was sure that any minute now the boy would have had enough of the silence and start talking, but the kid kept his mouth firmly shut. Neither said a word before more people appeared to wait the bus and neither said a word afterwards either.

The bus finally arrived 15 minutes later than scheduled.

The kid didn't wait a second, disappeared inside quickly and the last Axel saw of him was the blond taking a seat at the end of the bus. Axel himself seated as far of the boy as possible, crammed into the disabled-seat next to an angry lady who didn't do anything else besides glare at him during the long ride. It had to be because of the hair.

It didn't take any longer than usual to end up in the city, in the middle of the high office buildings rising skywards. The streets were already crowded with people rushing to school and work and Axel joined their horde at the mall where most of the passengers hopped off. A usual grey morning was lightening up quickly, but Axel's day didn't look bright on any scale.


	4. Let's do the things we normally do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don't own, don't make money.
> 
> A/N: Dead Computer Count: 2. We just can't wait untill chapter 13. Lovely Lamatikah is still our lovely beta even if her computer isn't with us anymore. May it rest in peace.

Roxas, being the poor student he was, usually ate anything the cafeteria had to offer even if the daily portion of free food - that the city paid all of the 40 cents that one meal cost - could only be called almost edible. Most of the student population didn't even bother to check the menu before heading straight to the nearby store. Roxas only followed the masses when the cafeteria had nothing even resembling something edible to offer, like today. He was not going to touch that fish with green topping even if somebody paid him.

So it was time for him to go to the store. Or would've been if he'd had the money. He hadn't taken any with him in the morning and really didn't feel like borrowing either. There was still something waiting in the fridge back home, leftovers from yesterday's dinner, and he could eat immediately after school. Yeah, he'd probably be skipping the whole lunch, hopefully without dying from hunger.

It was half an hour later when Roxas had to admit to himself that it had not been a good decision. Whilst his friends ate in the cafeteria he'd tried to do some homework, sitting in the buzzing hallway surrounded by people laughing and eating their alternatives to the free meal, but as he tried to concentrate on the homework, his stomach started growling and its importance began to surpass everything else.

He placed the history book on the bench and started scavenging through the messy bag in search for some coins. He had a bad habit of just dropping stuff into the bag without really thinking about how to get them out again. Amongst some lost pencils, rubbers and sharpener garbage he did indeed find what seemed to be enough money to buy something food-like. He counted the money carefully and smiled. It was just enough for a bread roll and an ice cream. First one to keep his stomach quiet, second one to cheer him up.

It was fortunate that the convenience store was only three minutes of jogging from the school as Roxas really didn't have that much time left before he should be back. Not bothering to leave any kind of message for his friends who might come looking for him, Roxas left for the store.

The store wasn't too crowded and Roxas really wasn't that surprised, everyone from the school who was going to buy something had already bought it and no-one else dared to try an buy something when the store might be full of kids from the near by schools. Only Roxas was walking between the shelves thinking that he should've come earlier; he would've had more time to eat and maybe he would've been able to finish the homework he had been working on, instead of spending all that time thinking on his empty stomach.

All he could do now was to be quick and not to be late for the class. Roxas walked fast through the store, gathering everything he needed from their usual places – he had been there enough times to know his way out within half a minute - and hurried to the cashier's stand where he placed the garlic bread and ice-cream on the counter. He took the money out of his pocket and collected the coins he needed, ready to give them away immediately. The moment he looked up and smiled politely at the cashier expecting a similar smile back was the moment he froze.

Axel. Behind the cashier. Reading a magazine.

Roxas stared at him. What was Axel doing there? Axel had been on his bus stop without reason this morning- was he – was he stalking him or something? Roxas knew that Axel worked at Tifa's bar, there was _no_ reason for him to be here.

Axel hadn't seen him yet so if he really wanted he'd be able to hide... The problem was that there was nowhere else to go. If Roxas wanted to eat anything at all, he had to buy from this particular store and of the two cashier-stands, this was the only one free.

It would also look silly if he dropped everything and ran away now, and he didn't think shoplifting was the best reaction to seeing Axel - Roxas ended up cursing his bad luck for what felt like the hundredth time that day and sighing; he had to speak to the weird redhead.

Roxas' sigh was what made the magazine cease being so much more interesting than the job someone should've been doing. Axel raised his gaze off the magazine and it seemingly took him three whole seconds to realise who was standing in front of him, but after the knowledge hit him he almost fell off his chair. With a three-legged office chair that was a pretty admirable achievement.

Roxas examined Axel's sincere-seeming reaction, coming to the conclusion that if it wasn't actually sincere, it was almost Oscar-worthy acting.

Neither Roxas nor Axel said a thing and both just stared at each other until it lasted a bit too long and turned into an unnatural pause. It was Axel who broke the silence and flashed the smile Roxas had been expecting a moment prior. "Good day," Axel greeted him and tapped the conveyer to get Roxas' purchases move onto the other end of it.

There was no way this meeting was an honest accident. There were too many variables. Axel worked at Tifa's bar. That was the basic idea Roxas got from the conversation in front of the bar and he was sure he hadn't made a mistake. Tifa paid Axel well enough that he wouldn't need a second job. Cloud had often enough complained that Tifa shouldn't be paying so much. Where'd Axel get the time to have two jobs anyway? Why was Axel always there when Roxas was late for something? Too many things didn't add up for all to just be coincidence. Maybe he was missing the most obvious explanation?

Axel interrupted Roxas' musings by waving a hand in front of his face. "Hello, earth to blond kid. Are you buying these?" he gestured towards the food.

"It's Roxas. And no, I'm just dragging them around because they match my hair," he said sarcastically. "Of course I'm going to buy them. Why do you think I'm here?"

"Okay, there's no reason to get so angry over it," Axel said and started scanning the food.

Roxas was almost fuming, but was in control enough to wait until Axel had scanned the food before continuing. " _You_ might be here just so you could annoy me more," he said, earning a funny stare from Axel.

"What?" the redhead asked.

"I wish I'd believe in – I dunno... in karma. That I've done something to personally offend some higher deity and therefore have you following me everywhere." Roxas decided to let it all out. Why Axel pissed him off like this, he really didn't care right now. He just looked all too smug and above it all and– Some asshole thinking playing stupid was a good idea wasn't making his day any better. "Why do you have to stalk me?"

Axel wasn't going to be a punching bag to a kid and Roxas, as soon as he said it, knew he should've just kept his mouth shut.

"About this morning, Blondie, it was you who started talking. I would've just stayed quiet," Axel said and still managed to seem amused. "And I don't know what problem the Drama Queen has with me doing some honest work, and frankly, I do _not_ care. So if you've finished with childish insults, it's one ninety-five."

"I just told you to stop acting like checking your clock every thirty seconds helps the bus to come any quicker," Roxas said, but this time not feeling so brave anymore, he had to make an effort not to look away. "And do you want me to really insult you? I can do that. You are a _stalker_. There is no other explanation for these run-ins. Do you think you'll accomplish something by following me around? "

"Why would I even _want_ to stalk you? Stop flattering yourself. You are just a kid and not even an interesting one," Axel _laughed_. "I don't know where you get these paranoid ideas of yours, but I highly recommend you to get your head checked. Borrow your brother's pills. You're obviously not healthy."

Roxas grabbed the food from the conveyer. "I thought I was the customer here. You have no right to talk to me like that," Roxas said. "Apologise and I'm willing to forgive you. And who knows, I might not report you to your superior."

"No way in hell. What if you paid nicely for the food and I didn't report you for attempted shoplifting?" Axel tapped the monitor in the cashing machine. "What do you say? It's either one ninety-five or a trip to the police station." This time it was Axel's turn to grin.

Roxas had been too angry to realise he hadn't paid for the food he had in his hands. Well if that wasn't awkward... Roxas had no other option but to give up and pay the money. "I sincerely hope you are not here the next time I come," he muttered under his breath. If he'd ever come again.

"That's what I hope too. But hey, I think my boss would kill me if I said it out loud," Axel chuckled, but Roxas didn't stick around long enough to remark back. He needed to get out and fast. Both to avoid embarrassing himself any more and to get to the lesson that was about to start.

 **xXx**

The last lesson of the day felt like it would never end. It just lasted and lasted and the clock slowly crept forwards. Five more minutes, Roxas mused while chewing his pen. He had been doodling small pictures all over the borders of his notebook, not paying any attention to the teacher. His impending freedom meant that any attempt to pay attention would be doomed.

The last seconds ticked away with the speed of a snail. A snail that stops to look at the map every three seconds. It was lucky that this wasn't an English poetry lesson; he'd have a plethora more of metaphors for the slow creeping of the time waiting. Roxas sighed and turned his eyes back to the handout in front of him. There was no need to look at the clock; it would just seem to be taking more time than ever. There was no need, yet still he couldn't resist the temptation to glance again and again at the time, hoping it would miraculously disappear somewhere.

 _Still thirty more seconds. Twenty-nine more seconds._ Roxas stared the clock, not believing how slowly mere seconds were else in the classroom glanced at the clock or turned their heads restlessly. The room was filled with the sounds of scribbling, browsing through the textbook they should be using as help in their exercise, and near-silent, bored out of their minds kind of sighs. Roxas was probably not the only one who couldn't concentrate, but possibly the only one not to even remember what the handout was about.

 _Three..._

 _Two..._

 _One..._

And the bell finally rang. Roxas sighed in relief, packed all his stuff away and was out of the door before most of the students had even realised they were free to go. He had honestly thought it would never end and he was doomed to stare at the clock moving slower and slower for the rest of his life. Like a nightmare he would never wake up from.

Roxas didn't hate school any more than the typical student. He enjoyed most of it, had grades above average and his friends to help the days pass more quickly. Non-challenging lessons weren't his favourites. Non-challenging lessons with just a handout to stare at were the worst. There hadn't been any room for any chatter; they'd been expected to work with the handouts alone.

Since the school day was over, Roxas was now hurrying through the hallways. He didn't really have any plans, but getting home more quickly meant more free time to use the way he wanted. A while playing the Game or watching stupid afternoon-shows on TV, he would be satisfied with either right now. At the outdoor he took the last glance at the clock on the wall, made sure his bag was properly closed and readied for a run. He might still manage to catch the bus that left at five past.

He didn't have the time to open the door and disappear before a sudden yell made him stop. "Roxas! Wait!" she called in a voice Roxas knew all too well. He turned around and turned from the doorway to make way for other students trying to catch their rides home. Naminé came running through the streams of people and when she finally reached Roxas she was slightly panting.

Roxas was bemused by the sight. "Did you run all the way from the third floor?" he asked, a little shocked. Naminé really needed encouraging for athletic acts like that. She wasn't the most... She was more of a thinking and talking before running around like a chicken kinda person. Even though Roxas didn't share all her cautiousness, she was the only one of the friends Roxas had made after moving here that he'd hang around with outside school. She wasn't a friend as close as Hayner, Pence or Olette; Roxas had known them for too many years, but he did enjoy her company. She seemed like a quiet girl, but after Roxas had gotten to know her better, he'd found out she was a great listener. She would listen whatever he had to tell and whatever Roxas needed – encouraging, disagreeing, ideas – she would be there for him. And he'd be there for her.

Naminé leaned to her knees and drew a depth breath before answering anything. "I did. I really did. And thank goodness I got you before you left," she said.

Roxas smirked. "Were you afraid that I'd run off without you?" They hadn't planned anything so Roxas probably would've just left if she hadn't raised her voice. The reason for this sudden need to talk to him was a mystery though. "Have I forgotten something?"

"No, not really. I just haven't had the time to ask you." Naminé said and laughed. "The exam week is approaching and I still don't understand any geography. You did that course last semester and I thought... it's just that I thought you might help prep me," she explained, much to Roxas' surprise. She was usually the one who read the books through and knew then everything she needed to know. She didn't need to study; she was the one who tutored Roxas.

"Why? Did you skip every lesson or something? The stuff we were taught in the class wasn't that hard to understand." Roxas looked at her frowning. Geography had been downright boring. There had to be some interesting reason behind Naminé's sudden need of tutoring.

She was fidgeting nervously; obviously not wanting to tell the reason. "I… It doesn't really matter, does it?" she pointed out. "If it's not too much to ask and you're not too busy... Could you please help me? Just tonight? Just the basics?"

"I don't have too much time on my hands so..." Roxas began because he simply couldn't pass this perfect moment for bargaining. He wasn't going to make Naminé pay too much for his help, he was already almost laughing at the bright smile on her face – but a few answers to some of his questions would be pay enough. "If you don't tell me what's wrong, I don't know if I can help," Roxas teased.

Naminé came quickly to the same conclusion; answering questions was the price she would have to pay for Roxas' company. She started speaking slowly and her eyes wandered around, looking everywhere else but at Roxas - just for theatricality's sake. "You see… I was… How can I put this?" she muttered. "I don't want… I really don't want some of the _others_ hearing," she stated then firmly. A glance at a group of giggling girls passing them not five meters away told everything needed about the secret. Naminé confirmed his assumptions right after the giggling was far enough. "It's a little embarrassing. Actually, very embarrassing and wouldn't do good for my reputation"

Roxas snorted, failing at staying serious. "Reputation?" he questioned.

Naminé smiled at him. "You might not believe me, but I have many friends here. More than you do, anyway. If they heard I'd be royally screwed," she said and after a while her smile faded and she looked at Roxas more seriously. "Pretty please? I'll tell you when we're at my house," she added and there was nothing he could do.

"Fine," he agreed and when she jumped merrily in the air he added, "but someday you have to find someone else to share all this girly talk with."

Naminé nodded content with the terms. "Yeah yeah, I'll try really hard," she said and kept on smiling. She knew as well as Roxas that the threat was empty. She'd be free to tell all of her secrets if she so wanted. Roxas would keep her deepest and darkest secrets if she'd had those, he'd keep listening to the other kind too even if he'd had enough of those for a lifetime.

Naminé lived near the school, hardly a quarter of an hour's walking distance away, and Naminé decided to get rid of the silence on the way there by opening up. She took her sketchbook out of her bag and hugged it close. "You don't say anything to anyone," she made Roxas swear.

"Naminé," Roxas could only laugh. "Why'd I even want to?"

She smiled and flipped past the first few empty pages and then allowed Roxas to look as she quickly showed him her latest artwork, a pink-haired waiter portrayed on the pages over and over again. "I've been skipping some morning lessons to have time to pick a cup of cocoa at a place near here," she said and packed the book away. "The one you pass if you walk down the main street."

"Okay," Roxas nodded.

"I'll take you there someday," she said. "Spaghetti today?"

"If you feel like making. Wasn't a good idea to skip the lunch."

"I guessed you'd be hungry," she smiled. "Mum and Dad'll be out late tonight. I have to make the dinner anyway."

"I'll help you with the mountains, rivers and rainclouds and you feed me pasta. I think you've got a deal."

 **xXx**

Axel waited. He had been waiting for a while now, but it wasn't because his company was late. It was more about him being early. The job at the supermarket took eight hours of his life every day, but once the shift was over he was free to do what he wanted. And getting wasted was number one on the list tonight.

Axel had a half finished bottle in front of him, an empty chair opposite and too much room to dwell in the boringness. Working used to be fun, but this new occupation was a complete opposite of _fun_. He was sitting in this bar to celebrate finding a new job at all, which was a little silly seeing as he'd had the job at the supermarket for two weeks already; and hopefully to forget it completely after a couple of bottles more. And he had company that wouldn't deny him a single bottle coming. Axel lifted his head, searched the place after a familiar face, but was disappointed.

"Hullo Axel", greeted a voice suddenly at his left. Axel darted around and grinned at the greeting. Xigbar stood there looking like he had just entered in from a storm. He had droplets of water all over his black and gray hair and the collar of his shirt had also gotten wet. The cloudy weather had decided to turn into pouring rain.

"Long time no see," Xigbar continued and seated down. He threw his jacket over the back of the chair and looked around. The bar was quite calm, but crowded enough to only have a few free tables spare. This wasn't one of the most popular places in the city, you'd have to know about this place to wander in, but the prices were average and the atmosphere good enough.

Axel emptied the bottle he had already ordered and let out a satisfied sigh. "We spoke yesterday. And the day before that," Axel reminded Xigbar who was scanning the customers in search of somebody interesting.

Xigbar turned his attention back to Axel disappointed by the crowd around. "I meant it's been a while since we have actually _seen_ each other," Xigbar explained and leaned backwards, making himself comfortable. "It's been three weeks already since the last meeting."

Axel smirked back. "Yeah, been a while. But I'm not so sure there is really a need to. I'm completely happy without having to _see_ your ugly face all that often."

"Now do you think that is polite?" Xigbar asked, but never ceased to grin. "Tonight wasn't my idea. Time for some booze, finally?"

Axel nodded and moved the empty bottle aside. "It's your turn to pay. Get me anything you think matches my tastes," Axel ordered.

"As if! You just don't remember. I paid last time. You were, how could I say this, under the influence? Dead drunk?" Xigbar said and mimicked Axel's habit to tap his forehead.

Axel had some bad inklings about the truth, but shook his head as though in disbelief. "I don't recall anything like that."

"It was the time after we got pretty beaten up in the Game? Remember? We tried to fool some noobs, the usual. Beat them up into a pulp and so on," Xigbar explained waving his hand in the air and allowing Axel a moment to recall the incident. When Axel showed no signs of catching on, Xigbar continued. "They realized what was going on and called some of their friends to beat the bullies up, almost managing it. Quite humiliating. Larxene managed to fry the up in the end. The memory starting to gather?"

"Oh yeah", Axel laughed. "Taking revenge on them was fun though. We should do something like that again soon," he said and glanced at the empty bottle to demonstrate his wish of what he wanted to do next since Xigbar was still sitting at the table and Axel had nothing to drink left. "But I don't remember being all that wasted after the beating. We are talking about the time when half of the group came along? When you decided it was time to have a grand speech about life outside the Game?"

"Might have been," Xigbar admitted, shrugging. "But I do have life outside my computer. How about you? Anything new in your life?"

"I won't say anything before you open up your wallet and get us something to drink. I'll pay the next round," Axel promised.

"Okay, have your way. This time. But don't even dare to use the I'm-broke-card. I'll kill you if you do," Xigbar threatened and ceased smiling, managing to stay serious long enough to give a firm scowl at Axel.

"Promise! I just got a new job and have some money on my account. I'll pay," Axel reassured with his hand on his heart. Xigbar gave him a second scowl but left on his search of anything booze-like. Axel tapped the bar in the rhythm of the music playing on the background and decided to do his best to enjoy the evening. Tomorrow wouldn't be all that fun, but tonight, tonight he would spend just as he liked.

Xigbar returned with two ice-colds along him and placed them on the table. Axel didn't wait for him to tell about the content before opening his and doing his best to empty it. Xigbar just grinned and waited until Axel had gotten a good head start. Axel knew about the rule people had when drinking with him - let Axel get drunk and never pay anything - but wasn't worried. He could drink Xigbar under the table anytime.

Xigbar took a small gulp before launching onto the interrogation. "So, tell me. A new job? What happened with the one you had before?"

"At Tifa's? I got fired."

"So you finally-?" Xigbar stopped in the middle of the sentence laughing.

"Kick a friend when he's down, won't you?" Axel muttered and took a quick swig. "It's not that funny."

"What did you do?" Xigbar asked. "Grabbed her ass?"

"Nothing! And no," Axel shook his head.

"Yeah right, nothing at all. You never do anything to annoy people, ever."

"It wasn't my fault. She kicked me out 'cause her love life sucked. That's all there really was," Axel said and took a new swig.

"You earned a place in the top 10 of absurd explanations. So, what did you do to ruin her love life? Last time I heard you weren't all that interested in her. Even with _the_ boobs."

"It had nothing to do with me, weren't you listening to me at all? There would never have been any hope with her; she has a crush on this complete lunatic. And, you guessed it, it didn't end well. She got rejected, I got fired. And don't let me even start on this guy… He's on a heavy dose of meds just to keep sane, and doesn't even try to hide it. Is shows through too badly anyway."

"Tell me more," Xigbar laughed. "Your life seems so much interesting than mine. How do you always end up with the mental ones around you? You're like a magnet."

"If I knew, I'd do everything to avoid them. This Hi-I'm-on-meds-and-everybody -feels-pity-for-my-sake -guy is annoying as hell. He's a regular at Tifa's and came about every other night to torment me, the atmosphere and Tifa, though she never realized it. The funny thing in all this is that she did her best to catch his attention and he never even realised anything. She was quite literally all over him most of the time, but nope, not a clue."

Xigbar shook his head in sympathy. "And so you lost your chances with Tifa."

"I said already I wasn't there to hit on her. It was a job," Axel pointed out firmly.

"Okay, okay! I'm just saying that I would have understood, you know, if the reason for you getting fired had something to do with you grabbing her ass," Xigbar said lifting his hand up.

Axel sighed. "Xigbar. Let's leave it there. I got fired and that's all that matters. And I want to enjoy this evening," Axel declared, "and not to dwell in the misery of losing my job."

Xigbar let go of the subject with an apologetic grin. "You said you found a new job already, right? What about it?"

"Yeah, I found one. But it's not all that fancy," Axel shook his head. "It pays me money. And I'm here to spend it. Have you finished your bottle already?"

Xigbar looked at the nearly untouched bottle in his hands. "I guess I have to say no. But go get another one. I'll catch up with you soon enough."

Axel disappeared to get the second round and did a quick scan of the other customers. Nobody too special struck his eye this time around either and he returned to the table with the drinks. "So. What's happening in your life?"

It had to be hours later when Axel lifted his head from the table and attempted to count the number of empty bottles, realised it was more than ten so decided to stop counting. He was feeling happily wasted which was a good thing. Maybe a bit sleepy too- Yeah, it was little too late for someone who'd been forced out of bed before noon. "How late is it?"

"Something past three," Xigbar told. "I guess they are closing up soon. People are starting to leave. It's quite empty here."

"Let's go to some other place then!" Axel decided, but was too tired to jump up and actually get going.

"I'm not that sure that it's a good idea. You're not the only one pretty wasted here, but I'm sure everybody besides you thinks it a good idea to find the shortest route home," Xigbar yawned. He was in remarkably better shape than Axel which might have something to do with the fact that only a quarter of the bottles belong to him.

Axel let out a pitiful sigh. "You aren't coming with me then, are you?"

"If you are going, no. But I don't think you can even stand upright right now", Xigbar laughed without pity.

"Well, I'll clear my head once we get outside," Axel, ever the optimist, decided and made his first miserable failure of an attempt to get away from the table. Xigbar enjoyed watching his torment for a moment before coming to his aid. He offered his hand and dragged Axel up to his feet.

"How can you want to continue in this shape? Even you usually admit at this point in the evening that you've had enough," Xigbar asked helping Axel with his jacket.

Axel shook his head and took the jacket out of Xigbar's hands. He didn't like to be taken care of. "I have work tomorrow. Tomorrow morning," Axel muttered.

"You mean today," Xigar helped and the shook his head, "God, Axel. I thought you had a day off like I have tomorrow- _Why_ did you want go out drinking on a Thursday?"

"I just needed it, yeah?" Axel said and let a sloppy smile. "It's not like I can't manage sitting behind a cash register a bit hangover-y."

Xigbar looked pitifully as Axel took his time getting his jacket the right way on and then decided to give some friendly advice. "You should get home, get some beauty sleep. You need it badly. You won't survive through tomorrow if you continue drinking for much longer."

Axel shook his head, disbelievingly. "And here I thought you would never deny me a drink."

"As long as you pay for what you take, no. But you won't pay me anything if you lose your job now, will you? So get a hold of yourself and get home. _After_ you've paid for the evening, of course." Xigbar looked at Axel and apparently decided Axel wasn't in a condition to count. "Give me your wallet and I'll take the money out myself," he said and held out his hand. Axel stared quietly for a moment before rustling through his pockets for the requested item. After Xigbar had removed some money from it, Axel placed it back.

"We should get going," Axel declared and took the first steps while steadying his balance with the help of the table. He could hear Xigbar chuckle at the sight, but was too tired to care. He'd had enough to think with getting the jacket on and now walking through the room. He didn't want to say anything that would make Xigbar take his steadying hand away. Axel hoped that the clear, chilly night air would help the world stop swinging.

"Are you going to survive getting home in that condition?" Xigbar asked, giving his friend a hard look. Axel was standing upright, but not without leaning to the wall. He didn't look like he was feeling all that well either.

"Yeah. No problem. I just wait a moment and everything will be clear again. I've been here before."

"I'd take you home, but you live quite far away and…"

"Thanks a freaking lot," Axel mumbled and gave Xigbar a scowl.

"Okay, okay. My fault. I let you drink. I'll help you get to the bus stop," Xigbar sighed and collected Axel from the wall.


	5. A place in Time

 

The morning started with a screaming headache. It wasn’t the first time Axel had drunk over his limit and had been left wondering how he’d found his way home the following morning, but usually he’d be spared the horror that was the alarm having a screaming contest with his head. A loud noise right next to his left ear made, well, it made things difficult because without it Axel could’ve just buried his head back into the pillows and slept past the worst stage.

Alarms often had deeper meanings besides not allowing him to continue sleeping the nausea away, but Axel had no clue what it might be this time. His memory was still kinda foggy and he waited the moment when everything would just rush back in. Or at least the most important bits of it so that he’d know where he should hurry to.

The noise had to be from his phone since Axel didn’t own an old school alarm clock - didn’t really need one too often, what with working in a bar- Yeah, what with _having_ worked in a bar. Was this work related?

It was screaming because he had to be somewhere. That one was kinda obvious. Axel let out a sad attempt at chuckle which was more of a pained sight than anything else, covering his eyes with his hands to avoid the burning light. He sighed, gave up and tried to reach to the side table where he usually kept his phone, but failed. He opened his eyes just to realize slowly that something wasn’t right. Something was really, really wrong. He rolled onto his back and just stared up at the ceiling trying to gather his somewhat scrambled memories before even thinking of panicking.

 _The ceiling looks different,_ his always observant mind told him in an annoyingly composed voice. _And_ _this definitely isn’t my bedroom,_ it added as an afterthought.

Axel shut the voice and the words out without hesitating. He probably didn’t need to know what was going on. It was probably best for all involved that he didn’t know now. He’d have to find the phone that was screaming like there’d be no tomorrow before the noise made his head split in two and...

Like no tomorrow. Which there wouldn’t be for Axel if he... If... He finally remembered why there even had been an alarm. Work today. Work from 8 o’clock onwards.

Locating the phone with his sudden burst of panicky energy wasn’t really hard. The phone lay on top of a pile of clothes. The pile made things even more alarming because Axel then realized he was wearing absolutely nothing. What the hell was he doing? He had no idea where he was and appeared to be completely nude!

 _Something happened last night,_ his Sherlock of a brain noted and to silence it down Axel let a desperate growl. He had no time to think. He dressed quickly, not caring that he probably smelled awful, took his phone and hastily found his way out of the apartment. He didn’t take time to find out if there was anyone home, he _didn’t_ want to know the whole story right now. This day would be painful enough without the information.

 _Xigbar dropped me at the bus stop...Where’d I go then?_ The headache made it hard to think clearly, and Axel realized he was thankful for that.

 **xXx**

The first thing Roxas noticed was the unsettling silence in the apartment. It was quiet enough for him to be able hear the raindrops on the windowsill. Usually he woke up to the noise of Sora making breakfast full speed, while at the same time watching the morning cartoons and sometimes even talking on the phone with one of his merry little friends. All that was missing. It was simply too peaceful.

The second thing Roxas noticed was the time and how he should have been at school ten minutes ago. He cursed his alarm clock like any sensible being and let his head fall back to the pillow before realising that this really wasn’t an answer. He jumped out of his bed in record speed, didn’t care to check if the shirt he picked up matched with his pants, they were both clean enough and that was the only thing that mattered. Taking care of the basic hygiene, no shower though, one slice of bread and out of the door was all that Roxas really had time to.

There was a bus that would allow him to be in time to the second class - he’d done this once and only once before - but he had no chance of catching it without running across the lawn which was the worst offence one could do around here, according to the neighbours every single time Roxas had the misfortune of meeting one. The only good thing Roxas could say about Axel was that he’d not once accused Roxas of being responsible for ruining the vulnerable plantings. It was all a bit absurd; Roxas only used the short way when he was late and he was never late and he definitely wasn’t the one who always left a muddy path through the flowerbeds. Except today.

Roxas was out of breath and thirsty and it was raining, not really pouring, just keeping the air moist enough, but it seemed like he was on time when he arrived to the bus stop. There was one kid Roxas knew went to his school standing there. Roxas drew a couple of deep breaths to catch his breath. He was in no poor shape, but running fast within fifteen minutes of waking up, no thank you.

Thefading adrenaline spike left him feeling tired again. He’d only had half the sleep he normally needed to work properly; the Game had stretched far longer into the night than expected.

Thankfully, the bus arrived on time. Roxas didn’t know what he would’ve done if it had been late too, probably just turned back and called in sick.  Missing one lesson, even a whole day wasn’t too dangerous, he wasn’t going to miss anything too important and school grades weren’t a matter of life and death. Not for him at least. But catching up, explaining was nothing he enjoyed.

The bus kept making a low humming noise and Roxas leaned to the window in his comfortable seat after all the hurry of the morning. There was nothing he could do now, he was in the bus, the bus would take its time, he’d get to school when he’d get there... He closed his eyes just for a small moment, rested his head against the window glass and drifted into a light sleep, clutching his backpack on his lap.

After some time the backpack slipped from Roxas’ fingers and fell onto his left foot. He was startled when the pain from the impact registered and for a moment he didn’t know where he was. He looked around and realised that he was on the bus. He relaxed against the back of the seat and looked out of the window. From the corner of his eye he saw his stop disappearing around the corner.

Once again Roxas cursed the morning and everything and everyone who had anything to do with it. He pushed the stop button as fast as he could, took his backpack from the floor and when the bus’ doors opened he sprinted towards the school.

Roxas realised he was comparing how much easier his life had been when Mum had been there to make his breakfast every morning and wake him up for school. Actually, Mum would’ve prevented everything that sucked about the morning. But under her watching eye Roxas wouldn’t have all the fun he had in the evening, so there wouldn’t have been any need for her in the morning.

He’d only missed one stop and the run wouldn’t be that long. Some people even preferred this stop to the other one, claiming that it was more pleasant way through the city. The other stop was on the side of a park, muddy and bare most of the year, but nice at the end of the school year. The one Roxas was now running from lay close to the city-centre and was surrounded by shops of different sizes. The way to school took several turns around corners but wasn’t actually that much longer. Roxas reached the last corner soon enough, but unfortunately someone else was doing the same thing at the same time. And in the opposite direction.

Roxas’ bag's content was suddenly lying all over the street. He didn’t have the time to stay and yell at the person who he had run into, no matter how tempting the idea was. He just gathered all of his stuff, smothered the instinct to hiss at the other person and continued running without looking back.

 **xXx**

On the other hand Axel was in hurry of his own and running into a random teenager too self-centred to even apologise wasn’t doing any good  for him either. Now he just needed to figure out a good excuse for being late for work. “I went drinking with my buddies and woke up somewhere that wasn’t my home and thus didn’t know how to get to work. Besides, I drunk so much I don’t even know if I’m fit to work today” just didn’t cut it. He needed to find something better to say and he needed it fast. For some reason hangover-days weren’t his favourites.

 **xXx**

It was like the day hadn’t even existed. Gone in a flash when he’d blinked his eyes, leaving no memory whatsoever. Roxas was sitting in the bus again, a bag full of sweaty clothes and a struggle-bat occupying the seat next to him - he was a textbook example of dead tired. The trainings just sucked all energy out of him and on top it all, he had not gotten enough sleep, not even after using a free period and half of the lunch break sleeping on one of the sofas in the hall. He would have slept through the break if Naminé hadn’t insisted he should eat at least _something_. Luckily he had, even in the sleepy state of mind, admitted it was a good suggestion. Being tired and hungry at the moment would have been the only combination that could have made him even more miserable.

Spring meant it was nearly summer, lightness and happiness and who knows, rainbows and lollipops too. Roxas was pretty sure he was the only one who couldn’t care less for spring. It was the time of the year when night would never fall and day just never ended, and he was tired all the time. He could never get a good night’s sleep with all the light shining thought his curtains. He liked summer, by then he would already be used to the increased amount of light and it didn’t pain him anymore, not even at nights, but this time of the year, the early spring days, filled him with annoyance. Why was everybody so happy  when he couldn’t sleep?

Roxas searched his key out while avoiding the water ponds. He’d lived in the apartment for long enough to know where rain would gather into ponds and made his way past them without getting his shoes wet. Really, the first few times had been enough. After walking one whole day with wet sneakers he had carefully memorised the places; he hated it when everything was muddy and messy.

Dodging the ponds had become like a reflex to him and he was able to do it now without really paying any attention to his environment. That was how he was almost at the door before he realised someone was sitting there, blocking the way in. Someone Roxas knew.

Someone named Axel.

Roxas stopped and stared for a grand total of three seconds before he managed to shake off the surprise and decide to ignore the man completely. Axel was probably waiting for someone, the only reason Roxas could think off for him to be sitting there. Really, the weather wasn’t _that_ nice for someone to need spend more time outdoors than they had to. Roxas walked past the man to the door without sparing a second glance, without a greeting or a nod and placed his key in the lock, turned it and opened the door. There would have been no trouble if Axel hadn’t jumped up at that exact moment.

“And _what_ do you think you are doing?” Roxas asked. He didn’t like it when people didn’t act like expected. He’d really been happy with getting away from the man as fast as he could, their last encounter hadn’t been the most pleasant one and knowing Axel – yeah, the redhead wouldn’t forget Roxas’ embarrassing messing up at the supermarket any day soon.

“Me? I’m trying to get in,” Axel stated, matter-of-fact.

Roxas rolled his eyes. He could see that much by himself. “Use your own key?” Surely Axel had one, he lived there for crying out loud.

“I don’t have it with me?” Axel suggested and flashed an annoying grin.

Roxas didn’t make any move to let Axel through. This was the perfect moment for some payback and Roxas could be an asshole too if he wanted. There was no way he’d be able to convince Roxas to be nice now. No way.

Roxas intentions to just slip away were a bit too obvious and Axel smiled at him. It was a smile that made Roxas sure Axel wasn’t going to just let him go. It wasn’t like Axel could do anything to stop him, but... It would take all the fun away from the payback if he’d simply leave without hearing Axel complaining.

“You know I live here. Is there a reason for you to not let me in? No. It’s spring and it’s freaking cold and miserable to sit out here and wait for somebody to let me in.” Axel said like it was Roxas who should feel bad all of sudden - why should he? Axel deserved to be let out here. Really did. But Axel had almost reduced to begging... Almost.

Roxas rolled his eyes and settled with the only comeback that he could without warning muster - pointing out the obvious.“Why haven’t you called the caretaker to help you?”

“Well, wiseass, if it troubles you so, yes, I thought of calling her to help me in. But I don’t have her number. And my phone’s battery is dead, so the number wouldn’t help much anyway.”

Roxas couldn't have given him the number anyway. It wasn’t exactly anything he thought he needed on a regular basis so he didn’t know it either. It was Sora he called when he forgot his keys, a habit that he had been sure to get rid of after one peculiar incident. Forgetting his keys, that is. He hadn’t done it once in a full month now.

Roxas would've said he pitied Axel, run inside, slam the door in his face and laugh wickedly afterwards, but his mighty plan of action backfired. Once again he had no luck in situations that had something to do with forgotten and lost keys. His misfortune came this time in the form of an overly happy, spring-enjoying person. Luckily, there was only one that this description suited living in the house. Unfortunately, that one lived in the same apartment as he.

“Roxas!” Sora’s cheerfulness could be heard from afar as he jogged up the muddy lane leading to the door. The look on Axel’s face couldn’t be called an unreserved happy one, but it was clear he saw this as an improvement in his situation. Roxas, on the other hand, thought the exact opposite.

“Hi, Sora,” Roxas greeted and with far less enthusiasm. He stood still, kept the door slightly open with the help of his foot, and forced a smile on his face.

Sora didn’t notice that Roxas was not too happy to see him or he chose to ignore it, Roxas didn’t know or care for that matter. It seemed Sora had walked right through most, if not all of the ponds of muddy water on the way home and didn’t miss the lake at the bottom of the steps either. Roxas took a look at the shoes his cousin was wearing and let out a deep sigh. They, no, _he_ would need to clean up their hallway. Again. Like every time it rained. Or snowed, the sand they spread on the streets then was really nothing Roxas wanted to find inside the house.

“Hi to you too, Axel. What are you doing with Roxas?” Sora asked as soon as he stopped on the lowest step. Why Sora hadn’t bothered to treat Axel with the same enthusiasm and shouted greetings was a mystery to Roxas. Maybe it was reserved to friends only who should be eternally grateful?

 “What am I doing with Roxas?” Axel repeated. Roxas flashed a smile at Sora and gave a careful scowl towards Axel, hoping that he’d hidden the scowl from Sora. Axel ignored his warning. He did exact the opposite Roxas had tried to signal with his stare.

“We are trying to get in, that’s what we’re trying to do,” Axel said and grinned. There was a total turnaround from the previous, but Roxas couldn’t really point what had changed. Axel suddenly acted all friendly and nice, and had clearly gotten a new friend of Sora. Sora usually made people happy and smiley, but Roxas had expected - hoped - that Axel was immune to it.

There was still a chance that this was Axel just playing with Sora and getting what he wanted through manipulation. It didn’t really matter what the case was. Roxas still found him annoying and would’ve wanted to just leave, but Sora was smiling right next to him and he’d have to give up the idea of a new scowl. It was clear that Axel didn’t care what he thought and Sora would only complain about Roxas’ attitude. There was no way Sora would leave Axel out in the cold like Roxas wanted. He turned to face Sora’s smile, but encountered what seemed to be the look of some sort of disappointment.

“What?” Roxas asked.

“Did you forget your keys again?” Sora asked. “You should be happy that Axel _chose_ to help you in and you didn’t have to climb up to the roof again.”

Sora had misread the situation, much to Roxas’ indignation. All he could do was sigh once more. Trust Sora to make the situation more frustrating, especially when it’s spring.

“Sora, the door is open. Look, I have my foot there so that it won’t close,” Roxas pointed out and made sure Sora saw what he was talking about. “ _I_ opened it with _my_ key,” Roxas showed the keys in his hand. “ _Axel_ here has lost his and needs to call the caretaker to get in,” he explained, making carefully the correct emphasises. His tone of voice wasn’t all that nice anymore. “And he doesn’t have the number or a phone to use to make the call. Don’t go blaming me.”

Even the mentioning of the roof-incident made Roxas angry, since he had no need to hear about it again and _again_. The story had quickly spread to his mum, Cloud and all of Sora’s happy little friends and he had got scowls and laughs aplenty. He admitted that it had been bad judgement from him; it hadn’t helped him in any way and could have ended tragically. Luckily, he had only managed to be late, make his friends angry, make his family worry, and given people a new way to tease him.

Fortunately for Roxas, Sora decided to drop the subject for now to seek answers and avoid a fight. He turned his attention at Axel, smiled brightly. “What are we waiting here then? We have the number on our notice board. Axel, you can come to our apartment and loan a phone. And while waiting, you can help eat some of our delicious fruitcake. Roxas, didn’t you say yourself that we needed to invite somebody to eat the stuff away?” Sora explained, clearly excited about his brilliant plan.

“Thank you. That sounds like an excellent idea,” Axel hurried to accept the offer before Roxas could open his mouth and call the whole deal off. Axel was polite enough to flash a smile, albeit a smug one, at Roxas. Roxas just looked away and hoped the caretaker would be quick. He had a huge pile of homework to do and he really didn’t need this.

Sora took the lead, jumping two stairs at a time all the way up to the third floor and then in from the first door to the left. He disappeared inside and informed that the piece of paper with the number was - unsurprisingly- lost again. It was always the same when something was needed. Axel and Roxas were left standing alone together in the hall as Sora began with the hunt for the missing number.

“The living room is straight in front of you. Search the sofa if you like,” Roxas advised. He left his bag on the hallway floor and went after Sora to offer some help. It took some time to find the paper with the caretaker’s number on it, but the phone call was short enough.

“She promised to be here within a half hour,” Axel told them as he quit the call. Roxas was all but beaming with happiness, but made no remark on the length of the wait. After all it could still take longer. Sora on the other hand seemed happy with the time Axel had to spend with them. He took the phone and placed it on the living room table, among his schoolbooks and dishes from yesterday evening. It was clear that it had been Sora’s turn to clean.

“I’ll go get the cake ready. Roxas, you keep our guest company,” Sora said with a smile and disappeared then into the kitchen. The sound of kitchenware being enthusiastically moved about could clearly be heard all the way to the living room.

Axel sat back in the sofa, to the far side of where Roxas had sat down, and looked around the room. It was quite empty, but there were little things that away that it belonged two teens who had yet to graduate. Roxas followed Axel's eyeline as slyly as he could, but the man didn’t stop to stare at anything in particular. The atmosphere between them would be best described with the word awkward.

“Is he always like that?” Axel asked a bit hushed after the silence had stretched around them for a few moments. “Inviting total strangers to his home, I mean.”

Roxas nodded. “Most people find it adorable though.” Most people included every single one of Sora’s friends, or in other words, almost every person Sora had ever met. Excluding Roxas. Which was unfortunate as despite all the friends Sora made, it was still he who was stuck living under the same roof as him.

“You don’t?” Axel asked amused.

Roxas's look was self-evident, but he added, “No,” anyway. After staring a few seconds longer he added, “And neither do you.” Apparently Axel could be counted out of Sora’s fan club too, for whatever reason.

“I’m thankful to find anyone to sympathise me right now,” Axel stated accompanied with a shrug.

Roxas bypassed the accusation; he didn’t care enough to cause unnecessary annoyance. It wasn’t all the time he found someone who wasn’t completely smitten by Sora and he didn’t want to ruin the change to finally get to laugh at his cousin with someone.

“So, do you find it strange how he’s happy and careless all the time?” he asked. Axel had been exposed to Sora enough times for Roxas to realistically hope Sora’s energy had started to annoy.

Axel only shrugged at first, but then smiled as if he’d come up with something clever to say and asked, “Is that how he is all the time? He’s not just on something every now and then? Hard to believe that there’s still someone trusting enough to ask me over without questions. Thought they’d be extinct already.”

“Well, call the natural history museum, Sora’s a lively example of alive.”

Axel looked at Roxas for a moment. “Why do you live with him, if you find him so annoying? From what I've heard anyone else would be thrilled to get to live under the same roof as him.”

Roxas was surprised that Axel didn't realise they were related. Or remember it. He’d been introduced to Sora briefly that one night, but the resemblance was striking enough to most people to give them the courage to just assume; they’d been mistaken for twins more than once. Any other kind of brothers they simply couldn’t be, they seemed to be too close of age. “We’re cousins. And it’s easier to share this place than have our own.”

“That answers multiple questions,” Axel said and Roxas looked at him not really getting what he was implying.

“Do I want to know…?”

Axel smirked. “No, I don’t think you do.”

Roxas rolled his eyes. He let it slide. “So, how much do you know about Cloud?”

Axel looked amused, but he didn’t seem to have too much variation between amused, grinning and annoyed when it came to expressions as far as Roxas could tell.

“Very little.Why are you so interested in your brother's ‘friends’?” Axel made quotation marks in the end with his hands at the last word. “I’m really not nor ever will be one of Cloud’s friends.”

“He never tells me anything voluntarily,” Roxas answered truthfully.

Axel laughed at the quick reply. “He does seem the kind of guy who likes his privacy. Shouldn’t be surprised if that includes his own family.”

“No, you shouldn’t,” Roxas said and for a moment both of them smiled at each other over the stupidity and insanity of the people around them. Neither one of them said anything after that, but the silence wasn’t as awkward as just a few moments ago.

After the ridiculously long wait Sora had finally got everything that was needed out of the cabinet.

“Here we go! The tasty fruitcake Roxas, our friends and I made!” Sora walked forth balancing three plates in one hand and the cake in the other. The whole thing looked extremely unstable and it was a miracle that Sora got everything to the table without breaking a sweat, not to mention a plate. Axel flashed a thankful smile at Sora and took a piece of cake. Roxas mimicked his actions.

“Not bad,” Axel remarked as he was stuffing the piece quickly into his mouth. He had half-finished his second piece when the doorbell rang.

“It must be the caretaker!” Sora jumped up and ran to the door. He opened it and waved Axel to come to the door. It was time for him to go. Axel stuffed the rest of the piece in his mouth and followed. He looked back and tried to smile with his mouth full of cake. Roxas interpreted it as a way of thanks and smiled back.

 **xXx**

At Six p.m. on the following Friday Axel looked at the clock on the faraway wall and smiled. His workday was finally over and he could get the hell away from this awful place _right_ now. He hated the announcements that were completed with the most annoying sound in the world, the most chipper tune ever invented. He hated the light, the bluish and cold which reflected from the white floors and the shelves, hurting his eyes. And he hated with passion the screaming kids from the nearby school, the midday rush and queues that just keep growing, no matter how much faster and faster he scanned.

There wasn’t a single reason for him to delay his leave any longer. Even the customer walking towards him, groceries neatly placed in the awful coloured basket, couldn’t make Axel wait. One click and the cash register locked itself up, signed him out and he was free. It was Friday and he had no work during the weekend this time.

Enjoying the jealous looks and one angry one, from the lady standing at the now empty cash desk, Axel walked out of the door. He was almost proud of himself. He had been in time today; woken up with the alarm and caught the right bus. Therefore, he had the _permission_ to leave right on time today. He had behaved like a normal labourer all day, even his boss hadn’t found anything to complain about. It made Axel...scared. He was too young for this. He didn’t like the thought of this becoming his way of life, boring, unsurprising and tiresome. Damn, he slept more than he had ever needed while working at Seventh Heaven. And even thinking about the future, concentrating on his studies once again maybe and working like this at the same time...

Making money somehow was a necessity. Sure, he could get evening shifts from here. He could use his days at the university if there was a need to fasten up the pace he now studied at, evenings here at the supermarket and then the nights- He’d probably be sleeping. Sounded like a life that missed a) time for the Game b) parties c) living in the first place d) chances of surviving. He needed another place to work in, but the alternatives weren’t all that good. Getting the job at Tifa’s was solely because of his connections. It had been like reaching the paradise for a broke 22-year-old landing a job like that. Free booze once in awhile, nice company, working hours late in the evening... It wasn’t likely he would find another just as wonderful.

The bus stopped, the doors opened and Axel jumped off. It was something around 6.30 p.m. by now, but the sun was still shining and it was actually quite warm. The grass was still nowhere to be seen, but the first, small leafs where there to make the scenery a bit greener and more like summer. Axel hurried the way home over the street.

And at the door it hit Axel. It was reason finally kicking in. You can’t fire someone because you just happen to have a bad day, especially if the fired worker can make one call to the authorities and point out that there's something fishy going on with the account book, something suspicious about some payment arrangements. Since Axel was already out there, there was no way of showing he was doing something illegal, no... But Tifa, Tifa wouldn’t want someone checking the way she paid her employees.

Oh no, this sounded like a bad case of illegality! Tifa had committed a crime and it just _might_ be that Axel could let it slide if she would take him back in.

Axel never opened the door. He left running, running and smirking, in the other direction, knowing that now this would be a good day. It hadn’t been all _that_ bad in the beginning, but it looked brighter in that moment. Oh, he would enjoy the conversation with Tifa.

Seventh Heaven was just as lively as usual on Fridays when Axel arrived, only a few people sitting at the tables, no more. He walked in proudly and Tifa noticed him right away, her expression a mix of surprise and suspicion. She was busy making the work of two, it was easy to see that she hadn’t got a replacement for Axel. The glasses weren’t shining as brightly as last time Axel had seen them.

Axel glanced around, smugly satisfied as he noticed Cloud wasn’t there, and walked straight to the counter. His usual place was taken, which was a letdown, so he was forced to sit down in the middle of the row of stools.

“Good evening, Tifa,” Axel greeted her and knew that the smile on his face was smug. Tifa’s answer was a questioning look, encouraging him to continue. She didn’t seem angry at Axel anymore, but her lack of words wasn’t welcoming either.

“Well, I don’t know if you’ve spent any time pondering over the events of four weeks ago – but I have,” Axel began circling around the subject. Tifa crossed her arms and gave a look that expressed some sort of haste. She wasn’t clearly interested in guessing what Axel had to say.

“Axel, I don’t think this is the place you come to spend your Friday nights. So, tell me what it is or I will ask someone to guide you out.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t do that,” Axel grinned. “’Cause, like I said, I’ve been pondering and found something that may interest you greatly.” He waited for Tifa to ask the question just to prolong the enjoyment.

She did what was expected and, sounding very annoyed, she asked, “What is it?”

Axel took his time, smiling. “Well, I don’t think we have forgotten the Cloud incident, have we?”

“No. And I think it was around that time that I clearly stated that you are fired and not welcome here anymore,” Tifa reminded him. The customer sitting closest suddenly thought it a good idea to move from his place and disappear for a while.

“Yes, I remember that too. But it just so happens that,” Axel kept a pause to make his point clearer, “you can’t.”

“I can’t what? Kick you out again? I can do that easily, with my own hands if needed.” She laughed humourlessly.

“Tifa, Tifa. It doesn’t matter if you throw me out of the door. I’m talking about firing me. Kicking me out without a reason might encourange me into telling someone about a certain illegality.  There’s a little bit of law-bending going on here.”

Tifa made no comment, but it wasn’t that hard to see she was thinking about Axel words closely. “You want your job back then?”

“Well, that would seem to be what I'm implying. I won’t report your crime and I get my job back. And a small raise wouldn’t hurt.”

“You...” she shook her head. not seeming angry at all. Axel couldn’t keep off smiling, it was clear that this was going just as he had hoped.

“So, it’s a deal?”

Tifa leaned closer. “How could I say no to such a pitiful sight? But I don’t think you’ve earned a raise, and I see no way you can persuade me into giving you one,” she remarked and smirked. “That really is a _charming_ outfit by the way.”

Axel looked quickly at what he was wearing and a curse escaped his lips. He hadn’t even thought about it, but there would have been a reason to open the one damn door and get in and change. He was still wearing the obligatory supermarket shirt. A green t-shirt with yellow lines here and there. And a sizable logo.

“It’s a deal then. And I’ll begin on Monday,” Axel had to say the last word and decide something. Tifa nodded and left to start serving the other customers again. Finding no reason to stay any longer, Axel walked without hurry back home. He would enjoy the phone call on Monday. _Oh, I’m sorry, but I have now a work that both pays me and makes me enjoy living once more. Guess if I’m going to show up today._

This _was_ a good day. A day worth a drink. Or two. There was only the question of whom to call as company left. And he might just know who’d be the first pick.


	6. There is what to be done?

"Hi- Yeah, I know it's been awhile," Axel said when the phone was finally picked up. "I was just wondering if you'd be interested...You know me. In accompanying me while I try and get as wasted as possible?"

The moment of hesitation was nonexistence. " Axel, why on earth do you call me? Wouldn't Saïx or Xigbar be more like your usual company? Or, I don't know, call Vexen."

"Right." Axel found himself laughing. "You have something against me?"

"Against you? Of course not." Giggling from the other end of the line. "I only thought that youwouldn't be all that interested in getting me there to watch over you. You haven't forgotten, have you?"

"The accident? No, definitely not," Axel muttered and tried not to remember everything while listening to the sniggering. "Xigbar is out of the question, I was drinking with him just a week ago. And I'm quite sure I own him some money... And I'm not desperate enough to call Demyx again either. Saïx said no."

"So are you saying I'm the last choice then?"

"I know you won't mind," Axel said.

"That might hurt my feelings, you know," she said and fell silent for a moment. "What's in it for me?"

"Good company? Some rumours? You might have a chance to try humiliating me once more?" Axel suggested, but reminded himself to be a bit more careful this time. This might be a bad idea, but there really weren't anyone else to call. And it wasn't like he didn't enjoy spending time around danger.

"You are willing to take responsibility of the consequences? Not to blame me if something happens?" she questioned innocently and Axel almost let it slip. Almost.

"No." The only answer he got was laughter that couldn't care less of his answer. He rolled his eyes fully aware the gesture couldn't be seen through the phone and continued after there was once again silence. "So, is it a yes or a no?"

"I'm glad you have no survival instinct. Where do you want to meet?"

xXx

"What is it, why have you suddenly forgiven me?" was the only greeting Axel got. She was already standing outside the place they had gotten agreed about, a place Axel had never been in, when Axel found his way there. It looked nice enough, was a bit farther away from the usual area Axel used to hang around, but interesting enough. Nothing he'd suggested had been anywhere near good enough and in the end, he had been forced to realize that there would be few things he would decide tonight.

"Forgive you? Who said I've forgiven you?" Axel asked. "I haven't forgotten or forgiven anything."

"Oh, poor you", she said and overdid the pity purposely. "But hey, don't blame me. I'm completely innocent."

"Larxene, don't even try. I might have had been a bit careless with my drinking, but if you hadn't encouraged me-" Axel sighed. "Don't make me do anything stupid tonight and you may think yourself forgiven. Clear? And if I find out that there has happened something I'm involved with-"

"Your threats won't work, dear Axel," she smiled and pointed at the door. She liked to smile, but Axel wasn't all that sure it was a pretty sight. Something in that smile made him always afraid. "I suggest we get in and you continue ranting and raving after you get something to drink. You're awful lot funnier then."

The early evening turned quickly into a bright night – Summer was closing in and the sun seemed to forget to set - and their pace wasn't slowing down at all. The night had been nice, filled with Larxene's laughter, giggling and her being her usual self; painfully making it clear that she was far more successful in life than Axel. She somehow managed to make things done, had money to keep herself alive and the life interesting. She'd be getting through the university and with the best marks within few years. Axe could be happy if he'd get a diploma in hand in ten years time – he really wasn't working like he should, and like Larxene did.

And well, drinking in this amount didn't do that much good either.

Therefore, speaking about work with Larxene had its obvious results, which were different than when Axel had brought the subject up in Xigbar's company. Where Xigbar's reaction to Axel getting fired was something like pity, Larxene had found it extremely funny and worth of picking on. And she wasn't going to let go of it anytime soon.

"Why didn't you tell me you worked as a cashier? I would have loved to visit the store once or twice," she wondered though the answer was obvious. A taunting sneer never let her lips, but she did her best to sound harmless.

Axel found the question worth of a shrug. "I didn't want to destroy your image of me. Me as an ordinary citizen, good and boring and all clean-cut, nah, you wouldn't have like the sight," he grinned. He was glad that no-one of his friends had had the misfortune to stray into the particular store he had been forced to work in. The image of the work-outfit still haunted him.

"What are you thinking?" Larxene asked and Axel realized he had been lost in a thought. She smiled at the surprise on his face. "I have a hard time imaging you fitting in as a cashier," she continued. "Odd to think you blend in the mass."

"I never blend in the mass, it's impossible," Axel declared. "They had rules to make us workers fit in the image of their company. No facial piercings, tattoos, anything like that. But nothing about hair, not a single word," Axel told a proud smile on his face.

Larxene didn't act like she was surprised. "I knew that you wouldn't sell your honour that easily. I'm proud of you."

Axel lifted the glass of something Larxene had decided to get them and suggested a toast. "I survived almost three weeks of hell, you damn should be," he announced and emptied the glass. "I'm going to enjoy the phone call on Monday. They think I'm going to show up early in the morning, but they are badly mistaken."

Larxene waited for an explanation. "And why is that?"

"I told you, Tifa had no other choice than to give my work back. And I have no worries anymore." Axel smiled with the thought. He knew that the amount of booze he had already had was one of the reasons why the world seems such a happy place, and he liked the feeling.

"You haven't informed them at the store that you have resigned?" Larxene asked.

"I found out today that there's no need for me to continue working there. I haven't had the time," Axel said. "And I won't go back to the place. Never," he stated firmly.

"So, this is the night of celebrating?" Larxene asked a delighted smile on her face. Axel nodded not fully understanding why she found it interesting at all. "You could have mentioned that today had a special occasion. I could have-" Larxene told, but swallowed the rest. She looked like she was searching for the words.

"You could have what? Thrown me a party?" Axel suggested.

She laughed. "Well, I don't think I would have bother to do that much, but something should be done besides just drinking like this."

Axel tried at the empty glass. He was celebrating just like Larxene had pointed out so maybe he could get one more. "What's wrong with this?"

"I'm not saying anything's wrong with it," Larxene said but it was clear that soon would follow a long list of ways to improve it.

Axel ushered Larxene to continue. Larxene took a taste of her glass smiling. "I just think that you should to something a bit more unusual. It would make you life changing decision as great as it is."

"Life changing?" Axel asked a bit sceptical and lifted an eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes. "You don't understand at all, do you? Has all this drinking finally dimmed your brilliant mind?"

"Yeah right. What can I do if this all," Axel gestured towards the almost alarming amount of emptied glasses on the table, "doesn't affect me at all?" He was quite proud of himself tonight. I felt like he was in control of the situation, a bit blurriness here and there, but words came easy and clear. She didn't fully agree, shaking her head amused.

"Let me explain this to you in a way you understand, okay?" Larxene suggested. Axel made no gesture to interrupt her. "You are now sure that this was the last time you did something as dull as this work. And this is a decision you will stick to, never to stray from the path you've chosen tonight. That is something I call important decision. Do you agree?"

"I guess?" Axel answered. The words were easy to understand and he knew Larxene was up to something, but he wasn't in the condition to guess out what and get it right.

"Well, that is settled then. We need to find some way to celebrate now. Is there something in the drunken mind of yours that you would want to do?" she asked.

"Like what?" Axel waited for her to tell the plan she surely had. He would disagree of course, but it would be interesting to hear what she had thought of. "What do you have in mind?"

Larxene smiled her pretty smile and offered her half-finished drink to him before answering. "I see a night full of options. And I see that you don't fully comprehend in which company you're in now," she waited for him to remark something, but when there was no answer, she continued ever as happy. "So, is there something you couldn't do before because of this work? Something you just wouldn't think of doing without my ever so helpful guidance?"

xXx

It was morning again, that much he was sure of. Axel felt the usual headache and even attempting to open his eyes send a surge of pain through his skull and suddenly staying in the bed seemed like ten times the better idea than getting up and going. He wasn't exactly sure if the headache was worse today than usual, and to be honest, it didn't matter that much. He buried his head to the pillows and hoped the headache would cease, even for a moment so he could get something to drink. And painkillers. To get some painkillers was a good plan.

Thank god it was a Saturday morning.

Memories of last night were a bit blurry, but what he remembered included only nice stuff, laughing, drinking, and enjoying his time. It was perfectly normal for him to feel a bit confused after an intense night of drinking and the memories were never there the first thing in the morning – day – evening – whenever time he woke up, but later on he could recall enough bits and pieces of the night to patch up the picture. Typically what returned first was some really random information - what colour the eyes of the girl he had flirted with had or some really stupid jokes cease the punch lines – but stuff like how he'd returned home followed soon enough.

After waiting a moment to get the pain to calm down – which meant a realization that it wouldn't do that without help of some painkillers - Axel cautiously opened his eyes; just a quick peek to make sure everything was as it should be. He sighed relieved. Nothing strange around him. He was home, he recognised his own pillow and to a lesser extent his own bed. The room looked like it should, everything was in their places and he was alone, not completely naked. This night had ended far more better than the one with Xigbar. Content with that quick glimpse he fell back to the somewhat restless sleep.

At some point of the day Axel's hunger, thirst and need to use the loo grew bigger than the drilling headache and he was capable to really open his eyes and drop his legs over the edge of the bed. It still took several minutes hissing at the light before he dragged himself across the room and closed the curtain. It didn't help too much: The clock was something long in the afternoon and closing one piece of curtains didn't prevent the rest of the apartment to bathe in light – very much to Axel's nuisance and increased headache.

He didn't walk too confidently, but managed to keep upright on his way through the living room. Steadying his going with the help of the walls he found himself quickly in front of the bathroom. The door open, lights on, quickly the pills from the tube on the shelf - that was the plan. Axel got the door open without problems, that was easy, and even the lights thanks to routine, but ended then stopping and cursing the brightness of the lightning. Eyes narrowed he started fumbling through the contest of the medicine box on the shelf dropping few items in his haste, but found the painkillers he'd been searching in the end.

Axel swallowed the pills and closed his eyes shortly, relieved that in a quarter of an hour he would find himself in a nice, numb feeling of calmness. No more headache, nausea- Okay, he knew that it wouldn't all go away, but anything was better than now.

Operation kill-the-brains behind him, Axel stood still, leaning to the sink eyes closed for a while. Keeping the head down helped a bit with the headache, but he knew he couldn't be standing there all day and therefore got up a bit too hastily and felt faint a moment before managed to still the world staring at the bathroom mirror. And he didn't stop staring even after the world stood still. Very still.

The first reaction was a mix of disbelief and horror. Why was his face all patched up? Had he ended in a fight and some bastard... no, his nose wasn't broken. Two white squares where plastered on his cheeks, on exactly the opposite sides of his face. It looked too... systematic to be the result of a fistfight. And that was the moment when Axel wished he could've made his brain stop making too accurate guesses.

Axel carefully tried to move one of the patches aside, but only to yelp in pain and leave it there. Whatever he had done to his face, it was still very painful. It was only after the painkiller kicked in that he managed to remove the white squares from his cheeks. And the nice, nub feeling of calmness never came.

Axel blinked. Blinked again. Axel blinked trice before he'd gotten over the initial shock and confirmed to himself that no, it was not just some random hallucination, nor was he drunk. He really had gotten his face tattooed last night. Two upside-down turned triangles painted permanently on his skin stared Axel back from the mirror and only one thought had place in his brains then. It wasn't the pain. It wasn't the question whatthehell. It was simply the answer to everything. Larxene. Would. Die. Very. Painfully.

This was bad, even by Larxene's standards. Even she wouldn't normally do something as permanent to someone as drunk as Axel had been last night, she didn't leave this permanent marks. She'd leave nightmares, she'd do whatever to get some way to blackmail someone, but these tattoos- Axel groaned and slid to the cold floor of the bathroom next to the sink.

His head was full of questions he knew he would never get the answers for. What the hell were they thinking when they had gotten the tattoos done? What could have possessed either of them to do something that idiotic? And who the fuck would tattoo someone as drunk as he had been? Weren't facial tattoos illegal to make? What had she tried to accomplice?

Axel hit the back of his head to the bathroom wall as he tried to lean back. He hardly felt the bump. Yeah, drinking was fun, all right, but the next day was pure hell. Axel and all of his friends had gotten their share of stupid and dangerous stuff done while so out they hadn't even remembered their name, but tattoos must've been the stupidest thing yet to come. Usually everything could be taken care of with a few band-aids, some money or an apology, but really, laser surgeries cost a fortune and he could never- Laser leaves a scar and frankly, tattoos are far better than scars on his face.

Axel groaned once again. What would he do? If he had gotten this drunk near Larxene of all people and gotten tattoos for it, there was no limit to what she could come up with the next time. Robbing the bank for some more money to buy some more booze, mug and kill someone? Everything sounded Larxene-like now. Only the sky was a limit anymore.

Getting something done to Axel's body without his conscious permission, something visible, something permanent, something he'd see every single time he looked at the mirror… The thought of losing control of his own body… That scared Axel. Even after his growth spurt, at the time when he didn't know the limitations of his body or forgot how tall he was, even at that time he had been at control of all of his actions. Maybe not perfectly, but he sure as hell hadn't lost control like this. His body had never done anything without his permission. Not until now.

Not until he had started drinking and clouding his senses, mind and judgement with a nerve tocsins in regular basis. After he had started hanging out with people that did it with him. Not until he had woken up on someone's floor without knowing where he was and what he had done for the first time. Never until the time he had someone to explain the past night to him in all of its glorious detail.

The idea of not knowing what your body would do, not knowing how much it took before it was enough to make him do something really life threatening and most likely without actually understanding the whole danger at all, that was scary. The knowledge that he could not trust even himself, not when he was under the influence was not just scary it was bone chillingly terrifying.

All of that because of something he had done for several years without even once stopping and actually thinking what he was doing and why. Without stopping and thinking the consciences of what he was doing. And how could he have? Everyone he knew was doing it too, it was a norm within his friends, why would he question the thing everyone did, one the few things they all did together, one of the only things made them all relate to each other, what made them equal?

Axel could almost hear his high school health education teacher laugh. Drinking kills you when you're still young, it destroys your liver, robs your social life and scares away everything you love, surely you know this already?

Just a small price to pay for all the fun he had, for all the friends he made when drinking... He had thought himself immortal, just like every teenaged boy did, but someone- How easily someone had been able to destroy that feeling, only by making him do something, only by marking his face for forever, without a question asked.

The bitch was getting out of the whole ordeal without anything on her and leaving Axel marked for the rest of his life. Axel stared at the wall opposite, not really seeing it. Larxene - She'd just get away with everything like always. She couldn't get away like that. She needed to get what was coming to her. She needed to be stopped.

He was going to call her.

Axel jumped up too fast and hit his head on the sink on the way up. On top of that the fast rising took blood from his brain and he almost collapsed on the floor due the pain in the bump and throbbing headache that he could still feel, even after all the painkillers he had consumed, not to mention the dizzy feeling.

He sat back down to the cold floor, carefully avoiding the sink and everything else he could hit himself on. Sitting on the floor wasn't such a good idea thought, because when he felt a pile rising in his throat he could barely make it to the toilet before he threw up. Calling Larxene would have to wait; he was in no shape to go anywhere and definitely in no shape to be let near any small electronic devices. If and when he'd have to forget explaining all this over the phone, that is.

After getting his upset stomach calm down Axel walked through his empty apartment leaving the lights on in the bathroom. The place was a mess, there were dirty clothes everywhere and he wasn't even sure where half of his dishes were. Everything was a mess, his whole life was a mess, just like his apartment and even his face now. He was a mess.

He was almost at the bedroom door when he stopped to stare at his computer. The Game was where he had met most of his friends that had affected his life both in good and in bad. The Game was the reason he had his easy and well enough paying job, but on the other hand it was also the reason why he was currently sick and confused about his life. And tattooed, he couldn't forget that fact.

Or maybe it wasn't the Game or his friends. Maybe it was just he and the way his brains reacted to alcohol. So getting rid of all the alcohol should get rid of the feeling that he had lost control of his own life and his own body. And the next thing he knew, he had taken all the beer in his fridge and poured it down the sewer. He had taken every single drop of liquor he had in his cabins, on the table, anywhere and flushed it down the toilet.

His bathroom was full of empty bottles but he didn't feel any better. Instead of a feeling of salvation he felt only emotionally drained and tired more than anything. So he crawled back to his bed and hoped that the light of the next morning would help him understand. And some part of him wished all of this was a nightmare.

He knew it wasn't.

xXx

"It's such a nice thought, only a few short days and then there's the exam week and few days of playing school and then the summer holiday!" Hayner smiled as he threw himself back on the grass. Roxas sat near him and tried to enjoy as the sunlight as much as possible, stretching his hands and yawning contently. Olette and Pence were still queuing for their ice-creams. "I am this close of skipping the training today," Hayner sighed and demonstrated the small amount he was talking about with his fingers.

"Yeah, kind of pity to go so soon. But have to get better! And won't do that if I just keep on lazing around," Roxas remarked and looked at his watch. "We still have half an hour to go."

Hayner had closed his eyes. "Yeah, I understand. But you, getting beaten by Sora… Ouch," he continued a sympathetic smile on his lips. Roxas snorted but Hayner was too caught in enjoying the sunlight to bother answering.

It was warm and it felt like holidays would start any minute now. Three days to the exam week. Three short days of real school and seven days of exams and then day to get the exams back and day to listen to the school choir was all that stood between them and the ultimate freedom of summer. Two months of holiday to spend any way Roxas saw fit. It felt good not to have any plans ready. He might just hang out with his friends, never doing anything special.

"Don't you dare to fall asleep on us now!" Olette's bright voice interrupted Roxas' daydreaming. He opened one eye, did his best to see the girl standing behind him. She smiled at him and handed over the ice-cream she had picked for Roxas. She placed her jacket carefully on the ground and sat on it. Pence joined her after giving one cone over to Hayner.

"So, what should we do today?" Pence asked after everybody had had their taste of today's flavour. Roxas shrugged. There wasn't too much time and most probably they'd just end staying where they were. There would be time to do anything they came up with, after the two short, short weeks. There would be no summer job, only a couple of practices before he'd have to continue without supervision for almost a whole month, nothing grand planed, no place to visit. A lovely, wide and unoccupied time ahead.

Olette was the one who took the responsibility to lay out the options for today. "I don't think we have any time to leave anywhere. Unless," and that was the moment when she turned to look at Hayner smiling prettily. "You two do the right decision and want to spend more time with us. It's such a lovely weather and everything."

Hayner laughed. "I have no problem with staying here, but you have to talk Roxas into the idea. He has, for some reason, decided that more practice is badly needed."

"Stop it, Hayner. I wasn't prepared then, okay?" Roxas pointed out, but wasn't really offended by the words. Nobody was forgetting the match with Sora anytime soon.

Riku had always been the one Roxas had been forced to look up to when it came to struggle. Riku might've even beaten the champion of the town if he thought participating in a competition was something he'd like to do. But he wasn't the only one struggling who thought that the game lost all its fun if there were referees watching that no rules were broken. Two players duelled against each other in a ring of variable shape and size, that was the basics of struggle, and in the tournaments the size was usually smaller creating a benefit for those who fought more with mere strength. That was at least how Roxas explained his bad success in beating Seifer.

Riku faced the same problem as he fought Sora, Roxas had drawn a conclusion. He was stronger than Sora, but it was no use as the opponent kept evading his hits. Sora was quick, annoyingly so. Roxas himself wasn't too slow either, but the match he had fought against his cousin had shown who was the fastest. Therefore, Roxas had proven everybody wrong and lost to the smiling and harmless looking boy. The match had been even, but after Sora managed to get a small lead, Roxas hadn't managed to catch him.

"Why does it feel odd to hear this from you? If I recall correctly, it was you who wanted to be the champion of the town. To beat Seifer," Roxas asked and managed to silence his friend.

"So, Roxas. What'll you two do?" Olette asked as the silence grew oppressing enough.

Roxas shook his head and heard the disappointed sounds. "Sorry, guys. Besides, we have all the time once the summer vacation begins."

"You're sure? But the sun does shine and everything," she continued hopefully, but saw that Roxas was unwavering today. This wasn't the first time the same question and the same answer had been given. "Sometimes I wish you two could relax a bit. It isn't like your whole life's just struggling, is it?"

Roxas just smiled apologising. He knew that he wasn't the only one who thought that ever so often the times he had to practice per week were over the top. Sure, it was the only way of getting better. He enjoyed struggling, the matches and moments of victory, but to achieve those he had to train hard and often. Once he'd manage to beat Seifer, it might be the end of this hobby. Roxas didn't want to quit completely, but he wanted to have more time with his friends and school. Hurrying to the sport hall every day, stuffing something to eat as quickly as possible into your mouth on the way, it grew tiresome after so many years.

"I will try my best and relax a bit next year, okay?" Roxas suggested.

Olette shook her head and giggled. "Silly. I didn't mean you to take it all that seriously."

"I really mean it," Roxas stated. "I've soon had enough, too."

Hayner had his share to say. "Roxas, what is this? Why would you suddenly want to quit? You gotten so good this year," he expressed his bewilderment. Struggling meant more to Hayner than it really did to Roxas. Roxas just needed a way to spend his energy whereas Hayner wanted his time in the spotlight. "You can't quit, do you hear me?"

Roxas laughed. "I said I'd take it easy. Drop a practice or two now and then. Nothing more drastic, don't worry."


	7. Things are getting desperate

Sora rushed in like he always did. "Roxas, are you here?" he yelled and Roxas wanted nothing more than to keep on playing, but he knew that Sora would go through every single room of the house to find him. Especially when he sounded as hyped up as he did at the moment.

"In my room." After a brief pause Roxas continued: "Come here, you're going to lose your voice if you keep yelling through the door."

He heard Sora's footsteps as he hurried trough the apartment. He slammed the door wide open and shut it again quietly after he saw Roxas grimace at the loud noise. "What are you doing?" Sora asked and sat on Roxas' bed. Roxas waved at the computer for an answer. Sora followed the hand with his gaze and smiled at the gesture. "The Game, of course. Should've known."

"What else would I be doing with the free time I get for not reading during the exam week?" Roxas smiled at Sora and for a moment they froze there. Roxas ignored the sounds coming out of his headphones, not worrying for his character. He was in a safe zone, his character waiting that Roxas had the time to turn his attention back to the magical world.

Sora's eyes lit up suddenly and it was clear that this would've been where a light bulb would be placed on top on his head in any cartoon. "Do you remember Riku's new job with Disney?"

Roxas nodded at the question. How could he forget? Disney was everywhere and Riku had not forgotten to show of the clothes he had managed to 'snatch' from the place he had visited the day he had to sign all the paperwork. Roxas had done his best not to associate Riku's face with everything that had Disney printed on it – he was wearing a shirt with the logo at the moment – and could only hope that the info Sora was about to share wouldn't make the job any harder.

"Um...His first gig is today! It's at the mall close by and it's just that, would you come with us, I mean Kairi and me, to cheer him on?" Sora said.

Of course the reason for Sora to be so overly excited had to be something Roxas would never be coaxed to. "Sorry, but no thank you. This world has lots and lots of more interesting things than seeing Riku show out some frilly clothes," Roxas answered and turned back to the computer, but Sora wasn't going to let him go so easy.

"It's the first time his on stage," Sora said. He tried not to sound overly persuasive, but was not succeeding. "I bet he's nervous and would use some encouragement," he kept insisting.

Roxas sighed but didn't turn back to him. "No. Besides, I don't think he needs nor wants me there. Especially not if he's nervous." Which he probably wasn't. Riku didn't seem to have any problem with self-confidence.

"Look, there are lots and lots of hot female models there! You could get someone's number or a date," Sora tried bribing, but Roxas chuckle and a quick, very much amused glance to his direction did the trick and he changed the tactic. "You wouldn't need to spend all this time alone if you came with us. Get some new friends maybe?"

Roxas was already tired of Sora's attempts to get him to come. He was actually far more annoyed and definitely more against going than he had been before Sora had even opened his mouth. "I like spending my time here, alone, with my computer. It doesn't talk back to me like people do. Like you right now." He gave a look that he hoped summarized his uninterested opinion.

"It's not healthy to spend all this time inside. You need to get fresh air," Sora said, and ignored the glare

Roxas shot him down instantly, without any real effort. "And how do you think I'd get 'fresh air'," He made quotation marks with his hands in the air. "At the mall? You know, inside a building?"

Now it was Sora's turn to roll his eyes. "We walk there, what else? It won't take more than twenty minutes and we'll get lots and lots of healthy exercise."

"I get enough healthy exercise in my struggle practises," Roxas snapped and turned finally from the computer. Couldn't Sora just understand that he needed his free time and he'd rather spend it with his, not Sora's friends?

This time it was Sora's turn to get angry. "You spend too much time on the computer!"

"It's the only way I can keep in touch with my online friends," Roxas said slowly but not any less angry.

Sora pouted. "But your real life friends need company too," he said obviously insulted.

Sora clearly needed some things to be explained to him. "Riku is not my friend," Roxas said.

Obviously that wasn't enough for Sora. "But why is that? I know that you didn't like his attitude when you met him for the first time and I admit, he was an arrogant asshole towards you but he's not that bad anymore,"

"Well hey, that's terrific. Why don't you go spend all your free time with him and leave me here?" Roxas tried to keep his anger at bay with sarcasm, but it wasn't going to last long. Next step would be flat out yelling.

Sora's voice was almost as angry as Roxas'. "Well that's because…" He had no change to rest his sentence before the doorbell ringing cut him off. He looked at Roxas one more time and left the room, slamming the door after him. Outside Roxas could hear how he greeted Kairi with only a trace of anger left in his voice. Roxas rolled his eyes, put the headphone on his ears and got back to the Game.

He couldn't keep it up for long until the door opened and someone stepped in. Roxas turned in his chair, ready to yell at Sora again, but stopped when he saw Kairi. She had her back on the closed door and her eyes on the floor. "Umm, hi?" Roxas didn't know what to say. What was she doing in his room?

"Sora sent me to coax you to come with us," she said. Roxas was just about to say something about how he wasn't coming, but she kept talking before he was able to say anything. "But I'm not going to make you. It's your own thing to decide if you want to come," Kairi said and looked at Roxas for the first time after she had come to the room. "But you should know that this is important to Sora. You are his family and we are his friends. He wants to keep his family and friends in good terms so could you please just pretend you don't hate Riku? It would make Sora happy."

Roxas just stared at her. What could he say to that without seeming like an emotionless jerk? "I don't hate Riku. I just don't like the way Sora thinks everything he wants to do is automatically better than what I want. It has nothing to do with Riku, that feud is long gone." Because he couldn't come up with anything else to say, he defended himself.

Kairi smirked at him. "What if we bribe you with some ice cream?" she said and her smirk melted to a real smile. "Please?"

Roxas was not willing to sell his ideas. Besides, he was not good enough friends with Riku to go through a fashion show just because of him. "I'm sorry, but I have stuff that needs to be done. I can't come as much as I'd like to," he said and didn't mean any of it. Anything to get everyone off his back.

"Okay, I understand. Like I said, it's none of our business what you do," she said. She wasn't smiling anymore. She left the room and in a few minutes Roxas could hear the door closing. They had finally left without him and he was free to keep on playing. An hour later he had forgotten the whole fight and everything Kairi had said.

xXx

It took almost a week before karma took her revenge. The sky was pouring down and Roxas was running with Naminé at his side along the street desperately seeking for shelter from the storm. There was little hope of finding a place before they would be completely soaked because the rain had surprised them while wandering in the suburbs. An underpass or a coffee house, whichever they'd cross first, was what they were now searching for.

There had been no clouds to warn them in the morning when the plans for the day had been made. Today was the last day of school and the first day of the summer holidays, a day worth celebrating. The plan had been a picnic in a nice park with a cute little pond not that far from where Roxas and Naminé found themselves now, but it was not worth thinking about the sunshine and ice-cream and talking about future till nightfall as those plans would have to be moved to another day. They kept running until a turn around the corner revealed the very welcomed sight of a sign with an ad for cheap coffee on it. It wasn't a large place, this coffee house, but a cosy one that advertised freshly backed pastries at its windows and had an old lady taking care of the job of the cashier. The bell fastened to the handle jingled as they entered.

"I never noticed the clouds gathering," Roxas laughed as he inspected how his clothes had survived the rain. Naminé looked at least as soaked and didn't enjoy the way her white dress clustered itself on her skin. The warmth of the place and the smell of the advertised pastries quickly brought a happy smile on both faces. Many of the customers looked like they were refugees from the rain just like the two, Roxas noticed this as he turned his attention to the environment. However, there seemed to be no empty tables.

"Is there still room for us two?" Roxas questioned as he glanced at the pouring rain outside and then back at Naminé. The thought going back to the rain didn't tempt him at all.

"There has to be a table," Naminé stated firmly and it didn't take long before she delighted pointed at a table that was easy to miss. It was the one furthest away, by the wall and almost behind the counter with the delicious pastries. "I'll go there and take care it stays empty. You bring us something to warm our hands with. Okay?" she ordered and smiled as Roxas nodded.

There was nobody queuing for food and Roxas managed to quickly order and get two mugs of hot chocolate. The large and steaming portions of hot chocolate covered with whipped cream were just what they needed to forget their misfortune with today's plans. Roxas returned to the table and gave one to the girl eagerly waiting for it, sat down and focused on enjoying the way the hot cup warmed his hands. Both Roxas and Naminé used a moment to sniff the lovely scent rising from the cups before even sighing from relief. It hadn't exactly been how they had planned on beginning their holidays, but it wasn't actually that unpleasant just to sit and relax while the storm continued its raving outside.

"Hey! That's my place," a voice informed suddenly behind Roxas' back. Roxas had been lost in his thoughts deeply enough not to realise someone had come so close to them. Judging from Naminé's expression so had she." Get away from there," the man standing now right at their table commanded semi-politely. He was holding a tray with a steaming mug and a slice of cake. Roxas went through several ways of telling the man that there had not been his name on the table before he even bothered to look up and realised who it was. It didn't look like it took Axel any longer to recognise a familiar face.

"Hi," Roxas greeted and Axel acknowledged the greeting with a short nod. But Roxas paid no real attention to the gesture, he was too busy staring at Axel's face. "What have you done to-" Roxas began, but was cut short by Naminé.

"Oh, we didn't realise... We are sorry, but there really was nobody sitting here," Naminé apologized and smiled prettily. "I don't think anyone will have a problem with sharing the table?" Like always, Naminé tried the easiest solution first. Usually it worked, but this time Roxas had his doubts that would happen.

It came as a surprise when Axel just shrugged. "Why not?" He placed his cup of tea on the table and sat down without greater ado. Roxas moved swiftly over to Naminé's side of the table and Naminé smiled pleased at him.

"It wasn't that hard to solve, right?" she pointed out pleased with herself. Roxas didn't show his surprise about how smoothly the situation was handled. Axel said nothing to either of them and concentrated on staring out of the window. The extra people on "his" table didn't bother him at all. Roxas, on the other hand, couldn't think of anything he and Naminé could speak about now that there was a third person listening. Anything Roxas and Naminé usually talked about probably wasn't all that interesting in Axel's opinion, but it felt still awkward to talk as normal when a stranger was present – semi-stranger. Naminé sensed the same and struggled a moment to find something to break the silence with.

"Awful weather," Naminé stated. It sounded stupid to Roxas' ear. It was a fact that nobody could have missed today and speaking about weather had always felt desperate and awkward. Still, Roxas found himself agreeing aloud and nodding to make his point even clearer. Axel glanced at them amused. He placed the cup he had been holding in his hands on the table and crossed his arms before asking them to continue with an urging nod.

Naminé wasn't prepared to the reaction and it was up to Roxas to get the conversation going. He looked at Axel to get a hint of what he wanted him to say. The redhead glanced at Naminé as to ask who the hell she was. It reminded Roxas annoyingly of mom's way of just expecting everything to be explained when she demanded it. Anyhow, there really was no reason to be impolite and Roxas had to admit he had been quite rude the last times he and Axel had met so this was kind of a way to show he did know how to be polite. His mother would be proud. "Naminé is a friend from school. And Naminé, this is Axel," Roxas gave the quickest introduction possible as he really didn't know what more there was to say. He might have explained how he kept bumping into Axel at the oddest occasions, but it really didn't seem worth mentioning.

Naminé was surprised when Roxas introduced them. "So you're Axel," she said after a short silence and Roxas looked at her surprised by the words. She smiled reassuring. "Roxas has mentioned your name, but has failed to tell anything more. So Axel, how do you two know each other?"

The wondering look on Axel's face disappeared and he smiled back. "We're neighbours," he explained and leaned comfortably back the steaming mug of tea back in his hands. "I live one floor down," he specified. He acted almost like the situation didn't annoy him at all. "So. You mentioned school," Axel pointed his words to Roxas. "You're in high school right?"

"Yeah," Roxas answered. "It's basically art-oriented."

Axel raised his eyebrows. "So you can paint?"

Roxas shook his head. "Don't tell Sora this, but I chose my school mostly because he's no there." he had no idea why he told Axel this. "Naminé on the other hand is really good. You should see some of her sketches."

Naminé blushed, but Axel settled for just a small "hmm" and sip of the tea. Talking about school wasn't probably high on the list of interesting conversations with someone like Axel. Adults didn't really care about a high school kid's daily life as far as Roxas knew. How old was Axel even? "You probably study something?" Roxas asked. He made the questions only to keep the conversation going, he didn't actually need to know what Axel made with his life.

Axel shook his head and didn't answer right away like he was thinking what to say. "Psychology, if it's any interesting. Probably should be writing my thesis project by now, but not really there yet," Axel said. "I got time though. The job at the bar is more of a priority right now."

"Didn't you work at the store now?" Roxas asked knowing that he had an unhealthy interest in Axel's working history. "I don't think cashiers get paid any better... It isn't because of money?"

Axel didn't answer and Naminé who had listened to the exchange of words closely without a chance to interfere before now gladly used the break. "Roxas, I wouldn't like to be a burden..." she begun and Roxas knew right away what to expect.

"You want me to get you some more hot chocolate?"

She smiled. "Yes, that's it. And bring some of those pastries too." Roxas didn't find it necessary to decline and left to fulfil her wish. When he returned he found Naminé explaining their day in more detail. It didn't bother him to let Axel hear about it, it had been an ordinary day with a dull but happily a short ceremony at the beginning and then some ice-cream and then the rain. Naminé seemed to enjoy herself and Axel politely listened her explanation on how they had searched for a place to warm themselves up. Roxas returned to the table and gave the ordered items to the girl and concentrated then in taking small draughts from his hot chocolate and let her take care of the talking.

When Naminé finally quieted, Roxas got the opportunity to ask the question he had wanted to ask from the beginning of the conversation. "When did you do that to your face?" Axel knew right away what he was talking about and so did Naminé.

"These?" Axel asked and pointed at his cheeks. "Do you like them?"

"They are unique," Naminé tried carefully.

"Interesting," Roxas said. "Is there a story behind them?"

"I take that as a compliment," Axel grinned.

"I thought that cashiers weren't allowed to have facial tattoos," Roxas wondered.

"I'm a cashier no more," Axel declared and put an end to the wondering. He didn't look like he enjoyed been reminded about the job and Roxas knew to stop asking questions without Naminé giving a hinting look. "I quit there and these are to honour that," Axel explained and sounded proud though Roxas found the reason for the tattoos odd.

"How did you dare to do something like that?" Naminé asked. "Those won't go anywhere. What if you'd like to work again in a place where tattoos a not allowed?" she worried.

Axel shook his head and grinned. "I don't think I will ever be in a situation like that again. That is half of the promise behind these marks. If I can't work in a boring place because of them, I'm not meant to work there."

"That's some bravery you need to decide something like that," Naminé admired.

Or stupidity. Roxas hid his face behind the mug as if the thought could be seen from his face. "So, if you quit your job there and you have 'problems' at the bar, what do you do now?"

"Work at Tifa's like usually," Axel said and that was the end of that conversation.

Roxas was confused. "But you said... I thought you meant that you quit your work there?" Naminé seemed to have lost all interest in trying to follow the conversation. She knew nothing about what they were talking about and there were no explanations coming, that was for sure. She started poking at the food Roxas had brought here, lemon coloured cake that smelled nice.

Axel laughed at Roxas bewilderment. "She tried to kick me out of there, that is the original story put short," he was nice enough to explain. "But she needed my help and hired me again pretty quickly. The job at the supermarket was just a sad error of a poor student. No need to talk about that piece of history anymore. Let the memory rest in peace. Do you follow my working history now?"

Roxas nodded and tried to hide his embarrassment. He'd been too noisy and Axel wasn't being exactly subtle about pointing that out.

xXx

There was only as much as reassuring yourself could do. Axel knew right from the start that this was a doomed idea and everything would end up in a disaster, but it was train-wreck-syndrome all over. Axel was aching for the old company and he just couldn't stop trying. He had invited Xigbar for a cup of coffee last Sunday, and even though they had indeed met over a cup of coffee, nothing had changed. Axel was as isolated from the clan as ever. Xigbar hadn't really taken well into the new environment, and the truth to be said, neither had Axel. Neither had said it aloud, but it was no question.

Today was a desperate Thursday, an evening of a sunny day, and a day when Axel felt more alone than in a long while. And against all odds, Axel had decided that a second try might change things. He kept telling himself that there was always the opportunity that chancing a minor detail would make all the difference.

This wasn't the same place they had met last time. The small coffee house Axel had chosen on the spot, talking on the phone, afraid that he'd soon be caught of a stupid lie, had proven to be a nice enough location for a group accustomed for quiet living out in the suburbs, but not for Xigbar and Axel. The coffee house was tiny and cute, almost homey, and none of this was what Xigbar had been expecting or wanting. So Axel had made some changes for that. This time he had chosen one at the centre of the city, near the nightlife and people. This place was more of a popular one, had paintings of light stripes and neon coloured tables, furniture that screamed design to you – cheap design. This place, "name", pretended to be a bar, that was obvious, and there were college students everywhere and a couple of high school kids playing to be adults among them, trying to blend in. It was clear that Xigbar felt more like home immediately after stepping in through the glass doors.

The second thing that Axel had decided to change was the timing. It was no morning now. The sun had started already to set, it shone pale nearer the horizon than the midday mark up in the skies. Streetlights were already lighted though it wasn't dark enough outside that their blue colour could have been seen. It was a nice summery evening, warm and fuzzy, with people passing behind the slightly darkened windows without rush.

"I don't get this," Xigbar stated right out loud. They had collected the first cups coffee for the night and chosen a table with dark, leathery couches to sit on next to it. Xigbar was already glancing around, suspicious of the situation.

"Go on," Axel ushered and pretended that he wasn't nervous about the evening at all. He sprawled as best as he could on the couch he had conquered and kept his hand stretched out to the mug, moving the spoon slowly, mixing the generous amounts of sugar in. Xigbar's coffee stood unmoved, he liked it black evidently, while the man himself kept his hands on the armrest.

"What happened to you?" Xigbar asked and didn't care that these same questions had already been asked.

"Nothing. I just realized that I enjoy the smell, the taste of coffee. The mood here. It's not what the bars have to offer. This place even gives you opportunity to laugh at the kids trying to blend among the professionals," Axel said self-assured, guided Xigbar to peek over to his left where two uncertain kids leaned to the counter, looking over the crowd, trying to copy from too many, many movies.

"And when did you have any interest in high schoolers? They're boring, predictable," Xigbar stated and gave Axel a stern look. Axel sifted his focus back to his friend and tried to hide behind a grin. Yeah, he didn't care if some kids made fools of themselves. Xigbar took one small sip from his coffee, but never let Axel out of his sight. He kept looking at the redhead, not angry, not expecting anything specific, just waiting for...something.

Axel shrugged, not knowing really why, and allowed himself to relax. Shit, he was just ruining everything with his nervousness before anything at all had happened. "Quite a lot like a bar, this place," Axel tried coax Xigbar into talking.

"A poor try," Xigbar answered nonchalantly. He looked at the place, shook his head. "It's missing the sounds. The right people."

Axel only murmured something agreeing and was almost ready to give up. They never used to have these problems. "What do we usually talk about?"

"I don't know. The Game? Your miserable life?" Xigbar suggested and for a moment it looked like this had been the spark needed to light up the conversation. "The Roxas kiddo has been a good addition to the clan."

"Old news," Axel laughed. "But he had a good timing. I think the developers of the Game have finally found their inspiration again. The quest for the dragon? I'll swear that's the record for surprise-attacks in a single plot."

Xigbar smirked, but had nothing to really add to the conversation. Axel allowed him the time he needed, occupying himself with the latte he had ordered, licking the whipped cream that got lost on his lips. Xigbar shook his head at the sigh, maybe amused, and glanced down at the still steaming mug of coffee resting right in front of him. "Can't remember you being really a coffee drinker," he remarked.

"Yeah, it's not an old habit. Things happened and... changed," Axel stated at first strong, but losing a bits of the self-assurance once he realised he had nothing to say. No joke prepared, nothing witty, no punch lines waiting. He didn't feel like this was going anywhere. Why was it that it had been easier before? What had changed so much that there was really nothing to say?

"Care to tell details?"

"Sure," Axel nodded after a moment's hesitation. He wanted to tell a story, but the problem was that he had not yet come up with the right way to tell it. He usually had many tales of his adventures thought through when he entered the bars; His exaggerated life was good for keeping the audience enthralled and paying his drinks. A Drinker Turned into a Coffee Addict, that's not a title you sell easily.

Xigbar didn't complain about the pause, but Axel couldn't ignore its existence. Everything was always about timing. "I need more coffee first," Axel sighed.

"Axel, you've half of yours still unfinished."

"Oh." Shit. Really keeping this under control.

"It's soon seven o'clock. We could go and find a real place. Get something to get your mind working," Xigbar advised and something a mix of a smile and a grin flashed on his face. "You seem like a mess of nerves right now."

"And when did you turn into my personal shrink? Booze for every prescription?" Axel laughed.

"You can't deny its effectiveness."

"Thanks, but no thanks. I need to be in working condition tomorrow morning. And I didn't plan a night out drinking," Axel declined.

"Your loss," Xigbar stated and didn't pursue the thought any longer. "So are you getting to the story or not?"

"About me and Coffee?"

"Rather about you and the chick with boobs."

"Tifa? Shit, Xigbar. She's nothing I'd be interested in. And she's taken."

"And that has meant something for the Casanova before? We just came up with this theory with Saïx about your strange behaviour. She's the only one I've ever heard has almost managed to keep you in a leash."

"Tifa?" Axel laughed genuinely for the first time during the night. "She's mad about Cloud and there's no way I'd get between. She's has no control what so ever over me. Poor Saïx. He's lost it for good."


	8. Stand in the line like the rest of us

The downside of not having mom there to watch over them was easily visible. It was nowhere close to the chaos that it had been after the first month of just the two of them, but both of them – though Sora more guilty of it – left something they should've done to a later date.

Evening meals didn't miraculously wander to the table, the fridge miraculously emptied, the laundry pile doubled in size in the dark - a month in this magic world and they'd come to a mutual agreement of writing down a list that they'd stick to. The agreement they had come up with was simple: dinner every other day was Roxas' responsibility and Sora should do the dishes.

Today was Sora's turn to take care of the food. Unlike a normal every other day, Sora had actually decided to make the food himself instead of ordering takeout or outsourcing it to Kairi. So it was no wonder that Roxas was a little reluctant about sitting down at the table and trying out the something Sora insisted on calling curry rice.

Roxas stared at his plate, glared at the suspicious-looking dish and poked it once in a while with his fork. Sora was eating it with good apatite already, but Roxas wasn't feeling that hungry. He harboured hopes that Sora would finish quickly, leave to his room and allow Roxas to throw the mess away. He could make something else for himself once Sora wasn't looking.

It was in the middle of one of the awkward silences that the doorbell rang and Roxas jumped up hastily, thanking some higher being from saving him from Sora's cooking. "I'll go," Roxas said. He hurried through the apartment and jumped over the shoes not-exactly-neatly-in-the-shoe-rack. He expected to see some of Sora's friends – prone to visit without warning – but was wrong this time. It was Cloud waiting behind the doors, hands stuffed into the pockets of his grey hoodie.

"Hiya," Cloud said and walked in without giving Roxas the change to answer the greeting. "Hey Sora, are you home?" Cloud asked rising his voice when he had gotten to the living room. In a nanosecond Sora was next to him, smiling brightly.

"Cloud! What are you doing here? Do you want some vegetable curry?" Sora asked everything in one breath without leaving time for Cloud to answer. "I made it all by myself. It's still warm and waiting at the table."

Roxas made a throat cutting gesture behind Sora to signal Cloud that the food was not safe, and Cloud reacted accordingly. "Curry sounds good, but I'm not hungry right now. Maybe some other time?" he said and looked at Roxas to verify if the answer had been appropriate. Roxas shook his head. "Alright, maybe I should try. But only a little. I'm really not hungry," Cloud said.

Sora didn't notice his reluctance or, if he did, chose to ignore it. "I'll get you a plate," he said smiling brightly and walked to the kitchen. Roxas mouthed "Sorry" to Cloud and followed Sora. Sora had already set the table for a third diner, complete with the napkin and glass of orange juice and Roxas didn't have any idea how he had managed to do all that in the little while he and Cloud spent in the hallway, but let it slide. At least he wasn't suffering alone anymore.

Sora returned to his half eaten plate and started shovelling the food into his mouth while Roxas and Cloud just poked at their food. After a while Cloud decided that the sooner he ate it the sooner it would be over and took a bite.

Roxas saw the surprise on Cloud's face and decided to try his own serving. He was just as stunned by the quality of the food as Cloud. Sora was known for making inedible food and this time he had done something that was not just edible but almost delicious. It was enough to stun both of the brothers for a while.

"Do you like it?" Sora asked and woke both of the blonds from their awe. "It's one of Kairi's recipes. She taught me how to cook it properly," he said and suddenly everything made so much more sense. Kairi must have showed how the magic of cooking worked in simple and easy to grasp steps and somehow it had worked. Sora's food was more foodlike than it had ever been.

After the mysteries of Sora's cooking skills had been revealed, Roxas was free to ask the one question they hadn't yet gotten an answer to. "So, why are you here?" he asked Cloud, mouth still full of food.

"Didn't I already tell you that?" Cloud wondered and when both of the younger boys just shook their heads, Cloud put his fork and knife down. "You remember how someone destroyed my bike?" he asked and Roxas could do nothing but laugh. Of course he remembered, what when Cloud had complied about it for several weeks without an end.

Cloud just ignored Roxas' laughter. "Well, I instantly sent the bike to my trusted mechanic. And clearly I'm not the only one who likes him. Cid has been busy up until now," Cloud explained.

"What does that have to do with you appearing here?" Sora asked, halfway into his second serving of the food. "Not that have anything against a surprise visit and I'm sure that Roxas feels the same," he hurried to add.

Fortunately Cloud was used to all of that. "Oh, I know what you mean by that. You are not able to live without me by your side. Every night you wake up and think of how you manage to survive without me. I know, don't worry," Cloud said keeping a straight face.

Sora tried to give his two cents about the matter. "I, on the other hand am not capable of... um-" that was as far as he got before he started laughing. Both Roxas and Cloud joined him and they shared a good laughter there, sitting by the kitchen table.

"So you took your bike to Cid's?" Roxas said once they had all quieted again, still a little out of breath after all the laughing. "Isn't that just around the corner?"

"Yep, that's exactly why I'm here," Cloud answered.

Sora reached over the pick up the plates. "I thought you might finally tell us more about, you know. What happened," Sora said, still all innocent smiles.

Cloud just rolled his eyes. "Can't we let it pass already? There's nothing you haven't already heard of. Unless you want some dirty details," he answered upping the teasing sound in his voice by a few steps.

Roxas was fast to catch the bait. "Why of course, if you have enough time, that is," he said and wiggled his eyebrows at his brother.

Cloud was fast to sober out. "Oh shit, the time!" he yelled and jumped up from his chair. "It has been really fun with you two, but I need to fetch my dearest from the salon."

And with those words he jumped to his shoes and hurried out of the door, without forgetting to say his goodbyes, of course. Roxas and Sora were left to clean the table and do the dishes. "Sometimes I think he does it on purpose," Roxas sighed while he helped Sora to clean the table.

"What now?" Sora said and Roxas rolled his eyes at the question.

"Comes here, eats and leaves before everything needs to be cleaned out."

xXx

Axel hated the swarm of people on the street. Usually, the streets were nice and quiet at this hour, normal hardworking people occupied with work. Axel enjoyed the quiet times; it was the time he usually tried to do all the grocery shopping. Today, though, Axel had made the mistake forgetting the effects of a nice hot breeze and the beginning of the holidays. Everywhere he looked there was either a group of kids laughing and giggling and being annoyingly loud or people carrying overflowing shopping bags.

The store that Axel was heading to stood nice and quiet on the other side of the plaza. This wasn't the store closest to home, but he preferred this little journey to doubling the price – high prices where an unfortunate detail of small corner stores like the one he lived next to.

There were people sitting at the fountain in the middle and every bench beneath the trees planted around the plaza was occupied. That wasn't the problem. People sitting down were easy to avoid; people wandering through the place in large herds were the problem. Axel couldn't stop bumping into someone with almost every step. As he slowly made his way over the stone paving, he heard music he'd never heard before.

It was actually quite enchanting in its awfulness. Few of the notes hit the pitch and it was clear that this guy just couldn't be serious. People had gathered around the musician blocking Axels view and he found himself curious enough to wander a bit closer. He admired the bravery of performing this badly and wanted to see if this was a show that paid off. The amount of the crowd looked actually quite promising. People gave him way easily, and Axel made into the front row in matter of seconds. Axel didn't need more than a quick look at the musician to know he'd have to get away quickly. Sadly, the musician noticed Axel before he had the time to flee from sight.

The music stopped. "Axel!" the musician acknowledged him delighted and made Axel grin to hide how annoyed he was. The crowd around the two scattered quickly as the entertainment got interrupted.

"Hi, Demyx," Axel greeted. "Why are you sitting here playing your...guitar? And what have you done to the poor thing?" Axel asked even though the fate of the dying guitar was none of his worries.

"Oh, you mean the colour? I thought it would be more unique painted in blue. Don't you think so?" Demyx asked smiling. He moved the loose strays of hair, ones that had wandered stray, out of the way.

Axel couldn't disagree. "It's one of its kind, that's for sure," he said. "Why are you playing here, on the street? I didn't think you were the type of person who wanted to attract attention. Got kicked out again?"

"Nah, day off. I'm surprised, Axel. Why do you think I don't like being in the spotlight? My character in The Game is not a dancer without a reason. I like to entertain. And that's what I'm doing here right now. I'm also earning money, of course. People seem to like to listen me sing," Demyx explained and patted his blue guitar. "What did you think?"

"What do I think about what?" Axel wanted to avoid answering to the question he knew was coming, but was there a way not to?

Demyx sighed. "My singing? What else could I be speaking about?"

Axel was silent for as long as he could without seeming suspicious. He ended up making the most nonchalant voice he could muster and shrugged. "So singing is your thing, eh?" he asked simply to move on.

There was some bewilderment in Demyx's expression. "What does you shrugging mean?"

Axel knew he wasn't going to get a chance to run away without answering the question. He also knew that Demyx would turn this into an argument that would go on for forever if he gave the wrong answer – which he would. Axel didn't like lying, and he definitely disliked false compliments. This wasn't really a question of life and death. Demyx was easy to forgive. Axel quickly looked around and then tried to be as gentle as possible. "I don't know. I thought it was some sort of comedy."

"And why would I do that?" Demyx asked, no surprise there, offended by the words.

"Hey, it's not me who throws you the money. You had a crowd here just now; theirs is the opinion that matters," Axel explained and looked carefully into the guitar case Demyx was collecting the money in. It looked empty, but with second look he could pick up a few cents lying almost invisible in the shadows.

"Okay, that's something you're right about. I need to ask somebody who doesn't know me," Demyx said and looked around in search for the victim. "You are biased. Or you are trying to be funny."

Axel searched his cell phone and looked at the clock. He had still time, lots of it, before his shift at the bar began. But Demyx didn't know that and Axel just might feel like a small lie wouldn't hurt right now. However, that was before Demyx found his victim.

"Hey! You there. Spare a coin for the talented musician. I'll cheer up your day with any piece of music you'd like to request," Demyx waved his hands inviting somebody from the passing crowd nearer. Axel turned around to see how his friend would get rejected. It took him a short moment to locate the boy whose attention Demyx had managed to catch. The boy recognized Axel immediately.

"Axel?"

Demyx turned to look at Axel. "You know this boy?"

Axel nodded and greeted Roxas. This was unexpected. "This is Roxas, an acquaintance of mine. Demyx, one of my friends," Axel introduced the two to each other.

"Nice to meet you," Demyx greeted and smiled broadly. "You haven't heard me sign, have you? Axel just proclaimed he isn't a judge objective enough to give me criticism. So you'll help us out, right? Roxas?" he hurried to ask before Roxas had had the time to even greet properly.

"You want to hear what I think of your singing?" Roxas asked a bit on the alert.

"Yes, that's it. Nothing more complicated," Demyx reassured.

"Okay... I guess there is a reason not to," Roxas agreed. "I mean, I'm not really a good critic so it's only my opinion, but..."

"Don't worry about offending me. Just say what comes to your mind," Demyx laughed at Roxas' discomfort. Axel watched him wait for Roxas to relax a little before he placed his fingers on the strings and began to sing.

Roxas looked at Axel to see if this guy was for real and he nodded and smiled apologising. Demyx played the short piece of music to the end, not seeing the small exchange of expression because he kept his eyes closed while playing. When there was nothing to sing anymore, he leaned over his guitar and looked at Roxas eagerly waiting for the praises.

Roxas looked more than a bit bewildered. "It was awful," he stated.

Demyx tried to smile away his surprise, but couldn't actually dismiss the words completely. Roxas waited for any reaction, but after none came, he looked once more at Axel for some advice. Axel shrugged; he really didn't feel like getting involved in this. Demyx recovered from his shock just in time to stop Roxas from escaping. "Wait, please explain. Awful?"

There was a sigh. "Horrible, terrible, dreadful and bad," Roxas made his point clearer.

"Pain to the ears?" Axel suggested and to his luck, Demyx dismissed him completely. Axel looked at the time quickly, waiting Demyx to get over the shock again. He should get going, there was only trouble waiting for him right here and at the same time he didn't want to miss this.

Demyx glanced at Axel to get some sort of encouraging, but Axel tried to stay as expressionless as he could. "Are you sure?" Demyx asked from the boy who really didn't care to try and smooth the words he had already chosen.

"I am sure. You can neither sing nor play. Now, if that was the only question you wanted me to answer, I'm going." Roxas waived his goodbyes to Axel and started walking to the direction Axel had planned to wander off before he encountered Demyx.

"Axel, do you agree with him?" Demyx asked once Roxas had turned his back.

Praising Demyx was counterproductive, really. Demyx wasn't stupid. He'd already been forced out of his cloud castle; Axel trying to soothe the wounds would most likely just be more salt to them. "I'm afraid he's right, Demyx. And I have to go now, so…" Axel said and was polite enough to wait for Demyx to grasp the meaning of the words.

"You didn't mention you were in a hurry," Demyx smiled now and acted all cheerful. If it was a forced smile, and most likely was, he really knew how to make his defeat disappear from his gestures. "I'll see you in the Game tomorrow, right?" Demyx asked.

Axel smiled. Argument averted. "Is there a shadow of a doubt that I'll show up?" Demyx laughed and Axel turned to leave.

"Hey, Axel. Wait! I almost forgot," Demyx confessed ashamed. "Will you be joining us when we go out drinking this Friday? You haven't answered the mail I sent and I was wondering if there were some problems with it. You do know we're having a meeting?" he continued.

Axel nodded. "Yeah, I guess I've been too busy to answer. I'll… I'll try and to make it then? Really, I don't know right now." Demyx was satisfied with the response and Axel managed to escape. Demyx turned to collect the few coins he had received and Axel hurried out of his sight.

Maybe he really didn't have a problem with lying, but getting it was the getting caught part that he hated.

He arrived to the crossing that separated him from the street where the grocery store waited him. The lights shone red and to Axel's surprise, Roxas stood there too, waiting for them to change.

"Uhm…Thanks," Axel muttered as Roxas turned to look at the sudden familiar face. "I really appreciated that you spared me the trouble of telling the truth. Demyx… Well, I think you got a pretty good picture of him yourself."

The lights turned green. "I'm glad I could be of help?" Roxas suggested as they walked over the street. They said their goodbyes and continued to their own directions.

xXx

The atmosphere in the Seventh Heaven had gotten worse day by day ever since Cloud had walked out of the bar. He and Tifa had not exchanged a word after that and that could be seen from Tifa's growing discomfort towards everything. It could also be heard from her every time there were no customers in the bar.

Or at least Axel could hear it. He happened to be there when Tifa rambled the most. She didn't want to scare any of the paying customers away, but she didn't care if she happened to scare Axel away. Maybe she thought that he needed the money that bad. Either way she did nothing but talk about Cloud every time the bar was empty save from Axel. Axel hoped she hadn't become desperate enough to ramble to an empty bar.

After listening to her talk about Cloud for the past two months, Axel was gradually getting more and more feed up by it. Tifa started talking about Cloud when Axel came to work, stopped the second the bell above the door chimed and started again when the last customer of the day left, as if it hadn't been hours since she spoke of it last time.

The first few days had been fun for Axel, he had been able to hear Tifa bash Cloud and tell little embarrassing snippets about his childhood. It had stopped being interesting after She had started talking about a girl Axel didn't know and gone downhill from then. After that she had just repeated the same things over and over like a broken record. Taking that into consideration Axel had been more patient with her than he had been with anything before.

But the fiftieth time hearing about "How could she do this to me?" and "I used to like her, she was my friend." made Axel finally snap.

"Why won't you just talk to her and get this whole thing off your chest? I'm getting dead tired of hearing about your relationships – no, relationships gone wrong," he said one morning that had begun like every other for too long. "You could just tell her off or something," he said and trailed off when he saw Tifa. She was angrier than Axel had ever seen her. And that was pretty much, considering she had already fired him once.

Her eyes were almost blazing when she started to speak. "Do you really think I haven't thought about that, at least ten million times over? Do you really think that I'm stupid enough not to realise myself how unhealthy this is to me, talking and thinking of those two all the fucking time?" She stopped to take deep breath. Axel thought that she had stopped and was about to tell her that firing him was not the wisest decision, but she hadn't stopped yet. "Yeah I have thought about it, I have walked to the bus, but I still don't know what to say."

She took another deep breath and sat down. "Let's not just talk about this, okay? I know you think this is annoying and that I'm just a pathetic girl with problems, but talking to you has been the only thing that has kept me sane for the last weeks," she said. Axel would never admit it to anyone, but for a moment he felt bad for her. She was killing herself over him and worst of all, she was well aware of what she was doing.

"Okay, I don't mention it again," he said and got ready for another set of complains or profound self-awareness. But neither of them ever came.

Instead, she just said, "Yeah, let's leave it to this." The rest of the day and the whole evening went in silence. Tifa seemed more melancholic than she had been in as long as Axel could remember.

xXx

The only thing Axel found in the bar next morning was a note telling him where Tifa had gone to. Not to mention the blessed silence. It was the best day at work in a really long time.

xXx

Tifa sat in the bus and thought for the umpteenth time if going to see her was actually such a good idea. Still, it was the only thing that could be done. Basically, she didn't have any other options.

Even though the trip to the other side of the town took well over an hour, for her it felt like so much less. She had been thinking about what to say, what to do and most importantly, how Aerith would react to everything that Tifa did.

As tempting as it was, Tifa could not just pour every bit of frustration she had felt for god knows how long to one freeing punch. Violence was never the answer to anything, especially not to relationship-problems that could be solved with talking. Hitting the person you're supposed to have a serious, life-changing conversation with would take away every bit of credibility that you ever had.

Even when Tifa jumped off the bus, even when she was walking the last hundred of meters to Aerith's house she still didn't have any idea of what to say. There was no way of making her see except telling her how she felt.

At Aerith's house she took a deep breath. It was her last change to walk away. After she'd ring the doorbell it would start, without a ghost of a change of stopping it.

She still rang it.

In a few seconds nothing happened and Tifa almost started to think walking away and coming back another day, but then the door suddenly slammed open. The sight of a smiling Aerith greeted Tifa. "Why hello, haven't seen you in a while," Aerith said and took a step backwards. "Please, do come in."

Tifa followed Aerith to the living room decorated with pastel colours. Aerith signed Tifa to sit down to a pink sofa. "Would you like to have some tea or coffee?" Aerith asked and Tifa just nodded.

"Tea sounds fine," she said.

Aerith disappeared to the kitchen and soon homely sounds could be heard. Tifa resisted the urge to bite her fingernails and looked around the living room. The walls were papered with wallpaper full of flowers and the walls were decorated with pictures of family members. Everything was shining clean and all the vases were full of freshly picked flowers. In other words, it was nothing like the Seventh Heaven where Tifa was supposed to be at the moment.

She was just about to start thinking of Axel and how he was doing, but Aerith came to the living room carrying a tray that was holding two cups, teapot and a holder for lump sugar. "Oh, let me help you with those," Tifa said and jumped from her seat.

"There's no need to," Aerith answered. "Just sit down, you are my quest. Now, if I recall correctly you drink your tea with sugar but no milk." She smiled and gave one of the tea mugs to Tifa, who in return thanked.

For the next few minutes both of the girls drank their tea in silence, Tifa a little warily. She still, at this point, had no idea what she was going to say. The silence was driving her crazy. She had do something before she'd just blurt everything she had in her mind out. "So..." she said, "You probably wonder why I'm here."

Aerith nodded.

Tifa put her half-drunk tea to the counter before she continued. "It's about Cloud," she started.

"I actually thought so," Aerith said and Tifa raised her eyebrows. How could she have known? But she said nothing out loud and after a moment Aerith explained her notion. "I mean, it has been about two years since we last saw each other. You wouldn't just appear at my doorstep without informing me beforehand if there wasn't something else in all this."

Tifa smiled apolitically. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that. The bar has taken almost all my time and when I'm not there I'm just too tired to take care of my social life. I do feel bad that our first meeting after all this time has to be like this."

"Oh, don't worry. I've had my hands full with my flower shop, otherwise I would've paid you a visit," Aerith assured her. Another silence fell between the two, but this time it wasn't as unbearable as the first time. Tifa took a hold of her already cooled of tea mug and poured some more tea. Still, nothing had actually been said so Tifa had to take the lead once more.

"I still didn't say what I'm here for," she said and Aerith made a humming sound to signal that she had heard. "Like you guessed, it'd about Cloud." This was the hard part. She needed to break it down to Aerith so that she would get the importance of the matter across without hurting her feelings. She took a deep breath and smirked who knew just talking to her would be so hard?

Aerith just took a sip from her tea. "Take all the time you need, hun," she said.

"Okay, here we go. I heard from Cloud that... you know," Tifa needed to say it, needed to get it out of her system. "Are having sex." There. She said it. Now it was out and suddenly everything seemed so much brighter. She had taken the first step and from that point on everything would just roll with its own weight.

"Yes, you've heard correctly," Aerith said. "May I ask who did you hear it?" She appeared to be as calm as when Tifa had first stepped in from the front door.

Tifa was more than happy that Aerith hadn't lashed out on her. Everything was going more than well, not any of the scenarios she had been so afraid of had happened. "Cloud, actually," she answered. "But it was more like an accident, something he wasn't supposed to tell me," he hurried to add.

Aerith smiled and calmly mixed her tea. "I figured that much. So, the next question would be: What is it for you?" She made a face of discomfort. "That sounded so unfriendly. What I mean is that... Well just... why?" She looked down to her tea and Tifa felt sorry for her. It was so hard to ask something like that without sounding rude.

But now it was time for the one thing left she had difficulty of saying, especially to Aerith. It was also the only thing she had no idea how Aerith would react. "Well the thing is... It's that I'm kinda interested in him myself," she stated plainly and made face and looked everywhere but to Aerith's face. "I mean, he's the most important person in my life and... I think I might even love him." She finally turned he eyes towards Aerith's face. "But I wouldn't feel comfortable with stealing your boyfriend." Now everything that could be said had been said and the weight of the matter came back down to Tifa's shoulder's ten times worse than it had been a day before.

It was actually the first time Tifa properly understood why she had been so angry at Aerith, why the matter hadn't left him alone in so long time. It was the conflict of friendship versus love. She felt so much at ease with Aerith around and there was nothing they couldn't share. Aerith was her friend and now that they were together she remembered why. But now work and a man had come between them and they were no longer the friends they once were. Still, it was not too late to go back to where they once were. They'd just need to sort everything out and see each other more often. It was all up to how Aerith would react to the revelation.

Aerith seemed nervous, more so than Tifa had ever seen her. "Wow, I don't know what to say," she mumbled and looked down to her mug. "What I mean is that..." Her voice trailed away. "Is that... It's great." She visibly seemed to struggle with her words. "You have someone in your life, someone to make you happy." She made a little sound, almost like a laughter. "But I'm in the way, aren't I?"

Tifa was starting to relax more and more after every one of Aerith's words. She was not going to get mad at her and jump to her throat. But neither one of them knew what to say. One at the time they had both thought everything that could be said over and over without finding anything that didn't sound rude or held meanings that weren't supposed to be there.

And now it was Aerith's turn and there was nothing Tifa could do to help her find the right words. A silence was stretching between them as Aerith thought and Tifa just waited. Finally it seemed that Aerith had found the right way of saying what was needed.

"Okay, here we go," Aerith said as if to gather more courage. "What me and Cloud had was just... Well, you remember when Zack died?" she asked and Tifa nodded. It was hard not to remember. Even though she had not known Zack more than as a friend of Cloud's, she had seen what his death had done to Cloud. It was not something she liked to think about.

Aerith sighed and continued. "Well... At the time I was actually dating Zack. So it was a huge shock when he..." her voice trailed off, but both of the women knew what she meant. "And when I heard that his little friend, the one I had seen with you, the one who was there when the car hit them, was in the hospital... I went to see him. I don't know why, but somehow I needed to see the one who was there when it happened." Aerith looked nervously at Tifa. "It was hard for the both of us, but when we were with each other we could vent and... Well, what we had was just something to get our heads out of what happened."

Tifa didn't know what to think. On one hand it was good to hear that there were no feelings between Cloud and Aerith, but on the other hand... Cloud had resolved on someone else than her when he needed someone to talk to. Cloud didn't trust her enough to come to her when he needed something or someone. She felt as if she had failed as a friend, failed to be there when she was needed the most. But she had been so afraid of how to talk to Cloud about the accident that she hadn't gotten around the fear of hurting him. She hadn't known how to talk to someone who had lost someone as close as Zack was to Cloud.

She could still repair it, if she just tried hard enough. She could make herself to be the person Cloud could go to when he needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to and everything else Aerith had.

Aerith's voice startled Tifa out of her musings. "I know this sounds like a bad explanation, but that's really what happened. We stopped to do... you know... after some time, but recently Cloud had had some hard time and it's so easy to fall back to old habits," she explained, almost fearfully. "If I had known how much he means to you I would have kept my hands off him."

Tifa was quick to reassure her. "I know that. It's just that I feel like a lesser woman when Cloud doesn't trust me enough to come to me," she said.

"Cloud does care about you a great deal. He's just the kind of person not to bother anyone too close to him with his problems," Aerith stated in return. "I should know. I've never been anything but Cloud's second therapist."

Tifa could do nothing else than laugh, what Aerith had just said was just so absurd. "If you're his second therapist I don't want to know what he does with his first one," she giggled. The atmosphere of the room was instantly lighter after the first burst of laughter.

"You know what I mean," Aerith said indignantly. "It's hard to explain what's between the two of us, but it's not quite friendship nor is it strictly professional. It's just something that happened."

"Something that happened repeatedly," Tifa reminded in between giggling some more.

Aerith was taken aback by Tifa's continuing laughter. "It's really not that funny," she said accusingly. "I'm trying to tell you how Cloud is free to be taken, but you just... You just laugh?

The comment did just the opposite it was supposed to do. Tifa started laughing even harder than before and it took a whole minute for her to collect herself enough to talk again. "I'm sorry, I've been stressing about this for so long and when it's finally over I can't do anything else but just laugh. Besides, you talk about Cloud as if he was something like an unwanted piece of clothing in a flea market. 'I don't need it, so you can have it for free', or something along those lines."

Now it was Aerith's turn to start giggling. "Oh god, you're right," she laughed too. "I'm still going to tell him it's over though. It means so much more to you than it does to me," Aerith said and smirked. "So I think this does mean you're getting him for free." For a moment the women just smiled at each other and drank the last bits of their already chilled tea.

"It's so nice to talk and laugh like this. I don't know why," Tifa said. She honestly didn't remember why they hadn't met in so long time.

Aerith nodded in agreement. "Well, it's so nice to see an old friend and fall back to the old patterns. It's... comforting in a way. Or at least that's how I feel."

"Maybe. Or maybe we just understand each other more than average people do," Tifa said and was just going to philosophise some more, but the growling in her stomach cut her off. She took out her phone and checked the time.

Aerith craned her neck. "What time is it?" she asked.

"It's already five PM and I've eaten nothing more than the breakfast and this lovely tea you offered. So I think it's time for me to go home and eat something. You know, so I won't starve to death," Tifa said apolitically and stood up. But before she was able to take one step Aerith jumped up after her.

"Don't even think of doing that. You can as well eat here, why go somewhere else?" she announced.

Tifa was still reluctant to accept the invitation. "Oh, I don't think I could. You've been so hospitable already."

Aerith just snorted. "Come on, it's not going to be any trouble," she stated.

"But there's so much work in the food..." Tifa felt like she had already overstayed her welcome and adding more trouble to Aerith was not something she wanted to do.

But Aerith wouldn't budge. "And that's why you as the extra pair of hands helping me with it. There is no way for you to win this argument, so it'd be easier for the both of us if you just stayed without any extra conflict," she said and with that she grabbed Tifa's elbow. "I know a good recipe that I've never had the energy to try out. But now I have a perfect reason to do something extra fancy."

Tifa was vaguely aware that it was nothing more than a lie, but still let herself to be led to the kitchen. She had cooked with Aerith before and they both knew what fun would ensure. She just hoped the recipe Aerith was talking about was not too complicated, they had a bad habit to start chatting in the middle of the cocking and forget whatever they were doing.

But burnt food was a small price to pay for the kind of friendship they had had and were most likely going to have after remembering exactly what they lost. And in the middle of all the fuzz, next to smiling Aerith Cloud seemed less and less important by the moment. What meant more was making good food, just the two of them.


	9. The Game, you lost it.

It was six in the evening, Wednesday, and Axel had no work tonight. Achieving this free-evening was a result of some hard negotiating. Tifa didn't like spending the evening alone now that she'd gotten used to Axel's company. Axel didn't feel bad at bailing out once in a while, he had his priorities. Tonight he would enjoy the company of his closest friends, have fun and stay up the whole night. Tonight was reserved for the Game and the Game only and nothing would interrupt the fun times ahead.

Axel had filled his fridge the day before with things that were easy to eat quickly, unhealthy snacks and lots of stuff stuffed with caffeine. Falling asleep was never one of his problems - the Game was too exiting to allow that to happen - but staying on the alert was important, very important, and he wasn't risking anything so caffeine it would be. Once everything was transferred to the computer and the lights were dimmed, Axel seated himself in the middle of his kingdom and turned the power on.

It didn't take too long to load the welcoming page, one of the luxuries of the modern technology, and Axel typed in e password. He was immediately welcomed to the familiar world by a lady modelled to please most of the male players. Axel stretched his finger and placed them on the keyboard while waiting for the loading-animation to end. A new update had been made once again, it was the same every time he logged in. The Game wouldn't have been as enthralling if it hadn't been so alive, so real. You couldn't expect to enter the same world every time. If a quest had been completed by some other player, you would need to find a new one. And that was the reason why it was important not to end up having longer breaks from the Game.

A black screen and a flash of colours and the world was suddenly there. The forest where Axel had appeared was a familiar place, their unofficial meeting place, and he wasn't alone. In a swift movement Axel placed the headphones on, plugged them in and made his character grin and wave her hand to greet those who were waiting.

A lady veiled in shades of pink and orange, though Axel had more than once been lectured they were rosy and blazing red, came closer and performed a short dance to greet him. "I thought you'd like to know that I'm not offended by the day before yesterday," the lady stated right away and smiled. The voice that came through the headphones belonged to Demyx. It felt weird now, to think that Axel had managed to miss completely the way Demyx kept making a show of his mere existence in this world. There wasn't a moment he stood still; he was really enjoying the way a dancer could move around in a totally different way than any of the other classes. "I'm aware," a silence, not too long, but enough to be noticed, "of the quality of my performance."

"You thinking about what the kid said? He was a bit harsher than I thought he would be to a total stranger," Axel laughed, relieved. Demyx was annoying when he was angry at somebody, and Axel really didn't like being scolded by Xemnas because he 'threatening the balance of the group' because he'd angered their dancer.

Balance was important; Axel wasn't going to argue about that. It was important that everybody took care of their part. Axel was the one who would do major damage, those properly practised in the art of blue magic were unstoppable, and Demyx was the one who would lure noobs to their clutches. There were also the spells that boosted all sorts of attributes, an aspect not all could take advance of, and only few lasses were good at – the dancer being among them.

They were a clan that knew how to play and awakened fear wherever they'd walk. And they were famous, extremely so.

A new voice demanded Axel's attention. "While we wait for the others to arrive, has either of you any need of some potions?" Vexen's voice was accompanied by a worn-out looking alchemist approaching. Axel laughed at the question. Why would he need some potions? He knew how to heal himself far better than any of the potions could. It wasn't even likely he would need any healing tonight. Their plan was just to have some fun with the poor excuses of players – no need to worry about losing your precious life.

The clock was almost fifteen past six and suddenly a group of people arrived. Appearing right on the minute was something others did to show off, but Axel didn't have the patience for it. Everyone gathered around a summoner dressed in expensive-looking garments in black and white - a bit too showy for Axels taste, but he wasn't saying that one aloud – and waited for today's plan to be laid out in more detail.

"Good evening everyone," Xemnas voice greeted Axel and the rest of their group. Some were courteous enough to bow or wave a hand. Axel did neither. "I'm sure you'll all agree that it's time to have some fun tonight since we've done our share of the boring quests lately. Make sure you have everything you need with you; we're not going to wander into any towns to resupply anytime soon. Vexen here-" Xemnas would never miss an opportunity to point theatrically at something, "-wanted me to remind all of you that he's fully capable of refilling you storages of basic potions. And he did mention of some extra ethers for those who fear they need to refill their MP. Don't forget that we haven't recruited a new white mage since the last one died..." Xemnas made his character smile – a sign for the rest to start laughing.

Vexen's grumpy old character smiled at the words too and Axel was sure that if the mechanisms would have allowed, he'd smirk at Axel right now. Smirk in a really smug way. Axel resisted the urge to remark something witty about the sad fact that he could cast spells better than any of the stuff the man could create, but insulting the nearest thing they had to a healer wasn't wise so he shut his mouth.

Axel knew from experience that Xemnas would keet talking and lecturing, arguing about where to go hunting for the new white mage for a while now. Recruiting, they were quite good at it. Keeping the new recruits alive not so much. They had a habit of dying so easily... But his thoughts digressed. Sure, nobody spoke of anything important right now and it wasn't dangerous not to listen, he wasn't going to get caught of it – a nice aspect of online-playing, one that Axel liked very much.

A small note popped into the corner of the screen. It was Demyx asking permission to open a private conversation. "Not the only one tired of listening to Xemnas jabbering?" Axel asked and got an agreeing sound as an answer.

"I can't believe we're going back to the woods of Cleyra! It's almost derelict these days, no new plots. Nobody visits that place and then the monsters! I hatethe fiends there. You remember our last visit, don't you? Oh, you can't have forgotten it," Demyx said getting enthusiastic about today's destination.

Axel remembered the place all too well. "It's been a while since we visited the place," he stated. The blue mage – at the moment covered in a nice looking armour-bikini, in lilac, stolen, to be proud of - had been too low-levelled to the place during their latest visit. That meant ages ago. "I do remember. Not one of my finest days."

Demyx laughed. He, like all the others, remembered the day when Axel hid in the bushes. "So, do you think you're going to enjoy a new visit to the place?" Demyx asked.

"I think it'll be very enjoyable to wipe the whole region clean of every living thing," Axel answered. "Um, did Xemnas say why we're going to the place? It's not the best area to find noobs so I assume so it's for searching a little bit tougher white mage, right?"

"You really aren't listening," Demyx complained half serious. "Yes, we go there because the need to find someone who doesn't die in the beginning like our last healer. Depending on your and Vexen's small aid and my regen isn't a working solution in the long run."

Axel agreed. It had been annoying to keep healing others when you only wanted to kick some ass. Those who knew nothing about healing had been almost satisfied, they were allowed to play like usually – until they realised that no-one was there to heal them properly when their health was dropping quickly.

"Why are we still talking here?" Axel questioned now on the open channel that Xemnas kept using to keep his grand speech. The summoner fell silent and turned to look at the blue mage who had been arrogant enough to interrupt him and was now stubbornly staring back, hands on her hips. "Let's get going, recruit the white mage and go wrecking havoc among the good guys," Axel recommended. There was some agreeing murmur on the background, but Xemnas had to have the last word like usually. He waited for the silence before continuing.

"I agree. It is the time to start our journey."

xXx

Travelling to the woods of Cleyra didn't take long. The forest from where they started their journeys was situated in the middle of the map, Cleyra was some virtual miles to the west. Axel estimated the walk to take a quarter of an hour, not too much more. On the way they encountered nothing worth mentioning besides a small group of heroes they annihilated without a second thought. Some beginners who weren't expecting the notorious clan to cross their path didn't have any chance against them.

To inform the players that they had arrived to the Cleyran-zone a very subtle text appeared to the screen. It flashed a couple of times and disappeared, but Axel could swear the message had been permanently branded into his eyes.

"Try to keep alive, Axel," Saïx voice taunted suddenly. Axel saw the knight on his fluffy, yellow, kwehing chocobo ride into view with a smirk on his face. "If I were you, I'd beware the bombs. You know, those who float in the air and blow up if you go poking them?"

Axel played with the idea of choosing a spell from the menu, blasting it off – accidentally, mind you – in Saïx' direction and acting all horrified after the poor, poor knight would fall down from his noble steed all crisped up. "How thoughtful of you to remind me. I think I have to go find one right now, to absorb the powerful spell only blue mages can get from them," Axel said but doubted if the sincerity of his words was somehow lost to Saïx. The knight left without a word.

Xigbar's character walked next to Axel's and they opened a more closed conversation. Xigbar had heard the exchange of words between Axel and Saïx - it had been on the general-channel after all, open to all who were near enough their characters. "Trying to blast him into oblivion?" Xigbar asked.

"What can I do if it pisses him off that I'm far better player these days?" Axel asked all innocently. "It's not my fault if something were to happen to him because of the lack of his skill." Xigbar didn't hide his amusement and laughed. He quieted quickly when a message was sent to every member of their clan. The small box had only one sentence, but it was enough to help forget all quarrelling right away.

"A white mage sighted," Xigbar read the message aloud and made his archer grin widely while leaning to his longbow. "Who's turn is to do the recruiting?"

Axel didn't bother to answer – he didn't have a clue – and instead rushed to catch the rest of the group who were already getting ready for hiring the new healer. Axel didn't need to do any preparations; he had his quick commands in order and was in perfect health.

"I'm ready to get going," Demyx stated and waited for an allowing nod from Xemnas. Axel had no complaints about their strict hierarchy; he wasn't one to take the place of the leader – openly. He had no problem with ordering everyone around in the shadows. If Xemnas wanted to be there to take the blame when everything blew up, he was more than welcome to do so.

Demyx left for his mission. He'd walk to the group that wandered in the nearby forest, act like he was lost, his group was dying and he'd need help. Dancer was such a harmless class that it was pretty seldom that he wasn't believed. It was strange how stupid people were. Sure, only white mages could see the status of other players – including how deep down on the evil gauge the player's morale was – but that was done with a help of an easy spell. And people were lazy. If the scan-spell was cast, Demyx would have been seen as the devil he was.

Everybody in clan were proud of their corruptness. You had to do some serious work to end up enough bad to be allowed to kill other players randomly in the Game. The system itself was easy. Kill someone on the dark side, get a morale boost and end up a saint after enough of heroism. Do quests, evil, corrupted and malicious quests or go kicking some moogles and monkeys and feel your morale sliding towards the evil. Killing good guys will also help, but that wasn't allowed until in the very end.

There were backsides and benefits to both ends of the morale-gauge. Being evil meant a permission to hunt other players – only when you were really viciously evil – and to be hunted by everyone else. And Axel couldn't ever think of playing the Game in any other way.

Demyx sent a message that the mission was a success and he was wandering towards their trap with five people with him. He sent no warning about high-levelled characters which meant this was going to be easy. They had superior numbers and skill on their side.

"Axel, have fun with the black mage," Xemnas shared the tasks. "Larxene still refuses to work with you, I would be very interested in hearing from you why, but that'll have to wait for later. Try to cope with Saïx now," Xemnas decided and close the channel. They used multiple channels to do their communicating with because it got pretty messed up if everyone tried to get heard at the same time on the same one. Shouting your plans to the enemy wasn't clever either; therefore they didn't use the general-chat-line that everybody, no matter of the clan, could use.

Axel grimaced in the real world and then grinned in the virtual one. This would be fun, he and Saïx had worked together since the ancient time Axel had been introduced to the game. And they were still shouting insults and taunts and then laughing all this off in the real-life.

Larxene was a different case. She was going to die if Axel got hands on her. No matter if they'd meet here or in the other life. The marks on his cheeks weren't going anywhere.

"Axel, ready to go?" Saïx asked and walked into view on his chocobo. Saïx class was a knight, a chocobo-knight at the moment, and he had developed a habit of jumping around on the yellow bird. Axel would have wanted to have a bird of his own, but specializing into a knight who could catch one was too painstaking.

"I can't wait," Axel stated. "Do you think you can do something to your stupid bird to stop kwehing? It's annoying and going to show our hiding place."

Saix's character shook his head. "No need for hiding anymore," Saïx said and Axel realized their prey was already visible. It was clear that they knew something was wrond now. The sight of eleven people staring at you, dressed mostly in full armour, might cause some fear and need of running away, fast and right away. Axel smiled in both of the worlds and took a draught of his caffeinated energy drink while preparing the first real spell of the night.

"Interested in a Mighty Guard?" Axel asked Saïx while performing the task of pressing one key down. A show of light encircled them and a notification of their increased defence appeared in the upper edge of the screen. That was all preparation to do before rushing right into action. Demyx was already running into safety, leaving his "rescuers" to the hands of his "poor friends without a white mage and in need of one". No lies in that sentence - though the rescuers might have felt otherwise.

But there was no time for opinions and arguing now. The small group of five did their best to cast protective shields and offensive spells, but it was hopeless. Axel was there with Saïx to distract the black mage, no great garments worth stealing, the ordinary cloak and a cheap hat. The spells the man tried to defend himself with were basic, thundara, fira, the elementals without any originality. Axel could have killed him by electrocuting, burning or freezing him to death, but that didn't satisfy his need to be creative. Instead he sent a flirting kiss and the mage suddenly realized that the world seemed larger and scarier from the frog-perspective. Saïx mission was to stab twice and the mage was dead. The same pattern was followed with the three remaining members of the group leaving only the white mage standing there helpless, alone and unharmed.

"How dare you!" the white mage shouted, a girl's voice demanding some justification. She probably knew right now that she was surrounded by an Evil clan, toying with her and her friends.

Larxene - thief in very fashionable clothing, electric yellow, enchanted in many ways, most definitely worth unbelievable amounts of gil – stepped forward. The thief smiled, bowed courteously. "Dear little girl," she began. "We're just as evil as your scan has told you. And we don't hesitate killing you the moment you start to fade away. So no point trying to log out, darling." Dying in the game wasn't a pleasant experience. You lost everything in your inventory, all your HP expect for one point and your MP was gone too. Some other nice side-effects in dying was that the money you were carrying with you was lost too and the EXP you had collected since your last level up was taken away from you. The half hour wait until you could start again was no fun either. Avoiding dying was important, very, very important.

The poor little white mage stood still, horrified. "What do you want? I don't have anything you'd need," the girl stated defiantly.

"That's where you're wrong," Larxene said. "The contract we're going to make with you is simple. We need a white mage, you're a white mage. You do your job, we don't kill you. You don't do your job, we'll make sure you suffer a painful death. Clear enough?" she asked and smiled all the time. Their new healer for the night nodded.

"Wonderful," Xemnas stated. "You stay close to this charming lady-thief here and no harm shall come to you," he advised the new recruit and then switched to the channel that only real members of the clan could listen to. "I think somewhere near Destiny Islands would be a perfect spot for noob-hunting. Has somebody a need to disagree?" Nobody had. The healer followed Larxene an angry look on her face, but didn't have the courage to do anything.

They started wandering towards the Destiny Islands, a place where the story began for so many. It was the place where you received your first mission, your first weapons and friends. It was a perfect place to cause panic in, where to spread their fame. To be rumoured, to be feared, it felt great. To be feared and famous enough that entire clans tried to seek you and defeat you made playing the Game even more entertaining.

Axel hadn't followed Xemnas lead for too long before he realized that there was a small group of Bombs flouting ahead, hidden in the bushes. Last time he'd encountered the fiends they had made him run for his life - one had managed to blow up taking a huge amount of Axel's health points with it – but that wasn't happening now. "I'll go and collect a new skill from one of those," Axel stated before straying from the group. He prepared an icy blast and sneaked closer. The globes of blazing charcoal detected Axel right away and began casting their fiery wrath over him. They did some damage, but Axel wasn't afraid. He released the spell and two of the three creatures died right away, the third suffering a mighty strike. Axel used his special skill to capture the spell the Bombs were famous for and it appeared on the long list of enemy skills collected, right bellow White Wind and above Bad Breath. One small spell and the last of the Bombs were annihilated. Axel's collection of enemy skills was getting very impressive already.

Destiny Islands. It was a lovely place, a tropical paradise, and always very crowded. The clan had arrived to the edge of civilisation and they were waiting for the order to go crazy. The looks they were getting from the passing people were both curious and cautious, but nobody had the courage to come talk to them. Axel didn't care if he was ignored now. He was already thinking his plan of what to do once the order to do what he pleased would come. This was the place where you could kill people by dozens without having to search for the victims. There were few people strong enough to make any problems and many people running around like headless chickens. A real paradise.

"Please feel free to terrorize this place. Call for help if you need any," Xemnas said as the only advice. That was all that was needed to make the highly organized clan suddenly start casting spells and leaving bodies behind while running heedlessly into the crowd. Xemnas himself admired the destruction that the large Eidalon in his command was making while Saïx was dashing around and stabbing everybody that didn't have the time to escape. Demyx was helping Xigbar by making everybody in range fall asleep and the later wandered around finishing the sleepyheads. What the rest did, Axel had no idea. They were making destruction somewhere out of his sight.

Larxene had disappeared very quickly. It was possible that she had realized that it wasn't safe to be near Axel when there was no control. This was the first non-thought-fully-out-mission in the two weeks since the accident on Axel's face. Larxene had managed to avoid Axel this far, but now it was going to come to its end. It was time for his revenge.

Axel was running through the beach now, searching for their new healer and Larxene who was watching over her. Finding them surrounded by several weak characters that were unsure what to do to the laughing thief who taunted and killed them with amazing speed. Axel sneaked closer, prepared the spell that would cause some unwanted side effects and make her a far easier enemy. Oh, he couldn't kill her because the problems it would have caused. But humiliating her wasn't out of the question. Ending on the line of the spell would be a terrible accident and it was just bad luck that Larxene didn't have the time to dodge, but that's life for you. It sucks and then you die. After she'd experienced the life from the perspective of a toad, poisoned, confused, and all the other side-effects... Well, it wasn't anymore Axel's fault if she died.

"Come to join the party?" Larxene shouted as she saw Axel approaching. "I'm sorry but I doubt I'll share these ones with you," she remarked, but that didn't stop Axel from moving a bit closer. He needed to be on a safe distance of the area where the spell would hit, but close enough to make it reach all the way to Larxene. The healer was there to help her survive the breath of polluted air coming to the direction in...Three...Two...One-

But something went wrong. The screen turned red when great flames stormed up to the sky and to the area around. The unexpected flash made real-life Axel at his computer jump. The spell was stronger than anything Axel had casted before, it hit the noobs Larxene had been tormenting whipping all of them away. The numbers indicating the damage dealt told that there would have been little hope for Axel himself. Larxene was suffering too, the way she was cursing Axel now didn't leave any questions. She was lucky to be alive. Their new healer hadn't had a chance, she was gone in a puff of smoke. There were only two survivors on the area that Axel's spell had covered, him and Larxene. The thief looked pretty badly beaten up and Axel – he had hard time believing it – was dying. He was on fire, his health-meter was quickly emptying and flashing in red now. He didn't have any MP left, he'd spent it freely the whole night and the last spell had spent the rest of it. There was nobody able to help him since Larxene would spend all her potions rather on herself than the idiot who blew himself up.

"I- I think I'm dying," Axel stated horrified. He had chosen the wrong spell from the list, he was supposed to cast Bad Breath but instead he had gotten Self-destruct. "This is humiliating," Axel muttered aloud in his living room, staring at the blackened female on fire, his identity in the Game. He had not died a single time before and now in a situation like this? There was no way this was true…

There really was nothing else to be done but cry for help and hope for a miracle.

xXx

Roxas was saying farewell to the character he'd been playing with for the last year. He felt oddly nostalgic looking at the character on the loading screen he'd had so much fun with. All the hours spent to learning first the game mechanics and later the world… The Game was truly the greatest and most massive MMORG known to the mankind.

Still, a red mage was not a good class to play with after getting down all the basics. The game itself recommended all the beginners to start with a red mage due to its well balanced nature and white magic it could cast when in need. On the other hand, it was the jack-of-all-trades of the gaming world. It could do a little of everything but it wasn't actually good at anything.

So, after all the time Roxas had spent within the game he had finally gathered the courage to let his first character go. He was starting everything anew. He wasn't starting empty handed. Not long after Roxas had decided that a goody-goody red mage was getting boring, he had transferred most of the equipments and money he had to his new character.

So when he logged in as a white mage for the first time he had everything he needed aside from the experience and a good team to play with. A team wasn't the problem; the game had a terrible shortage of healers. Actually, as a red mage everything anyone had ever asked from him was to heal them. And that was the reason he choose the white mage. Everyone needed them and he could finally find a team he could stick with for longer time than a day. If someone needed a healer, Roxas would be there to help them out.

Or blast them away with holy. Whatever would feel like a better solution.

But first he'd need more levels. He had gotten the first three or so with the tedious work of killing the smallest and weakest enemies he could find, but it got boring after a while. Not to mention it got less and less efficient level by level. He needed to kill more and more enemies to get even one level and Roxas counted that to get to level seven he'd need to sit on the computer for an hour just chasing bees.

So he got a group to play with, but that didn't go too well either. All the other players were newcomers and didn't know how to play. And Roxas wasn't the best teacher in the world even if he had bothered to keep watching their fooling around.

Unfortunately, the area he was in was way too dangerous for a white mage to walk alone. About half of the people started there so it was full of inexperienced players. This in turn attracted the pure-evil people who could kill anyone they wanted. Thus Roxas had no other choice but to stay in big cities where there were shops and other crowded places where he could hide, inside a crowd. No-one attacked the towns; there were simply too many people to defend the place.

If someone was suicidal enough to try, a panic would rise and that would do no good to anyone involved. Which was exactly what was happening right at that moment. The group that Roxas had been with had mostly logged off, too scared to meet the people responsible for the whole ordeal. Roxas, on the other hand, was more interested seeing them. Of course there was no doubt about who was stupid or in their case confident enough to try to wipe the whole town down.

Losing a level or two was no price to pay for a once in a lifetime chance like this. Meeting a legend of a bunch of legends that had woken terror right from the beginning of the whole game… There were no words to how much Roxas wanted to finally see them inaction. He'd heard horror stories of them for as long as he had been playing the game.

The only thing left to do was to find and identify them. Which sounded like a harder thing to do than it actually was. Roxas just needed to go to the place where everyone else was running away from, it was as simple as that.

They really were beginners if they ran away and forgot that they were capable of leaving the world whenever they felt the need to do so. For a moment Roxas considered reminding all the people nearby, but when he reconsidered it, he was having way more fun watching all the idiots burn. Figuratively speaking, of course. The animations for someone burning were not so pleasant. Not to mention the sound effects.

Suddenly someone wrote in the chat about a crazy thief on the beach. That was where Roxas headed next. He walked slowly against the stream of frightened people, each and every one of them too self-absorbed to notice one little white mage walking to the wrong direction. Roxas got to the beach without without anyone asking where he was heading.

On the beach he kept his distance, if just to be secure. There was actually a maniac-looking thief. Well, as maniac-looking as bunch of pixels can look. And that was startlingly lot. Said thief had somehow gotten surrounded by obviously weaker characters that were too idiotic to run away from an obvious threat. The thief was having her fun toying with everyone around her, dodging all their attacks and bringing them down one at a time. Roxas felt safe watching her from the distance.

As she was halfway done with her playthings, Roxas noticed someone trying to sneak behind her. It was a blue mage and for a moment Roxas thought it was someone trying to kill the thief, maybe another character of someone killed. But the thief didn't pay any attention to the newcomer and Roxas realised it must have been someone she already knew. Maybe even someone from the Legends.

The blue mage didn't do anything and Roxas stopped paying attention to her. Which proved to be a bad decision. The blue mage suddenly blew herself and the thief up. Roxas stared at the screen in surprise. That was unexpected, especially when he had thought that the thief and the blue mage knew each other.

What was more surprising was the fact that he then heard a female voice from his speakers. "Hey you, white mage that was watching me," the voice said and Roxas felt his heart beat hard. He had been caught. "I'm on fire, but I can still kill you in a flick of a wrist," the voice continued and Roxas realised that he hadn't answered yet. Unfortunately he didn't have his headphones; he had lost them last week. Or to be more exact, Sora had loaned them and never returned.

The voice kept rambling as Roxas started to type his answer. "Okay, don't answer, I don't care. If you haven't cured both of us in the time I count to three I'm going to kill you and haunt you and your guild," the voice said.

Roxas sent his message of apologies before he cured the both of them. He had never been so happy to have esuna in his life.

"Hey that's great, please continue telling me your life story and see if I care," was her answer to all apologies he had sent. Well, a thanks would be too much, considering the reputation that followed their group everywhere. Still, Roxas was too audacious for his own good.

"What, no thanks? I thought that was good mannered when someone saves your life, virtual or not," was the message he sent to the girl on the other side of the internet. Maybe that would get him killed in the most imaginative way- the killing blow never came. Instead he heard something much more unsettling.

He heard laughter. The laughter didn't sound happy or pleasant, it was more like the laughter of a person who has finally seen their biggest enemy get bankrupted, paralysed and kicked out of their house, all in the same day. It was the scariest laughter Roxas had ever heard. And it kept going on and on and on and on. It would be creepy, even without lasting so long that Roxas had to think about when she'd breathe, but when it just wouldn't stop, it was scary.

Finally, after what felt like ten minutes the laughter stopped as fast as it had started leaving Roxas heart race and ears ring. The woman wasn't affected by the laughter at all. "Oh, you got guts, I like that," she giggled some more. "I like that a lot. How about joining us and becoming part of the phenomenon that has scared little kids as long as this game has been up?" she said and Roxas was, for the second time that evening, dumbstruck. They really wanted him to go with them, to be part of something that big, to be famous? Why him? He was nothing special, his character hardly made.

Roxas' hands were shaking as he typed the only coherent thought he could master. "Who, me?" he said and instantly after pressing enter regretted it. He must've seemed so stupid saying that. There was no-one else around; everyone had ran away or gotten killed by the fire a few of what felt like lifelong moments ago.

"Yes, you," the voice said and Roxas' dull life seemed a lot more interesting all of sudden. "You've got spunk, a backbone! Just what we need. Besides you just watched as I killed all those innocent souls. You don't mind being corrupted," she practically purred. She seemed to be excited to get him in their group. Almost too excited. There was no way that legends like her wanted a poor old Roxas to come with them, to one part of… well, the terror they stood for.

The Roxas realised. Of course. How stupid could he be? These guys had a habit of taking careless white mages to their group and abandoning them when their MP ran out or they couldn't just keep up with the way they moved. It was all over the forums.

Still, like he had decided when he sneaked up to them in the first place. A few levels… No actually the whole character wasn't important enough to lose because he was afraid of losing them. Not faced with all the fun and excitement he could have if he travelled with the Legends. There was always the slight change that Roxas might be the one who could keep up with them. Might be the one to become their final white mage, the one who could be there in the middle of all the fun.

In the middle of all the pondering he heard the voice, the thief's voice again. "Well, what do you say? Don't make me threaten to kill you for the second time. This time I might actually do it," she said.

Roxas hurried to type back plain old "yes." He couldn't seem too excited, now could he?

"Hey that's great. Now tell me, how did you get by our archer?" she asked. Roxas stared at the screen. He hadn't seen any archers… On the other hand he hadn't been looking too closely. He had been too absorbed with the need to get to the beach and see them without having to talk to anybody else.

Still, he'd need to answer something. He could lie and say he dodged all the arrows or that he had a shield powerful enough to block them on, but… There was always the change that the question was all a test to see if he spoke the truth, if they could trust him. She might be genuinely interested knowing how he had done it? He was overthinking this. Roxas spun around in his chair a few time before he settled to a dodging almost-truth that he hadn't even noticed the archer was there.

The girl - Roxas was sure it was the thief as the blue mage had tiptoed out of the scenery some time ago - answered with: "Oh, and it's lucky too. There's no way you could've gotten away from him if he saw you."

Or maybe the archer had thought Roxas as a too easy target, he hadn't been running. Roxas didn't say his thoughts out loud; he had a real once in a lifetime change at hand and he was not going to screw it up with putting himself down.

"Well, our blue mage is currently telling everyone about you. So, are you ready to see the group you're going to be healing as long as we feel like not killing you?" she finally said after a long silence. "I know everyone will just simply love your daring attitude," she said and her character stopped doing its idle animation, flipping coins, it had been doing for a while now.

Roxas looked at the clock at the bottom of the screen. It was well past one AM and he was just getting to meet the rest of the group. But what a meeting it would be. Roxas would just need to keep his inner fanboy in bay and act cool. Well, as cool as he could act when it was something he had not been even started to dream of. An unvoiced dream come true.

The thief led him through the deserted streets, straight to the market square in the middle. There were people gathered there, obviously waiting for the thief. She stopped at the edge of the marketplace. "This is us," she said, emphasizing the last word. "I hope you'll like us because there's nowhere to run."

There was nowhere Roxas would rather be, save from his own bed. It was really getting late and Roxas was more tired that he had been in months. It was all worth it. His career as a white mage had started better than he had been able to dream of.


	10. Think I got the message figured

Axel was walking home from the bar feeling at ease. Everything was in control now. Tifa didn't fuse over Cloud anymore. She hadn't spoken about it at all. It made Axel curious the tiniest bit. Not curious enough to ask her. He wasn't going to volunteer for more stories about Cloud, no way in hell. It suited him just fine that Tifa had gotten herself together working with her had returned to what it had used to be.

Axel felt happy. The weather was warm for a change, a nice evening sky burned in the horizon and it sounded like a nice evening. Cars driving past, some birds, people talking and music playing behind the windows he walked by. He was waiting for a nice evening in the front of his beloved computer, in the world of the Game like so many times this week. Most weeks their clan tried to come together twice or thrice, more often and people started complaining. All of them had other things they had to reserve time for, work and social expectation. Axel had it easier than most once again. He could come and go freely.

Thanks to his flexible life, he never missed a coming together in the Game. He usually didn't miss the bigger meetings once every month either, but lately he'd felt a new kind of dread once they got closer. There was always spirits involved, and that had become a problem.

This week Axel was going to make an exception. He would still keep his hands of everything dangerous, he was resolved about that, but there was no way he'd miss this meeting. They had recruited a new white mage that they were thinking of keeping. Axel too was excited to find out how good and willing to end up as corrupted this new guy was. And in some twisted way he felt grateful to the new guy because he had saved his pixelated life.

They had a meeting in the Game scheduled at seven, around thirty minutes from now. Axel was almost home already and had plenty of time to cross this street and walk along the next one until he reached the corner. He would cross over the lawn never caring less about the constant complaining about the "kids these days." He couldn't be classified as a kid anymore, but would destroy the perfect plantings gladly if it benefitted him in any way. Senseless barbarism was nothing he encouraged, only stupid laws and restrictions should be broken.

Axel was making his way over the last street when he saw a familiar face approaching from the opposite direction. It wasn't that many months ago when he would have done his best to avoid this kid, but times had changed. Roxas had proved to be a bit saner than what Axel had thought after their first encounter and was the only neighbour right now that Axel bothered to greet upon meeting.

"Hi," Axel acknowledged and slowed down his pace to allow Roxas catch him. The boy nodded politely, smiled a little and straightened his posture. He was carrying a heavy looking bag over his shoulder. Axel nodded at the carryings. "What's in that bag?"

"The things I need in struggle, the bat, the shoes, and so on," Roxas answered. "I had the last practise for this summer today."

Axel was surprised. He had never in a million years thought that kid would participate in any martial art kind of sport. Axel had heard of struggle, but he had never actually seen someone fight. The thought of beating people up with bats, clubs... Well, even the thought hurt. Axel told about his thoughts aloud only to hear Roxas laugh.

"You're not the first one to worry. Yeah, the fight is all about beating your opponent up, but the bats are made out of this foamy stuff that doesn't hurt that much. If you hit hard enough you get bruises, but breaking bones isn't a part of struggle," Roxas explained, opened his bag to show how the bat looked like. Axel poked the blue surface and it did feel much softer than he'd thought.

"So it's like a pillow-fight really?" Axel laughed as the realization hit him.

Roxas smiled. "Yeah, kind of."

The conversation died for a moment, but Axel was in a good mood and felt for small talk for the short distance they got to walk together. Questions were good. An easy way to make the other one do the talking, and tell Axel if they were interesting enough to be bothered with. "Do you remember the musician whose dreams of stardom you broke?"

"Why do you even call him a musician?" the boy asked in return without missing a beat.

"I don't know? Anyway, he told me yesterday that he wasn't too upset about your critique. He'll live to torment us for another day. You did save me the job of telling him the truth myself. I'm grateful for that. It was a lot more pleasant to listen him complain about you than actually arguing with him."

"That's nice? Um, do you know what time it is?" Roxas suddenly asked looking like he was in a hurry. Axel hoped it wasn't because his company. He was quite sure he wasn't one to bore the people he spoke with to death. Axel glanced at his phone to find out. "It's ten to seven. Are you in a hurry?"

Roxas nodded. "I'm expected at seven."

Axel looked at the clock once more. "At seven? You should have mentioned you had to be running. I hope you don't have to be somewhere too far from here."

"I have time. I just need to get going now," Roxas reassured, but Axel was sure he only wanted to be polite. Well, it was not his problem if people were afraid to interrupt and say goodbye. "See ya."

Roxas sprinted the remaining distance and disappeared through the door. Axel followed him in a hurry-free pace, had began to climbing the stairs when he heard the door close. The kid would be late wherever he was trying to be in time to.

xXx

"And where do you think you're going?" Sora asked Roxas who was already searching after his lost shoes in the messy hallway. The hallway was in complete chaos and that was the only reason Roxas hadn't managed to sneak out without Sora noticing. It had taken lots of rustling and voices of frustration to make Sora even peek out of his room. Roxas had wanted to slip the interrogation about a decision he wasn't all that certain of even himself, but it was too late now.

Sora demanded to know every single detail about what his cousin was up to. Maybe it was pure curiosity, maybe it was the sense of duty, a need to keep the promises they both had made when moving away from home. They promised to watch over each other, and thus prevent anything stupid from happening. The problem was, Roxas wasn't sure if he was doing something incredibly stupid right now. A part of him wanted to tell to Sora so that he would talk him out of it while another part of him didn't want to fight about something he was determined to go through with.

Roxas sighed and turned around. He had managed to uncover one of his shoes beneath the pile of bags, umbrellas and shoes. "At this rate there's going to be a day when I'm going to be late from somewhere because I can't find my shoes," Roxas complained.

Sora agreed, acknowledging he had everything to do with the disorder. After all, Roxas was the one of them who returned the books to the shelves, cleaned up the dishes before the scraps were impossible to get off the plates and placed his shoes neatly next to the wall.

"We have some free time tomorrow," Sora suggested and went to help Roxas. Somehow the mess didn't prevent him from finding the missing pair for the shoe in a few seconds. "You still haven't told me where you're going," Sora said as he gave the shoe and stepped aside in the hallway since there really wasn't room for two.

"Out. To meet some friends," Roxas stated shortly, but Sora wasn't satisfied with that little information. "With who? Hayner, Pence and Olette? Or Naminé?" Roxas shook his head to each name. "Who then? Someone you are trying to hide from me?"

Roxas gripped his bag and was fully ready to go. But only after he'd get Sora off his neck. "No, you don't know these people. And neither do I. Satisfied with that?" he asked, irritated. He had plenty of time before he was expected, but since he had thought of being early and not arriving when everybody would be there, Sora's questions were disrupting his plan.

Sora mistook Roxas' irritation as sarcasm. "So it is the usual gang. Why didn't you just say so?" he asked and smiled then. Roxas flashed a quick smile back and left the misunderstanding uncorrected. He didn't need a lecture about internet friends. "I know you find this annoying, you know," Sora stated suddenly and it took Roxas a while to understand where he was coming from.

"No, actually I don't," Roxas reassured. "If a stupid question would prevent me from deciding to go meet some psychopaths, I would be very grateful you asked it. And Mum is much happier to know that you take care of me like she used to."

Sora wasn't buying Roxas' happy face. "I'm not stupid. You don't want me to watch over you like Aunt did."

Roxas leaned to the hallway wall and glanced at the clock. Still a time before he had to run, but he had to give up the plan for a quiet entrance. He'd need to do his grand entrée in front of everybody. "Sora, sorry. Let's not make this a big deal now? I have to go now or I'll be late."

"I know your friends. They don't mind if you arrive a little late," Sora pointed out. "And it's not like I'm hurt by your words. You should just say straight that you don't want me to ask every time with who and where you're going. I understand, really. Aunt did it to both of us even-handedly."

Roxas smiled. "I appreciate it." He went through the stuff that he'd need and the stuff he had with him now. Nothing seemed to be missing and he turned to leave. Finally.

"Promise not to do something stupid. Don't go finding some psychopathic killers. I don't want to be the one who calls Aunt that you've disappeared," Sora called after him and Roxas glanced to see him shiver by the mere thought and then laugh. Sora waved his hand and disappeared behind the closing door.

Roxas jumped the stairs down two steps at a time. He'd need to hurry.

Do something stupid? Psychopaths? Nobody had seemed that mentally unstable the two times Roxas had played with them. They were just having fun, killing people and waking terror. That was what everybody did. Roxas, if anyone, knew about mentally unstable people, and he knew how to be careful.

Roxas took the small piece of paper from his back pocket. He had scribbled the name of the meeting place. He knew that it had to be a bar of some sort, but although he had mentioned that he was slightly underage – not the fact his seventeenth birthday was still two months away – but none of the others had cared. He had just been reassured it wouldn't cause any problems. Roxas had his doubts about the opinion of the owner of the place, but since the clan really didn't seem like one that chanced its meeting-place to a coffeehouse because the new recruit couldn't legally be drinking yet, he hadn't voiced his doubts. Lots of people of his age were drinking anyway, Roxas reminded himself and silenced the hesitant voices hopefully for good.

There were only two things he had to worry for now. One was finding to the said bar, not a though task with a map, and two was finding the people who were expecting him. Nobody had thought it important to give him any real distinctive marks he could identified them from. All he knew was that "he really couldn't miss them" and that they "should be somewhere in the back". Anything could be waiting him once he reached his destination.

Roxas took the bus to the centre, remembered to jump off on the right stop and started wandering to the direction he hoped was the right one. He knew the city well, but wasn't an expert with its nightlife. Some had brothers to tell those stories and useful tips, but Cloud wasn't really applicable to that. But it was okay because Roxas didn't feel the need to get drunk yet; he could easily wait until he had the legal right to do so. Having no expertise didn't prevent Roxas from finding the right street and the letters indicating that the door underneath lead to a place called the Sandsea.

Roxas tried to peer inside from the windows, but the interior was poorly lit and he saw nobody that could possibly be member of the clan. He had only two options left: to open the door and step inside or return home. It wasn't a hard decision anymore; the pondering if this was a good choice had been made before even opening the door at home. The place was shadowy, had some oriental influences in the decoration – no, not Asian like it first seemed, more like some herdsmen on a vast desert, colourful rugs on the floors and the walls the colour of sand. The place wasn't anything as bad as Roxas had imagined it to be. It looked interesting and somehow made him have high hopes on the people he was here to see. They couldn't be boring nerds living only in the world of the Game, they couldn't have known this place if they were.

He looked around, saw a clock on the wall - ten past seven, he was late – and then tried to decide who he really couldn't miss in a half-crowded place like this. It was surprisingly roomy bar, you couldn't see the back of it from the door, and Roxas had to wander deeper. He was constantly searching for a face that would attract attention and as he turned to the furthermost corner of the place, he found them.

They were easily the largest group in the place, twelve people gathered around a couple of tables, four sofas and two additional armchairs. They were loud too, and that might even be the reason why all the tables close were empty. The chatter and laughing wasn't the first thing Roxas noticed though. What was so distinctive was the clash of personalities and styles. Someone had dyed his hair pink, one blue and then there was blazing red to company the two first. There was no making a mistake who the last one was.

"Why is that kid staring at us?" asked a man sitting on the couch next to the wall and facing Roxas. He had spoken the words loudly enough that they were clearly meant to be heard by Roxas. The man pointed at Roxas with an amused grin on his face and several heads turned at once. The reactions altered from curiosity to amusement and then there were two cases of startled but fully aware who he was.

"I'm voting we adopt that lost puppy right away!" declared the only female in the group before anyone else had had the time to say anything. There was some murmuring, but it didn't seem like anybody agreed.

Roxas looked at the only familiar face hoping Axel would realize why he was there and spare him from the explanations. He hoped that Axel wouldn't make everything worse. He could do that. He was Axel.

"Isn't that the guy you know, Axel?" asked the man Roxas remembered as Demyx. The question was what startled Axel into life and the surprised face disappeared. He nodded and most of the group seized staring at Roxas and turned their attention to Axel instead.

Axel looked at Roxas. "Yes, Demyx, you're right. I do know him," he said and looked at his friends once more, a confident smile on his face now. "I'm quite sure that one there is our new recruit," he continued andit was time for the others to look a mix of bewildered and surprised. Roxas had expected something like this, because he knew that he didn't look that old, not even his own age. He smiled carefully, took a couple of steps closer but didn't dare walk all the way.

"That's it! I'm really getting a pet out of him," the woman declared and jumped up. She walked to Roxas and inspected him closely. "You pass easily," she stated and gripped Roxas' hand and dragged him to the tables. She made him sit down on her place and made a new seat of the arm of the armchair. The gleam in her eyes was somewhat frightening.

Everyone was staring at Roxas now. He tried to look like he knew what he was doing, but the situation was a bit overwhelming. He had known that everybody would be older than he, but Axel had to be one of the youngest and Roxas was years younger than him! Roxas felt uncomfortable. It didn't help that the woman was leaning closer and the man he had been seated adjacent to was way too tall and had dreadlocks.

Axel decided to act the role of the rescuing knight, though Roxas didn't like the imaginary that his brain supplied him. "Lean back, Larxene. Can't you see you're suffocating him?" Axel commanded.

"Oh, shut up, jealous," she hissed but obeyed. "Introduce him to us, Axel. You said you knew this adorable little cutie," she continued in a voice Roxas couldn't say if she was mocking him or not.

Axel was in no hurry, apparently completely in his element already and enjoying the fact the he was the one with the knowledge. He leaned comfortable to the arm of his armchair before bothering to even tell Roxas' name to the others. The moment of silence was the perfect opportunity sound more mature and self-assured than the first impression he'd given, Roxas decided. "My name's Roxas," he said, loud an clear..

Axel did look surprised when Roxas had the courage to speak up in. "Really brave, Roxas, really. But I'll continue from here," Axel declared, forced everyone's attention back on him again. "Okay, introduction. That's Larxene there next to you. The only one with boobs around here, watch out for her. She can't resist the smell of fresh flesh," Axel told with a wide grin. "She's the thief in the Game. That's Xaldin on your other side. He plays as the dragoon. And Demyx you've met already once. The dancer." Demyx greeted Roxas a bit more reserved than Xaldin before him. Larxene' greeting was very heartily.

"Axel, I would like to introduce the rest of us," interrupted the man who sat on the couch next to Axel, but in remarkably better posture. He had the voice of leader and Roxas knew right away that this one had to be the summoner. What his real name was Roxas had no idea about until the man told it himself. "I'm Xemnas, the summoner. I'm glad you could make it, it's important for us that we know who we're playing with. It's what makes the difference between us and the lesser clans." The speech-pattern was unmistakable from the small briefs Roxas had been allowed to listen into. "Let me tell the names quickly," he continued on pointing at people, making a circle starting from the one left of him and ending with Axel. Roxas knew that he would have hard time learning the names, there was too many of unfamiliar faces at once for him.

The only one whose job in the clan hadn't been mentioned now was Axel and as Roxas went through the jobs that had already mentioned, he found out that one too. Axel grinned. "And the blue mage, that's me. But it wasn't that hard to figure that out, now was it?"

"So it was your ass that I saved?" Roxas said, somewhat amused. Axel flashed a new charming grin, laughed. Larxene sneered when the accident got mentioned. Roxas had never actually been given a proper explanation what had really happened. Some sort of fire-spell had hit both their thief, Larxene, and the blue mage, Axel. That had been all that anyone had been bothered to tell him. Roxas assumed it had been Axel's fault and that Larxene was still quite pissed about it. Roxas didn't want to interfere; actually he wanted only to know how to stay aside.

The names had been told and a silence fell. There was restless turning of the heads and questioning looks cast at Xemnas. "Should we come up to with some sort of welcoming-ceremony?" asked Saïx a smirk, that Roxas didn't like all too much, on his face. Roxas decided to smile bravely since this wasn't the moment to hesitate. The murmuring sounded agreeing this time. "What would you say about a new round of drinks?" Saïx suggested. Roxas looked around -There were several empty glasses and bottles on the table.

"Everyone pays their own, but with the expectation of the new kid?" Axel participated in the discussion. He seemed to want to clarify the rules. Roxas sat still, overwhelmed. He hadn't expected to be accepted this quickly. The silence and nervousness was gone and what Roxas had feared hadn't happened. He had thought that a group like this would've laughed him out, called him a little kid. The last one did actually come true, but nobody was using it as a mockery towards him – as far as Roxas could tell. The smiles seemed sincere enough, and he felt like that he had almost disappeared among them. Even Larxene had seized staring at him and was giving her order about what the small group sent to get the drinks should bring. He started to lose at bit of the wariness but the feeling returned once Saïx turned his attention at him.

"So, what would you like? Something spirited for sure since we are generous enough to pay for it. Don't be shy," Saix asked. It was an innocent question, but Roxas had no answer.

He had mentioned he was underage several times, and they knew it, they hadn't forgotten, but it didn't seem to be a problem to them. This really didn't feel like the moment to start coming up with excuses why he didn't really need anything so he murmured, "I… I don't know." Roxas shrugged as casually as he could and hoping it would solve something. Of course it wasn't enough.

"Dearest, don't be shy," Larxene purred. "What's the matter? You have expensive taste or- or do you fear that we'd laugh at the choice? That one there drinks everything sugared 'cause he can't take the pure taste of al-co-hol. But we don't laugh at him, do we?" she pointed at Xemnas and to Roxas surprise, nobody sniggered nor sneered. She smiled at Roxas, waiting for an answer.

"Get anything you like for Roxas. Anything reasonable. I'm sure you'll manage that, Marluxia," Axel interrupted for the second time this evening an uncomfortable situation that Larxene was causing. Roxas was sensing some sort of brotherly attitude in the way Axel was watching over his wellbeing and it was annoying. He was thankful, but it reminded Roxas a bit too much of Cloud and Cloud was almost as bad as their mother was in taking care of everything. Both of them would've dragged him out of this place right away. Everything about this situation screamed dangerous. Suspicious, unfamiliar men and a woman, all thinking it was a wise decision to introduce the clearly underage teen to the group with the help of liquor.

But maybe the strangest in all was that Roxas didn't feel completely uncomfortable, just a bit nervous and unsure. He actually didn't want to be dragged out of this. Everything of this was alien to him, it was fully expected, but he wanted to be part of it. He wanted to be part of the group. If they let him in, that is.

The man with pink hair, Roxas was sure his name was Marluxia, rose up and left with Demyx to get the drinks. The rest waited in silence, which disturbed Roxas. He hoped, really hoped that the group would start talking like they had done before Roxas had arrived. Somehow all the conversation had died now and left Roxas looking around, watching the faces that were mostly turned to the direction of the group sent to order drinks. Roxas moved his hands restlessly, a smile frozen on his face and waited for somebody to say anything. He would gladly talk about anything to prevent awkward silences like this.

"Roxas, come here," Axel stated out of the blue. It wasn't just Roxas who was startled: The sudden order surprised everyone.

"Why?" Roxas asked. Axel had said the words all casually, but in this company Roxas wanted to be reassured about the intentions behind them before doing anything.

"Larxene is not the best company to you. This couch is a better choice," Axel explained in two short statements and nodded towards the sofa that Xemnas sat on.

Roxas looked around, hesitated. "I don't get it."

"Why on earth would somebody like to be near anyone like you, Axel?" Larxene asked and decided to take Roxas into a very warm embrace. She grinned maliciously at Axel and the grip she had on Roxas turned into even more possessive one. "You keep your hands away from him," she hissed and petted Roxas hair. "He's not going to join you over there."

Roxas wasn't stupid. He was clearly aware that Larxene did this to piss Axel off. Roxas knew he had to pick a side. Soon. Roxas interrupted the comment Axel had been crafting on. "I don't see too many reasons not to." He was simply disagreeing with Larxene because of the way she was declaring him her own. He wanted more space. He wanted to keep to the side he trusted more. "Not to move over there I mean."

"Oh no, you don't want to do that," Larxene reassured Roxas and smiled at him. "It's much nicer over here. Why would you leave my company? Change it into his?"

"Because he's the only one I know here?" Roxas suggested. Axel really seemed to be the safer choice between the two. Roxas rose up, managed to make his way to the other side of the table and sat down on the sofa. Xemnas moved to the other side of the seat allowing Roxas to be on the end that was closer to Axel. Larxene shot a glare at Roxas now, not liking the way he had taken a side in this fight.

The rising levels of hostility at the table were interrupted when their drinks arrived. A glass of something was laid before him, but nobody noticed the doubtful way he looked at it. Or so he thought before Axel whispered some advice what to do with it.

"It's not poison. Really, you can trust me," Axel said with a smile.

"I didn't think it was," Roxas retorted, but kept his voice down to the whisper.

Axel smiled in an annoyingly knowing way. "You won't get drunk with just one. And you have to get that one down your throat, but that's as much anybody will keep an eye on your drinking."

"Want to advice much?" Roxas asked, took the glass and sipped carefully. It tasted horrible, but he kept his face blank.

Axel laughed and at that moment Roxas realized that the sound of chattering had returned. It was only Axel keeping his attention fully on Roxas, the rest were continuing from where they'd been left before Roxas arrived. "I've been there, you know. I can relate to you situation," Axel told. "I'd advice against getting drunk today. It's not worth it. You want to listen us talk and get to know us."

Roxas nodded. He hadn't intended to drink anything today, as strange as it might have sounded. Mum would have been so proud of him. Thinking that it might not be safe to depend on strangers tonight. "What do you mean, been there?" Roxas asked to know more.

"Oh, this is a story we need Saïx' help. Hey, Saïx," Axel caught the attention of the blue-haired man on the other side of the table. "Get over here. Roxas wants to know the story of my first night with the group. Thought you'd want to exaggerate it with me."

Saïx sneered. "Any day and gladly," he announced and jump up to his feet to join them. He sat down to the sofa where Roxas was waiting. Roxas was rather unsure what the following story would be like.

"So it stars the unsure nerdy me," Axel began, using a bedtime-story-tone. "He sits in front of his beloved computer, chats with random people. Everything would have been fine in his little world…"

Saïx stepped in now. "Until one fateful day he gets invited to be part of a group beta-testing a new, interesting online game. And the one giving the introduction would be me. But everything was really thanks to Xemnas," Saïx nudged the man next to him to take part of the story time.

"Oh, you want me to tell how I was part of creating the Game?" Xemnas asked delighted. "It's a long story, but I'll make it short. A classmate of mine was part of the creative group behind the whole concept. I helped him with some ideas, I had experience with online gaming after all, and he thought it only polite to ask me to be one of the first players. I was given the permission to ask friends to join as well and so I did. That's how the clan was first established, Five others and I. Everybody is present and part of the group today."

"I was the seventh to join," Saïx explained.

"And that's when I got invited. The rest of the group was put together not long after I joined, we've been playing the twelve of us almost five years. But the story I was about to tell is about the evening after I was invited."

Saix grinned. "A night to remember. There were seven of us then, only half of us legal at the time."

"But that didn't stop me," Axel stated proudly. "Saïx will gladly tell more about the night since I don't remember all that much."

Roxas listened as Saïx told the story and soon many others wanted to share their experience of coming to the meeting. It was nice, Roxas didn't have to talk, he wasn't the centre of the attention but he wasn't left out. The night continued on, Roxas managed to get one glass down of whatever it was and managed not to refill it when others ordered more. Nobody noticed. Others were getting drunker and drunker as time passed, but it was almost midnight when Roxas decided it was time to leave.

"It's been nice but I have to go now," Roxas said and rose up when the chatter was quieter and there was a change of being heard. Axel looked at him like asking if he wanted company on the way home. Roxas shook his head firmly. Axel had taken care of him the evening, making sure in the start that he wasn't afraid and kept Larxene far away. The latter part was only because the fight between Axel and the woman and where Roxas had taken a side by accident. Axel really didn't have to do that much work since the rest of the night had been easy; the group had really taken him in and had kept telling stories about themselves without end.

The goodbyes were warm and Roxas left smiling. The man behind the bar gave a questioning look as Roxas passed him. It was clear that somebody like Roxas shouldn't have been in a place like this at the time as late as it was. But there was nothing to say since Roxas had been well protected by his company and was now leaving sober-looking.

Roxas walked promptly to the bus stop. He had luck, the night-time buses would take him home. The bus came after only a short wait and the drive took little less than the usual twenty minutes. Roxas tried to be as soundless as he could on the way up the stairs and he was extra careful when opening the door into the flat where Sora was hopefully sleeping. Roxas had sent a message some hours ago that he would be late. This late was not what he had intended, but hopefully there wouldn't be any witnesses to see the real time of his arrival. Sora went to bed early and woke early too.

The hallway had been cleaned, the place was silent and Roxas sneaked into his room. He turned off the lights still smiling. The Game was even more interesting than he had thought.


	11. Looking back at these friendships I've had

It was the best kind of day. The sun was shining, but a little breeze of wind prevented the weather from being too hot. School had ended what felt like eons ago, but they still had most of the summer ahead of them. And most importantly, it was only Wednesday and most of the sunbathers were somewhere else. Roxas, Hayner, Pence and Olette had the large grass field of their nearby park mostly to themselves. Only a lone lady sat on a nearby bench feeding the pigeons.

They had spread their blankets in the far off corner of the park, just in case if the nearby kindergarten decided to take the kiddies out of their playground to the park. Olette and Hayner were laying on one of the blankets and Roxas and Pence sat on the other eating chocolate-chip-cookies.

Many moments passed in a relaxed silence, but finally Olette opened her mouth. "You know what would be nice?" she asked and turned to look at Roxas and Pence who scavenged through the bag of cookies.

"A cookie?" Pence offered and offered the bag of cookies to her.

Olette just shook her head. "No. I want some ice cream!"

Pence shook his head. "But we have eaten ice cream every single time we have met. I'm sick and tired of ice cream. Have a cookie instead," he said and waved the bag in front of her invitingly. She shook her head again and Pence gave the bag to Roxas instead.

Hayner sighed and everyone turned their attention to him. "You know what would be even nicer?" he asked.

"More cookies?" Pence replied and this time threw the bag to Hayner. It hit the boy to the leg and some of its content ended up on the blanket.

Hayner laughed. "Well yeah, that too. But it gets boring after a while. I think we should get something to do."

"Aw come on, it's way too hot to do anything," Roxas said, shaking his head. He closed his eyes. He was content like this.

"Well, we could get water pistols and shoot each other. That'd be refreshing," Hayner pointed out.

This time it was Olette's turn to shoot the suggestion down. "Where are we going to get water? I know you took some water pistols with you, but it's no fun if they run out in five seconds," she said, but Hayner cut her out.

"We can do something else."

Olette glared at Hayner. "And second of all, you said you had only have three water pistols. It's no fun if someone has to sit out. I don't feel like finding a place to buy one more. Too much effort."

Hayner sighed. "You're right. Cookies it is," he said and got up to reach the bag of cookies next to him.

Roxas watched as Hayner stuffed the cookies into his mouth. "You know what would be the really nice?" He asked, and turned quickly to Pence. "If you answer even more cookies I'm going to hit you."

Pence just shrugged. "Less cookies?"

"Yeah, real funny," Roxas said, but didn't act his threat out, just shook his head.

"Roxas…" Olette sounded upset and Roxas felt a bang of regret. They had gone thought the matter too many times now. It looked like she'd guessed what he was about to say. "I understand that you're upset about it, but there's nothing we can do. We didn't have anything to say about our families' vacation plans and it was just a coincidence that all of us are away the same week."

"Conspiracy, I tell you!" Hayner yelled and Olette scowled at him. Hayner shut up and continued his cookie consumption.

"Hey, I'm serious. What am I going to do when you guys are not here to entertain me?" Roxas said. Of course he only half meant it, but even that was too much. He'd still have The Game and Sora if he needed someone to talk to, but without his gang he'd most likely just stay indoors 24/7 and do nothing more than surf the net all day long.

Pence crawled over to the othe blanket and took the bag of cookies from Hayner. He turned the empty bag upside down and shook it. Nothing came out. "I'd say 'eat cookies' but we just ran out of them."

"Thank goodness. I was getting tired of your one track mind," Hayner said.

"Don't be so mean. You ate at least half of them," Pence muttered and threw the bag back to Hayner. In no time it had turned into a weird game where they tried to get the bag stay with the other.

Roxas just looked at them. He honestly had no idea what he was going to do, but to gather moss in front of his computer. Here he was with his friends… feeling lonely? It was only a matter of few weeks. He'd be just fine. He had the Game and he had his new guild. Everything would be fine.

xxx

The phone was ringing. Axel ran through the rooms listening to the sound and trying to remember where he had left the damn thing. The sound would die any second now and finding the phone after that would be a pain in the ass. Luckily for him, he located it on the table before that happened.

"Who is it?" Axel asked right away and threw himself on the couch nearby. He crossed his legs and placed them on the table among dishes from yesterday. Some cleaning to do in the near future, he noted to himself.

"Hi, Axel. I'm going out to enjoy the summer. Care to join me?" Saïx voice through the phone asked, yes, there was a tint of amused to his voice. "I'll recommend you try to clean up the mess there. I almost got tired of waiting and called Larxene instead."

Axel snorted. "Yeah, right. You have no right to assume I haven't cleaned my place in days." Or in weeks. Axel looked around and saw a few days worth of dishes, but it wasn't that bad, not really. "As far as you know, I could have been hoping that you'd call somebody else. Don't assume you company is always wanted."

"Okay, then I'll have to call Larxene. What is it with you two anyway? I mean, it's been weeks already and you haven't gotten over whatever happened. I wouldn't be surprised if she'd tell me tonight. If you force me to ask her instead of you, that is," Saïx threatened.

"She won't," Axel shook his head though the gesture was useless. At first it had seemed a miracle that Larxene hadn't told anybody the whole story, but Axel had soon come to the conclusion that she was afraid the sympathies would be on Axel's side this time. Making somebody do something stupid while drunk was okay as long as the marks wouldn't be life altering, and tattoos really didn't fall into that category.

Saïx let a frustrated sigh. "Fine, keep your secrets if you want to. All I want to know is if you're going to join me or not. What are you going to say?"

Axel didn't feel like going. Even thought Saïx was probably a much safer companion than Larxene had been, the thought of losing control over himself wasn't tempting. At all. He'd had enough of it for a lifetime. Axel knew his drinking patterns. He'd say he'd have a bottle or two, but that would never be enough to satisfy him in the end. Eventually, he'd drink far more than his poor brain would handle and do something he'd regret, again. It wasn't like the Larxene-incident was the first one. Worst, but not the first. Axel sighed. Was there really anything he might do that would exceed the stupidity of the tattoos?

"Axel?" Saïx had grown bored waiting. "It's not a hard question unless you're trying to come up with excuses. Which would be the first one for you." Saïx laughed and Axel decided to chuckle along.

Axel needed to think something up and fast. Maybe work. It was always a valid reason to skip drinking. "I can't come tonight. Sorry, have to make a living," Axel refused the invitation. He checked the time, ten to six. Saïx was early with his request.

"Today's Saturday. You said you had the weekend free at the meeting," Saïx pointed out.

Damn his friends who knew when he had work and when he didn't. He could say that Tifa had asked him in on some extra time? Saïx would never buy it. Axel tried to be creative. He had to come up with something better very quickly now. Something that sounded like something he wouldn't want to give away as the first excuse. Something that Saïx would be satisfied with... He might lie he had some company with him right now. There would be stupid rumours about it, but they were old enough not to descend to the ha-ha-schoolgirl-with-a-crush-level. One night stands were something that did exist. And Axel wasn't that unpopular. In no time he had an almost thought-out plan.

If Saïx wasn't swallowing the excuse about work, so be it. Time to move on to the plan b. "It's not work," Axel stated boldly, waiting for an offended tone, he had been caught from a lie, but luckily for him, Saïx misread the situation.

There was an amused snigger. "I guess you had no idea it's Saturday. Should have realised earlier. A Friday without a need to be early up in the morning? Only one way for you to use it," Saïx said and then outright laughed. "You hide your hangover pretty good from your voice."

Axel was truly honoured. He knew he was a good liar, but to be believed even before he had had the time to tell the actual lie? That was skill. "I don't really feel like drinking anything today," Axel admitted and hid his amusement from his voice.

"The Axel I called knows the best medication for hangovers is a new load of alcohol," Saïx remarked. "Yesterday must've been rough."

Axel couldn't stop grinning as he continued exaggerating his story. "You can't even imagine." Yesterday hadn't really been that interesting. He had taken the morning easy, watching TV and eating ready-made-microwave-food for lunch. Axel knew how to make food, he really didn't set the whole place in fire while cooking, but laziness won once in a while. He hadn't bothered cleaning the place like he should have been doing and had planned. In the evening there had been work and after that… nothing. And a part of Axel wanted the story Saïx was creating in his mind right now to be true.

"Well, I'll pester you some other day," Saïx stated before hanging up. Axel sighed from relief. He'd managed the impossible. What made him afraid, though, was the fact that this wouldn't be the last time somebody wanted to ask him out to a drink or two. That was what everybody was used to do. And Axel wasn't plain out saying he'd lost his appetite for liquors for life. Only Axel's liver was grateful. The rest of him was trying to understand the consequences of this decision. His social life was officially dead.

Axel sat on the sofa for a while, held the phone in his hands and looked around. The place had gotten a bit messy, it was a fact that couldn't be missed. The mugs of coffee had started to multiply like rabbits. Some vacuuming might even be a good idea. And that was what Axel decided to do. He had some extra time on his hands now, after all.

There wasn't anybody he could call who wouldn't tell Saïx that his hangover wasn't that bad after all. Expect Roxas, but that would be somewhat creepy. He didn't know the kid well enough. Sure, he wasn't anywhere near as bad as he had first thought. They might even end up friends, but at the moment, too soon to call him and explain how lonely he'd gotten. Yeah, the thought did make Axel a bit depressed. He really didn't have anybody else but his drinking-buddies.

xxx

The evening in the Game had gone better than ever. It had also been the best time Roxas had had in The Game so far. Who knew that being a villain was so much fun? He had first hesitated killing someone smaller and weaker than he was, but the uneasiness had soon been gone. They were talking about pixels after all.

The group he had found – no, been found by – was interesting. The second time playing with them had made him determined to keep playing with them, no matter what sacrifices it took. Life as an evil white mage was so much more interesting and entertaining. He was now fully ready to step up to the challenge. When there wasn't a group of powerful good guys ready to challenge them the guild came up with something interesting, and usually very risky, to spend their night with. And it was Roxas' job to get them out of it alive. It was a challenge, seeing how self-destructive almost every one of them was, but it wasn't too hard. He just needed to keep his eyes open.

This particular day had started out normally and before Roxas had known, they were on the just-built continent to find the new and rare monsters just for the sake of finding them first. Unfortunately, there hadn't been the time to find all of them before many had to leave, work early in the morning, or some personal reasons they weren't sharing. There was no point continuing with only the half of the group present and Xemnas had called it a day.

That's why, at the early hour of eleven PM, Roxas closed his computer and stretched his aching muscles. He'd need to get new chair if he was going to keep having several hour long gaming sessions like this in the future. Roxas spun around a few times in the chair before his stomach decided to make itself known. Low growling sound informed him that he'd need to get something to eat before his body would shut down.

Roxas got to the kitchen only to open the fridge and find it empty. There were no leftovers to warm up or anything to put on bread. The only thing in the fridge was two litres of milk, but that wouldn't keep Roxas' hunger at bay. "Sora, have you eaten all the food?" Roxas yelled, wanting the other boy to go and get something from the store, but no answer could be heard. "Sora?" Roxas yelled again, but still no answer. "It was your turn to fill the fridge," Roxas muttered as he banged the fridge door shut. There was no other choice but to go and buy something himself. But first he would call Sora and complain.

His phone waited him on the table with the surprise of the week. Roxas had gotten almost twenty calls from no other than Riku.

Why would Riku call him? Actually, why would Riku call him eighteen freaking times? While Roxas stared at his phone in disbelief it rang again. Riku was calling him for the nineteenth time.

Roxas stared at the phone for a moment before he realised that he maybe should finally answer it. If Riku, who hated Roxas' guts, called him again and again... It had to be something really important and Roxas would later regret not answering the phone.

"Hello?" he asked without even playing to be happily surprised by the calls or the caller

"Thank god, you finally answered. What took you so long? I've called you-" Riku started whining, still managing to sound relieved at the same time. "Oh, whatever your reason I don't care. Are Kairi and Sora there?" Riku's voice sounded now more worried than Roxas had ever heard and every single witty response to the earlier complaints died.

It was utterly unusual for Riku not to know where Sora and Kairi were. Actually it was more than unusual, it was unheard of. "Calm down," Roxas said even thought he was getting worried too. "Neither one of them is here, I'm all alone."

Unfortunately Roxas couldn't put Riku's panic down. "You were my last chance. I've called every single one any of us knows and no-one has heard from them after yesterday. Where are they? We were supposed to meet three hours ago but they didn't show up. Then you didn't answer my calls and neither of them pick up. I was actually going to come there to see if Sora's still home, but if he's not there I don't know what to do," Riku was talking almost too fast for Roxas to have time to understand what the words meant.

"I already told you to calm down," Roxas tried to soothe Riku, with poor results. "What could've happened to them? I mean, both of them know how to keep themselves safe."

"No, they can't. Kairi could have gotten kidnapped; she's such a sweet girl. Oh god, Kairi could have gotten kidnapped and now Sora's there, trying to save her from unthinkable evil–"

Roxas had to cut Riku's worrying out. "Look, I know you're scared and stuff, but Sora is almost an adult. He can take care of himself and Kairi. No, Kairi will keep them safe. You know she won't allow anything to happen to them." He left the bit about Kairi keeping Sora's stupid ideas at bay out. Riku had seen Sora in his full speed and reminding him of everything Sora has done in his life might not be the way to calm him down. "You know, you can come here. I'm sure Sora will show up sooner or later and you want to be here to scold him. We might be able to come up with where they have disappeared if we think together. How does that sound?"

The time before Riku arrived Roxas used for cleaning and other idle moving, just so he wouldn't need to think of what might've happened to Sora. While talking with Riku, he had been the one not to panic, they needed someone to keep their heads and acts together, but that didn't mean that he wasn't worried about the whereabouts of his cousin.

It was up to Roxas to fix this. What they didn't need now was Roxas' mum running around in worry and calling the police, mounted policemen and border guards. Without her everything could be taken care in silence. Roxas didn't need her to be there and anxious about every little thing. He did miss the certainty, the way she'd say everything would be all right and then it would really be so. Alright and safe.

After ten minutes Roxas had gotten the living room table more clean than it had been in as long as the boys had lived there. And it still wasn't enough; he was wiping it for the third time when the doorbell rang. Roxas ran to the door ready to welcome Riku in.

It was Sora. Roxas stared at smiling Sora and Kairi in awe. They were all right after all. After a long moment where Roxas just stared Sora cleared his throat. "Do I have something in my face?"

All of Roxas' worry turned into anger. "Where have you been? Do you have any idea how worried both Riku and I have been?" he yelled, not worrying about how his voice echoed in the stairway. Both Sora and Kairi winced at how loud the noise was.

"Let's get in, shall we," Kairi said, grabbed Sora by his hand and led him inside. Roxas slammed the door behind them. He was seething with rage and Sora was going to get what was coming to him.

"You have better have a good explanation why you're out at this hour and why didn't I or Riku know about it," Roxas pointed out and sat on the couch, arms crossed. Sora opened his mouth to provide an answer, but the doorbell cut him off. Roxas rolled his eyes. "Riku's here and he's even more worried than I was. So why won't you open the door for him? I'm sure he's thrilled to see you safe."

Sora glanced at Kairi once but walked to the door. Roxas didn't turn to have a clear view of the door so he looked at Kairi instead, rising his brows questioning and demanding the excuses to be heard. Kairi sat down in the armchair opposite to where Roxas sat and raised both of her hands in a defensive gesture as Roxas kept glaring. "I know you're angry at me but please don't yell at us too badly. I know we're going to hear of it from Riku twice as bad as you could ever yell, so…" her voice trailed off as Sora and Riku walked into the living room.

Sora sat down next to Roxas, but the blond moved a few steps away from him and turned his head. Sora rolled his eyes at Roxas' reaction. "Come on, don't be so childish," Sora said and Roxas' eye twitched.

"You have no right to talk to me, not before you have explained yourself," he said without looking at Sora.

"Roxas…" Sora tried to apologise, but Roxas acted as if he hadn't heard him.

"Aren't you the one who's always so worried of what I'm doing and with who? Don't you dare to think you can just waltz in like nothing when you have worried both me and Riku sick."

Kairi stopped Sora from answering and starting a full-blown fight by putting her hand on his shoulder. "I think we need to tell them where we were first, you can have that conversation afterwards," she said and looked at Sora who just pouted.

Kairi sighed. "Looks like I have to tell this story," she said and looked around the room, finally settling at Riku's disbelieving face. She was telling the story more to him than Roxas. "It's pretty simple, actually. We were supposed to meet Riku at eight. Unfortunately Sora thought we were supposed to meet at five instead. So when he appeared on my door at ten past asking me why I was late…"

Roxas interrupted her. "Why didn't he call you?" he said and glared at Sora who just rolled his eyes. "What do you think? I didn't have my phone with me," he answered. Kairi cut the conversation before it could turn into another fight between the cousins.

"Anyway," she raised her voice and when Roxas didn't say anything she kept talking with her normal level of voice. "We decided to go to see the new animal shelter that had just opened up. We really thought it would only take around half an hour to see all the cute kittens and puppies," Kairi explained and smiled a little. "As you can see that wasn't the case. There weren't enough people to nurse all the puppies, you see, they had just gotten about hundred little Dalmatian puppies from some crazy woman who wanted to make a coat out of them."

This time it was Riku's time to cut in. "You can't be serious," he said and stared at Sora who just shrugged. "That just doesn't happen. No one is cruel enough to do that," Riku said. "Really, what were you doing?"

"At least that's what they told me," Kairi said shrugged it off. "Maybe it's the truth, maybe not. The most important thing is that the poor puppies needed our help."

"You have no idea how corny that sounds," Roxas muttered but let Kairi keep telling her side of things.

"So helped them to bathe and feed all the dogs, nothing fancier. As you already heard, Sora left his phone here so I should've called both of you, or at least informed Riku who was waiting for us. It is one hundred percent my bad, so please forgive me…" Kairi trailed off. The room was silent, more and more uncomfortably so.

"They were really cute puppies," Sora said after the silenced had stretched for some time.

That was the cue for Roxas to stand up. He walked to his room without out saying a word. At the door he turned and said: "You are an idiot. And an incredible sap," he said at Sora. "But I'm still happy neither of you were kidnapped."

After that he did nothing but fall on his bed, without changing to his nightwear or going to the shower. Even the hunger that had plagued him earlier had made way for exhaustion that took over his every limp in matter of seconds.

Worrying was a tiresome thing to do, especially late at night. That group of fiends would be the death of him someday.

xxx

For once the Seventh Heaven was not empty. It was not crowded either, only two men had come inside and currently sat on a lone table in the corner clearly arguing about something or other. Tifa was keeping the bar alone, Axel had once again managed to worm his way out of the day's shift. But he was supposed to do an extra one, so it was okay. It was a bit weird that he'd agreed to work extra on a Saturday. He was usually adamant about getting nothing between him and Fridays with friends… It wasn't her business to understand Axel, Tifa decided and turned back to the papers in front of her. She was still counting the bar's budget for the next month when no other than Aerith walked through the door.

"Oh hi, I wasn't expecting you," Tifa said, smiled and waved her to sit by the counter. "Don't get me wrong, there's nothing more refreshing than a surprise visit to work," she said once Aerith had taken her seat.

"I know. That's why I'm here," Aerith said. She looked around her, her eyes stopping to the two men in the corner. "It's been so long since I've seen this place. Have you done something to it? Everything seems... different, somehow," she said as her gaze travelled back to Tifa.

"Actually, I've done nothing but change the lightning," she answered. "Funny how much that changes. Do you want something?"

Aerith shook her head. "Oh, you don't need to."

"I know I don't need to. But I want to," Tifa insisted. It was truly nice to see Aerith. Maybe they'd once again be able to see as regularly as they wanted.

"Okay, if you insist," Aerith said reluctantly. "I have one apple cider."

Tifa made a face. "You walk into a bar and I offer you a free drink and you ask for something as regular as a cider? That just doesn't do," she said jokingly. Making fancy drinks was something she had learned to enjoy over the years working in the bar.

"But cider is everything I ever drink," Aerith said. "Actually, I don't know anything else. But okay, surprise me, then."

Tifa pondered for a moment what to make. On one hand Long Island Iced Tea would taste probably suit Aerith's tastes, but it contained way too much alcohol. The Mimosa would be perfect, but Tifa supposed that Aerith would freak out if she opened a bottle of sparkling wine. Therefore, the Black Orchid seemed like a perfect hit.

So Tifa just wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "You, darling, are in for a ride," she said and, as theatrically as humanly possible, took out all the ingredients. She loved the attention she got every time she did one of the less ordinary beverages. So she enjoyed every second when Aerith stared at the way she shook the drink and poured it in a glass. Just a petal from a pink chrysanthemum handily sitting on the counter and the drink was ready.

Aerith stared at her dark violet drink with disbelief. She was obviously out of words, But Tifa didn't know if it was because of horror or gratitude. She dared to hope for the latter.

Fortunately, when Aerith finally managed to speak she erased all of Tifa's worries. "Wow. This is beautiful. I don't think I can drink it," she said and just stared at her glass.

Tifa laugher in relief. "I made it for drinking. Besides it tastes better when it's cold."

Aerith dared to take a sip and her eyes lit up. "Oh. This is nice. Thank you so much!" she said and took another sip.

"Oh, you don't need to thank me. I'm just glad you like it. But be careful, no matter how good it tastes, it still has alcohol, so you can't drink them infinitely," she warned.

Aerith was just about to object, but the jingle of bells alerted both of the women to a new customer. Who was no other than Cloud. Tifa glanced at Aerith, but when she just flashed an encouraging smile Tifa waved at him. "Hi, Cloud," Tifa said, still a little reluctant.

He waved back at Tifa, but stopped when Aerith turned around. "Hello, Cloud," Aerith said.

From behind the counter Tifa could only see Cloud's face, but she could imagine Aerith's charming smile. Besides, his face was more than enough. Cloud looked like he had just sat on an ant's nest and like the bar was the last place he wanted to be. Tifa felt sorry for him. Aerith had told Tifa over the phone that she had met Cloud for the last time a day after she and Tifa had last met. Aerith hadn't told her any details, only that "nothing happened," but from the look on Cloud's face she could see it had been the most awkward thing of the century.

When Cloud wasn't able to do anything else but stare in silence, Aerith asked him to sit next to her. Unwillingly, he walked to the counter, but left one chair in between. Aerith just rolled her eyes and moved to the chair next to Cloud.

"So… Do you want your drink today to be sparkling or still?" Tifa asked, but Cloud only grunted. It sounded somewhat like "still" so Tifa gave Cloud a grapefruit juice. He took it without saying a word.

Tifa had no idea what to say. Talking about alcohol, especially about how good alcoholic drinks were, was not a sensible thing to around Cloud. Actually chatting about anything just between the two of them would be very impolite. But just sitting in silence would be pretty embarrassing. And on top of it both of the options would most likely make Cloud feel severely unwanted. In other words, they needed to talk naturally while including Cloud into the conversation. A task more easily said than done.

But someone needed to do it and since Aerith and Cloud had some previous issues it was up to Tifa to come up with something to say. And she needed to come up with it fast.

"Um... So how's Roxas?" she asked. It was the first thing from the top of her head and actually not that bad of a topic. It was something Cloud would actually talk about for more than three words.

But before Cloud could say anything Aerith cut in. "Oh Roxas, I haven't heard of him in a long time," she said and nudged Cloud. "Does he already have someone special in his life?"

This time Tifa was able to see his face. That must've been the most awkward question is was possible for Aerith to ask. Tifa almost congratulated Aerith, not everyone was able to have Mr. Stoic look like he'd seen a ghost. But as entertaining as it was to see Cloud struggling to find something to say, she felt bad for him.

"Aerith, that was not funny," she scolded her, but her whole heart was not in it and both of them could hear it. "It's not like Roxas to tell things like that to Cloud." She still wanted to send a telepathic message to her and thank her for trying to include him in the conversation. He still hadn't said a thing.

But it was too soon to say anything, as Cloud started talking. "You know, I can speak for myself," he said, surprising Tifa. So he had gotten over the initial shock.

Before Tifa could apologise for jumping to conclusions Aerith giggled. "Look, he talks!"

The men in the corner table turned to look at them. Cloud looked irritated. "I can shut up again if you want me to," he said.

Aerith slapped her hand to her mouth, but Tifa could still hear her suppressed giggles. "Sorry, you've just bee so quiet that it's a miracle that you speak. At all," she said, her hand still in front of her mouth.

"Well, you are being awfully silent today. Even more than normally," Tifa agreed even though she tried to do it as politically as she could. "It's fine though. It's enough to have you here."

Cloud crossed his arms. "Well, excuse me for not being as talky as you ladies want me to be," he said.

This time Aerith couldn't keep the laughter at bay. "I'm - I'm sorry," she said in-between of bursts of laughter. "I just can't imagine Cloud talking as much as I'd like him to."

It was pretty absurd concept. Cloud would not be Cloud if he talked as much as, say, Aerith did. The concept was more than absurd, it was downright laughable. But still, Tifa wasn't laughing, for whatever reason.

Her train of thought was cut out by the chime of the bell. She looked past Aerith and Cloud to see, who had come in, but saw nobody. Instead, the last two true customers had left.

"Oh look, we have the whole bar for ourselves," Aerith said. She waited for few seconds and turned to Tifa and smirked. "Funny. I thought that someone would come in the exact second I say there's no-one in here."

"You do realise that if someone came in I'd need to, you know, actually do my work," Tifa said playfully. She looked at the door for a while. She didn't want customers to walk in through the door now. Cloud was finally visibly relaxing and they could have so much fun just chatting the world away. Why did Aerith have to come on one of the days when Axel wasn't there? Then tifa could've just made him do all the work while she, Aerith and Cloud could've had their well deserved and long overdue night together.

She could afford closing early. She'd looked at the budget earlier today. She had money over. As the thought crossed her mind and she knew that there was only one thing to do. It was only Thursday. Weekdays would come and go, but how many times would she have the option to talk to Cloud and Aerith?

"You know, we don't need to sit here and wait for someone to ruin our night. We could go home to me house and cook something," Tifa suggested. She actually happened to have some extra ingredients for wok she was going to eat during the following week.

"You're sure it's okay?" Aerith asked a little hesitantly. "Cloud, you're going to come with us, no excuses," she said after Tifa had insisted that no, it would not cause any trouble; she'd be more than happy to and so on.

For a change, she could have an evening with her friends. Like old times.


	12. Knock, knock.

Roxas knew this was a bad idea, but he was also aware that he didn't have any better ones. Axel and he weren't exactly friends, but they had common interest in this matter and that should help Axel understand. There was the possibility that Axel would laugh at Roxas' stupid request and counsel the kid to return to kindergarten, but Roxas didn't really have that many choices now. He wasn't giving up now and he was definitely angry enough to have the courage to walk down the stairs and knock on the door.

Roxas really wasn't sure about what to say. He had managed to collect enough courage to knock the door and then stay put while waiting, but that was everything he had prepared. He tried to keep the fidgeting to minimum and keep the sure-about-this look convincing. Roxas wasn't a bad actor and he wasn't a freaking kid anymore, he could handle talking to a strange adult like Axel, even if mom wouldn't agree that was something he should do.

"Um, hi," Roxas sai even before the door had fully opened. He had seen the flash of red and hadn't meant to surprise the man, but he was a bit in a hurry and really didn't want to wait a second more.

Axel opened the door wholly, and looked at him his eyebrows raised. "What is it?"

Roxas couldn't allow himself to look nervous and therefore rushed into the explanation, not once stopping to breathe. "We have the meeting in the Game tonight and there was this accident and I need a computer. My computer is not exactly working right now. I mean, I can't play with it."

Axel look could be summed into a very emphatic 'what'.

"I know, sounds stupid," Roxas admitted, made a mental note to never ever do this again. Axel was looking very amused and that was not good, it couldn't be, oh god why had he even thought this was a good idea. It was too late to stop now. He kept going, trying to make the explanation make sense. "The thing is, my computer is dead and I need to get to the meeting. I've just gotten into the clan and if I can't make it," Roxas kept a pause and looked at Axel to see his reaction. "I need to get to the meeting."

"What do you want me to do? I'm really not the best repairman on the earth and definitely can't work miracles in the ten minutes we have," Axel said. Surprisingly empathetically.

"The computer got destroyed for good. Sora threw a whole bottle of soda on it and I don't think there's any hope," Roxas turned down the suggestion. Sora had stumbled on some clothes Roxas had forgotten on the floor and they had already been yelling at each other for almost twenty minutes about it before Roxas realised the only solution to this problem.

"So you… want to borrow my computer?" Axel asked figuring it out too.

Roxas nodded. "I thought that a white mage is more important than a blue and that you'd understand," he said and kept carefully watching how Axel would swallow the insult of sorts.

Axel didn't slam the door shut and leave him in the hallway, but instead blinked once and then grinned. "You really got guts. A white mage might be more useful, but I'm a damn brilliant blue mage and topping my abilities is nothing you can do," Axel said and kept a pause before adding: "No, I don't have a habit of messing up, the accident has happened only once. I'm sorry, there's no way I'll give up playing with my friends."

"Oh, okay," Roxas sighed and looked down to hide his disappointment.

Axel flashed a smile. "Hey, worry not, it's your lucky day today. I have an old laptop and I can play with it," he said.

Roxas was surprised even if this was the thing he had been hoping for. Axel was going to help him. "Really? You'll give me – What? You want to play with the old machine?"

Axel shrugged and grinned at the stunned boy. "Hey, you said it yourself. A white mage is more important. And you're still a rooky and need to have a computer that doesn't freeze suddenly. I'm talented enough to cope with a slower machine."

Roxas still couldn't believe the words. "You really mean to give me the better machine? I mean... Thanks! I'll go get the disk and – Do I need to get something else with me?" Roxas asked.

"Nope," Axel shook his head. "But hey, you should hurry. The meeting should start in ten minutes- nope, closer to five now and getting the other computer working will take a while."

"Um, yeah. You're right," Roxas hurried to reply. "I'll be back within seconds."

Axel nodded and went back inside, leaving the door open. Roxas stood there frozen for a moment and then went to collect the stuff he need with running steps. Axel was taking this so unbelievably great. Roxas night wasn't ruined because of Sora after all!

"Hey, I'm sorry!" Sora yelped once Roxas entered their home. Roxas didn't stop to tell him it didn't matter anymore and ran straight to his room. The computer looked still very much dead, but luckily for Roxas, he managed to get the disk out of its depths. Sora sneaked to the door to see what was going on.

"He agreed?" Sora asked as surprised as Roxas had just been when seeing what the cousin of his was doing.

Roxas didn't turn to look back when he replied. "Yes! He said he had a laptop he could use, but I'll need to hurry. Where are my headphones?" Roxas explained and looked franticly around. He found them hidden behind a pile of books, quickly took them them and was out of the apartment leaving a bewildered Sora behind.

Roxas slowed down once he was back at Axel door. It stood still slightly ajar and Roxas dared to venture inside. He closed the door behind himself as soundlessly as possible, which really started to feel stupid as he was invited and maybe should inform that he was here. "Axel?" Roxas called and peeked to the living room that worked as a similar knotting-point to all the different rooms in the house as was the case in Sora and Roxas' apartment.

The place looked like one from those photos that you'd find in art galleries titled something like 'the contemporary balance' or 'the urban moment'. Not that it looked like that was what Axel had been aiming for when furnishing and... decorating the place up. There was the sofa with I-used-to-be-almost-design metal ribcage and conventional beige coloured cushions. There was the obligatory sofa table ridden with books and papers and dishes. The room was full of stuff forgotten and left behind, dropped here and there to imitate life. To finish the photo off there was Axel with his red hair and all around atmosphere that he shouldn't live in place like this.

Roxas had somehow expected –without really knowingly thinking about it – something else. Colours, maybe the walls painted orange and a guitar somewhere. Those strange African masks and a couple of bizarre wooden statues? Maybe a bit overkill, but Axel didn't seem so normal – like this apartment.

"You were quick," Axel noted and flashed a smile. He'd come from the kitchen bearing a bowl of potato chips. "I've got only my usual snacks, but I think I might be able to share some. Anyway, the machine is in the room to your right, across the room. Nothing scary hidden in here so you can get over there safely and press the on button. Know how to do that, do you?"

"Your usual snacks?" Roxas repeated stupidly. "What do you have to do for not to get chubby when eating those amounts?" A lone bowl of chips wasn't too much, but Roxas managed to peek into the kitchen a see the mountain waiting there. It had to be more than what Sora brought when he had his friends come over and celebrate something.

"Like I'm telling you my secrets," Axel flashed a grin and then nodded to the open door on the opposite side of the room. "The machine's in there. We have some minutes of time left and I don't think you should just stand there looking lost. Even my computer has a regular looking keyboard and on/off-button. I trust you to know how to use it."

Roxas grimaced and followed after Axel. The computer Roxas was going to get to use was newer than Roxas' own, an expensive looking machine with shiny lights, and that was why he approached it carefully.

"It really does not bite you, you know," Axel laughed.

"I got some trauma with computers breaking up, a bit of compassion would be nice," Roxas replied and sat down in the majestic chair and turned the power on. "Are you really sure you don't want to play with this yourself?"Roxas turned around in the chair to see Axel fight with the laptop.

"Nah. I'm alright with this one. Really. Just be thankful, okay?" Axel said while trying to attach an extra numpad, headphones and a mouse to the laptop. He sat legs crossed on the sofa, the floor next to him used as table for several bottles of soda and a couple of bowls with salty stuff. Roxas nodded, but it was clear Axel didn't see the gesture. He was fully occupied with getting the older machine working in time.

Roxas had already started logging in when Axel got the laptop finally alive. "We're going to get there late," Roxas stated as he looked at the clock. "You especially."

"Like it's something new," Axel replied while typing his password. "Xemnas knows me."

"And I thought the Clan was known as an organised... organisation," Roxas pointed out. "I got the idea that being late was punishable by death."

"Larxene was given the orders to tell you about the basic rules?" Axel asked.

Roxas just rolled his eyes. "I know when someone's exaggerating."

"She never exaggerates. Remember that."

xxx

Roxas was bored out of his mind. He was sitting on the couch and flipping through the channels, but nothing seemed interesting enough. Only game shows, advertisements and pathetic people complaining about how terrible their life was now that their wife had left them or their grandfather died. It didn't matter which channel he ended on to. Roxas was all alone in the town, his friends were either out of the tiny city or out of the whole country and there was no-one else he could go to.

So doorbell ringing was a blessing. Roxas shut the television and ran to the door. He opened it and saw Sora and Riku outside.

"Hi Sora. Where are your keys?" Roxas said and stepped aside so Riku and Sora could step in.

"I left them there," he simply stated and pointed at the locker they held their keys in. "Got let through the front door by a neighbour." Both he and Riku kicked their shoes to the pile next to the door and continued to the living room.

It seemed like they would not entertain Roxas any further, so he went back to the television, put it on and continued numbing his brain to the sports channel. Basketball had never seemed as boring as at that moment. Not that Roxas had ever been interested in watching basketball.

Just as Roxas' brains were about to crawl out from his ear Sora's door opened with a great slam. Roxas was abruptly woken from his brain dead hibernation and he sat up. He hadn't even noticed that he'd practically fallen asleep on the sofa.

Sora couldn't apparently see him as he yelled hi name from the top of his lungs. Roxas hoped he had earplugs on.

"What?" Roxas asked and Sora saw him finally. He looked a bit sheepish. They were maybe five feet apart. There had really been no need to yell.

Sora opened his mouth to say something and Roxas put his fingers defiantly in his ears, but Sora just walked over to him and pulled them out. "It seems as if you were as bored as we are," Sora said. Roxas was about to answer sarcastically, but Sora was faster. "Of course you are. Now, we have nothing to do, so would you play poker with us?"

Roxas was still mentally sleeping and it took him a while to progress everything. His mouth was still faster than his brains and he managed to stutter out "P-poker?" before his head caught up.

"Yeah, poker," Sora said, not noticing or plainly ignoring Roxas' confusion. "It's more fun when there are lots of people."

Well, at least it sounded more entertaining than watching whatever garbage that happened to come out of the television. So Roxas agreed to play and even deal for the first round when Sora handed him the cards and said he'd get Riku.

Roxas dealt the cards and sat to wait, resisting the temptation to check everyone else's cards – hindered only by the fact that he didn't know when Sora would show up. And speak of the devil, Sora walked in with Riku. They sat on their places and that was when Roxas realised he had dealt an extra hand of cards.

"Where is Kairi?" he said. Somehow he hadn't realised that Kairi wasn't there. He must've been thoroughly brain dead.

Sora gave Roxas a blank stare. "Didn't I tell you that already?" he asked.

"Kairi has the flu, so she's not here," Riku answered for Sora without looking up from his cards.

Roxas just shrugged. "Okay. Give me your cards so I'll deal them again," he said and stretched his hand out to Riku.

Before Riku could give his cards to Roxas, Sora yelled "No!"

"Why not?" Riku asked.

"No reason," Sora answered.

It was not the first time Roxas and Sora played poker together and Sora's poker face was not the best. Roxas could practically see Sora's cards from his face. This time he had to have really good cards. That's why didn't want to give them to Roxas. He was so damn competent at times; they weren't even playing for money.

Not that Roxas was the one to tal.

"Okay, what do we do then?" Roxas said. He wanted to get to the game.

"We need to get one extra player. Go ask Axel," Sora said as if the answer would've been obvious.

"What? Why?" Roxas said at the same time as Riku said "Who?"

Sora turned to Riku and said, "You've seen him, you'll remember when Roxas fetches him." He looked at Roxas who was still stunned by the request. "I can go myself," Sora suggested which sparked Roxaxs into life.

"Oh no you don't! I'll go," Roxas said and stood up. It would be hellishly embarrassing if Sora just randomly appeared at Axel's doorstep and announced that they'd be playing poker together. In worst case scenario Sora would just babble about something… unpleasant and Axel would never let him live it down. No, it was so much better to do it himself and not risk Sora messing something up. Besides, it would be weird in so many different levels if Sora was the one to ask Axel when it was Roxas who knew him.

So Roxas walked down the stairs, two at the time and stopped next to Axel's door. He took one deep breath and rang the doorbell. For a moment he could hear nothing, and he started wondering if Axel was at home at all. Just as Roxas was about to turn around and return to repost to Sora the door slammed open.

Axel stood in the doorway with a toast in his hand. "What is it?" he asked, sounding annoyed.

"Well, we were going to play poker and I dealt one hand too much. Sora won't let me shuffle and deal them again, so would you like to come and play with us?" Roxas said.

"Why don't you just take the extra hand and shuffle it into the deck?" Axel asked.

Roxas stared at him for a moment. He must've been really, really brain dead not to realise that one. "You're right. Seems like my brain doesn't work today," Roxas said and laughed embarrassedly. He was an idiot.

"Don't sweat it, it happens to the best of us," Axel said and looked at his wristwatch. "Listen, kid, poker sounds like a blast, but we adults need to do our job. And unfortunately my job starts in about too soon, so I need to eat before I go. So sorry, you need to wait until another time for me to rid you of all of your money," Axel said, pointing to his half-finished loaf of bread.

"Okay, have fun at work," Roxas said and Axel closed the door. When no-one was looking Roxas buried his head into his hands. He had managed to make a fool out of himself, even without Sora's help. He'd really need to gather his brain from the floor or Sora of all people would end up wiping the floor with him. With this in mind he headed back to home to play some poker. Hopefully that wouldn't end as catastrophically as everything else.

xXx

"Uh-um. Yeah, you're right, it's been a while. I'm been busy, you know?" Axel muttered to the phone he was holding awkwardly next to his ear with the help of his shoulder. Speaking to the phone and opening the door with only one hand free at the same was surprisingly hard. Axel had been dragging groceries from the store to the empty fridge when Xigbar had called and was now somewhat stuck in the entryway. He really didn't want to place the bag on the ground in fear of breaking something. Axel cursed his inability to pack reasonably. Placing breakable stuff underneath everything else seemed like a very stupid decision right now.

"You don't have something planed tonight, do you?" Xigbar asked. "We've been speaking about a grand meeting for a week now, so this can't come as a surprise." The tone of the voice was accusing.

Axel managed to place the key in the lock and kick the door open with a rumble. "No, it doesn't come as a surprise," he admitted. He had been thinking about it for the whole week just like everyone. Coming up with a reasonable excuse hadn't been easy. It really hadn't. And therefore Axel had none now when he needed it. "I'm sorry, but…"

Xigbar wouldn't swallow any crappy lies now. Axel knew that his reluctance to drink anything with alcohol in it was showing through already. Xigbar's words made it very clear that it was the case. "What will the excuse be tonight? Work? What are you going to make us believe so that you'll be excused busy just especially tonight?"

Axel sighed. He had made his way up to his floor now and faced the last door, but that was least of his worries. "Xigbar, I'm not happy either that I haven't had the time to go out recently." It was no lie.

"Then tell me the real reason," Xigbar demanded. "You came to the meeting where we met the new kid, but nobody has seen you after that. You've turned every invitation down, and it definitely isn't like you," Xigbar continued in a tone that was… worried.

Axel chuckled. "I'm not dying or anything. There's no need to cry for my sake," he teased.

The door was conquered and Axel finally made his way to the kitchen. He placed the food and the sodas inside the fridge and for a while stared at the alien sight. There really was no beer there. No ciders, nothing with any trace or alcohol in it. This had to be the first time after coming home from the store that he really realised that there was nothing in there. It had been now a month from the moment he'd decided to turn into an absolutist and this was the result. He had slowly managed get over the side-effects, the days when the cravings had been bad and survived to this magic moment.

"Axel? Are you there?" Xigbar asked and that was when Axel realised the while had been a bit longer he had meant it to be.

"Oh, sorry. I just had to get the groceries inside the freezer," Axel muttered an explanation. "Did you say something?"

"You haven't given the excuse for tonight," Xigbar reminded. "Nor the real excuse for the other nights."

"The reason is not you, okay? I would really want to spend time with all of you guys if I could. And it's really not like I don't want to come tonight."

"You said that already," Xigbar stated.

"I guess I did," Axel laughed. "But you do get what I want to say. It has nothing to do with you guys."

"Yeah, you make yourself clear. But I want to know why you have suddenly a huge need to keep secrets and come up with bad excuses. I'm worried of you, really," Xigbar continued, his concern on display in his voice.

Axel leaned to the kitchen table. "I've always kept my secrets. It isn't that hard when surrounded by people like you."

"You digress. Keep to the point; I have to pay for this call. I want some information, not small-talk," Xigbar said.

"I really need to go. I'll explain you stuff later. Satisfied?" Axel was ready to end the conversation and continue sulking about the fact that he would be once again alone at home when his friends were out drinking. Hell, maybe he should admit that he couldn't handle his alcohol anymore and sit there sober when others were getting drunk. On the other hand, no, he would never do that. Either one of them, actually. There was no way he wouldn't be laughed at and teased and in the end converted back to his old ways. The first two didn't really matter, he was self-confident enough that he could shrug stuff like that off anytime, but he wasn't determinant enough to handle the pressure of being the only one not drinking. Being the only one sober wasn't that fun, it was something he had decided when joining the group. It had taken him half an hour to end up swallowing everything they were generous enough to offer him. And yes, he had gotten really drunk that night.

"No," Xigabar stated.

"No what?" Axel had already lot the red thread of this conversation.

"I need something to say to the others. And no, work won't do tonight," Xigbar said.

Axel had suspected something like this was up to the first moment Xigbar hadn't taken the first explanation. "So they made you call me?" he sighed.

"Not exactly, but yes, that's kind of the case," Xigbar confessed.

"I've made the wrong kind of friends," Axel muttered. "Say them that I can't come. Why would they need to more?"

Xigbar was quiet for a moment. "Is it Larxene?"

Axel was surprised by the conclusion. "No, it definitely is not her," he hurried to correct the misunderstanding. "If I couldn't handle her company, it would be her who's flying out the meetings. I don't expect that she'd have a way to stop me. That's if she was the reason. She really is not."

Xigar laughed but then a moment of hesitation made the conversation stop. Axel knew that he had to say a reason for tonight and keep coming up with good ones for a long time into the future too. Tonight was important. He needed something quick.

"Hey, do you know anything about Roxas?" Xigbar asked suddenly, as if he pitied Axel and wanted to give him one more moment to think. "He hasn't answered the mail that was sent about tonight."

"What? You sent the invitation to him too? He's what? Sixteen?" Axel was surprised.

"Didn't stop you from coming," Xigbar noted.

"Well, I didn't look as young as he does," Axel pointed out.

"Lanky appearance, a bit lost look in the eyes... I don't know if you looked as young as him or younger."

Axel let a sigh of relief he masked as one of frustration. Xigbar had unknowingly given him the best excuse yet. "I won't agree to that. But I do actually know about Roxas. His computer broke down. And that is the actual reason I can't come tonight. I promised to help fix it."

"Tonight of all the nights?"

"I didn't have any free time besides tonight. And the kid needs the machine to be able to play with us. I had to set things in the order of importance. Drinking is fun but so is playing without having to heal others all the time," Axel continued explaining with a grin on his face. "And we decided to do a mission after the weekend, so this reparation needs to be done tonight."

"That does actually make sense. You'll be laughed at, but I don't think it's something you haven't thought of already."

"I admit, I feel a bit stupid to have to be turned into a repairman, that's why I didn't tell you first, but Roxas' isn't a rich student so I'll help him out of sympathy." Axel felt the excuse start to sound more and more convincing every moment.

"I'm ending this conversation right now because I don't want to think about the bill. Say hi to the little one from all of us. And warn him that will have a new meeting probably in two weeks. Oh how I love the summer. It's nice that we can meet more often, now that the holidays are here for most of us."

Axel didn't agree, but did still let out an agreeing sound. "I'll say hi to him." He was pleased with himself. He had almost given into the urge of telling the truth before his senses returned. Fortunately. Now he had an excuse for the evening.

Axel sat down on the sofa and turned the TV on. He didn't really care about what he was watching, there was some commercials on now, and listened to the noise the machine was making, only to separate himself from the reality. What should he do now? He could sit here the whole evening if he wanted. Or go out walking. Which wasn't anything he'd do usually. The time he had now in his hands was a strange issue. What would he do, now that he had the time?

All that he had to do now was to make sure Roxas would testify to his alibi. That meant getting off the couch and walking one pair of stairs up. As odd as the following conversation would be, it would a lot easier than the one with Xigbar. Axel was positive that Roxas would help him out. They were... friends. As oddly as they had come to know each other, all it was past now and there was no hostility between them.

Axel walked the stairs up and knocked on the door. Soon followed the sound of someone hurrying through the apartment and the door creaked open. It was Roxas at the door, not the cousin, luckily. Axel wanted to explain his story only to the people who needed to know it.

"Hi?" Roxas asked. He looked surprised, as expected.

"If anyone asks, I was here tonight, repairing your computer. Have you bought a new one already?"

Roxas looked at him curious to know more. "Yeah, we bought a new one. And who do you expect to come here looking for you?"

"Hopefully nobody," Axel grinned. "Don't ask why, but I didn't want to go out drinking tonight and I needed an excuse."

Roxas was able to draw the line from that. "Are you speaking about someone from the clan?"

"Actually, everybody from the clan. They're having a meeting tonight. You got invited too, but I guess the invitation got lost when your computer was down," Axel told. "I was asked to say hi from them."

"They sent an invitation to me? They do remember my age, right?" Roxas was a bit suspicious.

"They couldn't care less about your age. They didn't care about mine either and I wasn't that much older. I'm sorry I turned your invitation down," Axel apologized.

"I don't mind. I wouldn't have gone anyway. I don't like drinking. They seemed all pretty interesting, but-"

"I won't judge," Axel said.

"I couldn't care less what people thought about my drinking," Roxas stated.

Axel laughed. Roxas smiled and leaned to the doorframe. The moment of silence went on for a while, but Roxas decided to end it before it started to feel silly. "I won't keep asking why you need to me be there to prove your story; I can do it without knowing the reason."

"Thanks. I'll get going now," Axel said and left. He opened his door and realised the TV had been left on. Being too lazy to search after the remote control, he sat down in front of it and let his brain slowly fall into a nice numb state of daydreaming.


	13. Interlude

Roxas lay on the sofa staring at the ceiling, listening to the sounds coming from the TV that was all but forgotten. Roxas hadn't been following the program airing for a moment now, it didn't matter if he paid any attention since there was nothing but reruns and an occasional word here and there allowed him to replay the episode in his head whenever he wanted.

Nobody had logged in all day and Roxas knew some of his friends would be away for an undetermined length of time – the joys of summer and families that took their children on travels to the other side of the world. Cloud, he and Sora had all gotten used to travelling when they'd been younger and at least Roxas wasn't envious about the thought of his friends taking sun on some faraway beach. He enjoyed the thought of staying in one place for once for a whole summer, Mum and Dad stuck abroad most of the year didn't encourage them to pack their suitcases and get going the moment they found time together as a family. The fact that Roxas didn't feel the need to travel didn't change the fact that other did and Hayner, Pence and Olette were all out of town, would be for five days more, and it was only Roxas and Sora and too many of Sora's not so little circle of friends that stayed behind.

"Sora," Roxas sighed and turned to look over the couch's back to see what his cousin was up to. "I'm bored."

Sora lifted his eyes from the magazine he had been reading sprawled on the floor. "You do look like you're starting to gather moss any minute now," Sora stated and returned to reading, but he didn't hide his smile very well.

If there had been a pillow to throw, Roxas would've known the perfect way to wipe that smirk away, but on as there wasn't he had to settle at glaring. "I need time to make friends and there's no reason for me to be an over-social-weirdo like you," he said and got Sora's attention.

"Come on, there has to be someone who's willing to spend time even with you," Sora said and did not manage not laughing at his own joke. Roxas pretended to throw a pillow and Sora pretended to dodge after what both smiled warmheartedly.

"Do you think I'd have called someone already if-" And then it hit Roxas. He had Naminé. Unfortunately, he didn't have the time to cover his realisation.

Sora turned his attention back to the magazine. "I knew it. Now stop complaining and call who-ever-the-hell-he-or-she-is. I'm going out with Kairi and Riku within the next hour."

In no time Roxas was sitting on their sofa staring at his self-phone. What was he going to tell Naminé? After all, it had been almost a month since they had talked. Roxas couldn't believe he had forgotten about her. He had just been so happy to be able to spend more time with his old friends that he had forgotten about his new ones. New one. And only when his old friends were unavailable would he call to Naminé. He was such a terrible friend.

It was still possible, that Naminé had something else to do. He probably hadn't given any need to wait his call. Most likely she had given up on hope, if there had been any, that he would want her company long time ago.

Roxas shook his head. The only way to really know if Naminé was interested in spending time with him was to call her and ask. In the worst case scenario Naminé had something else to do and Roxas would continue lying on his sofa and staring at the ceiling. On the other hand there was always the possibility that Naminé actually had nothing else to do and Roxas could get some company and something to do.

And so before he could change his mind, he dialled Naminé's number and pressed the call-button. And after the third ring Naminé answered. "Hi Roxas," she chirped.

And Roxas instantly realised he had been too absorbed in thinking if he should call her to think of anything to say. "Ummm... Hi, how's your summer been?"

"Oh, it's been great. And busy. This is my fourth and last week at the café. Just three days," Naminé said.

"I-," Roxas said. "I hope I'm not interrupting your work."

"No, it's pretty laid back in here. Besides, there aren't many customers around here at the moment," she said. "But, do you have something you need to talk about or did you just call to say hi?"

This was the tricky part. Roxas didn't want to lie to Naminé, but telling her that she she was the one he'd call only when there's no one else around... Yeah, that didn't sound like a good idea either. "Well... I just happened to think about you." Because Sora did everything but told me to call you. "And decided it'd be nice to see you. It's been a month already."

"Sure, why not? When would it be okay for you?" Naminé asked.

"Whenever it's okay for you. I have nothing that needs to be done today. Or the day after tomorrow. Or the day after that one." It was an understatement. He had nothing to do for a week, period. The next session in the Game was the tomorrow evening, and during the day he was not bored enough to clean, Sora was seldom home and Roxas had only the television and the reruns of reruns as company.

"Well, my shift is officially over at four o'clock, but I can get out as early as two..."

"No, please, you don't have to do that. I can wait a few extra hours." He did not want the extra guilt from taking her out of her job.

"It's no trouble. Actually, I'm more than happy to have a reason to leave a bit early. Besides, it's not like I haven't spent any extra time in here," Naminé said and laughed. "But maybe we could compromise?"

Roxas shrugged, but then realised she could not see it over the phone. "That depends. What do you mean by compromising?"

"Say, I'll get out of here at three o'clock and we'll see at half past. But not in a coffee shop. I'm sick and tired of coffee shops."

It seemed like it was Roxas' responsibility to find them a place to meet. And he had none. Every time they had seen each other outside of school it had always been in a café or at someone's home. But now his home was not at the shape that he'd be comfortable with showing to his friends, and it would just be plain rude to invite himself to someone else's home. But where else could they meet, preferably sit down and have a chat. They could always go to the park, but that was where Roxas tended to go with Hayner, Pence and Olette. Roxas would just be constantly reminded of why exactly he had called Naminé in the first place.

Okay, he clearly had some cleaning up to do. "Well, we could see in my place. It's definitely nothing like a coffee house," Roxas suggested.

"Sure. But hey, my boss is calling for me and I have to go. We'll see at half past three," Naminé said and before Roxas could say good bye she had hung up.

He just stared at the phone and sighed. Why was it so hard to keep one little apartment in order? It was such a pain in the ass to tidy it up after it had become as terrible as Roxas and Sora's apartment was. But there was Roxas could do but start cleaning, or else it would never get done.

xxx

It took Roxas three long hours, but finally everything was in order. And by in order he meant "stuff was stocked in closets and Sora's room". But hey, out of sight, out of mind. Besides, who could assume that a place that was inhabited by two teenage boys could be anything but messy?

He glanced at the clock. It was twenty past three. That meant Naminé could be there any minute now, so Roxas couldn't even turn on the computer and check everything for the umpteenth time. He could try and see if there was something interesting in the TV, but a quick shuffle through the channels shoved him nothing interesting or new, so he turned it off.

Roxas considered making tea for himself and maybe coffee for Naminé, but before he could decide against it he heard the doorbell ring. Naminé had arrived.

When Roxas opened the door he saw Naminé, wearing even more revealing white dress than usually. But really, what else would she do in the middle of the summer? She was smiling brightly and Roxas stepped out of her way. "Long time, no see," he said.

"A way too long time," Naminé agreed as she stepped inside. She hung her shoulder bag in the coat rack and looked around her. "You know, I have never seen this place as this clean. Did Sora finally learn to put his stuff to their right places?"

Roxas rolled his eyes. "You wish," he said.

"Where is he, anyway?" Naminé looked around her. "He wasn't here last time, and the time before that."

"Yeah, come to think of it, you haven't seen him in three months," Roxas said. He leaned on the wall.

"Has it really been that long?" Naminé said.

Roxas smiled. "I think so," he said. "Do you want something to drink?"

"Sure, but not coffee or tea. You wouldn't believe how boring even special coffees and tea can get when you drink nothing but them for a month."

"Oh yeah, how's your job?"

"Well... It's not as good as I thought it would be, but still pretty nice," Naminé said and shrugged. "If nothing else it has ruined coffee for me."

"Yeah, you mentioned that. What then, do you want to drink something else?" Roxas asked.

"I don't know. Depends on what you have."

Roxas didn't remember, so he walked to the fridge. Naminé followed him. "Well... We have some orange juice and a bottle of cola, if you want some," Roxas said. The cola was Sora's, but he wouldn't notice if they took some. And if he noticed he probably wouldn't care. If he cared... Well, tough luck.

"Juice is all right, but only if you take some too," Naminé said, solving the problem before it even began.

Roxas poured juice for two, leaving the empty carton on the counter. Someone was going put it in a trash bin at some point but not right now. He gave one to Naminé who had sat down to the kitchen table and took a seat right in front of her. "You didn't give any details of your work. Where are you working at, anyway? All I got from you was that it's a café," he said.

Naminé looked down to her juice and brushed a stray hair behind her ear. "Well, you remember how I missed that one class and almost flunked because of that?"

For a moment Roxas didn't know what that had to do with anything. Then it hit him. Of course, what else? "You got a summer job just so you could spend more time with the barista you have a crush on?" No, it didn't sound any less insane when said out loud. On the contrary. "What is going on in your head?"

"What do you mean?"

"That's... That's stalking! You can't just randomly pop into someone's life," Roxas said, shocked.

"Ha, this is nothing. I only meet him in the café and that's going to end after the summer ends. I mean, I'll still be going there and buying coffee, but it's not the same. Besides, he has a blond, cute girlfriend of his own age who comes there at least twice a week. And then he goes to sit in her table and..." Naminé's voice trailed off.

"I still think that's stalking."

"No, stalking is when you 'randomly'-" To Roxas' amusement she actually did do the air quotes. "Meet someone in several different places several times during a short period of time."

"No it's not. That's just a coincidence."

"Sure, but how many times can you really believe it's random and not stalking? I'd say… three."

Roxas thought back. "Not really. It only felt like stalking on the fourth time." He noticed what he had just done when Naminé stared at him.

"So… Am I to assume you have some previous experience on this subject. Please, do share." She smiled deviously.

"I might have accused someone of stalking after four honestly random encounters."Roxas gave Naminé a brief summary of what had happened between him and Axel during the last months. Naminé sat quiet the whole time, but when it seemed that Roxas had quit speaking it was her turn to talk.

"Okay, that's definitely stalking. I can't believe you didn't tell me about this. You just said you met him a couple of times, but that's not what happened, is it?"

"Well... It kinda slipped my mind…. We'd already sorted it out when you two met at the café." Kinda. It was the truth, that it had slipped his mind. It really had. It had stopped being an issue.

"But you don't know what might've happened… Your stalker…"

"Axel. You know him."

"I've met him. Well, you can't know what kind of ulterior motives he might've had. The world is full of all kinds of fucked up people. You should've told someone of his stalking," Namine said and there was something… motherly in the way she spoke.

Roxas felt like hiding behind the sofa and he knew that Naminé saw that. She threw her hands in the air. "Fine, don't listen to me. Let's talk about something else, see if I care." She folded her arms and leaned to the back of her chair. When Roxas still didn't say anything she sighed, took a deep breath and started talking. "Well, as for my new job and my …co-workers, not everyone is as likeable. There's this one guy who never comes on time and who I'm almost certain can't count for more than three…"

In fifteen minutes Naminé had gotten Roxas back into the conversation, and they were soon back to the sheer delight their reunion had been in the beginning.

xxx

Sun shining, a clear sky and the perfect breeze for a midsummer day accompanied Cloud and Tifa on their walk down the street. The new kind relationship growing between them was only taking its first steps, but it was there, there was no denying about it anymore. Cloud stubbornly insisted that there was nothing that should change, but Tifa had taken care there was occasional reasons to spend time together, eat lunch at the same time, walk to the store, small things that Cloud could easily accept as normal. It wasn't like all the business with Aerith had been completely forgotten, it was a slow process getting fully over it, but on days like this it was surprisingly easy to put it aside. Tifa had managed to revive her friendship with Aerith and it was now Cloud who felt unsure where he stood. Tifa reassured him daily that they didn't need to think this as anything romantic – yet - but Cloud really wasn't oblivious to the fact that he allowed himself to be fooled into this play of dating. The detours their walks down to the store were quite obviously longer time after time.

Today's excuse had been the same Tifa had used last Wednesday. Cloud really didn't care or had chosen not to mention about it, he had only shrugged when been given the orders of accompanying Tifa to collect some new decoration for the bar she had ordered. She insisted that the place needed something that would turn it cosier – Its current state was reputedly old and dated, even if Cloud didn't see it. They had visited a store with a very bewildered shop assistant – who insisted there had been neither orderings nor deliveries by or for them - on the Wednesday week ago. This week the story was the same and Tifa acted furious by the incompetence, once again.

"I can't believe it!" Tifa muttered and glanced at the closed door as if the look could make its way through the glass and the distance. "I really didn't expect they could make the same mistake twice-"

"Wait, Tifa," Cloud said and hushed her. He nodded ahead of them. "There, next to my motorcycle." She stopped and turned her attention right away curiously to the direction Cloud had pointed.

"Who's she?"

Cloud shook her head and gripped Tifas hand to stop her from greeting the girl crouched next to his motorcycle admiring its surface very closely. "We need to catch her. I have a few questions to ask," Cloud stated.

Tifa looked at him questioningly. "You said you didn't know her."

"I don't!" Cloud said and once again nodded towards the girl. "Look at what she's doing! She has to be the one who did the scratching job on my bike the last time too. I have to know what it is, why is she attacking me, what have I done to deserve this and-"

Tifa listened, nodded once she had looked more closely what was happening and understood what made Cloud so restless. "What do we do?"

"You keep walking, I'll slow down. She shouldn't be that alarmed if you walk by…" Cloud suggested.

"If I was committing an act of vandalism, anybody would send me running," Tifa pointed out, not really taunting the stupidity of Cloud's words.

Cloud kept fidgeting. "True. If we run over there and try to catch her the traditional way of tackling her if she runs?"

"I don't see that many options here," Tifa agreed.

They agreed that Tifa should be the one that would try to reach to the other side of the girl, she was the less alarming after all. Cloud would wait in the other direction, closing the other means of escaping. They plan was an easy one and worked miraculously well. The girl destroying the surface of the bike noticed Tifa after she had almost walked past her, making it easy for Tifa to suddenly jump close and grip her arm.

"Why?" Cloud asked angry immediately he had reached them and watched the girl try to skirmish away. Tifa easily overpowered her and the way she tried to claw her way from Tifa turned out to be completely useless. "Why?" Cloud asked again and this time the girl looked at him.

"None of your business!" she hissed like it was she making the accusations now.

"It's my motorbike!" Cloud stated and his tone made her flinch.

Tifa stepped in to let Cloud breathe. He was fuming dangerously. "Why are you doing this?" Tifa asked, her tone hard, but less angry than Cloud's was.

"It's something personal," the girl admitted and kept defiantly glaring back. Tifa still had a secure grip of her arm and wasn't letting go before answers.

"How can it be personal when I don't know you?" Cloud asked, not easily pushed aside from this conversation.

The girl darted her attention back and forth between her captors. She was acting brave, kept her head high even now. "It was a mistake! I thought this was somebody else's bike!"

Cloud let a tens laugh. "How could you make the mistake? There are hundreds and thousands of motorbikes like this one…"

"The mark that is painted on it," the girl said and pointed at a square that had several characters written in it with red. Cloud looked shocked by the reason the girl gave and wasn't able to give an answer.

"What does that mean?" Tifa asked and pointed at the picture painted on the bike. There was a few scratching marks around it, the damage the girl had already managed to make.

"I don't know," admitted the culprit. "It was something that I remembered his bike from. And I know he painted it himself, there shouldn't be a second one!"

Tifa turned to look at Cloud. "Cloud? Do you know where that mark came?" she asked, really hoping that he could pull himself together, not break down and force her to get this mess solved. She had no idea what was with this girl and Cloud wasn't a great help even now that he kept himself together.

"Zack… Zack painted the first one. This one is a poor copy I had to draw when… the original was destroyed," Cloud said, staggering a little and all the while staring at the logo. "It relates to the place we… met. Shinra."

"Zack?" the girl asked, once more trying to pull her arm free from Tifa's grip. "I remember you! You were his friend!" she suddenly managed to connect faces from the past. "But you didn't have a motorbike then… Why did he have a mark like that if it's a sign how you met?"

"It's a logo. Logo of the place we both… knew," Cloud said, wording the thoughts carefully. "He painted it on my bike just before that day." Very few knew the complete story about Cloud and Zack and what had happened, but Tifa was one of the privileged and one to know Cloud shouldn't be the one to tell it to the girl.

"What do you have against Zack?" Tifa asked to take away the attention from Cloud.

The girl snorted like the question had been somehow a very stupid one. "He destroyed my marbles."

"What?" asked Tifa dumbstruck by the words. Cloud lost control of the glare and looked very bewildered.

"You heard what I said!" the girl cried out.

Tifa shook her head and looked at Cloud hopping that he would know what to do now.

"I'm not crazy!" the girl stated. "He ran over my poor marbles with his motorbike and-"

"Zack wouldn't do something like that," Cloud shook his head.

"He did! I lived next doors and used to sit there on watch him take care of his motorbike. I was there when he painted the mark, I was there when he polished the surface. I was there playing with my precious marbles the day he left and drove right over them, scattering them everywhere and breaking so many of them!" she suddenly started explaining.

"It was a mistake!" Cloud declared.

"No it wasn't! He just laughed and said he was sorry and then left. He was 'in a hurry'," the girl said.

"He apologized?"

"He didn't mean it really," the girl said sure about herself.

"Why are you still trying to destroy his bike? It must've been years ago! You don't look like someone who still plays with marbles."

"I've succeed only once," the girl admitted. "He moved away right after that accident. The coward. Could handle the fear of my wrath!"

Tifa started draw lines and the picture of what had happened started to clear up. "When did he move away?"

"I don't know. It's almost two years."

"Would it happen that he disappeared around the July?"

"Yeah. Somewhere around that. How did you know that? Are you his girlfriend or what?"

"No, but I knew him though. He was no coward and would never have intentionally hurt someone's feelings. Think of it. Did he really mean to break your toys?" Tifa asked in a soothing tone, smiling just a little to make the girl relax a bit.

"He died," Cloud stated. "He died in July. That's why he never came back."

The girl went silent. But only for a moment. "I- I –I didn't know," she went on like a broken record, clearly upset about the truth. Suddenly the whole act of toughness disappeared. She didn't want to look into their eyes and it was almost like she was crying. "Okay, I'm sorry! I won't ever do this again. I did not know!" she sobbed.

"Hey, it's not like we're accusing you of his death!" Tifa tried to calm down the girl, surprised by the reaction. She loosened her hold on the girls arm and tried to make an eye contact with her, not succeeding in it. The girl obviously felt the degreasing of pressure on her arm and tugged it free. She jumped away from her captors and lifted her head proudly up again. There were no tearstains.

"Sorry! I'm truly sorry!" the girl yelled and started running. She disappeared behind the street corner before neither of them thought of catching her again.

"So. Mystery solved?" Tifa asked and stared at the spot where the girl had just stood.

Cloud nodded, stunned by the sudden departure.

xxx

"Yeah, I know," Axel stated firmly, not giving the advance of a moment's hesitation, and continued on as he had continued the whole evening; repeated his excuse over and over again, changing a word here and there, and always ending with the same, "I know I should be there, but I can't tonight."

"Yeah, right." It wasn't all that miraculous that Saïx didn't believe a shit Axel said. He, if anyone, knew Axel throughout and this conversation was nothing but playing cat and mouse around the lies that Saïx didn't want to catch or allowed Axel to tell for reasons unknown. They had known each other for too long. "What's the story tonight?"

Saïx had to know Axel was up to something and seemed to trust that Axel would tell the story once it was safe to do so. Axel had let Saïx on his plans almost every time. There was only two things Axel had never told the truth about; both nights that Axel had spent in Larxene's company had neither ended up comfortable in anyone's bed like he'd allowed Saïx to believe. It had been years since the first accident and several months now from the last one.

Axel snorted and tilted his head to stare at the ceiling. "You can tell them I babysit Roxas tonight," Axel said jokingly and was pretty much giving on the hope to come up with anything reasonable, but from the laughter he knew that he had given an excuse that had been approved.

"Suit yourself. Babysitting it is then."

xxx

Roxas had, like usual, not left home to spend the Friday-night someplace noisy. It wasn't like he hadn't had any invitations or that he didn't know where to go, but there was something that Roxas still liked about family-Fridays. They were uncomplicated. Roxas didn't care about the complex going-ons or the webs of relationships that one should know or end up left out. He could've gone out with the clan if he'd wanted. He had gotten the invitation again, but declined it without too much thinking.

He chose to spend the night with Sora.

"Movie?" Sora asked though the question was unnecessary. He had gotten out earlier this evening and rented something for them to stare at for the rest of the night. Roxas didn't know what, but nodded nevertheless.

It was when Sora had just managed to find the remote controller and gotten the DVD in the player that Roxas phone rang. Roxas' first guess was a wrong number since he didn't recognize the number on the display. He picked the phone from his desk and returned to the living room before answering it.

"Hello, darling," said a female voice.

"Um...I think you've got the wrong number-"

"Roxas, don't you recognize my voice? I'm disappointed," she said in a way that sounded very much like Larxene.

Sora looked curiously at him since he didn't hang up the call. Roxas raised his hand to signal patience. "How did you get my number?"

"It wasn't that hard to get. Don't feel all flattered now," she answered. "So, how's Axel?"

"What? Why do you ask me-"

"He's there babysitting you, isn't he?"

"Babysitting?" Roxas had no idea what Larxene was babbling about, but wouldn't be surprised if Axel was to blame. He'd appreciate if he'd be warned about when he was to be the cover up for him though.

"He's words, not mine," Larxene laughed.

Roxas rolled his eyes and Sora gave him a questioning look once again which he dismissed. "What do you want?" he asked Larxene hoping she'd get to the probably nonexistent point someday.

"Oh, we were just worried if Axel's going to be alright."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"Oh, he has a... habit of getting himself into problems when alone with somebody," Larxene said and Roxas guessed she meant that Axel got himself into trouble when with her. Or at least that would explain a lot of things.

"Obviously he's not in trouble right now," Roxas said. He wanted to begin watching the movie already. Maybe it was because Axel's influence, but he didn't like Larxene all that much.

"Oh and how do you know that?" Larxene taunted.

"I just know," Roxas said and hung up.

Sora was watching over the back of the sofa. "Who was that?"

"Just someone I know from the Game. No one important."

"Who did he think was in trouble?"

"She. She thought Axel was here."

"Why?"

"How should I know?" Roxas said and sat down to the sofa. "Actually, I think he told her that he was here babysitting me."

Sora looked puzzled, but didn't say anything.

"Yeah, I don't know either. Let's just watch the movie, okay?"

Sora looked at Roxas for a moment, but finally he did push play and the movie began. Unfortunately Roxas didn't pay much attention to the movie. He just thought about what he'd say to Axel. He should really think twice before he used Roxas as an excuse for something Roxas didn't even know he was doing. Or at least note Roxas about it before hand. He was so going to call Axel at six AM to yell at him for this. That way Axel would know how it felt when something was interrupted.

Still, Roxas knew that Axel had a good reason for not going to the meeting. He had to. That guy worshipped the clan. Whatever it was, it didn't matter right now. He'd probably give an explanation next time they'd meet.

xxx

Roxas yawned contently and reached for the skies with his hands. There were only few clouds occasionally passing over them, giving shelter from the frying sunlight. The perfect day for finally hitting the beach, Olette had made that one clear on the phone this morning, and Roxas couldn't agree more. They were expecting a beach filled with people, but the day proved to be a windy day. A really windy day. The sand on the beach kept moving in dynes, small sandstorm passing them at regular intervals. And it seemed like most of the regular guests on the sandy heaven had thought to leave the place early today. Roxas and his friends had almost the whole place to themselves.

"This is heaven!" Hayner sighed contently and choose a place where to build their camp. Some small tornado wasn't clearly enough to make them forsake their beach-trip today.

"It really has been too long," Pence stated smiling and placed the bags filled with their sandwiches and drinks and cookies down next to the blanket Olette had brought with her. She tried to find out a way to hide from the sand-grains that just wouldn't stay nicely on the ground today. The only working solution she came up with was to keep near the ground and to keep her scarf close, making a small shield of it when a bigger sandstorm passed.

"I doubt that we can play any beach volley today," Roxas said while he looked over the empty area. The waves hit the shore high, white-headed and strong. The water had never looked a welcoming. "Race to the water?"

The challenge was accepted and soon enough they had their stuff nicely tucked inside the blanket to protect it from the weather and were running across the burning sand. The water was cold, not ice-cold, but freezing enough to make them shiver hard at first. Roxas dived beneath the surface, trying to get rid of the sand in his hair, but managed only to turn it into mud that clustered and then stuck fast and safely. Olette laughed at the sight when she saw Roxas rising out of the water and shaking off some of the mud, but leaving his hair in otherwise desperate condition. She stood up to her waist in the water, her hair still dry and shining in the sunlight.

"This is summer!" she delightedly decided and continued walking towards the deep sea. She was soon swimming among the waves, still keeping her head high and dry. "Come on, boys! Don't be afraid of the water!"

Hayner was there immediately, disappearing for a moment beneath the surface and trying to surprise the girl from behind – and failing miserably. Olette was swift in the water, dancing away and smiling at the boy chasing her.

Roxas stood Pence with him near the shore, not even waist deep in the water, and watched their friends swimming closer, soon starting to run in the shallow water. Olette was uncatchable for Hayner, that much was very clear. She sprang past Roxas long before Hayner reached them and Roxas decided to join the chase, to aid Hayner a bit. She laughed and dived into the deeper water to get away.

"Tag!" Hayner huffed as he passed Pence and planted his hand on Pence's shoulder. Before Pence had had the time to nudge the tag back, Hayner dived out of the way, splashing an admirable wave of water in the air at the same time. The later was all that saved him, Pence was after Hayner as soon as the surprise wore off.

Olette and Roxas had seized their chase to follow the happenings on the shore and swam still among the waves, both smiling. "Never too old to play tag?" Roxas asked and Olette shook her head.

"We need to go help Pence," she then said and was gone the next second just to dive up many feet away. Roxas allowed the waves to float him closer to his friends. There were no rainclouds today. The salty seawater tasted just as awful as always. He'd missed this.


	14. What are the odds, indeed?

Axel had felt powerless the whole day. It wasn’t like being tired, not even like exhausted, but something else altogether, something subtle. He’d woken up to realize there was nothing he should do that day. There was food in the microwave and he’d even done the schoolwork that he had to. He’d written the essays yesterday, and he’d even managed to personally deliver them. He had his life in control – almost.

Somehow, everything still felt out of place today and all he could think about was how he had ended up this messed up. It made no difference how many times he asked that question, again and again it kept hammering its way through his head, leaving a mild headache after it. He didn’t seem to come up with an answer he was happy with. Everything just felt wrong and he didn’t know how or why or what he could do about it.

He felt – miserable. It was not that kind of sadness that made you cry. No. It was more of the kind that made you angry and cranky and still didn’t let you to just scream it all out. He was left steaming in is misery. He was restless and he was tired. He didn’t have the energy to do anything.

Was it because his friends weren’t there to cheer him up? No, cross that. They would’ve drowned all his misery by pouring him enough of drinks to make his head spin without even thinking about the ‘why’s and ‘how’s. Reasons didn’t matter since the cure ala booze worked.  It had always worked and somehow it wasn’t working anymore. Might have something to do with the lack of liquor to pour down the throat.

Axel had been happy. He really had been happy for such a long time that feeling this _powerless_ felt so... foreign? Maybe all this was just because he just needed to sulk once in a while? Maybe that was all there was to this new, miserable phase. Maybe.

Axel didn’t feel like cursing his fate, he was unable to even feel really angry or especially emotional. He just lay on the couch staring nothing specific, trying to find the perfect angle to cross his arms at, not finding the solution this one easily either.

He had the looks. He was handsome, maybe somewhat pretty, nice-looking, he knew that. Shit, he had been popular among the ladies through his whole career at the bar, and Tifa had joked about Axel’s popularity uncounted times; how he managed to get a little bit extra with every wink and grin never seized to amuse her. Axel knew how to attract attention. He knew how things worked out and how one expected him to act. He knew.

Days at high school hadn't been his favourites. He had been not so popular, tall and lanky, little lost. Axel stretched one hand as far as he could reach to simply look at it. Bony wrist and long fingers hadn’t left him even to this day, but visits to the gym during the years between now and then hid some of the nerd. He hadn't been an outcast during his years at high school, nor had he been the popular kid, and he'd been just fine with that. He had his friends - mainly Saïx at the time - and they had been just enough.

Saïx had brought him to the Game. Saïx had told him about the clan, invited him along. That had been what changed the course then. Suddenly, he was part of a clan with seven members – only for the first month or so, then it quickly grew to the thirteen it had been to this day - and he had felt like an adult, with his own friends, his own world. It didn't matter what happened in the real world. That place was useless. It was the Game that made the young Axel's world. It was in the Game that he had felt at home and where he had his friends.

It was in the Game that he had his life to this day. He had the same friends there still after all these years. It was with the help of the clan that Axel had gotten the job at Tifa's. If they hadn’t known through the Game, Vexen would’ve never hinted about the place at some bar of his friend’s daughter with some very special payment arrangements. Axel had never even thanked him.

It was with the help of Tifa and the money she paid him that Axel had been able to afford this place. He couldn't have even thought about taking a loan like this if it wasn't for a stable job somewhere.

The more he thought of it, the clearer he could see that his life wasn’t even a mess. His life was just fine. And never had he felt more miserable than now. Here he was staring out of the window, listening to the hum of microwave, feeling pathetic. He was not even miserable enough for it to amount to something in the eyes of others.

Today was a silent day. The rest of the clan had gone out to party and Axel had declined the invitation. There were plenty of rumours around about the reason why, but none of them where right at the moment. Axel was all alone when his friends thought he'd found more interesting crowds to spend time with. Not that they could have been more wrong. Axel had found nothing and he'd lost everything since the decision to leave the booze-odour-y life behind.

Why had he wanted so badly to join into a group that could disappear so quickly without knowing that in advance? Why hadn’t he known all would end up like this one day? He should have known. Maybe he knew. Shit, he had _known_ , but had no need to prove himself a hypocrite now and really agree with that.

He closed his eyes and gave a dramatic sigh just for the fun of it. He then blinked. Had there been a knock on the door? It happened again and Axel got up quickly. He hadn’t expected anyone, but he still had a hunch who it might be and he felt a smile creeping to his face.

Roxas smiled immediately as he saw him. There was a simple greeting after which Axel noticed that Roxas hadn’t even bothered to put shoes on. “What is it?” Axel asked.

Roxas looked suddenly a bit distressed. “Is it a bad time? I don’t want to disturb,” he said and was already backing off.

“Hey, don’t worry. I’ve only my gourmet-lunch there waiting for me,” Axel said and lifted his hand to calm Roxas down. Whatever it was that Roxas had to offer would be more entertaining than what he had in store for this day. “I don’t think I’ll even notice if it gets a bit cold.”

The boy looked happy again and Axel realised he was relieved about this. “Oh, that’s good then. Sora’s birthday is today and it looks like we’ll have leftover cake. There are simply not enough of us eating it and we thought you might be interested in helping with it. Or Sora thought. Thank him if you decide to come,” Roxas told with the words mushing together. Was the kid nervous?

“You have people invited up there and you can’t still eat one cake?” Axel had to ask. This was interesting. Axel couldn’t stop thinking that this really couldn’t be the whole truth.

“Well, there are only four of us. And there’s two,” Roxas explained without really explaining anyting.

“You mean you got two cakes?” Axel asked when he felt the light bulb light up. Four guest, two cakes – it made no sense.

Roxas shrugged like it was no big deal. “Sora couldn’t decide. He wanted one with strawberries and one with chocolate and didn’t want to mix them.”

Axel laughed. “That’s- I don’t know. It looks like you planned to invite your neighbours right from the start. Although, I don’t get it. Why not invite more people over if you want a kiddie-birthday with too much cake? He seems like he’s popular enough.”

“Sora did promise to invite more people, but I think he honestly forgot,” Roxas admitted, looking a bit embarrassed. Maybe calling this thing as a kiddie-thing had been too harsh? The boy did make a deal about his age from time to time - was it now making him embarrassed? “Besides, it might’ve been that he wanted to give me an excuse to invite some of my friends. Maybe he has finally realised that I’m not that interested to spend the whole evening with just his friends.” Once again, too many words in a mouthful.

Axel was really surprised to hear one word among the words. “So, I would play the part of your friend?”

“Does it bother you?” Roxas asked.

“Don’t you have any friends besides me?”

“Of course I have!”  Roxas was quick to reply.

“Why haven’t you invited them? Or why don’t you just eat the cake tomorrow? Or later this week? Freeze it?”  Axel asked. There were too many things that didn’t add up. Maybe with a little push he could get some answers-

“Is that a no?” Roxas asked and looked defeated.

Axel knew he’d pried enough and gave up with rest of the questions he had been thinking about. “I’ll come,” he said and the surprised face of Roxas’s made him add, “You don’t turn down an invitation like this. Free cake, you know?”

Roxas stared at him surprised for a moment, but got a grip of himself before Axel had the time to say something witty again. “That’s great! We were just about to begin with the cakes, but I don’t know if they had the self-control to wait this long. I guess we’ll have to go and see. I’ll leave the door open,” Roxas told and smiled once again.

 Axel shook his head amused and returned inside to place the lunch from the microwave directly into the fridge. He took his keys with him and followed then Roxas’ steps up one floor. The door was left ajar like promised and Axel peeked inside. At first he couldn’t see anybody, but then the gleeful face of Sora suddenly appeared from the kitchen door.

“Axel! Come quickly. We have the candles burning already!” Sora said and waved with his hand. Axel did what was ordered and followed into the kitchen. He’d seen the friends a couple of times, but nothing had prepared him to the way they had prepared a birthday-party. The kitchen was filled with balloons, serpentine, and everybody had a stupid looking cone on top of their heads. Even Roxas was wearing one of the cones, although he did look a bit trapped in the corner of the room and not completely A-Okay with the situation. Axel wasn’t given the time to greet, congratulate the birthday boy or refuse the hat as the hat was pushed into his hand and he himself was forcibly guided across the room next to Roxas. Sora was already leaning over the cakes, several candles spread over both of them.

“How old is he again?” Axel whispered the question towards Roxas direction while Sora extinguished the flames.

“Seventeen now,” Roxas answered without even turning to look at him. He was pretty good at feigning interest; only his voice betrayed him now and gave away that he wasn’t really all that into all of this. However, he wasn’t exactly hating the situation either as far as Axel could read him.

Sora was weird.  Axel didn’t know many kids this age who’d still want to celebrate this way. “What’s with the decoration?” he asked.

Roxas confirmed his guess; this was something Sora had insisted on. “Those two were more than happy to bring their own sets of balloons to add to the mess. You saw what happened to the living room?”

“No, I didn’t. Do I dare to go and look?”

“You’ll see it once the cake has been served,” Roxas said. “The kitchen is nothing compared to it.”

There was plenty of cake as Roxas had promised, and everything possible covered or made out of sugar. Sora and company did their best to make everything edible disappear, but Roxas had been right, Axel’s help was needed. He had eaten already three pieces of cake and there was still some of both of the flavours remaining.

“I thought I couldn’t ever refuse free cake,” Axel sighed and placed the plate in the kitchen sink. He was pretty sure that there was no need for more cake. Ever.

“You’re not the first one to say so. Cloud gets sick of the amount of the sugar every time he visits,” Roxas told. He was leaning to the kitchen bench on the opposite wall. They were alone in the kitchen now. Sora and company were being nosy in the living room.

Axel wasn’t that sure if it was a compliment to be compared with Cloud, but he smiled nevertheless.

“Hey, do you think you’ve gotten over the overdose in… say four weeks?” Roxas suddenly asked.

“I might. Why?”

“Well, it’s just that... I thought that maybe I’d invite you to my birthday-party as well.  Sora is in charge of the menu that day so... I hope it’s not too weird invitation.”

“Free cake? No, I won’t turn the invitation down. Besides, I’m a friend. I should be invited,” Axel reassured, but he was surprised to be asked. The invitation for today could have been merely because the amount of cake, that Axel could swallow. This invitation, however, was first and foremost to the party, not because of the cake. Whatever Roxas said.

“Oh, thanks. Sora will be pleased. He has permission to buy the cakes he wants then,” Roxas said.

**xxx**

Somehow a knock on the door wasn’t that surprising anymore. This had to be the... What? Fourth time? Axel lay down the filthy dishes he had been collecting on the kitchen table and quickly washed his hands before making his way to the door to greet Roxas. The boy smiled and looked somewhat relieved.

“I realised that I didn’t have your phone number... Or anybody else’s to that matter either,” Roxas explained and Axel gave a puzzled look. The boy hurried to continue. “I’m happy you were home.”

“What’s the emergency?” Axel asked. He leaned to the door frame like so many times before and couldn’t disagree with the thought inside his head that said he enjoyed this new kind of neighbours-ship. For so many years the knock on the door had never meant anything good.

“Er... We did make plans for the Game for tomorrow, right?” Roxas verified though it was clear he knew the answer. The troubled tone of his voice told everything needed. He fidgeted while Axel stared at him.

Axel could easily see behind the question. “You can’t make it.” It was a statement without any accusing. Roxas nodded. Axel waited for the boy to tell more since he _was_ privileged for the excuses because he would be the one to tell the others. Roxas wasn’t oblivious to the fact that Axel would need something to tell them. Roxas might have been about to start speaking when the thought hit Axel and he chuckled. “Was I really the one you wanted to tell this to? You trust me not to tell something embarrassing as the excuse?”

Roxas looked surprised only for a second. “I couldn’t call anybody. Nobody thought it essential to give their phone numbers, and you happen to live close and it was the easiest solution to come knock on your door. It was nothing more complicated,” Roxas clarified.

Axel sighed, a bit theatrically, but that was what nothing unusual. There had been times when he had thought about starting acting. He would have enjoyed it. “Oh, you just had to destroy the happy thought...” Axel began but found not the words to finish the sentence. That I’m reliable? Too serious.

“Of what?” Roxas asked amused.

“Forget it. Nobody gave you their number? What? I would swear I gave mine at some point of the welcoming night,” Axel said and tried to find the memory from somewhere. He remembered most of the night, but...

“You didn’t,” Roxas stated. “There was talk about it, but we didn’t change numbers. I wasn’t that eager to give mine... You were all strangers to me that time after all.”

“Yeah, I understand. I guess you want mine now?” Axel asked.

“It could come in handy some other time,” Roxas admitted. “I have my phone here,” Roxas said as he picked the machine out of the jeans’ pocket. He handed it over to Axel who typed his number in it without thinking twice.

“Here you go.” Axel gave it back. “Send me a message sometime so I’ll get your number.”

“ ’kay.” Roxas stuffed the phone back inside the pocket and smiled in somewhat adorable way as he looked up again. Axel smiled back. He was pleased to know he had made a friend.

“So. What’s the excuse?” Axel asked.

“Oh, the reason why I can’t join the clan when out go hunting? Um. You probably don’t know or are interested, but there’s this movie having its sneak premiere tomorrow. I’ve been fan of the director for so long time I can’t miss this one.”

“I might now the movie. What’s it about?”

“Well... It’s essentially a story about an upper-class lady and then there’s this tramp. It’s not a cheeky love-story! Even if it sounds a bit like it. What I’ve found out from the trailers, it’s all about adventure and at the same time it’s an allusion about our society.”

Axel listened quietly. “You say the premiere is tomorrow?”

“Yes,” Roxas confirmed. “You - know the movie?”

“Know? I can’t believe I didn’t know it’s coming out tomorrow! I saw the first trailer over a year ago and been waiting for it since then! I thought they would start selling the tickets next week. Tomorrow? Is there _any_ chance I’ll get tickets?” Axel asked in despair.

“It might be pretty hard...” Roxas said without giving unnecessary hope. “I found out about the sneak premiere yesterday. They really haven’t been advertising it that well. I managed to get a ticket, but it’s definitely not the best seat. You should try out the same theatre; they had some unsold tickets more. It’s not one of the popular of places so you might get lucky.”

“I’ll try and hope the best,” Axel agreed. “Um... Thanks for telling about the premiere! What place did you say had empty seats yesterday?”

**xxx**

“It’s a miracle that you actually got the last seat. Ten more minutes and it would’ve surely been taken,” Roxas said as he and Axel sat on the bus on their way to the film theatre. “And it’s even bigger miracle that your seat is only one seat from mine. I mean, what are the odds?”

“I don’t care where the seat is. The most important thing is that I got a seat and I’m seeing the movie on its opening day, no matter how small the screen or how far away the theatre is.”

“Well, in that case you are forever in debt to me, ‘cause I told you about the premiere and where to get the tickets.”

“Yeah... No. Keep on dreaming, kiddo.”

Axel and Roxas arrived at the small theatre a quarter of an hour before the movie started. The queue to the popcorn stand was even longer than usually, so they decided not to get anything. There were lots of people hanging out in front of the auditorium where the movie was to be shown.

Amongst them were Tifa and Aerith. Tifa noticed them immediately and waved. “What are you two doing here? What are you two doing here _together_?”

“Well, this is a movie theatre. What do you think we’re doing here?” Axel said, not as sarcastically as he might’ve.

“Really funny, Axel. The last time I saw the two of you weren’t the best of buddies,” she said. There was something curious in the way she looked at them, Roxas decided. 

“It was three months ago,“ Axel said like it was ancient news. “We’re here to see a movie. What are _you_ doing here? It isn’t like you to come to the most remote movie theatre ever to see a movie. You’re more likely to get the tickets beforehand to a huge theatre closer to your home.”

“Oh, we did book the tickets like, two weeks ago,” Tifa said and waved her hand towards a woman standing next to her. “This is the closest theatre to Aerith’s home. Roxas and Axel, this is Aerith, Aerith this is Axel, my employee and Roxas, Cloud’s brother. You might remember him from way back when-”

“Oh, this is Aerith. Cloud’s...” Roxas was about to say “girlfriend”, but he stopped himself, when he realised who he was talking to. So this was Cloud’s type. He never thought it would be this... pink.

“Actually me and Cloud were never actually going out. He’s dating Tifa now,” Aerith said, catching on the words that Roxas had tried to swallow. He hadn’t been a discreet as he’d thought he was.

“Wait what? Why has no one told me?” Roxas said and turned to Axel. “Did you know?”

“Tifa might’ve said something to that effect, yes.”

“And you never told me? Thanks a fucking lot.”

“I thought Cloud told you, he’s your brother and all.”

Tifa jumped in to stop the fight before it started. “Roxas, you know Cloud. He never tells anyone anything.”

That was true. Cloud didn’t like to talk about himself and if he liked to talk about something even less, that was his feelings. Besides, dating Tifa was a good thing. Tifa actually cared about Cloud and she knew what she was getting herself into, they had been friends for so long. “Well then, congratulations. It’s surprising it took him this long to realise.”

“Actually he didn’t. You told him, don’t you remember?” Tifa said.

Roxas thought about it. He had a vague memory of a phone conversation concerning Cloud, his health and Tifa. “Now that you say it, I might’ve done that, yeah. Sorry.”

“No harm done. I should actually thank you. He’s too much of a bonehead to see it himself,” Tifa said. “But hey, that’s all about Cloud and me. You still haven’t told me how you and Axel of all people wound up here together.”

“He told you already, we’re here to see the movie. I, for one, have been waiting for it for so long that I had to see it as soon as possible. And when Axel heard that the premiere is today, he just had to come with me,” Roxas said. “But please, don’t tell Cloud. I don’t think he likes Axel that much, and he’s not fast to change his opinions. He’d freak out about my bad taste in friends.”

Axel tugged at Roxas’ sleeve. “I see Tifa enough every day at work, and I for one don’t plan on spending my free time with her too. You can talk to her at their wedding or something,” he murmured.

That was when the doors were opened. “Well that seems to be our cue. See you tomorrow at work,” Axel said to Tifa and started dragging Roxas towards the auditorium. Roxas waved a quick goodbye since it took a few moments longer for Tifa and Aerith to gather their bags of the ground and get going too. There was that strange look at Tifa’s face again. Roxas didn’t have time to think about it as Axel started tugging his sleeve. Again.

“Row seven,” Roxas read from his ticket and started walking the stairs upwards. The auditorium was getting full very quickly and seemed like they weren’t the only fans in there. He could pick up snippets from furious analyses about the latest movie that had told the struggles of growing up like no-one before. Roxas sat down on his place and Axel on his – the one who had the ticket to the place there between wasn’t there yet.

“These are the perfect places!” Aerith said loud and clear and made Roxas head turn immediately towards the pair climbing up the stairs. Tifa had just given the tickets over to Aerith what looked like the first time. It became obvious where there where headed after she continued being happy about Tifa’s choice of places. “Seventh row. Middle seats. You’ve had to be one of the first to get tickets from here.”

 Roxas returned their smiles as they crammed past them.

It took many sets of annoying advertisement before the lights began to dim and the doors got closed. No-one appeared to claim the place between him and Axel. It was during the opening credits that Axel got up shortly and changed seats. “Better view,” he whispered.

xXx

It had been far easier than Tifa had ever thought. Her father almost gave her the money she wanted to loan. But that wasn’t important. What _was_ , was the fact that she had the money and she could do something with it.

Now, the problem with the bar wasn’t Tifa nor Axel. Both of them were above average bartenders and could make all the drinks they needed to do. The problem was the bar itself. Its location was alright and there wasn’t much she could be doing about that, but the insides needed renewing. Neither Tifa nor Axel had the eye for decoration, so they needed someone else to do it.

Tifa knew just the person who could help her.

 “So, what’s the problem?” Tifa said, as Aerith looked around. They sat in the empty Seventh Heaven. It was an early Saturday and a sign telling that the place was closed had been placed on the door.

“Well... The bar is too dark, for starters. And your chairs are not as comfortable as they could be. Has anyone used that flipper for months?” The flipper had stood there unused for as long as Tifa could remember, and Aerith could see that.

“We need to lighten up the mood. The walls need to be lighter, maybe light blue or grey. And we need to get rid of these chairs and buy some new ones. Maybe a few pictures on the walls? What’s your colour scheme?”

Tifa looked around. She had gotten used to the dusky feel of the bar, but that didn’t seem to work for customers. She imagined what the bar would look like, with the lighter walls and different kinds of chairs. She wasn’t ready to give up the feel the bar had, so she said: “I don’t think me or Axel could work here among bright colours. So, maybe black and grey?”

“That’s exactly what I thought you’d say. I’ll let you have your bar black and gray, but you have to get rid of all this junk-” And by junk Aerith meant carpets. “Off the floor! I see how light the wood is, don’t go covering it.”

“Okay. What next?”

“Well, we’ll go buy the paint and chairs. Then we paint the walls and put the chairs in places. We might actually be ready today, if we find right chairs fast. How much money do you have?”

Tifa told her and Aerith seemed pleased. “Well, that’s more than enough. Shall we go?” Aerith said and got up to her feet. She gave her hand for Tifa to take hold of and led them out of the door. “I know a few places where we could start looking. Now, the first things are the chairs...”

In the end they didn’t only buy dozen of new, comfortable black chairs, but also new tables in the same shade as the floor. They chose a nice bluish shade of grey for the walls. It was already running late when they got back, and so they decided to come back next day and call for some help, mainly force Axel to do his job and ask if Cloud wanted to be of help.

The next morning was a hectic one. Cloud had agreed to help them. Aerith was there to oversee the whole project. Axel... had grudgingly agreed that he had no other choice. Somehow, Axel had gotten Roxas to join them, but Tifa had too much to think pry more there and then.

Tifa stood in front of the bar, looking at her helpers. “Okay, people. The first thing is to get all the old chairs and tables out. There’s a skip waiting. After that the walls need to be painted. I called the shop; they said the furniture should be here at about four o’clock. That means we have about six hours before they arrive, but it would be nice if we were ready before that so the paint had time to dry. Any questions?”

When no one said anything she smiled: “Well then let’s start.”

It took them half an hour to get all the furniture out of the bar and another before the floor was protected and everyone had  brush in hand and a can of pain next to them. This time it was Aerith’s time to be in charge.

“It seems like we can’t all be painting the same wall, there’s just too much of us. So... Axel, you brought Roxas. He’s your responsibility, so take that wall,” Aerith said and pointed at the wall left from the door. “The rest of us take this one.” She said and pointed at the wall with all the windows and the door in it.

Tifa watched as Roxas took one of the ladders Aerith had provided them and walked to the wall that Aearith had assigned to him and Axel. “Okay, here’s the deal. I paint the upper half and you paint the lower half. Deal?” Roxas asked. Curiously enough, Axel seemed to be just fine with being bossed around.

Everybody started working. It seemed to going pretty well, but after forty five minutes of painting something caused Axel to started yelling. It wasn’t exactly a squeal, but it was of a higher pitch than what Tifa had known to expect from him. “Do I have paint in my hair? What the fuck, Roxas!” Axel was staring at his hand that he’d just brushed through his hair.

Roxas looked down from the ladder and was smiling apologetically. “Oops?”

“Goddamit, Roxas, This isn’t even water-soluble!” Axel grumbled.

“Double oops?”

At that point, Cloud had gotten enough of the verbal abuse that Axel was trowing at Roxas and walked over. “What’s the problem?” he said, looking at Axel.

“Don’t you see? I have fucking paint in my hair!”

“We have turpentine in there,” Cloud said and pointed at the counter.

“Are you crazy? Do you have any idea what it would do to my hair?”

“Actually, no. Never had paint in my hair.”

“I think you’re supposed to get it off by using olive oil,” Aerith said. “At least that’s what my mother used to do...”

“I don’t think we’ve got any olive oil here,” Tifa said.

“Well, what do you expect me to do now?” Axel asked. He didn’t look happy.

“Why don’t you go and buy some olive oil then? You won’t get the paint off by just yelling,” Cloud said. “The rest of us have work to do.”

“It was Roxas’ fault,” Axel pointed out.

Roxas had been watching all of them from his ladder. “Your fault for standing there.”

Axel glared at Roxas and smiled then for the rest of the audience. “Okay. I’ll take my break now. I need to get this of my hair.”

xxx

It took a lot longer to paint the place than Aerith and Tifa had planned, but they were ready during the same day. The new furniture had to stay outside for a few hours before the paint dried in one corner and got then stacked there till rest of the place was covered in grey. It was around half ten in the evening that Tifa allowed her messy painting team to head home and change for something less spotted.


	15. Welcome to the family

It seemed to become a day without anything worth mentioning. For once, Axel had no complaints about that. He’d had enough with drama, misery and his friends never stopping bugging him. From now on, everything would go as planned. He had finished his day at work; Tifa had been nice and kept talking about Cloud at minimum and Cloud had for a change not showed up. Axel had never thought he’d think this, but he was really honestly happy with Tifa and Cloud getting together. Hell, today Axel felt like he could be just alright with the whole wide world.

The sun was literally shining.

Axel kicked the door open after a welcoming click, and then threw the keys on the table next to the door and left the shoes were they fell off. Jacket found its way to the closet, a rare sight. The place was as messy as always, but Axel didn’t feel like fighting it today. He made his way straight to the fridge.

He glanced at his meal for today, some sort of spaghetti-wannabe, and then threw it to be warmed up with the help of radiation. While waiting for the pling, he searched the cupboards for clean glasses and then started looking after for some soda. Simplistic and not so healthy, but this food kept him alive and going from day to day. Besides, Axel had no one to nag about proper nutrition and watch over the grocery shopping; the menu wasn’t going to change any time soon. Even though Axel had been collecting a good deal of money this year without any real school to attend, his saving weren’t large enough to feed him caviar every day.

Axel found the last bottle of soda in the fridge and took it out. That was when he noticed something was amiss. The bottle wasn’t even a bit chilly. Had the microwave-food been a bit warmer than usually? He muttered some curses under his breath and started poking through stuff that should be kept cool – and that wasn’t that now.

Then came the realisation that made his heart skip a beat.

Axel crouched down to open the door to the freezer, slow and hesitant in his movements. His fears were proven right. The freezer was dead too. That was a problem. A real problem. A problem consisting of almost twenty litres of ice-cream. Cinnamon-ice-cream.

Axel stared at the freezer in disbelief. He had no idea what to do now. The ice-cream was melting down. It would be inedible in a few hours, even sooner. The cinnamon-ice-cream he had robbed the store empty of almost a month ago - hoping that this storage of it would last for many months to go - was disappearing right in front of his eyes.

He couldn’t just throw it away. There were no promises he would find some place who sold the special flavour ever again. He had to eat it. But he would need some help.

Demyx definitely was out of the list, he might have understood the ice-cream, but Axel wasn’t about to tolerate his presence for the mere reason. Saïx? No way. He wasn’t someone who’d like to help Axel out with the ice-cream. He would laugh and decline if Axel called and tried to explain. Xigbar, Larxene, neither were good company without alcohol and Larxene was definitely no good with it either. Nobody of the clan was suitable for the mission Axel now needed help.

With the exception of Roxas. And Sora. Sora would gladly eat the ice-cream. He might even understand the finer qualities of cinnamon. Might. Axel didn’t think there were too many likeminded when it came to taste in ice-creams, but Roxas’s brother? Cousin? Relative might be an exception. Cardamom had been a heavenly spice for ice-cream and cinnamon was the best thing ever, but the first had disappeared from stores all too soon and now it was over with cinnamon too. Maybe there was lack of buyers. These were only meant for civilised tastes.

Axel let the microwave scream the dinner was ready without making a move to rescue the almost-like-the-real-deal-spaghetti. All Axel did was to get up on his feet and leave his home to find some help from upstairs.

Knock on the door, a while tapping restlessly on the ground with his feet and then finally a moment for a relieved grin. Somebody was home; Axel could hear someone rustling behind the door.

Roxas was the one to open the door, and he realised it was Axel right away and skipped even the greetings. “What is it?” Roxas asked. He didn’t sound annoyed, only curious.

“I have a problem,” Axel stated, calm, cool, in control of the situation.

Roxas mixed a yawn and a grin. “You have some sort of problem. The _news_?” 

Axel was humoured, but had a mission to concentrate on. “I need some help.”

“And that’s where I come in?” Roxas guessed and pointed at himself.

Axel shook his head, almost enjoying the bewilderment. “Er, no. I think Sora would be more useful. Is he home?” Axel told, asked and smiled innocently.

“Sora? What sort of problem is it when you ask after _Sora_?” Roxas had to repeat. “What is your problem?”

“Could that be envy?” Axel teased. “I have ice-cream. Ice-cream that needs to be eaten away right now. And no offence, I think Sora would be the problem for the answer.”

For once, Roxas was dumbstruck. “Why would you need Sora’s help to eat some ice-cream? I mean, what possible could be the problem with eating ice-cream? If it’s something so terrible you can’t eat it, just throw it away. I’m not going to let you poison him. Just put the stuff back in the freezer if there’s too much of it for you to eat it alone,” Roxas reasoned.

“It’s the most delicious flavour there has ever existed,  but there’s too much of it for me to eat it all, and it has melted a bit too much to be stuffed back into the cold. That is, if I had a freezer back home. The damn machine died. The real problem is that it has melted too much; otherwise I’d already taken over your freezer.”

“How much is too much for you to eat it?” Roxas asked.

“A couple of litres,” Axel shrugged, not wanting to scare anyone. Once he had Sora and ice-cream in the same room, there would probably be no questions. Hopefully. Somehow, he didn’t feel like sharing his heart-breaking story about Cinnamon even with Roxas. The boy would respect his elders what the rest of the clan weren’t obligated to when it came to Axel, but, sure go on, tell the new friend something that bizarre and find yourself alone in the hallway with all the uneaten ice-cream still waiting for you.

“Two? Three?” Roxas was too persistent for his own good.

Axel counted to two and decided that this cat and mouse play would only end with him losing. “Twenty.”

Roxas opened his mouth, closed it, and then just stared silently at Axel. He gave a questioning look and after Axel’s reassuring nod, he turned around and looked into to the apartment. “Sora! Get over here!”

Axel couldn’t help but smile. “So you think I really need Sora’s help?”

“I have no idea how on earth someone can manage collecting _twenty_ litres of something easily perishable,” Roxas shrugged, grinned a little, “but I understand that getting rid of it isn’t easy. And well, you seem to know Sora well enough. He’ll be glad to help you out.”

Sora peeked out of the doorway on that precise moment. “Help out with what?”

“Eating some ice-cream. Axel has too much of it,” Roxas summarized the whole conversation in a few words and stepped aside to allow Sora go past him. Roxas then tried to leave Sora and Axel alone and escape, but Sora had and different opinion.

“And where are you going? Don’t you want to help out?” Sora asked obviously waiting for Roxas to change his mind right away.

“Um, no?” Roxas said defiantly. “I was just grinding in the Game.”

“Not forcing you to come with us,” Axel lifted his hands to show that this was out of his control.

Sora was more persistent though. “Roxas, Axel is your friend in trouble,” Sora pointed out. “You are supposed to help friends in trouble, remember? And it’s ice-cream!”

“Whatever,” Roxas muttered. “Well, I don’t share your enthusiasm what comes to sweets, but then again I guess there’s nothing else to do... Expect, you know, the Game?”

Sora tried his best with a begging look which only made Axel very much amused. Roxas wasn’t going to change his mind based on that act alone.

“Come on, Roxas. Ice-cream. You can’t hate ice-cream, can you?” Axel decided to aid, and to his surprise, it worked.

“Okay, okay! I’ll come and help you out,” Roxas gave up. Fairly easily, Axel noted.

Axel flashed a charming smile. “Thanks. I really couldn’t count on any others,” he said doing his best to sound nonchalant, ignoring Sora who was already skipping down the stairs.

Roxas shrugged and followed Sora. Axel was the one to keep the tail of the group.“People from the clan really aren’t ice-cream eaters?” Roxas asked and turned briefly to look behind.

“Do they look like ones to you?” Axel asked.

Roxas had only to smile for an answer. “So. Care to explain the amount?”

Theatrical sigh. “Fine,” Axel said. “Long story short. Cinnamon Ice-Cream. They don’t make it anymore. Had to stock up. And then my freezer broke and now all of it is melting.”

“Really.”

“This wasn’t anything I could have foreseen,” Axel muttered. “I just hope that the insurance is still alive. I definitely want my money back. And some extra for my suffering.”

**xxx**

”So, are you going to go and get him?” Sora asked and nudged Roxas awake from the slumber he’d fallen into. They both stared at the TV now, exhausted because of the several hours spent in cleaning the place up. The apartment had never been as squeaky clean as it was now: The clothes lay folded in the closets, the surfaces were shiny. There was no dust to talk about; Mom had threatened to visit tonight.

Roxas shrugged. “I guess. But maybe we should wait till Nami and the others have gotten here?”

Sora disagreed with that thought, “Wouldn’t it be easier if Axel was here already when they got here?”

“Easier?”

“He could do the introducing by himself.”

“Wouldn’t that be the case if he’d arrive last?”

“I’d feel embarrassed if I’d arrive last and had forgotten about the party,” Sora pointed out.

“He has forgotten, that’s for sure,” Roxas laughed and he wasn’t insulted by that, not really. He had known Axel only for a sort while and those friends Roxas had spent his whole life with had hard time remembering his birthday too. It wasn’t something to get mad over. “What if I go and ask him whether or not he wants to be the last or the first to arrive?”

“That’s not a bad idea,” Sora agreed. “Go and ask him.”

“Let’s just hope he hasn’t anything to do today,” Roxas sighed and got up. He snatched his set of keys from the hallway table and tiptoe without shoes down one floor. He’d done this journey quite many times already. He rang the doorbell without hesitating.

Axel was at home, Roxas knew it from the sound of footsteps that followed the ringing sound almost immediately after. For a moment Roxas had a fleeting thought that _maybe_ Axel had remembered after all and been waiting for an invitation. Those footsteps sounded hurried. Roxas conclusion got an evidence more from the loud thump that resulted from opening the door hastily, pushing some shoes from the way. That was one very familiar sound.

Roxas career as a private-detective met its end immediately when Axel managed to get the last door open and peeked out to see who stood there. “Hi? Roxas?” he asked and it was clear that he had no clue why there was a sudden ring on the door.

“Guess you don’t have any idea what day today is?”

Axel looked at him, smiled then brightly like he held the answers, and shook his head. “Sorry.”

“Don’ sweat about it. Today’s my birthday,” Roxas said and tried his best in keeping his tone unchanged. He had given himself into hoping that Axel had remembered. Which was very stupid since it was often that he had to remind Hayner about the same subject.

Axel let a sound that was something between an _oh_ and _shit_ and Roxas really was sure this time that there was a pang of guilt in that expression too.

“So, um, have you anything to do today?”

“I got invited somewhere,” Axel said and without any trouble was back to his own self, confident, pointed at himself first with his thumb and then nodded upwards. “Should I make my grand entrance right now?”

“If you want. The other are coming a bit later,” Roxas explained and a raised his shoulders to show uncertainty.  “Sora and I were thinking that maybe you’d prefer being the last or the first or something there between.  If you wonder why I’m so early.”

“Didn’t really think that far.”

“It’s a stretch,” Roxas admitted. “So, doesn’t matter to you?”

“How many people have you coming?”

“Just four people plus Sora, me and you,” Roxas told and counted the number with his fingers. “Namíne comes and then there’s three friends of mine you haven’t met.”

“And Sora’s friends?”

“Not today,” Roxas stated just as firmly as he had when talking about this subject with Sora. “We do have enough cake for everyone who’s invited and a few uninvited guests, but we do not have the space.”

“Okay,” Axel nodded shortly. “What if you told me the time the others are arriving and I’ll time my entrance according to that?”

Roxas agreed that it was an alright plan. “Naminé usually comes a bit early everywhere so that’ll be around two fifteen. The rest... I’d expect them to arrive at earliest something to three.”

“I’ll manage that,” Axel said and they said goodbye with short nods, Axel closing the door and Roxas jumping the stairs up two at a time.

Sora sat where Roxas had left him, but turned eagerly his gaze once he heard Roxas struggling through the hallway. He needn’t say anything to ask the question.

“He said he’d get up here with the others. I told to try sometime between two thirty and three.”

xxx

Naminé was the first to arrive, no surprise there, as it was just like Roxas had predicted to Axel. She handed a tiny present wrapped beautifully in silvery paper and golden twine. It was like a piece of art and Roxas said it aloud. Naminé smiled brightly and came as close to blushing as possible with her. She wasn’t one to blush; she smiled prettily and giggled, but did not blush.

“The others are not here yet?” Naminé asked and walked in, smiled at Sora and sat in the armchair without the need of a request. She had met everybody coming over today, being the only one besides the hosts to do so. She didn’t really know Axel or Hayner and company, but Roxas was sure that she’d have no difficulties to befriend everyone.

Roxas didn’t dare to unwrap the present yet and left it onto the living room table on the way to get something to drink for her. The kitchen looked like it had on Sora’s birthday minus the some of the extra decoration and serpentine. Sora had bought only one cake, but there was enough sweets to make everyone ill. Roxas shook his head amused at the sight and took one of the many bottles of soda with him. Sora and he had been careful with money and saved for the rainy day – or a birthday to be closer to the truth – and it was nice to relax and enjoy from time to time, not to think what all this had cost.

Namíne accepted a glass with a smile. “How are you, birthday-boy? Getting closer to legal adulthood every day.”

“Nothing special,” Roxas shrugged. “I guess it’s not completely pointless to grow up. Can’t wait to get rid of all the legal messes concerning this apartment and everything. Paperwork. Me having to ask Mum about everything.” Namíne nodded understanding though Roxas knew she didn’t know enough to really get what he meant. Roxas often spoke about Mum, but the whole story behind why Sora and he lived here, and how Sora had ended up part of the family and had lived at Roxas’s parents before that, he often left pretty much there.

“You said Axel’s coming too?” Naminé continued prying. She hadn’t met Axel in a long while – it had to have been since that time in the coffeehouse before summer holidays – but Roxas knew he had spoken about the man once or twice. Last time about how Axel seemed like a stalker.

“Yeah, he said he’d come to steal some cake,” Roxas told. “He’s nice. The whole staling-mess was my imagination mostly. I hope.” Axel had appeared out of the blue to ask them to eat ice-cream last week, but there had been more occasions lately where it had been Roxas who’d bugged Axel - Sora’s birthday included. “He got invited to Sora’s birthday too.”

“We had too much cake,” Sora joined the conversation. “How do you know Axel?”

“Roxas has probably told you about us bumping onto him during the storm on the last day of school?” Naminé looked at Roxas questioningly and the boy nodded. Sora took a moment to recall a conversation about that incident and found it. “Not that I really know him.”

“Okay.”Sora looked a bit disappointed, but smiled nonetheless. ”Do you want something to eat? Before the cake, I mean?” he asked brightening up.

Hayner, Olette and Pence must’ve decided to meet before the party was destined to start because they all came together. Sora opened the door since Naminé hadn’t had enough about gossiping and Roxas was fully occupied. All he managed was a wave and a quick greeting when the door opened before he was again following the complex going on’s of Naminés life. She had gotten over the pink haired waiter for Roxas relief – he didn’t have to explain that he knew the guy, something that he had been afraid he would someday have to tell her. A conversation he hadn’t been looking forward to.

“Hi, Naminé,” greeted Olette who was the first one to get through the hallway that was too small for all three of them to get their shoes off and jackets in the rack in any reasonable amount of time. Olette and Naminé had only seen each other few times before and Roxas was a bit surprised how easily they approached each other, not shying each other the least. Naminé smiled and Olette sat next to her on the couch.

“This one is from Olette and this one from me,” Hayner shortly before handing too presents to Roxas. Roxas thanked and dropped them on the living room table next to the one from Naminé. Pence placed his present on the table without having to hand it over to Roxas.

“Is everyone here already?” Pence asked partly Sora, partly Roxas, while accepting a glass of soda from first mentioned.

It was Sora who beat Roxas to it. “No,” he shook his head and Roxas had started to doubt that he couldn’t wait to get introduce Axel to the rest of the gang. Like Axel was something interesting, worth bragging with. “There’s this one friends of Roxas’ still missing. He said he’d be here already.” The last words were clearly meant for Roxas to bite on.

“You go pester him if you worry,” Roxas shook his head. “He’ll be here any moment now.”

“Who’s coming?” asked Olette intrigued. Seemed like she had missed the first part of the conversation.

“Axel,” Naminé said and she too looked excited about the opportunity to speak about this mystery person. Her excitement wasn’t as transparent as Sora’s had been though, she smiled prettily at the surprised faces but allowed Roxas to continue.

“Where’d you met him?” Pence asked munching the pastries Roxas had no idea when Sora had taken them out of the freezer or how he had managed that without him noticing. “Don’t remember you mentioning him before,” Pence continued and got agreeing nods from the usual gang.

“He’s not that interesting,” Roxas managed to say before the doorbell rang and three very curious glares turned to stare at the door. “Don’t scare him, okay?” Roxas sighed and walked to the door to let Axel in.

Axel waived his hand lazily and peeked straight over Roxas to see the stares aimed at him before any sort of verbal greeting. Roxas shook his head slightly very much amused at Axel’s grin. “They aren’t that interesting,” Roxas said and turned his back without giving any time to respond. Roxas took the armchair back to himself trusting Axel to know how to close a door and follow without any further instructions.

Naminé who had jumped up to her feet stopped Axel before he had the time to really join their company. Axel recognised her and she smiled back. “Hi,” said Naminé. “Didn’t know you and Roxas are friend these days,” she continued, but managed to say the words so that they didn’t feel all that pushy about a detailed explanation of how, when and why.

“Yeah, well, stranger things happen?” Axel suggested and she seemed happy with it, nodding eagerly and  looking like she was ready to launch into a cheerful conversation about something neither Roxas nor Sora wanted to wait to find out.

“Naminé, what if-”, Roxas began and tried to get others an opportunity to introduce themselves. He was cut off by Sora who had similar intentions.

“What about some introductions?” Sora asked.

Axel flashed a grin, nodded at Naminé and with an ease took the stage for himself. “I’m Axel, your Roxas’ friends, and where have you hidden the cake?” he said with one breath.

“You have to ask Sora about that one,” Roxas said and tilted his head towards the empty spot on the couch wanting people to sit down and relax. Pence sat on the armrest of the couch and neither Sora nor Naminé had gotten away from Axel. “That’s Olette, Hayner, Pence,” Roxas then continued pointing at each smiling face to get over the formalities. “The cake will be served when Sora is ready.”

Axel had no problems infiltrating though he got some suspicious looks at first. It was clear on all faces that he hadn’t been what they had been awaiting. Older, yes. More sparkly and animate than one they’d thought Roxas would like to spend time with, sure. However, Roxas didn’t need to worry about Axel getting along with his friends, Axel was enjoying all this attention.

“So you met in that game that Roxas plays all the time and _then_ realised you’re neighbours?” Hayner laughed aloud. “Wow.”

“It’s not the same odds that you know him from school,” Axel grinned.

Roxas had to cut him off at that moment. He had told this story for most of the people who happened to get shared the information of their odd meeting. And the story was getting old. Very old. “Axel, no need to go to the details, okay?”

 


	16. Last Stop of this Life we know

 

”Hi,” said Axel and smiled like he knew something that Roxas didn’t – which was rather painstakingly obvious because it was he who stood behind Roxas’ door and not vice versa. “Do you have anywhere to be, let’s say, within an hour or so?”

Roxas gave him one of his what-are-you-up-to-now-looks, but when Axel didn’t give in Roxas just shook his head. “Um, not really?” Roxas said and gave a little shrug.

“Want some ice cream?”

“Did you break your freezer again?” Roxas said with a condescending tone.

Axel shook his head. “No, not this time. So, want to come?”

Roxas tilted his head as if to pounder the question, but it was clear from the start the he’d say yes. Roxas was easy to read. “Where?”

“I dunno. Thought we could pick a place on the go,” Axel said. “Pick your shoes and let’s go. Ask stupid questions later.”

“I asked two questions and neither of them were stupid,” Roxas mutter as he took few steps back inside and bent down to grab his shoes. He left the door open and Axel leaned to the doorframe waiting for him. Roxas jumped a while on one leg before both of the sneakers were safely on his feet. He was almost ready to go, but stopped at the door. “I’ll go get my money,” he said and had the time to turn around before Axel got hold of his shoulder.

“My treat,” he said and nodded towards the stairs. “I’m way richer than you are.”

“You sure?” Roxas asked, but allowed Axel to lead him out with the help of his arm.

“I’m sure. I asked you out, I’ll pay. Besides, it’s not like I’ll go bankrupt for two cones of ice cream.” Roxas laughed at that.

“Do you have any idea to which direction?” Roxas asked once the door shut behind them and they stood out in the sunlight. Axel just shrugged. “I just know a place a bit longer walk from here,” Roxas suggested.

“I’m in no hurry,” Axel replied. “Sounds good. That is, if you want to lead the way?”

“If you want to ask somebody out for ice cream, you should have a place in mind,” Roxas pointed out, but started walking.

“I’m no expert on places to get ice cream from,” Axel said. “Just felt like having one.”

“I thought you had your freezer full of ice cream.”

“Had.”

Roxas put his tongue out before continuing. “You just don’t start liking cinnamon ice cream out of the blue. I thought you were some sort of ice cream-guru.”

“What’s wrong with cinnamon?”

“It’s not normal.”

“And normal is good?” Axel asked, and he sounded way too serious about it without meaning to. “You liked the flavour,” he quickly pointed out to skip to the next subject.

“Yeah, well it tastes like Christmas and who wouldn’t like Christmas?” Roxas got all defensive.

Axel just laughed. They’d walked down the street without making any turns to right or left, but Roxas seemed to know where they were going and Axel didn’t bother asking how far away they still were. The weather was nice, he really was in no hurry and he’d asked Roxas to come along to have some company for the day. Sitting alone at home had become quite dull during the last weeks so as long as Roxas had no problem with accompanying him, yeah, he could keep walking as long as they had to. But in silence, no thank you. “So where’s Sora?”

“Would you’ve wanted to ask him along?” Roxas asked immediately and Axel had to smile.

“What? Afraid Sora would take my attention of you?” he teased and then laughed at the expression Roxas made. He looked half amused, half confused and it took a while for Axel to get his grin back in line. “As adorable as your pout would be to look at, no. Was he home? I’d expected him to be the first one at the door.”

“Sora never opens the damn door,” Roxas said. “Anyway, he’s at his girlfriend. The redhead at the birthday party, you remember her?”

“Well, sure. I’ve seen Sora only with the blond kid and the girl so,” Axel said. “Guessing the girlfriend wasn’t _that_ hard. So, you got a girlfriend?”

Roxas looked around and with a nod instructed him to get ready to cross the road. “No,” he said once he was looking away from him.

Axel smiled and followed Roxas after he’d quickly glanced there was no oncoming traffic to get squished by. He had to take few striding steps to catch up with Roxas. “Okay. Me neither.” 

“So what do you do when you skip the meetings? I thought you had a girlfriend or something,” Roxas turned to look at him and asked.

“It’s a nice cover up story isn’t it?” Axel said.

“Why don’t you use it every time then? Why pretend to be _babysitting_ me?”

“I only use that one once! It was a joke anyway,” he raised his hands. “Boy, you do hold old grudges.”

“Kind of a family thing,” Roxas said, but smiled and looked amused by the whole thing. “So, want to share what you’re doing that the others shouldn’t know about?”

“You know, the point is that others shouldn’t know about?” Axel suggested.

Roxas shrugged and let go. “Fine, don’t tell me then.”

“It’s nothing that would interest you anyway,” Axel tried and once the words were out, he realised they of course had the opposite effect. “I mean it.”

“Yeah, keep your secrets. The place I was talking about is there,” Roxas said and pointed at the park that opened behind the corner they just turned at. A pond, a kiosk and few tables.

“Pretty,” Axel commented.

“Said it would be worth it,” Roxas said as they walked over the street and Axel got money out of his pocket

“No you didn’t. You just said it would be far away,” Axel pointed out.

“I said it wasn’t near.”

“So what do you want?”

“What?”

“Ice cream, remember? What do you want?” Axel laughed at the expression on Roxas face as the boy realised they stood close enough the kiosk to pick up the flavours from the wall-display. He looked intensively for a while at the pictures before turning to ask for help from Axel.

“What do you take?” Roxas asked.

“Vanilla.”

“Why not any of the new flavours of the season?”

“They’ll be gone next summer. Don’t want to get attached to them.”

“You don’t have a healthy relationship with ice cream. Fine, I’ll taste cinnamon-apple.”

“Alright. Go pick a table,” Axel instructed and approached then the cashier to give away their orders. He had to take a few steps backwards to see the place in shadow that Roxas had chosen before he could ask, “Want something to drink?”

“If you take something,” Roxas replied.

First Axel brought two cones of ice cream which he gave to Roxas to hold while he fetched their cans of soda. He sat down on the sunny side of the table, his back to the direction from which the sun was shining from.

“When does your holiday end?” Axel asked.

“Only a week a left,” Roxas said. “No need to talk about it.”

“Okay. So what does the ice cream taste like?” Axel asked after Roxas had had his first lick of it.

“Apple and cinnamon,” Roxas replied and grinned. “Vanilla tastes like vanilla?”

“Could I have a taste of it?”

“Why didn’t you pick this flavour if you want it so much?”

“I wouldn’t need but a tiny nibble of it,” Axel tried and at the same did his best to keep up with his ice cream that didn’t care for the sunlight as much as he did.

“Well, it’s my ice cream and you have yours. So, no,” Roxas answered and continued licking his ice cream that was melting at an accelerating speed.

“Only a little taste. I need to know how much it tastes like my old love.”

“Remember, when I told you that you have an unhealthy relationship with ice cream? I really meant it.”

“Aww, come on! I paid for it, so it’s practically _my_ ice cream,” Axel pleaded.

“Fine, but only so that you’d shut up,” Roxas said, and handed Axel the ice cream, grimaced as Axel took his nibble of it – meaning that 1/3 of it was gone when he got it back.

“Hey! That wasn’t just a _little_ taste!”

Axel didn’t bother to say anything on his defence.

**xxx**

“Hey Roxas, remember when you said that you’d try even harder this year to beat Seifer than you did last year? Well, I haven’t seen you practising too much this summer,” Hayner’s voice, a little metallic due to it streaming through the phone, said. “Come to think of it, haven’t seen you much during the summer.”

“Yeah, I’ve had so much to do... I’m sorry,” Roxas answered sheepishly. He knew he was a bad liar.

“We’ve only seen you once since we went to the beach and that was your birthday.”

“Well... I’ve had so much stuff to do.”

“Bu that’s the thing. You seemed so broken when three of us left the town at the same time. But something happened, Roxas. You didn’t even arrange a greeting picnic, like you usually do.”

Roxas didn’t want to tell them that he had spent most of the time with Axel, mostly because he didn’t want to explain his new friend to his old ones. But he still didn’t want to outright lie to them. “I found a new guild in the Game.”

Hayner didn’t say anything for a moment. When he did speak, his voice was full of bent up anger. “You mean... You have just been playing _games_ and that’s why you forgot about your friends?”

“I haven’t totally forgotten about you...” There was nothing he could say that would make thing better. If he told about how awesome everyone in his new guild were, it would be a severe insult towards the friends that had been there for him for as long as Roxas could remember. But if he told Hayner that they still didn’t measure up to the trio, Hayner would get even angrier, because Roxas had abandoned them for people who weren’t even worth it.

“Maybe you haven’t yet, but now when school has started, you won’t have time for your games, us plus all the work school gives you.”

“That’s not true. I’ll have as much time as I want to have.”

“Yeah, just like you had over the summer vacation. Do you really expect me to believe you?”

Roxas was all out of words. “I don’t know...” he finally said.

“Well, I don’t. Call me back when you are ready to put your heart on struggling again,” Hayner said and hung up on Roxas.

Roxas just stared at the phone. That had not gone over so well.

But Hayner had been right. He had totally forgotten Hayner, Pence and Olette and only sought their company when it suited him the best. Every time there was some happening in the Game, Roxas was there. Even if his friends had something, Roxas would still hang up in there for all night without batting an eyelid.

The worst thing was, Roxas knew he’d still do it. He’d still choose Axel and the Game over his old friends. He was such a sucky friend.

But he still wasn’t ready to give struggling up. He jumped up from the bed he had been sitting on and opened the computer. In his e-mail Roxas found a schedule of all the upcoming meetings in the Game for the following two months. 0

He patiently went over all of them, looking for a spot that’d give him anything from an hour and an half to two hours every week to see Hayner and finally become good enough struggler to give Seifer a ride for his money. There was no time left over. Hayner had been right, Roxas still needed time to do his homework and he just couldn’t cram his timetable full. He need time to take care of the apartment with Sora too.

Well, then he’d just stop covering up for Axel and have his struggles when everyone else were in their weekly meetings. He picked up the phone and spun around in his computer chair. “Hey Hayner... I just went through my schedule...”

Roxas was going to make this work.

**xxx**

”Where are the colours? This isn’t exactly what I had in mind when you asked me on a mushroom-trip,” Axel informed Roxas . He was poking carefully a bundle of moss lying next to the tree on which roots he was balancing himself, trying to touch the ground as little as possible. The piece of moss let a pitiful splosh- sound and Axel got his shoe wet. “It rained last night, didn’t it?” he asked sounding like he was giving up and getting home this instant. He stepped down from the one dry place off the ground and looked miserable.

“Probably,” Roxas confirmed Axel’s suspicion. “I didn’t force you to come along.”

The whole forest was covered in tiny droplets of water, shining in the warm light that got just barely here and there through the leaves. The part of forest that they had decided to conquer lay little bit of the beaten track and was considerably duskier than what it had looked from the bus stop. However, not counting the soggy layers of needles, already decomposing autumn-y leaves and moss that had collected all of the water that had come down last night, the weather was rather pleasant. It was warm, the wind was still and they had no use for their jackets today. Roxas had only his hoody on, the zip half opened, jackets stuffed in the backpack that he’d volunteered to carry.

“Strange to think that it’s early August already,” Roxas muttered as he followed Axel’s path through the undergrowth.

“What’s funny about that?” Axel asked and turned to look, missing therefore his balance for a short moment and ended up diving almost ankle deep in a puddle. He swore, and Roxas laughed at the sight.

“It’s nice out here,” Roxas said and jumped over the water-obstacle.

“Keep dreaming,” Axel shook his head and let a sad laugh. “It’s _not_ nice out here. I wanted colours. Birds singing. Some tiny little hallucinations, you know. I wouldn’t not have needed anything ground breaking. Less water would’ve been nice.”

“Stop complaining. If you watched where you put your feet, there would be no problem. My shoes still keep the water out,” Roxas instructed and just to show how every inch of misery was just Axel’s own fault, he skipped from dry spot to the next, using the aid of some overgrown roots to get all the way to a boulder half his height. It was easy to climb on and Roxas sat onto its damp edge, grinning back at Axel who wasn’t going to change his tactic of walking through every pond and puddle he possibly could find underneath the undergrowth. He hopped down once Axel reach it.

“Is it too much to ask for some other colours beside this greyish green?” Axel sighed loud and Roxas tried not to be a wiseass, and failed.

“You could try finding some mushroom and test if they’d help you out,” Roxas said.

Axel crossed his arms and shook his head determinedly. “Roxas, I must sadly tell you that there are no mushrooms in this forest that work like the mushrooms I want.”

“You can always try.”

“Um, no thanks,” Axel said. “Didn’t mum ever teach you what happens if you eat mushrooms you don’t know anything about?”

Roxas just laughed and didn’t stay to listen Axel’s protest and started wading his way towards Sora and company. They weren’t far ahead and had already stopped to search after mushrooms, making catching up very easy.

It was when Roxas stood close enough to tap on Sora’s shoulder when the boy suddenly turned around and got his head out of the bushes. “I found some! I found some!” he enthusiastically shouted and smiled at Roxas immediately when he realized he stood so close to him.

“Look, Axel. Sora has found something for you to eat. Try if you find your colours and birds suddenly sitting on the branches,” Roxas ushered.

“Birds I look for don’t sit on the branches,” Axel said shortly and matter-of-fact-ly, but kneeled nonetheless next to Sora to see the brownish, stereotypical mushrooms a bit closer. Sora had a knife already ready, but turned to look at Kairi and the book with nice little illustrations of most of the edible mushrooms found in these familiar forests.

“Are they okay?” Sora asked and looked as Kairi passed over several pages. Riku was quickly there to look over her shoulder and shook his head to every picture Kairi showed. ‘Not that one’ or ‘Almost’ muttered either he or Kairi page after page.

Finally Kairi found a picture that qualified. “This one?” she asked Riku and he nodded unsure.

“Could be.”

Sora wasn’t one for waiting and was up to his feet when he realized Kairi and Riku were unable to make a decision about the permission to harvest the mushrooms. Roxas took a step away as Sora pushed through the bush and walked over to Kairi to quickly glance at the picture once and smile.

The trio were given the responsibility to collect the mushrooms Sora had found, a reasonable catch since they found out that a trail of the same, brownish mushrooms, that the book identified as birch webcaps, continued deeper into the bush Sora had crawled into. Roxas, partly because Axel’s uninterested yawning, left to find a mushroom-sea of his own. And unsurprisingly, Axel followed.

“So why did you decide to tag along?” Roxas asked moving low hanging branches out of the way. He wasn’t really looking that hard after the mushrooms and was wandering around aimlessly, looking behind a few promising looking bushes and stumps of old trees to keep the cover of mushroom hunting even the tiniest bit believable.

“Had nothing better to do,” Axel answered the question after a moment’s pause. He followed with no hurry in Roxas steps, more careful now and managing to avoid some of the puddles that they passed.

“Okay.”

Axel leaned to a tree that they passed and Roxas started looking around for mushrooms. “Where you expecting something else?” Axel asked when Roxas had his back turned.

“Nah. Grateful to have any company at all. Not that they are that horrible, but- “

“I’m not going to rat on you.”

Roxas turned around to flash a smile. “Thanks.”

Axel had gotten enough of this particular scenery and started walking again. “So, this is a tradition of yours or something?” he asked after he’d gotten a little distance between them.

“Not really. Just something that Sora felt like doing.” Roxas turned to look towards the direction when Sora and the others were he could just barely see them crawling in the undergrowth.

“Why didn’t you stay back home then? I mean, it’s not that you have to babysit-” Axel asked.

Roxas turned around and answered before Axel had the time to finish whatever bad pun he’d been preparing. “Not babysitting him, okay? I had nothing better to do either.”

“We could’ve stayed at my place. Played the Game or something? Movie?”

“Next time, suggest that one a bit earlier,” Roxas said grudgingly. “Come on, _now_ we need to hunt for mushrooms.” They started walking again.

“Well, fresh air won’t hurt,” Axel said diplomatically.

Roxas raised his brow. “And who was complaining just minutes ago?”

“Proper boots would’ve helped.”

“It wasn’t I who decided to take some expensive, big name brand-“

“Their fakes just so you know. From the market nearby,” Axel said raising his hands up in the air in defence.

Roxas had thought that Axel would be the kind to cloth himself in the most obscure, expensive, and still plain looking stuff that one could find.  Apparently, he was wrong. “I thought you got money to afford the real deals.”

“I do. I just don’t need to spend it all right away, you know.”

“Sure,” Roxas agreed and kept a small pause before continuing. “Just that...where do you get all the money?”

“What question is that? I work.”

“Tifa pays you really that good?”

“Nah, not she. She pays me below the minimum wage. Then there’s these...I’ve made some arrangements,” Axel said the first half joking, but went then considerable more serious.

“Nothing you care to explain deeper,” Roxas said and it wasn’t a question but a statement. It wasn’t that difficult to read Axel when he wanted to be read.

“Roxas, how rich is your family? The place you and Sora share...“

“Wasn’t cheap?” Roxas tried and Axel nodded, dodged a branch and for the first time in a while managed to land in the middle of a muddy puddle. Roxas listened him curse a while before answering the question.

“We aren’t filthy rich, but they wanted to invest in us. Dad is a diplomat so we had some extra... It’s not that expensive to live here.”

Axel murmured something that Roxas didn’t quit catch and when he turned looking questioningly, Axel had only one word: “Rich.”

“Whatever.” Roxas grimaced to show his disinterest in that opinion and turned around before Axel got to counter with something wise-assy. “So, what about your family?”

“Not rich,” Axel stated simply. “Both my parents are doing just fine, but they definitely would not have gotten me my own place if I asked for one.”

“It’s not that I just asked. They’re out of the country now and it was easier for us to stay behind.”

“Parents out of country and money to spend...Nice.”

“You haven’t met my Mum. She calls to check on us about daily. And you can just imagine what happens when Cloud messes up.”

“All hell breaks loose?” Axe made a guess that hit pretty close to the truth.

Roxas found himself wondering how much Axel had been made to witness the mess that Cloud had caused. What with Tifa standing behind the bar and Cloud being apparently a regular patron, Cloud should probably be counted into work hazards. Not wanting to bring _that_ up again, Roxas opted out to something less dangerous: “Doesn’t make me want to mess up.”

Axel looked at him now with a soft smile. “So you’re the good kid.”

Roxas shook his head. No, not him. “Sora.”

“Can do no wrong?”

Roxas laughed out loud. “No.”

**xxx**

Cloud was sitting on the church steps, wearing only black, holding a candle in his hand. He was looking even more broody than usual, just staring at the street. After some time, a woman in black, carrying a huge bush of white flowers in hand, walked to him. They stared at each other for a moment, before Cloud got up and hugged the woman.

“It’s good to see you here, Aerith,” Cloud said after he had let go of her. Aerith smiled, but didn’t say anything.

The two of them walked down to the graveyard, hand in hand. They walked past the soldier’s grave and past the graveyard for small children. Neither of them even slowed down, they just kept walking single-mindedly in silence.

After a good five minutes they stopped on a crossroad. “It’s twenty meters to left,” said Aerith quietly. Cloud just nodded. He took a deep breath and, after Aerith had already found the right grave, took the last few steps.

For a moment both of them just stood there in silence. It wasn’t an unfriendly or awkward silence, but a quiet silence that comes when everything has already been said. Finally, Cloud opened his mouth. “Hi Zack. It’s been a year. Again,” he said, his voice quivering. Aerith patted him in the back. It was all that needed to be said. She lowered the flowers to the grave, and Cloud fished matches out of his pocket. He gave the candle to Aerith and she sheltered it from the wind as he stroke the match and used it to light the candle. He watched as she put the candle down, next to the flowers, but far enough away from the flowers so that they wouldn’t catch on fire.

After about ten more minutes of staring Aerith gently tapped Cloud’s shoulder. “It’s time to go,” she said. She took Cloud’s hand and led him away from the grave. At the gates they stopped. “I know you don’t want to be alone. So go to Tifa, she’ll be there for you,” Aerith said and kissed Cloud on the cheek. “Promise me.”

Cloud sighed. “I promise.” He was not sure if he was going to keep that promise.

Aerith looked around once more. “I think I’m... I’m going to go now.”

“Thank you,” Cloud said and she smiled at him. She left without further words and started walking down the street. They probably could’ve left at the same time, walked together to the bus stop, headed back to town, but she’d given him the permission to stay a while longer and he felt like grapping the offer.

**xxx**

“I know it’s not my place, I’m not even sure if I met Zack more than three times, but still... I’m with Cloud now. He’s my boyfriend. And you know how long it took for things to settle this way. Aerith is my friend, and I trust her more than completely. I’m just worried for him, knowing what day it is. This is his and Aerith’s annual tradition and basically the only one they have. I should not be pouring this on you-

“Maybe I’m here waiting in vain, he’s just going to angst in his apartment for the rest of the day. I have this stupid bar and you can’t run it by your own. Not now, when there are more people than I can remember and I just don’t want to leave it to your hands, no offense meant.

“You know, at times like this I wish that I didn’t let Aerith change the bar. If it was empty like it used to be I could’ve just closed it down for the rest of the day and saw that Cloud wouldn’t be there alone. If he really trusted me, he’d come here. It’s still Cloud. I don’t think he trusts anyone, not me, not himself and not his shrink.”

“Okay, that’s nice,” Axel said carefully. “Could you give me the drinks those guys at the window wanted, please?”

Tifa looked embarrassed and went quickly back fetching them. She’d been continuing this monologue for a while now – picking up with it like she’d not have been interrupted every time Axel got back to the counter. For once, he was happy that the bar was full and he had his hands full of work and with a reason could get away from Tifa. She saw it too.

“Sorry,” she said, handed the beers and turned her attention back to the two brave customers who still sat by the bar. Axel took the beers and made a quick round around. The place hadn’t been this crowded in a long while – ever, really – and Axel didn’t know what to make of it. It wasn’t like grey coating on the walls made such a difference, but during the month and a half there had been more people from the Friday to Friday.

“So, Tifa,” Axel dared to try and make conversation with her, “Is he coming tonight?”

She looked at him surprised. Okay, it wasn’t like he’d talked voluntary about Cloud with her that often, but she was really wrecked up with this Memorial Day. Axel wish he knew more about what was going on,  Roxas had warned him about this day, but he’d been very unspecific – Axel should thank him for making the day even more scary. All he’d managed to pick up from Tifa’s rambling was that someone named Zack had died years ago and it was Cloud who’d been devastated by all of it. And that Aerith had something to do with the Zack fellow and Tifa hadn’t. And she felt jealous about all of it.

“I don’t know,” Tifa said and Cloud really had the perfect timing and Axel the crappiest one since that was the moment when the door opened and the man in question stepped in. Axel had hoped to get some information about what might possibly happen if Cloud got here, you know some background info to know what not to say would’ve been nice, but obliviously it was time out now. He’d stay dead silent if he possibly could.

“Hi, Cloud. I’ll be gone,” Axel greeted and without Tifa having to say it to him, he disappeared among the customers. Maybe there’d be some dishes by now? You know, then seconds after he’d made the last round?

Axel made it an art to occupy himself the night. He’d wash dishes sneaking silently next to Tifa and pretend not to hear anything they spoke of. It was quite easy actually since Cloud was mostly silent. When there were no dishes and no orders to fill, Axel spent his time getting more tips by spending time with the customers. Tifa nodded appreciating Axel’s attempts to stay away and he gladly accepted the little extra Tifa slipped by the end of the day with his payment. Cloud left with them at the closing time, but not once said a word to Axel.


	17. The Mighty Plan to Steal the Fries

It was a lazy Sunday. The kind that had neither a purpose nor a direction, but where it didn’t matter. Axel didn’t mind that Roxas had chosen just the precise day to appear, once again, behind his door. This time he’d been seeking refuge from the horror named Sora. Axel didn’t mind at all. Roxas had brought a pile of schoolbooks with him, but they lay untouched on the living room table. Roxas was idly leafing through one notebook, but his mind wasn’t really in it.

”I don’t hate school. I really don’t,” Roxas said and turned a new double-page spread filled with small scribble open, “but I wish it would be over already.”

“Good luck with that. Even I have a long way to go,” Axel said and reached for one of the forgotten books out of curiosity. So this was how high school psychology looked like nowadays?  Pretty much like he’d remembered it to be like, lots of names and studies and pictures explaining what the idea behind prying into human mind was. It really didn’t need explaining. Who wouldn’t want to know how to spy on other’s thoughts? “So, the exam week starts tomorrow?”

“Mm,” Roxas mumbled, and drew his fingers through his hair absentmindedly. He moved the notebook he’d been leafing through aside and reached for the next one. “I just want to go through this stuff one more time.” He opened a seemingly random page and then failed at the studying. Axel could see that Roxas wasn’t really reading the text on the page, his eyes were fixated on a single point, never moving down the lines.

“Have you eaten anything?” Axel asked and sat up. Roxas sat unmoved on the floor, legs crossed, leaning to the table, pretending that this was a better environment for studying than the one that a Sora occupied. Roxas didn’t really answer if he wanted something to eat, but Axel thought he saw him shook his head just slightly to say no to the question.  He got up without further questions – he wasn’t waiting. The clock on the wall told Axel he hadn’t had anything to eat during the whole day and it was getting two in the afternoon.

Axel wandered into the kitchen. He leaned onto the opened fridge door while looking through the ingredients he had in store. It was weekend and he was running low on everything, but true to his habits, he never served microwave-food when he had guests. Something he had picked from home, probably. He had been accustomed to noodles and food that told you how to make them with two to three simple steps from early age, but when he’d brought some friend with him home, mum had always managed to find something that didn’t taste like store. And that was exactly what Axel was going to achieve now.

The name for today’s dish was spaghetti and something. All the vegetables Axel had laying around made their way into the mess, accompanied with tuna and spices. It looked somewhat suspicious, but it didn’t taste bad for something he had made within fifteen minutes without any recipe or planning. It even managed to smell good enough to lure Roxas onto peeking into the kitchen.

“What is it?” Roxas asked staring at the yellowish sauce. “I mean, what’s in it?”

“This and that. I think the colour comes from the yellow pepper I used. There’s some tuna and tomatoes,” Axel introduced his cooking, which Roxas greeted with understandable suspiciousness. He still nodded when Axel took plates out and gestured if he wanted to try how awful it tasted.

With steaming bowls they returned to the living room. Roxas crossed once again his legs and placed the bowl down on them, not minding the heat radiating through. After few bites of the mess, he tried to return to studying, reaching over the bowl to the book turned upside down, left waiting on the table. Axel followed this awkward attempt, an amused smile trying to make its way onto his face, but stayed quiet, just followed the acrobatics it took Roxas to get the first page turned. Keeping the pages open with the other hand, Roxas took another bite, munched it in silence, without complaining about the taste, and managed to turn over the next leaf. The boy looked right at home. Pleased with that, Axel started hastily eating his own portion, stuffing it down with large bites. He really hadn’t eaten anything today.

Roxas’ amused snort made Axel raise his gaze from the spaghetti and interrupt the eating for a moment. Roxas kept his eyes tightly glued onto the pages of whatever he was then studying and this time wandered down the text. Axel took another bite, a bit slower this time and waited if the boy would have something to say. He didn’t, he only turned to the next double-page spread and ate his food without even glancing again at Axel.

“Much to cover still?” Axel asked, carefully keeping a calmer pace with his eating now. He tried to see what Roxas was reading about, but upside-down reading proved to be above his talents.

“Nah,” Roxas. He stayed silent after that comment, covered few pages of the subject. He didn’t have the patience to continue studying in silence for too long; he soon made attempts to get Axel’s attention. “I could eat some more,” Roxas said.

“You liked my cooking?” Axel asked, maybe somewhat taken by surprise, and delighted by it. He knew that what he made was edible, he just didn’t have too often people eating it and making comments. “Sure, there’s still enough leftovers,” Axel reassured and watched as Roxas gulped down what was still in the bowl. He got up to his feet and took a few steps towards the kitchen.

“Do you want some more?” Roxas asked and nodded towards the kitchen. Axel looked down into his bowl, estimated it empty and nodded. Roxas crossed the distance and stretched out his hand. Just for the briefest moments their fingers touched. He collected the bowls and was quick with his steps when he walked across the apartment and started loading them with the second portion. Axel followed his steps till the kitchen and then turned his attention and efforts to finally have a look on the book Roxas had used his time on.

“This is boring,” Axel stated as Roxas handed him his bowl. “What are you supposed to learn out of this?”

Roxas sat down and this time pushed the books out of the bowl’s way as he placed it on the table. Seemed like it would be enough of studying for the moment. “Health education. What did you expect? The most useless subject of all times. Like some pathetic comics are going to make us afraid of smoking for our lifetimes,” Roxas said and pointed the picture that had turned out as Axel glanced through the thick book.

“Smoking is bad, you know,” Axel said in definitely not a serious tone.

“Oh god, I don’t need you to tell me. I know it, and I don’t smoke. With all the training I would never want something else to make a mess of me,” Roxas sighed like this would’ve been something he’d been ranted about to before.

“A true athlete then? Never would have believed with the amount of the Game you’ve managed to play the time I’ve known you,” Axel remarked.

“We were on a summer break. And Hayner’s going to kill me soon. I’ve just skipped everything this summer. And this fall hasn’t been much of a difference. And there are some pretty big tournaments coming right after the next vacation. Sometimes I think I should just quit,” Roxas rambled and seemed distressed about the amount of things waiting him in the future.

“Quit,” Axel suggested. A simple answer, nothing that complicated gestures, not trying to sound funny of convincing, just stating the truth.

“Yeah, right. Struggle is something I’ve always been doing, I’m not going to leave it like that,” Roxas shook his head and turned the advice down. “Struggle is something that I just have to do.”

“Not that I’m an expert, but if you hate it, just leave it. Can’t annoy you if you aren’t around. Does apply to this Hayner fellow too.”

“Have you ever been serious about something else than the game? You can’t just leave from people or hobbies.”

“You can. And yes,” Axel said and nodded slowly to really emphasise the last word. “How do you think I ended up with my own apartment, a job, a place to study? “ That seemed to quiet Roxas. “I’m serious enough to try and save as much I can. I try to make it through the university-year without having to work every day.”

Roxas nodded. “Sounds wise.”

“It’s wise. I’m not the best one to hold on the money though,” Axel revealed a bit embarrassed. He used the money freely on booze and computer – had used on booze. He was quite sure that an end with the Friday-nights really had affected the amount money staying safe.

Roxas was quiet for a short moment. He swallowed the last bite and leaned then backwards, stretching out in a very relaxed manner on the carpet. There was a half forbidden yawn there too, Axel saw how Roxas’ lips parted the tiniest before the boy managed to shook himself awake. This _was_ nice. This thing they had. It was so easy to just keep the conversation going. No awkward pauses. Nothing forced. “What are you studying?”

“Right now?” Axel asked. “Previous year there was something that reminded psychology. Now something of the same. The next year maybe something else. Haven’t made any decisions. Just drifting, Trying to figure out what there is for me to do.”

“Sounds pretty nice.”

Axel took a moment to think about the answer. “I guess it is. Complete freedom to mess your life up,” he agreed and smiled the seriousness of the words away.

**xxx**

Five o’clock. Time to log in. Axel performed the usual routine of stretching his fingers, checking that both the mouse and the keyboard were working properly and then placing the headphones on. The usual chanting on the background confirmed that everything was in order and he was ready for a night in the Game.

The forest shone in a nice evening-red when Axel’s avatar walked into view. She waved the new staff Axel had managed to loot from the sorceress-not-so-scary-and-indestructible-after-all the clan had encountered during yesterday’s mission. Axel really didn’t care much about owning the trinket. Pretty, but useless.

“Evening, Axel,” Saïx greeted and his character bowed shortly. That was obviously all the politeness needed for the evening as the following words were not so kind anymore.  “What about you giving the trophy to someone who needs it? I’m not stupid enough not to see you grinning at the screen now, you know.”

“The staff should definitely belong to someone who _isn’t_ the one who won the wicked witch and deserved the price,” Axel taunted.

“You won’t learn anything new from it,” Saïx pointed out.

“And how do you know about that exactly?”

“I asked Zexion,” Saïx said nonchalantly. “And besides, you’re a _blue mage._ You don’t learn stuff from equipment.”

“No need to point that one out,” Axel said, made a pretty smile and a mental note that Zexion wasn’t a safe choice to tell any secrets to. “So, tell me dear Saïx,” Axel acted all interested now. “ Why should you have it?”

“Give it to me if Saïx is out of the question!” Demyx stated out loud and joined the chorus of sore losers. “I can learn something new and _very_ interesting. Zexion mentioned that you found something I could learn the Jitterbug of. I learn something important, you won’t, you want to annoy Saïx, you give it to me,” Demyx reasoned and his avatar tilted her pretty head and fluttered her eyelashes.

“And the next contestant will be Luxord?” Axel asked waiting for the litany of reasons why the staff should belong to somebody else. Luxord turned around, not looking especially interested.

“Me? Why take part in such a gamble as your game is?” Luxords said and wasn’t even interested in the answers. His character turned his back to the arguing group.

“I could heal myself if I learn the Jitterbug,” Demyx told and took the spotlight once again. “A dance that leaves nobody cold... It makes small bugs crawl all around and collect health points from the enemy and then brings them to me. And all this while everybody stares at me dancing,” he gave some details while danced some old dance Axel had no idea what it did. The woman whose body Demyx was controlling shook her hips in the most stereotypical way imaginable and drew pictures in the air with her hands.  

Saïx was not too interested in Demyx’s show. “The enemy being whoever stands near?” There was something Saïx muttered under his breath about ‘a useless skill for a useless dancer’, but that was probably very much intended to be heard.

“I don’t know,” Demyx shrugged to answer the question. “Does it really matter?” he asked with a smile spreading on the female’s face. Maybe he was trying to look cute, but all Axel saw was a greedy grin.

“What about you Saïx? Would you learn something new out of this shiny staff?” Axel asked making puffs of smoke to demonstrate the shininess. “No?”

“Don’t see a reason to give away my secrets. Give it to somebody or throw away, I don’t care.”

“Nonchalant now?” Axel laughed. “You’re free to keep dreaming, I’m keeping it.”

“Are you ready with your squabble?” asked Xemnas not sounding too annoyed. This was too usual, something that would never end, it really didn’t mean anything. No-one said anything to answer their leader’s question, but they could keep a small break anytime to keep Xemnas happy. “Good. Now, about tonight. Tonight we’re going to wander around in search of rumours and new missions. I haven’t found anything grand for us.”

Saïx stayed with his chocobo and kept Axel’s company, but Demyx gave up and followed Xemnas’ lead. Roxas, whom Axel had seen trading items with Vexen, decided to tolerate the still going argument and walked close to them as the Clan left the camping site.

“So. What’s going to happen to the staff now?” Roxas asked once Axel and Saïx quieted down.

“I’m keeping it, naturally,” Axel told. “Or do you want it?” he then asked and got just the reaction he had been hoping for from Saïx.

 “What?” Saïx’s character turned around to look at him.

“Me?” Roxas just repeated the question. “I guess?”

“Don’t think you’re really getting it!” Saïx lashed.

“Here you go,” Axel said loudly and handed the award of being in the right place for annoying the hell out of Saïx over to Roxas. Roxas made his character express surprise, not hiding the bewilderment Axel was causing now.

“Um... Thanks,” Roxas mumbled. The staff disappeared from the characters hands and moved to the virtual backpack. Roxas didn’t equip the staff, it was not one he could really use. It was useless to him as it had been to Axel.

“Axel,” Saïx snarled now sounding very much pissed off. “I don’t care why you want to favour the rookie, but don’t even dare to think that’s wise.”

“Saïx, Saïx, kill something next time if you want to get something shiny. Roxas helped me out during the mission; it’s my choice to show some gratitude.”

“Gratitude? Try that shit with kids still in elementary school,” Saïx said. “I’ll accept the trinket when you realise that what you’re now doing is foolish,” he continued and Axel had no idea if Saïx had pointed the words at him or at Roxas – it was Roxas who took few steps aside threatened by the tone. Saïx turned his chocobo around and left Axel and Roxas alone.

It was Roxas who broke the silent almost immediately Saïx was gone. “What was that?”

“Saïx unable to come up with a snarky reply. He’s gotten rusty,” Axel laughed.

Roxas didn’t feel that sure about Axel amusement. “Are you sure this was wise? You don’t want the staff back?”

“Don’t worry. Saïx doesn’t dare to shun you just because I gave you a trinket. He knows better.” About these words Axel was sure, Saïx wouldn’t be foolish enough to bother Roxas. Why he had gotten so angry over a minor matter Axel didn’t know though. This was unusual. Saïx knew Axel and his teasing, he knew better than to get angry over those words. “Sell the thing next time we hit a town.”

**xxx**

”We should stop meeting like this,” Axel said and grinned as Roxas opened the door. ”Okay, I admit it. I’m bored. You got something to do?”

Roxas smiled at the stupid joke, and to Axel’s great pleasure shook his head. “No? Thought I’d do some homework. Just some math. Nothing too important.”

“You got any food in the fridge?”

Roxas lifted a curious eyebrow. “Nothing edible.”

“That’s a setback,” Axel muttered and had to stop for a moment to think – well, at least act like he had to – and came up with a solution with a bright smile, “I know! Let’s go the Chinese place around the corner.”

Roxas was doing his best to terrorize Axel’s plans though. “Nah, don’t want to go there,” Roxas said and really didn’t look like he’d be easy to talk into the idea. “It’s basically the only place Sora and I can go. Tomatoes, you know.”

“What?”

Roxas looked like he realised he’d forgotten to mention something - which he really had. Tomatoes wasn’t a codeword that kicked Axel’s hidden secret agent-skills into use. Roxas looked at Axel’s loony grin for a confused moment and then stated flatly, “He’s allergic. Sora. He drops dead if he touches tomatoes.”

“Oh,” a very much more composed Axel said. “Where to then?”

“Hamburger or pizza?”

“I eat too much pizza, hamburger it is. My treat.”

And before Axel even thought of explaining what ‘my treat’ meant, Roxas stopped him. “We’ve done this before. Yeah, you won’t get bankrupt because some hamburgers. Yes, I’ll just get my shoes,” he said.

“You’re learning,” Axel laughed.

Roxas didn’t answer, just turned around to yell, “Okay, I’m going out with Axel. I’ve got my phone!”  and then close the door before Sora answered anything. Axel looked at Roxas amused, but didn’t say anything as they got down the stairs.

“To the one down that street of to the left?” Roxas asked. He was looking up, standing a couple of steps lower.

Axel as usually shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t care.” It didn’t matter where they went.

“Could you just once decide something before you come and ask someone out?” Roxas asked and hurried the last steps down and stopped to wait Axel at the door he gentlemanly kept open for him to pass.

“I didn’t plan to ask you out; I planned to eat your fridge empty.” Which was a lie. Almost. Had there been food, Axel had no policy forbidding him to eat a friend’s fridge empty.

Roxas didn’t bother answering and only nodded to the left to help Axel make the right turn.

Few short second in silence and Axel failed in keeping quiet. “So how’s school?”

Roxas shook his head this time sharply. “Don’t even ask. It’s Sunday. I don’t talk about school on my day off.” Few more steps without talking and this time Roxas decided to break the silence.  “Have you seen the trailers for the Sleeping beauty?”

“What? Are they out already? Why don’t I ever know about these things?”

“I dunno,” Roxas said. “It doesn’t seem like it going to be as good as the previous one though.”

“Really? Have to see the trailer before I judge it myself. Have to see the movie to judge,” Axel said. “All I know about it is that it reminds me a little too much of their first movie.”

“I don’t think Vault is going to make two too similar works,” Roxas said and looked around. “Axel, we passed the place already.”

“Oh. Yeah, you’re right. Okay, come on, let’s cross the street here,” Axel said and caught Roxas hand firmly enough to drag him over the street without a warning.

“Hey! You can’t just cross streets like that!” Roxas yelped and looked somewhat shocked.

“There was no traffic,” Axel laughed. “Besides, I’m hungry.”

Roxas rolled his eyes. “You can let go of my hand now.”

“Come on, stop whining,” Axel said and did let go of the said hand to push a door open. “What do wanna eat?”

“Um… I haven’t been here for a while. What’s new?” Roxas asked and started looking through the list over the cashiers. “I’ll take the rye-burger.”

Axel grimaced at the picture. “Why? It looks awful.”

“You’re one to speak. You like cinnamon-ice cream.”

“So do you,” Axel  answered. “I’ll take the cheese deluxe. You sure about your order?”

“I’ll go get the table,” Roxas said as an answer and left Axel there standing in the queue.

The burgers, fries and soft drinks found to the table next to the windows without too much trouble. Axel eyed Roxas rye-burger with suspicion.

“Want a taste?” Roxas asked.

Axel’s answer was a firm, “No.” He unwrapped his burger and took a good bite.

Roxas shrugged but gave him a smile after it. “Didn’t have any trouble eating my ice cream.”

“It had cinnamon in it,” Axel muttered as his defence.

“Your loss. Anyway,” Roxas changed subject, “About the Sleeping Beauty.”

“Vault can make no wrong?”

“I’m not saying it isn’t possible, but the trailers gave completely different feel. It’s more…Artistic.”

“It’s a girl-power-chick-flick. How can it possibly be artistic?” Axel doubted.

“You haven’t even seen the trailer yet. You’re not entitled to your opinion.”

Roxas looked too smug, he really did. It didn’t help Axel had nothing to counter with. He took a few bites of his burger to give himself some time. “So, I noticed-” he said between bites. “- that you were busy this Friday. You didn’t answer your phone.”

“What?”

“Where were you?”

“I had my struggle practice?” Roxas replied. He then rolled his eye in a very exaggerated way. “You needed me to confirm your alibi again?”

“Kinda?”

“They don’t actually believe that you’d be with me. Why even try? They’re convinced you’ve got a girlfriend. Just tell them you have one and they’d leave you alone and _me_ alone. I mean seriously. I don’t need Larxene calling me to check your alibies out,” Roxas said. He was happily devouring the strange looking burger.

Axel folded his burger wrapper nice and cleanly before reaching for his fries. “If I say I’ve got a girlfriend, they’d want to see her,” he reasoned.

Roxas gave one of his are-you-truly-an-adult-looks. “Just hire someone to play the part.”

“Really, Roxas? Really? Way to stoop down,” Axel said and did manage to make Roxas blush. He then grinned. This was way too good an opportunity not to take. There was a story to be spun. “But if that the way it is… No, it’s too expensive. Let’s just dress you in drag. I’m sure no-one would see the difference,” Axel suggested.

“Thanks a lot?” Roxas said with an awkward laugh.

“It wasn’t an insult,” Axel said. “You’d probably look good in a dress.”

“I know you’re in a desperate need of a girlfriend, but newsflash, I’m not a girl,” Roxas said flatly.

Axel was taken aback. He hadn’t expected Roxas to take the joke this badly. “I have noticed that one, trust me. I did say in a drag.”

“You’re not helping your case, you know,” Roxas said and hid behind his soda for a moment. “I’m not going to be your girlfriend. Just give up.”

“Would dating me be that horrible? Please say no.” The words were out without a second of thought.  Axel took quickly an interest on the fries not to have to look at Roxas right now.  That was not  what he had wanted to say. It just… slipped out.

Roxas was quiet for a while and Axel kept eating the fries until there was none left. When he was forced to look up, Roxas flashed him a stiff smile. “You’re kinda creeping me out.”

“Calm down, Roxas, I was just joking,” Axel said. “Why get on your high horse for this?”

Roxas stared at him and it didn’t look like he’d start laughing any moment now. Axel just kept smiling. He didn’t trust the words right now. He probably shouldn’t have said the last one. Or actually, anything about getting Roxas into a dress. Bad Idea. Where _did_ he get all these brilliant ideas? Time to backtrack and fast.

“They wouldn’t have really believed it if we’d dressed you in a drag,” Axel apologized and took a casual sip from his soda. He was suddenly unsure how one did just that, but he hoped that he’d managed to pretend he wasn’t completely lost. “So- You mentioned struggle practice. The friend of yours is happy now that your back?”

Roxas looked at him funny. “I guess?”

“Okay.” Why didn’t Roxas want to change the subject? Axel hoped that the panic wasn’t reaching his eyes. Really, Roxas, concentrate. Get a brain. Time to change the subject. “Are you going to eat all your fries?”

Roxas looked at the burger wrappers, half empty mug and half eaten fries like he’d forgotten their existence. “Yes.”

“You know, I was asking if I could have one. Or two.”

“Say what you want aloud for once?” Roxas snapped.

“There’s no way to misinterpret ‘are you going to eat those’,” Axel said and realised that he too had raised his voice. He took care to calm down before he continued. ”I’d say I’ve been straightforward enough the whole evening-”

He stopped. He stopped abruptly in the middle of the sentence because he knew that he had no punch line ready. What he was about to say was a complete lie. He had no joke prepared to hide it away this time. He just dropped the sentence and wished he had something to hide behind, but he’d already finished with his food.

He’d had something of a plan before he’d actually met with Roxas. Now, there was nothing of it left.  He’d messed up. Tonight – half intentionally – had been all about finding out how far this friendship could go and Roxas was right, he definitely hadn’t said what he really wanted. He hadn’t had the words for it. Hadn’t dared. Hadn’t wanted. He didn’t know. It wasn’t like he’d written the plan down on paper. He’d just thought that maybe-

“Lost the punch line”, Axel said with a false grin.

Roxas looked at him. He certainly saw right through him now. The web of little half-truths dangling there in the air between the two of them was slowly suffocating Axel. Axel smiled back, but a voice in his head kept nagging. That little voice that normally kept him away from problems was now making pretty credible arguments against continuing like this. He just couldn’t expect this to end well and he just couldn’t wait anymore. He’d just- No. He didn’t know anything anymore. He knew only one thing for sure: he owed Roxas some sort of explanation. He didn’t want Roxas looking at him like that. Wondering what the hell was wrong with him now, what was going on in his head, why was he acting like this? It would’ve been a good thing if Axel himself knew an answer to any of the questions.

“Your either not interested or you’re definitely related to Cloud,” he said finally. He sighed. , There it was now, out in the open.

Roxas looked confused. “What? What had Cloud have to do with anything?” he asked. “And interested in what?”

“So you really, really, _really_ didn’t get it?” Axel asked, baffled. He’d thought that _this_ was straightforward enough for anyone and still, there was Roxas sitting straight in front of him, not getting it.

“Get what?”

“That I- Um… I was kinda-” Axel said scratching his head, “hitting on you? At some point before it turned into this caricature of a bad sitcom.”

“Oh,” Roxas said and the awkward silence was there and nobody was surprised. It kept stretching on and on and filling the whole room with it loud silnece. “You- Really?”

Axel nodded. His smile was just barely staying alive.

“I’m so sorry,” Roxas muttered and looked everywhere else than at Axel. He was up on his feet in a hurry.  “I need to go.”

“See ya,” Axel said, but Roxas didn’t acknowledge the words as he was rushing away. Roxas didn’t look at his direction while getting out, not once. All there was for Axel to do was to keep the smile alive and not let what had just happened hit him with full force. He reached for the remaining fries on Roxas’ tray and ate them while not trying to see how fast Roxas ran away.

xXx

Roxas had managed to distract Sora from his restlessness by forcing him to watch an old classic immediately after getting home. Which hadn’t been such a good idea since the first one he’d named happened to be Vault’s first creation – one that might or might not have some similarities with the newest movie. All Roxas could think about was that maybe Axel had a point in comparing a princess to another and once Roxas had lost interest in the movie itself, Axel’s words – the many of them – didn’t leave him alone. What was important though was that Sora didn’t notice any of this and was still completely oblivious to Roxas problems concentrating when the ending credits rolled.

Roxas had gone early to bed and woken up early, taken the earlier bus to avoid Axel if he’d tried something and everything had gone in a blur – that is, until lunch time came. He would’ve gotten through the day a lot better if he’d not opened the damn message, but then again Naminé would have been even more worried if he’d dismissed an arriving text all too blatantly. And well, he hadn’t even thought about faking to read it since his mind had gone to a specific kind of a shutdown with Axel’s name.

He should have said not to call. Okay, Axel would’ve pointed out that texting and calling weren’t the same thing and gotten away anyway. And he’d tried to get angry – and failed. Roxas didn’t know what to think when he knew how a scenario like this would’ve played out.

“Something important?” Naminé asked and Roxas looked up from the phone he didn’t know how long he’d stared at.

“Nah,” Roxas said and put the phone away. He’d kind of wanted to keep reading the three lines over and over again till he knew them by heart – then again NO. “Nothing.”

Naminé gave him a look that made him guess that he’d been caught of a lie, but gotten out of the hook this time. She smiled and the seriousness of the look was gone. “Okay. So, have you done the math homework?”

Roxas smiled embarrassed scratching his head. “No. Kinda forgot?”

“Again?” Naminé asked with a smile and then looked though her bag to find the notebook that contained the material Roxas should copy as quickly as he should. Naminé didn’t say anything, ask anything, but Roxas knew he’d managed to blow the whole nothing-interesting-going-on-here act. He tried to reassure her a couple of times but wasn’t too convincing while doing so, what with Naminé giving him strange look every time.

He went home on the first bus he had to run to, leaving without a goodbye. It was when he got home empty of Sora that he took his phone out again and read the text for a second time. Read it more than twice even if he wouldn’t have needed this extra time to learn it. The first time had been enough.

‘Yesterday didn’t go over so well. We need to talk. When and where?’

Three options. He could just say goodbye, not answer, avoid Axel everywhere, the Game, never go to Tifa’s bar or get her to fire him – no, that would’ve been just cruel. There was no way to avoid your neighbour completely.

He could go and say he wasn’t interested and hope Axel could just let it all go and they’d return to being friends – Yeah, well, that one worked so well with everyone, didn’t it? You can’t just forget like this- How could he say that thanks, but no thank you and manage to get over it and forget?

Then there was the third option.

xXx

He’d said that five o’clock, but it wasn’t too much past half and he stood already on the doorsteps of the coffee house he’d chosen to act as a neutral ground. It was public place where he could run away if he felt like it and where no-one who knew either of them should by accident find their way into. No-one who Roxas knew would be this far away and in a no-name place like this. He’d really thought this trough. So through he had to get out of the house before Sora got any more worried about his pacing back and forth. He hadn’t explained anything to him. He had just left with the first opportunity presented itself.

He’d have time to get a cup of coffee and try to relax. He still had twenty minutes to go, so there was no hurry. He could easily think over everything he would say, so there wouldn’t be need for twenty minutes of awkward staring when no-one said anything.

Or so he thought. For one reason or another Axel had also come early and sat already there when Roxas opened the door and looked for an empty place. Axel was never early. He’d be annoyingly every single time on the last minute, but never _early._

Roxas had already come all this way and there was no way he’d chicken out now. Not even when he saw Axel sitting there already. Not when Axel looked up at the sound of door opening and saw him. He really couldn’t turn around and run even though at that moment he would’ve even admitted that was what he wanted to do.

It was the most awkward ‘hi’ he’d ever forced to encounter he decided as he slid to the chair opposite of Axel. Axel had already gotten a cup of coffee and Roxas didn’t feel like getting up immediately again to get himself something.

“Do you want something to drink?” Axel asked.

“Sure. Latte,” Roxas said without hesitating and tried to look calm and relaxed, and it wasn’t hard when compared to Axel. Axel… was fidgeting as he got up to fetch the order. Quite noticeably.

In a few minutes they both sat on their seats and looked at everywhere else but each other’s faces.

“So-” Axel began after a too long silence. “About yesterday…”

“I’ve been thinking,” Roxas answered and looked at his latte. It wasn’t really that interesting, but how was he about to talk about stuff like this with Axel? He wished had had the time to think his line through. “Were you serious?”

Axel tried with a smile, but it wasn’t his usual confident grin, but something way more unsure and it didn’t make Roxas feel any more ready as to what this was going. “Yeah. Kinda yeah.”

“Kinda?”

“Well, actually not kinda. Wholly.”

“Okay,” Roxas said nodded. “So, um… yeah. Um…Why me?”

“Actually, I don’t – I don’t know. Just felt like it.”

Well, that was not the answer he had been hoping for. “Just because you felt like it.”

Axel raised his hands up defensively. “Okay, so I haven’t really sorted it out too good. Does it honestly look like I know what I’m doing? I mean… The fact that I’m messing everything up doesn’t mean I didn’t mean what I said.”

“Axel, I’m giving you a chance now. So, um, could you try making some sense?” Roxas pleaded.

“Okay then, fine, let’s make it brief. I wanna ask you out. I have wanted to ask you out for weeks now. So, will you go out with me?” After he was finished with his words, Axel looked at him. This time, his gaze didn’t wander.

Roxas waited to get the shock out of his voice. “That was blunt.”

“It was kinda meant to be,” Axel said and seemed to have relaxed a bit. He took a sip of his coffee.

“Weeks?” Roxas asked. He hadn’t noticed anything. He should’ve, right? Sure, they’d spent a lot of time together – knocking on each other’s doors and just being. Not doing anything specific. Had Axel been any different? Had there been flimsy excuses to spend time together?

“Yeah, weeks. Could you please give an answer now?” Axel begged. He was really begging. Roxas blinked a couple of times. He had never heard Axel be this unsure about himself. Was all this because of him?

“Okay then,” Roxas said and this time kept his eyes off the coffee mug. It took an effort to stay calm and composed, because he did not know what he was getting into. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Axel asked like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was really staring now.

“Yeah, but with few rules,” Roxas said. Now that he had started, the words kept coming. “Call me a girl one more time and you’re going to get kicked where it hurts the most.”

Axel looked shell-shocked, but nodded quickly.  

“No public displays of affection. Nothing – and I mean NOTHING – in front of the clan. My family doesn’t need to know. And if you value your life Cloud better not hear anything. Clear enough?”

Axel nodded his head again, went still for a moment and then it looked like what he’d heard finally hit him. “Yeah, Cloud, no. That’s the only thing I would have asked from you.”

“No pet names.”

“Okay. None whatsoever. Was that all?”

“Nothing strange,” Roxas added just to be safe. “I think that was it. If something comes in mind I’ll tell you.”

Axel nodded. Then he suddenly smiled brightly. “Wow…. Did that just happen? Are you seriously okay with me? Can I kiss you now?”

“Cafés count as public spaces,” Roxas said as calmly as he could. His heart was beating fast.

Axel was finding his confidence faster than Roxas had thought. “That was a promise,” Axel said with a familiar grin.

 Roxas decided _not_ to answer that one. “So, what changes?” he asked instead. He should’ve probably asked about it before agreeing to anything, he realised, but then again, it looked like that he was almost as bad as Axel in keeping himself together. What were they doing? How had they suddenly ended up here?

“I don’t know, but I want to ask you out now. On a real date,” Axel said.

“Okay. Where and when?”

“I’ve got a day off tomorrow.”

“You probably can’t come up with a where?” Roxas asked with a lifted eyebrow.

“By tomorrow I will,” Axel reassured.

“Yeah, right.” Roxas couldn’t help a laugh and Axel looked so relieved that Roxas kept smiling.

“It’s a date then?” Axel asked cheerfully.

“You can’t stop asking that one now,” Roxas said and hid behind his cup of coffee.


	18. We were dealt strange odds

Axel was going to take him out tonight on a date. It was all that Roxas could think of right now and he was both exited and scared to death, but without a doubt, the waiting was the most horrifying part.  He had never been on a proper date before. There had been some sort of flings in the past, those playful ‘let’s be an item and date’- kind of deals between children, but those relationships had lasted for an hour, maybe a day. This date was the real deal. And Roxas definitely didn’t want Axel to know that he had nothing to compare it to.

Axel had asked him out, and both knew that this wasn’t supposed to be just something between friends. How would it be different? Was Axel expecting him to be someone else or was Axel going to be something completely different that Roxas had grown to expect of him? Too many questions and too much time to come up with new ones, Roxas realised as he stared at the ceiling while taking a moments rest on the couch after running in circles for the better half of an hour.

Thank God that Sora wasn’t home to see him this freaked out. Sora would’ve known there was something wrong immediately if he’d seen Roxas walk around the apartment after, what he pretended not to be, pointless patterns. He’d sat in front of the computer, realised he’d forgotten his soda in the kitchen, gone to get it and on the way realised there were some used dishes to collect – just his humble attempt to clean the place up led him to find one or two plates, mugs and utensils more every time he stepped out of the kitchen and so went after them, again and once again. He’d tried to make some of his homework, but forgotten first pencil and paper, then his calculator and lastly he realised he had lost his notes about which exercises he should make. And that was when he’d finally given up.

Roxas wasn’t oblivious that he was nervous. He had been tense since yesterday evening and it wasn’t completely in a bad way, Axel was Axel and Roxas liked Axel’s company, but- All of this was just too weird. It might be too weird. I might also be something Roxas would enjoy. He just, he just… He didn’t know which.

Roxas forced himself to shake his head clear from the thoughts that were really clouding his mind from the moment. There was nothing that weird really going on. He sat on the couch, stared at the clock and tried to pull together an act of not really waiting the doorbell or being afraid of it. He didn’t want to look too anxious, but not disinterested either since that _definitely_ wasn’t how he was feeling, when Axel would finally decide that it was time to get here.

When the dreadful thing happened and the doorbell rang, Roxas ran even though he had decided not to. He took a moment to still his breath, smiled, opened the door and said hi. Axel looked like himself and nodded shortly as a greeting.

The next thing Roxas noticed they were walking down the street without any fixed destination.

“So, um, where are we going?” Roxas asked Axel who was striding next to him, quiet for the moment and looking pretty confident in that he had everything in control. Roxas choose immediately that today was no day to doubt it.

“Where do we want to go?” Axel asked and there was the uncertain grin again. Roxas couldn’t help a snort.

“You said you’d come up with a where.”

“I tried my hardest,” Axel said looking and sounding sincere. “And I have a plan if you don’t have any better.”

“I’m sorry, but I didn’t think I should’ve come up with your emergency plan. Do brief me next time if one is necessary and I’ll see if I can do something.” Roxas stated and couldn’t help the smallest feeling of relief – Axel wasn’t going to do too much changing if this was the way he thought proper dates looked like.

 Roxas got a grin from Axel. “I like the sound of next time.”

“Don’t dream too big. I don’t know if I’m too convinced yet,” Roxas laughed the thought off.  Maybe. “You have the whole day,” Roxas said and looked up to Axel to make a decision.

“You’re not going to get disappointed. But you sure you don’t have any place where you’d want to go?” Axel asked and nodded to the left, to the direction where the bus stop lay. They had little choices about transportation to the town. After they’d gotten to the town there’d be more options, a lot more options to choose from.

“Shouldn’t you be the one to know where to?” Roxas asked as Axel looked at the timetable plastered to the wall.

“Why?” Axel turned around and asked really looking like he expected some sort of explanation. Roxas didn’t have anything witty to respond with, partly out of fear he was now applying some clichéd expectations since he didn’t know better. “Let’s just decide on the spot? We’re going to end somewhere with that tactic for sure,” Axel suggested and looked convincing enough to make Roxas agree.

“Somewhere, sure,” Roxas had to roll his eyes, but Axel seemed to be in a good mood and just laughed.

This had to be the strangest day of his life, Roxas decided for the umpteenth time today. Axel leaned to the cold concrete wall next to him and both were ready for the long wait for the bus – one sign more that Axel really was useless in making plans. Waiting wasn’t too bad, it was a nice afternoon and one could easily think about spending the day outside, even this late in the autumn.

The weather was nothing special though. These kind of days there had been plenty of for a few weeks already. They began after the sunny days of the summer were all spent, but the winter wasn’t there yet. A chilly wind and warm sunlight created an autumn day.

“Hey, earth to Roxas, do you copy?” Axel called and there was a gentle nudge to his side. Damn, his thoughts sure were wandering. The bus stood there right in front of him and sighed as it opened its door to let them step in. Roxas hadn’t noticed the car at all before Axel had awoken him from his daydreaming. How much more nervous could he look like? Axel was just Axel and didn’t expect anything strange from him. Or Roxas hoped he didn’t.

The bus ride was a surprisingly easy one. They weren’t alone in the bus and all attempts of conversation were prevented by the loud chatter a group of friends were making while picking the place where to spend their night. Axel smiled apologizing after a few lines of conversation between too deaf people and settled with staring out of the window for the rest of the ride.

They left the bus along with the noisy group, but luckily for Axel and Roxas the group took the first turn to the right whereas Axel lead Roxas straightforward along the main street. “Do we want to pick some coffee house here nearby?” Axel asked. “I know some nice places where we might even find a free table or two.”

Roxas shrugged and agreed. A coffee shop he could handle. He’d been to those. They weren’t usually too fancy or scary. “You could’ve decided a place beforehand too, you know,” Roxas pointed out after they’d taken the first few steps towards the destination only Axel knew at the moment. He’d called it the Clock Tower and Roxas didn’t know anything about it, but Axel convinced him that it was a real place maybe a bit farther than two blocks.

“I think everything works just fine without too much planning,” Axel disagreed. “I didn’t want to be all ‘this is the place we’re going and you don’t get a say’.”

“I could’ve said something if it wasn’t okay. It’s not like you scare me or anything,” Roxas said and grinned a little. If Axel thought he had to watch his steps around him, he was really wrong. “I can hold out in a fight. Even if it’s Sora that I usually have to fight with.”

Axel laughed. “Never doubted it. But I’ve heard that Sora beats you in struggle.”

“Who told you that? You shouldn’t know that!”

“What? Ashamed?” Axel whispered just before he had to make way for people walking to the opposite direction. The closer Axel and Roxas got to the theatre- and shopping-district of the town, the more people tried to push their way straight between Axel and Roxas. Roxas noticed that Axel was still keeping a safe distance between them; he stayed far enough not to occasionally brush at one another while dodging passers-by.

 “Sora told me,” Axel revealed when people let them walk close to each other once again. “He was pretty proud of it.”

“He should be,” Roxas stated.

“Hey, what about that place?” Axel asked pretty much out of the blue and nodded towards a coffee shop they’d pass soon. “It looks nice and empty enough.”

Roxas glanced to the direction and shook firmly his head. “Axel, I don’t think you want to go there,” he said.

“Eh? It doesn’t look that weird a place,” Axel wondered.

“It’s a nice place, but Marluxia works there,” Roxas said. “I’m surprised you don’t know that.”

“Not the place to go then,” Axel gave the place a quick glance and quickened his steps immediately after. “I’m not a stalker. Don’t know everything about everyone.”

Never had Roxas been more thankful to Naminé and her gossiping. Otherwise, this evening might’ve taken a very interesting turn. Explaining anything at all to Marluxia and managing to make it sound convincing when it was a lie... Roxas was glad not to be forced to even try. 

“So, this coffee house of yours? How far is it?” Roxas asked.

“Not far at all.” Axel led them soon away from the crowded area by taking a sudden turn to the left onto an almost alley-like street with few neon signs on the walls. Roxas was relieved when they left the alley and continued walking a street leading uphill for a while. The place Axel had been talking about was found midway up the hill, a place with large windows, but a calm interior. The name _The Clock Tower_ didn’t seem to have anything at all to do with the place. There were people inside, but Axel was confident that they’d have a table to spare.

There was no specific smell to the place. Not the usual flavour of coffee, nothing freshly backed from the oven, everything they sold there were sealed behind sanitary glass and the machines that made the coffee were large bolted-to-the-counter-monsters that shone in metallic colours. But the place was otherwise nice. The tables were low, dark and wooden and there were couches and armchairs to sit in. Some colourful, abstract painting adored the wall; light stripes. The customers were a nice mix of those Axel’s age and those of Roxas’, but in the time Axel search took Roxas found no groups where the age-groups mixed expect of theirs.

Axel found a table, but he was lucky. There was a small party just leaving and Axel snatched their table before they even managed to get their coats on. Pushing the used dished to one side, Axel cleaned them a nice space and beckoned Roxas to come closer and sit down. That was when Roxas realised he’d done it once again, stood still and stared for an unnecessary long time.

“Okay, this is my treat now. What will I get to you?” Axel stated as soon as Roxas had managed to sit down. He had a firm look on his face that didn’t allow any protests.

“Something.”

“Okay, something it is,” Axel stated like he’d gotten a very specific order. He was gone and back almost quicker with two steamy mugs of coffee and something that looked like apple cake, two slices of it. “I hope you’ve eaten properly already since I only feel like getting as much sugar into my bloodstream as possible.”

“I have,” Roxas reassured and took one of the mugs and took a small sip. It was too hot for gulping down it yet, but it tasted okay. Roxas wasn’t a habitual drinker of coffee, but he had been introduced to the miraculous liquid a few exam weeks ago. Shortening the time needed for sleeping left more time for studying.

“What do you think of this place? Found it all by myself,” Axel told a proud grin on his face. He leaned to the armrest and mixed sugar into his coffee.

Roxas nodded shortly a few times to give his approval. “It alright.” Roxas wished he’d had more to say about the place or the food or anything, but he didn’t. He could feel the upcoming uncomfortable silence closing in, wrapping them inside it, turning this evening into a nightmare – and then Axel started talking.

“Let’s not make this an awkward night, clear?” It was almost an order. “I know, my fault. I’ve created a situation that can’t be anything but scary and strange and plain out weird, but... You said yes so you can’t be that horrified.”

“No, I’m not horrified,” Roxas stated and realised he was amused by Axel’s sudden need to reassure himself. He had been unbelievably calm the whole time, but some cracks of humanity here and there, they were a nice touch.

Axel took his first sip of sugar with coffee. “Good. That’s good. Well, um, you have to have questions you think are stupid and don’t think I want to be asked, but ask them anyway. Let’s clear the air a bit. But I won’t guarantee any clever answers,” Axel said, serious and joking.

Roxas decided to give it a go. “Well, um, why me?”

Axel launched onto an explanation without a breath between the question and the answer. “To tell the truth, if destiny hadn’t kept pushing you onto me all the time, I’d lived my life thinking you were a weirdo just like Cloud,” Axel didn’t grin or smile and was as far as Roxas could tell serious now.  “You don’t need to try and reassure me Cloud isn’t a weirdo – you are not going to succeed in that.”

“I wouldn’t waste my time trying. I know how Cloud is.”

“Good. And it wasn’t an insult comparing you to Cloud,” Axel added the last thought with a hurry. “I mean, I realised already that it isn’t the case, right?”

Roxas leaned to his hand and inspected the fumbling Axel who seemed less and less wise with every word that came out. Roxas said this aloud.

“I don’t usually have dates who listen too carefully to what I say. It’s the looks that get me dates,” Axel told.

Roxas smiled. “I should’ve known you’d resort to something like this.”

“And what does that mean?”

“I know your trademarked characterisation includes bad puns. And I’m not oblivious to your big ego either, but I guess I just... wasn’t prepared to get hit on by the mess of those two.”

“You didn’t expect to get hit on by me.”

“Pretty much.”

“And I really thought I’d been too transparent.  And since I’ve said this much already, okay, I’ll add something more this time. I think you’re adorable and you’ll probably hate me for saying it aloud – cute.”

 “Cute and adorable? Not exactly what I like to think draw people onto me,” Roxas said, but he could feel his cheeks burning. “I guess you want the reason behind the yes?”

“Only if you care to tell me,” said Axel and the sudden tenseness in his posture screamed something along the lines of ‘start talking _now’_.

Roxas took a deep breath and gave honesty a try. “You really left me no choice when you asked yesterday. To choose between a yes and a pretty messed up friendship, well, there was no choice to leave it like it was. Not that I think that I shouldn’t have said yes. You’re funny. And you’re nice to have around. And well, you are, well in many ways, interesting.”

“Where was the hot and the dead gorgeous?” Axel lifted an eyebrow, suddenly breathing again.

“You can imagine it into the interesting,” Roxas said quickly and didn’t continue with something witty because a waitress had finally come to collect the dishes left by the previous customers. The immediate presence of a stranger reminded Roxas that there might be familiar faces even here. Familiar faces he didn’t want to see Axel and him. Which wasn’t the most sensible fear, but a fear nonetheless.

“Is there more questions?” Axel asked once the girl had left their table.

Roxas didn’t come up with something immediately, but the question he came up with was asked in a great hurry. “Do you know another place we could go to?”

Axel was slightly said surprised by that one since they had taken the first bites on the food and their coffees were practically untouched. He looked around the place to see what had made Roxas want ask that, but couldn’t see anything that should’ve made the boy that uncomfortable and asked for the reason.

Roxas tilted his head to the direction behind Axel’s head. His fear had come true immediately after he’d reminded himself of it. “Sora et company,” he whispered quickly.

Axel peeked over his shoulder and clearly saw the group of fiends standing outside the door of the coffeehouse discussing if they’d go inside. Riku had his hand on the handle already. Roxas was pretty sure he could read his own thoughts reflected on Axel’s face. Sora they would survive from, Kairi and Riku would cause a lot more explaining, but the presence of anyone of those three would kill the date-part of the evening.

“We have to try and find another place,” Axel said and took a deep draught of his coffee. Roxas followed the example and finished his piece of cake in large bites. They were sly enough with their exit not to get noticed by the trio. Once the trio had gotten inside and to the counter with their tray lasted with sweets, Axel and Roxas slipped through the place and out of the door.

They walked quickly up the hill just to be sure that they wouldn’t be caught in the street view either. Up there Roxas finally dared to laugh, “What are the odds?”

“Strange ones,” answered Axel.

“This date-thing of yours is not going too well according the plans.”

“Didn’t make any too complicated so don’t see a problem,” Axel replied.

Roxas gave a look to tell how unimpressed he was. “You do realise that this far we’ve managed to get a coffee and then get shooed away immediately after. How does this serve your plan?”

“It’s not what we usually do?”

“What do we usually do besides play the Game and meet by coincidence?”

“Talk about Vault? I thought about a movie, but since there’s nothing even mildly interesting right now-”

“And we’ve done that already,” Roxas said. “Okay, I shouldn’t need to ask this, but- You want to _date_ me? Why? I’m just so irresistible that friendship isn’t enough?” Roxas said half joking, half curious. By pretending it was just something worth laughing was the only way he got the courage to voice it aloud.

If he’d know how Axel reacted to the words, he would _never_ had collected the courage. Not in a million years. There are some things that just need to be muttered without too much thinking.

Axel turned to look at him and there was a new king of grin on his face – and next thing Roxas noticed was that he was backing towards the nearest wall and Axel was looming over him, his face mere inches away. But that was where Axel stopped, still grinning like a madman, leaning to the wall somewhere above Roxas head.

“That kinda sums it up,” Axel said and stepped back and started walking along the road as if nothing had happened. Roxas collected himself in record speed and was soon up to Axel’s speed.

“That’s an interesting reaction,” Axel said suddenly as they’d walked few steps without saying anything.

“How so?”

“Thought you’d be more freaked out or something,” Axel muttered and shrugged. “Not that I complain.”

“I’m still in shock? I _did not_ expect you to jump just like that.”

“I thought I made it clear what I wanted,” Axel said. “And I think I kept my distance quit admirably,” he added.

“No need,” Roxas said quickly.

“What?”

“I said yes. No need to be so careful all the time.”

“I like the sound of that.”

“There’s still the rule about public places,” Roxas said without looking at Axel.

“What do you think of the thought of heading back to my place right now?” Axel said and wiggled his eyebrows.

Roxas snorted. “That you’re either heading my advice not to be _too_ careful or you have no idea what we should do. “

“Let’s head back then?”

“We just got here!” Roxas protested.

Axel stopped and crossed his arm. “We’ve managed to waste an hour and a half already,” he pointed out.

“Still.”

“Okay, I know. Let’s go and eat two bars of ice cream in that park over there and _then_ head back. “

“Ice cream in this weather, this time of year?”

“We definitely haven’t done that yet.”

“No-one with half a brain has done that!”

“I can keep you warm if you’re afraid of getting a cold,” Axel reassured and the grin was back. Roxas realised – maybe not just to his horror – that that was the expression that Axel used to hit on people and that he was the one it was reserved this time around.

“You don’t need to try that hard. Alright! Let’s freeze to death eating some ice cream,” Roxas agreed to this crazy plan just to annoy Axel. Because it was clear that Axel wasn’t prepared to get a yes for an answer and giving one for the umpteenth time still felt like a good idea. Putting Axel out of balance was surprisingly fun and easy.

“I’ll protect you from the cold, but I don’t know what I can do to the lack of brains.”

“From where are we going to find the ice cream?” Roxas asked dismissing Axel’s insult or attempt to flirt or whatever he wanted to call it. Why and when it had turned so easy to just dismiss Axel acting like that, Roxas really didn’t know where to pinpoint. He knew that he didn’t mind the return to this easiness in their banter.

They started walking down the street, this time with a plan what to do next. The weather was pleasant enough – not as freezing as they both had pretended -  and they were in no hurry.  They found a shop where to get the ice cream and returned to the park that wasn’t anything fancy nor special, just a little park with nobody there to disturb them since the autumn was far enough for people to think that days sitting in the park, eating ice-cream and feeding the ducks were over.

This time that was only an advantage to Axel and Roxas. They had the whole place to themselves. All that was missing was blanket to spread on the ground of dead grass. It would’ve been perfect. But Roxas was satisfied with the arrangements they settled with. Roxas crossed his legs and sat down on the bench in the middle of the park and Axel sat down next to him and leaned backwards, and stretched his legs as far as they reached.

The autumn air was warm enough not to be uncomfortable in the light jacket Roxas was wearing even though after first few bites of the ice-cream Roxas shivered a little. That shivering was what made Axel to pull Roxas close enough to share some of the heath radiating through his clothes. Axel didn’t place his hand on Roxas’ shoulder though, it seemed like he wanted to allow Roxas enough space to get used to this closeness. At first Roxas welcomed it, but once he got used to Axel right there just few cloth-layers-away this carefulness felt a bit odd.

They ate the ice-creams making faces at each other, but after they’d eaten neither of them had really said anything. Roxas didn’t this time feel like asking the question ‘what now’. He’d asked it a thousand times today and Axel wouldn’t have an answer this time around either, Roxas was sure about it.

This time he didn’t need to ask the question.

“Do you mind a kiss?”

Roxas blinked, naturally surprised and uncertain how one answered that kind of a question, and murmured something less cohesive at first. “I – Um. Do you really usually ask?”

Axel definitely didn’t saw that one coming. “I? No. I just- Didn’t want to scare you.”

“You are annoying when you doubt yourself all the time,” Roxas sighed and sifted so that he sat on his legs facing Axel. “You want a kiss? Okay, you get a kiss,” he stated surprising himself too with the self-assurance of the tone. He flashed a quick smile and then, without allowing this date to last any awkward second longer, he kissed Axel.

For a being that had had hard time making three decisions tonight, Axel reacted amazingly fast and found his confidence at the same pace. He lifted Roxas to his lap, Roxas’ legs resting now on either side of him, Roxas face now straight in front of his, and grinned wildly when the kiss seized for a moment and both just stared each other. Roxas had barely the time to feel his mouth turning into a smile, when Axel kissed him, kissed him properly, hands holding his head.

As far as kisses went, the kiss wasn’t anything that otherworldly. But it was him, Roxas, kissing, getting kissed by _Axel_ and that was remarkable enough in itself. It really didn’t matter if it lasted some mere seconds and ended with some unceremonious loopy grin from Axel and Roxas nearly losing his balance. It was perfect enough.

“And not at all scary,” Roxas said aloud. Axel couldn’t grin any more widely. He looked... happy. Roxas thought for a moment and came to a conclusion that he too had no real complains of the events of the evening. He was now of the opinion that there just might be a second time. And from the way Axel kept grinning, he didn’t need and wouldn’t in fear of causing an overkill amount of happiness say it aloud.

“To your earlier question,” Axel said quietly, “this was all that was missing.” He smiled then. It was a proper smile, not a grin, and Roxas thought that it was really interesting to see Axel like this. Up close, and so still. Then there was a third kiss, just a peck on the lips, careful, unbelieving.

“Maybe we should think about getting home?” Roxas asked, forehead touching Axel’s forehead. He had really nothing else he thought of to say and it _was_ getting cold anyway.

“Yeah. We’ve been here long enough.”

They got up and left a pair of sticks left from ice-cream bars on the bench behind them as they started walking back the way they had come, departing from it once Axel knew a bus stop nearby. They took the bus and allowed it to take all the detours it wanted through the city. They jumped of when Axel decided and wandered the very quiet suburban streets talking quietly. There were occasional burst of laughter that echoed long, but otherwise the journey was completed without accidents.

Since the clock wasn’t that much past seven Axel asked, begged Roxas to stay for few more hours at his place. “I’ll make food?” Axel suggested and Roxas said yes because even he did grow tired of tormenting Axel once in a while. Roxas ended up helping with making the food and it took far longer than the few more hours that Axel had asked for.

 “...again?” Axel asked, but Roxas lost the beginning of the question for a tired yawn. There was still the lightest of nods on his side and Axel smiled too. “Good night then.” Axel, who had bothered to climb the stairs to accompany Roxas’ all the way to his own door, now turned around and headed back.

Roxas didn’t answer, but smiled sheepishly before opening the door and tiptoeing through the silent apartment. He managed to catch a glimpse of the clock on the wall. It was nearly two in the morning.

**xxx**

Roxas woke to his phone ringing. It took a while before he realised that the sound didn’t belong to his dreams and he barely managed to catch the call before Naminé hang up. But he did it, and his sleepy voice made Naminé forgive him immediately.

“So sorry, Roxas,” she said and giggled a little. “I didn’t think that you’d be still asleep.” Roxas took a glance at the clock. It was few minutes past noon.

“Late night in the Game,” Roxas muttered and stifled a yawn. “So- what’s so urgent?”

“My cousin is in town. Or she’ll be soon. She’s getting here on the train at half past one. I thought that you might want to help me show her around in the town,” she said.

“Sure,” Roxas said as he pushed himself up. He leaned to the wall and collected the covers around himself to keep himself warm. He’d have to get up soon, but not right now. “What’s she like? What would she like to do?”

“You’ll like her,” Naminé said confidently. “I was thinking that we’d fetch her from the station and then take a turn in the town. Just show her some of our hangouts and then grab a coffee.”

It didn’t sound too complicated. “Sounds nice,” Roxas said. He dared to place his feet on the ground now and got up, still wrapped in the covers. When he entered the living room, he saw Sora eating a mountain of cereals while staring at the telly. They nodded briefly when Sora noticed Roxas was holding a phone to his ear. “I guess this is as good excuse to get together as anything. Been a while since we did anything outside school, Nami.”

“Yeah,” Naminé said and laughed. “So, let’s meet fifteen past?”

Roxas agreed and they said their goodbyes. He seated himself next to Sora on the couch. Roxas briefly told what he’d agreed on.

“You’re keeping busy,” Sora said and smiled. “That’s good.”

Roxas gave a look that he tried to ask Sora what he’d meant with _that_ , but Sora just ignored him.  “So, you got anything to do today?” Roxas asked him instead. Almost as an answer to the question, the doorbell rang. Roxas looked at Sora a question on his lips. “You could’ve warned me that you’d invited people here.”

“I didn’t,” Sora protested. He got up – he was fully dressed when Roxas wasn’t. “I’ll get it. It’s probably just someone selling something.”

Roxas hurried to his room and drew on the first clothes that he found in the closet. Naminé had always had a good sense of character when she wasn’t crushing on people. If she thought Roxas would like her cousin, Roxas wouldn’t need to stress about making an impression. It didn’t matter if he dressed as casually as he usually did. He drew on the white hoody with some checker patterns in the details on his way out. “Who was it?” He asked while opening the door.

“Just me,” said Axel. “Where you expecting someone else?” He was standing in the hallway, looking casually Axel, and Roxas heart missed a beat. They hadn’t met since Wednesday, which had been the date of their Date. They’d both been busy the day after and last night had been Friday that they’d both spent in the Game.

“I wasn’t expecting anyone,” Roxas said.

Axel put on an act of being hurt. “That is harsh, Roxas. You forgot about me this quickly?” he said, but he was making a play of it. Probably? Roxas didn’t get what he was trying to say and Axel caught on it. “Last night. In the Game? We agreed on meeting today. And you are late. So I came to fetch you.”

“Oh. Right. We did,” Roxas said as he remembered.

“You’re definitely keeping busy,” Sora said. Roxas hadn’t even realised that Sora was still present. He was standing at the edge of the hallway and the living room and was smiling like there was something funny in the situation.

“Still up for it?” Axel asked.

Roxas stood frozen. He’d agreed to meet with Axel at noon and do something now that they both had a day off. It hadn’t been meant to be anything complicated, not with the situation being what it was already. They hadn’t sorted through _everything_ yet.

“I just got of the call where I promised I’d meet Naminé today,” Roxas muttered and smiled awkwardly. He looked at Sora to get help, but Sora distanced himself from the situation and disappeared into his room with an apologetic smile.

Axel lifted his hands up defensively when Roxas turned to look at him again. “It’s fine,” he said. This time he did seem disappointed for real.

“No! It’s not fine. I’ll just call her and say I’d forgotten about something I had to do,” Roxas said. He knew that look on Axel’s face. That was the unsecure Axel. The Axel that doubted himself and, now as an extension, Roxas. It looked like Axel thought that this was Roxas’ way of slithering away from the deal they made. He was _not_ breaking this thing they had off like this, but it was almost like Axel was ready to believe so. “I’m serious.”

“We hadn’t really agreed on something. Really, go and have fun with her if there’s something you two want to do,” Axel said. He took a step towards the door. “Easier for us to reschedule.”

“Axel, we don’t have to do that,” Roxas said quickly. Axel stopped and didn’t open the door yet. “She wanted me to help her welcome her cousin into town. Maybe all of us could go? That would give us two something to do.”

Roxas couldn’t immediately decipher the look that took over Axel. When he then shrugged and smiled, Roxas felt relieved. “If you think it’ll work,” Axel said.

“You know Naminé. You two seemed to get along easy enough. She said her cousin is nice. I’m sure it’ll work,” Roxas explained. “Besides, it doesn’t take the whole day. We’ll walk around the town and then grab coffee before they go home to Naminé’s folks.”

Axel nodded. His hand was still hovering at the door, but it looked like he didn’t know what was going to happen next.

“We’re meeting fifteen past one at the station,” Roxas said and spied for the clock. There was still plenty of time. Getting to the station took a walk of twenty minutes. “Want to go now or kill time for half an hour first?”

They decided on not waiting. Half an hour was too little for anything. Roxas sent a text to Naminé to tell about the small addition to the plans. She was okay with Axel joining them, and Roxas reassured Axel that it would be fun. Axel seemed a bit grumpy, but Roxas hoped that he’d get over the change of plans soon.

The air at the Station was too loud with announcements and the sound of people rushing past to really let them talk about anything. They found a bench to sit and wait on. Roxas spent time fiddling with his phone, trying to coordinate the meet up.  Axel sat next to him, arm casually resting on top of the bench, behind Roxas’s back. He was just not touching him, and Roxas didn’t feel like fighting about it. It was a gesture casual enough not to make Roxas feel threatened by it.

Finally, Naminé showed up and gave Roxas a hug when she found them. She gave Axel a smile which he replied to with a charming grin. Roxas felt better about this solution. Since Axel got along with Naminé, there should be no problems with the cousin.

“It’s so nice from you to agree to show up, Roxas. And you too, Axel. I know you’ll have something to talk about with Xion. She’s really good at the Game. I heard she was close to getting selected to their add campaign and all. So I thought that I should introduce you two to each other.”

“Really?” Roxas asked. That was intriguing. “You’ve never mentioned.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen Xion,” Naminé explained. “We talk a lot, though. I guess I’ve just forgotten to mention about her playing the Game.”

“Plenty of people do. Play the game, I mean,” Axel said. “You’d be surprised how many people you know who just don’t tell about it.”

“Do you think I should try it?” Naminé asked. “Wait- I think that’s her train. Come, let’s go meet her!” Naminé rushed away, Axel and Roxas got both up to follow her. Axel touched Roxas’ back just briefly as he helped him up. Roxas noticed it, but decided against saying anything. He’d go mad if he’d try to make Axel follow _all_ the rules all the time.

They soon found Naminé hugging a girl that had black hair but who reminded much of Naminé. Her eyes were startlingly blue, and her smile shy.

“This is Xion,” Naminé said once she’d managed to entangle herself free from the hug. She pointed at the girl who waved at Roxas and Axel.  “This is my friend Roxas. The one that I spoke of. And this is Axel.”

“Hi. Nice to meet you,” Xion said and moved her bag higher up on her shoulder.

Naminé started leading them away from the train. “I was thinking we could show you the town a bit since you’ve never been here. If your bag doesn’t weight too much?”

“It’s fine, Nami,” Xion said. “It sounds fun. What is there to see?”

“Well, we didn’t decide on anything with Roxas when we spoke about this earlier. Axel, do you have any suggestions?”

“He’s worthless at coming up with things to do,” Roxas replied for him. Axel let an insulted ‘hey’, but they all laughed.

“There was talk about getting coffee. I know of a place that could be worth paying a visit,” Axel said and gave Roxas a meaningful look. Roxas was about to ask which place Axel meant, but then didn’t say anything because Axel answered his question when he continued. “I’ve always wanted to really spend time at this place. I’ve always been rushed out from there. It’s called the Clock Tower. We can walk there if we want.”

Roxas wanted to disagree, but Xion was too fast in agreeing. “Sounds nice,“ she said. “Show the way.”

Axel did what was asked and took lead. Roxas was about to catch up, but Xion caught his attention before he did it. “Nami wanted that I talk about the Game with you,” she said and smiled.

“You too? She told me just before you arrived that we should talk about it with you,” Roxas said. He found Naminé with his eyes and the girl quickly disappeared to keep Axel company, but there had been a sly smile.

“I think she just wanted to make sure that we’d get along. It does sound like Naminé, don’t you agree?” Xion said. They had fallen a little behind Axel and Naminé, but Roxas was confident that they’d catch up at the lights. “So, let’s make her happy and do what she wanted. Which class do you play?”

“Healer,” Roxas said. “I used to play a red mage, but I change to healer this summer. Best decision I’ve ever made.”

“Really? Why?” Xion wondered. They stopped to wait for the lights to change back to green. Roxas saw that Naminé was explaining something to Axel and Axel seemed politely interested.

“I got into this clan – You might’ve heard of them,” Roxas said and then decided to invite Axel to the conversation. He’d probably want to join and say a word about the Organization. Axel had, however, already started walking with Naminé and they had gotten almost to the other side of the road. “It’s called The Organization.”

Xion did know the name. She seemed impressed. “I never thought they’d be like you,” she said. “They seemed… meaner.”

“Nah. I guess I’m the exception to the rule,” Roxas said and fought the urge to stick is tongue out. “The others are older and scarier. They just needed a healer and happened to be recruited. I was in the right place at the right time. So, what do you do in the game? Nami said you are really good.”

“Of course she did,” Xion laughed. “I play an Illusionist. I don’t even have a clan of my own. I just take part in the weekly events all the time. Made some presence for myself.”

“Illusionist, eh?” Axel said. Roxas had almost walked into him. They had apparently stopped abruptly to wait for them. “It’s not the best class out there. The spells are pretty weak.”

“Axel,” Roxas grumbled. There was no need to be mean.

“So I take it you play as well?” Xion asked.

“Yeah. I’m one of the founding members of the Organization. You might’ve heard us,” Axel said and smirked.

“No you aren’t,” Roxas said. “You were one of the first recruits, but you weren’t there to _start_ it.” It was unlike Axel to lie to impress someone. Roxas wasn’t stupid - that was what Axel was doing now – and he wanted Axel to notice that. However, Roxas and his words were completely ignored.

“Roxas just told me that he’s part of the Organization,” Xion said. She then smiled. “He said the others were scarier than he is. I’m starting to suspect that he was lying.”

Axel turned to look at Roxas and grinned. He then placed an arm around Roxas’ shoulders. “I am the reason he even got in and has stayed. He’s our puppy,” he said proudly. Roxas felt like he was being hold like he was a trophy. “We have a habit of breaking our new recruits. Trust me. Nothing they tell about us is a lie.”

Xion laughed. “Sure,” she said. She then excused herself and hurried over to Naminé. Naminé smiled happily and launched into an explanation of something.

“I told Naminé how to get there,” Axel explained. “I don’t need to keep showing the way.” His arm was still on Roxas’ shoulder. Roxas gave a look to remind him about it. Axel took the hint and removed it, but didn’t do it without protesting a little. “That doesn’t count.”

“It does if I say so,” Roxas said, but he wasn’t mad about it. “She seems nice.”

Axel said nothing, just gave him a look. Then it hit him. “You can’t honestly be _jealous,_ ” he said and couldn’t help the grin that was spreading to his face. “Axel, honestly?”

“What?” Axel yelped loud enough to make both Naminé and Xion look at their direction. Axel waved with his hand to keep the girls away from this. “No,” he whispered to Roxas direction. “Just… one question. Would you mind me less if I was a girl?”

“No-“ Roxas answered quickly and kept his voice low. “It’s not about that. You’re upset about the hand, really?”

“I’m not upset,” Axel said. “I just wondered.”

It wasn’t because Axel was a _guy_. He was Axel. Roxas just didn’t want to need to deal with adding his friends into the mix before he was absolute sure this would work. “Can we talk about this later?” Roxas asked.

Axel grudgingly agreed.  They walked in silence until they arrived to the first stop on their sightseeing tour. It was the park that Naminé and Roxas had tried to conquer with their picnics several times already.  Naminé and Xion were by the pond, crouching down on the ground, trying to feed the ducks. When they saw Roxas looking Xion whispered something to Naminé and she seemed to be taking her time thinking about the answer.

“I got to watching the trailer finally,” Axel said. “I still think you’re wrong.”

“Now you’re all grand and mighty about your opinion,” Roxas said and crossed his arms. “I’m starting to think that you’re just trying to be edgy.”

Axel laughed loud and honestly. “Who’d being grand and mighty about their opinion now? It’s basically the same story as in his ground breaking feature film. Seriously, did you see the heroines speaking to animals? It’s almost the same scene. With all the singing and prancing around you’d think he was making a musical.”

“Are you talking about the Sleeping Beauty?” Xion asked. When she’d gotten so close, Roxas had no idea. “He’s right, you know,” she said to Roxas, but nodded towards Axel. Axel looked way too smug and Roxas couldn’t resist hitting him on the arm.

Axel caught his fist in mid-air and managed to stop the movement before it connected with his arm. “Please ignore, Roxas,” Axel said and kept a hold of the hand. “He wouldn’t recognise good taste even if he was dating it.”

Roxas was left gasping the air. Axel just _hadn’t_. “You are a jerk,” he said and fought his hand free. He flashed a smile at Xion before asking, “Time to get moving?”

“Yeah. I’m getting a bit hungry,” Xion said. She walked to Axel. “I want to hear more about your opinion. I’m used to being the only one being right.”

Roxas walked to Naminé to demonstrate how little he cared to be there when Axel got his ego stroked. “It’s nice to see you two get along with her,” Naminé said. “I guess I shouldn’t have been worried.”

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Roxas said.

They got tired of walking and got the way shorter by traveling with the bus for a few stops. Roxas said nothing when Axel kept the door open for him when they entered. When Axel offered to take care of the orders, Roxas defiantly asked for “Something”. Two could play this game. Naminé got up to help Axel and Roxas and Xion were left at the table, each sitting on their own sides of it. The couches they sat on were nice and cosy, and one disappeared from the sight of the rest of the place once one sat down.

Xion started taking something out of her bag and while she had her head bowed down, she said, “Your boyfriend is kinda nice. Too bad I have to get out of town as quickly as I came. Otherwise I’d kill to go see the movie with him. And you, of course.“

Roxas was sure that he’d heard right, and he hoped that he’d had the excuse of not have done so, because he was out of words. He just kept staring. Had Xion just- She had, hadn’t she? Why’d she think that- But that was not the issue, was it? Because that _was_ the truth, how crazy as it sounded. He’d have to get used to it. He _wanted_ to get used to it.

“You’d be fine with it, right?” She said, now looking at him and not her bag. She must’ve seen how shell-shocked Roxas felt. “Wait- He _is_ your boyfriend, right?” she then felt the need to correct her question.

Roxas felt himself blush furiously. He quickly turned around and reached to the corner of the couch to see where Axel and Naminé where and the answer was still caught in the queue. Xion looked confused – rightly so – when Roxas turned back to her. “Yeah,” he then muttered, half hoping to go unheard.

“You thought it would be a problem?” Xion asked.

“No. I just…” Roxas felt himself fumbling forward, but allowed the words to come. “We’ve hardly been together two days. How did you even notice?”

Xion still seemed to be somewhat confused. “Wasn’t I supposed to do that? Honestly, I thought everybody knew before I asked Nami about it and she just said it was possible because you hadn’t had time to talk about it yet. He can’t get his eyes of you for one, and frankly, you’re on each other’s skin all the time.” She then smiled a very Naminé-like smile. Reassuring and calming. Roxas felt himself relax a bit.

“It’s been kind of a secret,” Roxas admitted. “I wanted to get used to it before getting everyone in on it.”

“Aww, come on, Roxas,” Xion laughed now, but she wasn’t mocking him. It was almost like she was delighted to have managed the make him admit what was weighing him. “Why would you even want to get used to it? It’s the part where you keep blushing and you get the butterflies and when everything is crazy that’s _fun_. Won’t trying to hide it from everyone mean that you need to give up that? Stifle the flame? I mean, disregard everything I said if there’s someone who’d react badly. I know there are still those around. I really wish you don’t need to deal with something like that.”

“No, it’s not that people would- You might be right,” Roxas said quietly. He wasn’t afraid that someone would react badly. That wasn’t it. What he wanted was his own time and place to sort this trough. Telling Sora would mean trying to stop him from throwing a wedding for them. He wasn’t ready for that. Then again – He had just admitted to Xion that they were dating. He hadn’t had to do it. The likelihood that they’d met Xion again was not high if he didn’t want to meet her so he could’ve easily just denied it. But he hadn’t wanted to do that.

What did he feel for Axel? He’d never thought calling it love because once they’d started talking, they’d been friends and he hadn’t needed to think about feelings. He’d liked Axel, liked a great deal. When Axel had forced them to rebalance their relationship Roxas had been willing to go along. Now there was a great deal more touching, even kisses. He didn’t mind. It was nice to have Axel pay him so much attention. What did you call the feelings that he had? When they were doing the things that they’d always done, Axel was just Axel and there was no new kind of shimmer to him. When Axel kissed him and when Axel went to great lengths to ‘accidentally’ touch him, Roxas did feel this strange kind of joy of doing something that he hadn’t expected. He looked forward to meeting Axel, even now, he did. But what did you call that?

“Hey, earth to blond kid. Are you there?” Axel asked and Roxas snapped his head up. Axel was trying to get him take stuff away from the tray so that Axel could safely place it on the table. Roxas did so, and then looked around to see Xion smiling at him.

Naminé took her seat next to Xion and Axel sat down next to Roxas. Out of a new habit, Axel placed his arm over Roxas’ shoulders before quickly correcting his mistake and taking his hand back.

“It’s fine,” Roxas said. He was not going to say aloud that he was talking about the hand. He just gave the tiniest of nods towards it and hoped that Axel got the hint. Axel was a bit too eager to comply and drew Roxas to himself.

Xion turned to Naminé and said simply, “The answer is yes.”

Naminé giggled as she handed something to Xion, who placed it in her bag that she’d had ready and open. Had they betted on this? Roxas felt himself blush even more and once Naminé turned to look at him, smiling her pretty, reassuring smile, he wanted to hide. “That makes me happy,” Naminé said. “Although, I wish you’d dared to tell me before I get to say ‘I knew it’. I had to bet against it from the principle, you know. I trusted you’d tell me everything important.”

“Nami, I haven’t even had the time to tell you! This thing,” Roxas said and ended up flailing in the air, “just happened. Even Sora doesn’t know.” Both she and Xion smiled like he’d said something cute and as he turned to Axel to get support he could see Axel was stupidly grinning and offering no help.


	19. Crash down, burn up and start again

It was the lack of the certain boundaries that had changed, what tiny need there had been to personal space before was slowly melting away. Axel had noted this and come to the conclusion that he liked it. He knew that it was he who abused this relationship a lot more – just appearing behind Roxas’ door without a good excuse every other day was his privilege – but Roxas hadn’t complained yet.  Roxas smiled often, smiled with a boyish grin just like now, looking at Axel sprawled on the couch like this had always been his place. After muttering something about getting snack-like offerings to the creature that had invaded the living room, Roxas disappeared from the room.

Axel lay there listening to the sound of Roxas going through the cabins and cupboards, knowing when the boy found something edible from the enthusiastic shout and guessed he’d started preparing it when the clattering of plates could be heard. It was a very homey noise, and Axel liked it much more he cared to admit. He allowed a happy, drowsy smile spread on his face.

It took Roxas a while to make whatever he was making and that left Axel with time to inspect the room finding details that must have been on the earlier visits too but that he hadn’t had the time to notice before. Axel had just noticed that from where he lay there was a brilliant view to the outdoor when the said door started opening. He would’ve guessed that the newcomer was Sora even without the gleeful greeting reserved for Roxas. Sora kicked his shoes off and almost managed to run through the room before noticing Axel.

“Axel!” Sora stated the obvious and quickly moved over to the armchair Roxas had wanted for himself. The face the boy made was unreservedly happy, but it was clear that Axel’s presence woke still some questions. Sora smiled broadly before asking any though. “What are you doing here, Axel?”

Axel felt a mischievous grin spreading on his face. “Funny thing _you_ asked. I should be the one asking. Roxas and I were really counting on that there wouldn’t be any disturbance of our, _you know_ , quality time together. We had some plans for this afternoon we could share _all alone_ ,” Axel started explaining and watched with amusement as the bewilderment on Sora’s face grew clearer and clearer.

“What?” the boy was forced to ask and Axel wasn’t going to let an opportunity like this pass.

“How obvious do I have to be here?” Axel asked pretending frustrated. “You can’t be that innocent, Sora. What would you and Kairi do if you had a whole flat to yourselves?” Sora, still not able to draw the lines Axel wanted him to, tilted his head. “No, don’t say anything. I don’t want to know,” Axel shook his head quickly.

“Well, we- I don’t know. Kairi would proba-“

“Hey! I said don’t! Please. This will sound harsh and blunt, but you are old enough to understand. I had this plan of getting Roxas to-“ Axel left the sentence unfinished and made sure he sounded disappointed, even though the act really wasn’t all that convincing anymore. He was too amused by the look Sora was now making. “Well, had in mind before you came and ruined my chances,” he finished and flashed a charming grin.

Sora stared at him, somewhat stunned by the words. “You? What?” Sora could almost handle forming the one question. Luckily for him, Axel needed no encouraging and happily continued on the story.

“Oh yes. Now you wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t interfered,” Axel smiled wickedly and enjoyed every second it took for the face of bewilderment to change into curious one. “He’s a pretty one, you must’ve noticed that. And kind of am sure he likes me, but that is our secret – Oh, hi Roxas. What does that death-glare mean? Is it for me?” Axel smiled innocently and looked at Roxas who had been standing there behind Sora’s seat for some time now. The look on his face was priceless and, simply put, horrified.

“Axel, what are you doing?” Roxas asked and the tone wasn’t amused. Not at all.

“Well, I thought it was obvious. Sora came unexpected and I tried messing up his head. But you kind of blew our cover since there’s no way I’ll make that cousin of yours believe that horrified look is only because my poor taste of humour,” Axel told a grin on his face and to his real surprise Roxas didn’t start demanding him to stop, he just stood there still and silent. Axel tried to look innocent.

Sora looked at Roxas and Roxas shot another glare at Axel direction before smiling reassuring at his cousin. “Axel’s a jerk,” was all that Roxas had time to say before Axel cut in, again.

“That might hurt my feeling, you know,” Axel pointed out. “I’m only trying to be polite by keeping Sora entertained. Why do I deserve this loathing?”

“Oh, shut up. Really,” Roxas said and Axel didn’t doubt that the words were meant to be taken seriously.

“Roxas,” Sora opened his mouth and made Roxas spin around faster than Axel had expected.

“Jumpy much? Hey, I was only joking. Don’t get all worked up, okay?” Axel tried to help the situation, but you could’ve cut through the nervousness with a knife even after his help. Roxas shot another glare to Axel’s direction, but didn’t answer. It was Sora who held his attention.

“Are you two…?” Sora asked carefully, clearly serious. ”I’m not stupid.” He looked at Roxas, stared silently waiting for the answer that Roxas was unable to tell.

Axel saw this as his moment to interfere once again. “This is my fault. Do you want me to do the talking out of this?” he asked. This time Roxas turned his head and looked at him. He looked so nervous that Axel felt a sorry. This joke had gotten out of hand, which well, wouldn’t be the first time. Axel sat up properly and patted the couch next to himself. This was completely his fault, and judging from Roxas reaction, he’d  be the one to do all the talking.

“You say it. And don’t try to be funny about it,” Roxas said quietly and quickly, more like whispered it, as he sat down. The tone was strict and it was very clear these were the conditions and there was no slipping from them. But Axel knew Sora, and he knew Roxas, and he knew that whatever he did, he was unlikely to end in trouble.

Axel couldn’t help a grin. With every passing day Roxas was surer of this, and that felt good. Okay, sure, now he was nervous, but this was Sora. This was close family that mattered.  Axel and threw one arm around Roxas’ shoulders in a protective hug. Sora looked at them curiously. “So, the joke was that I wasn’t joking. I kind of think Roxas likes me. And we’re dating as officially as you want to interpret it,” Axel told calmly and turned then to look at Roxas, but the boy couldn’t turn his attention away from Sora. Roxas had almost forgotten how to breathe and waited for the reaction the words would cause without blinking.

Sora didn’t start yelling or making faces, which had to be a good sign, Axel was pretty sure about that. The boy was first silent for a short while, then let the smile spread and suddenly he had jumped up to his feet. “I’m happy for you,” he said. “We need to celebrate! You don’t want me to call Kairi or Riku, I understand... But we can have some ice-cream if there is something left in the fridge. Or...”

“Sora, calm down!” Roxas yelped but was able to laugh at the sadness that took over the over-joyous Sora. Roxas relaxed, Axel could feel the tension in the muscles disappearing. “We have something left somewhere, but it’s not important,” Roxas continued. “Really- I was just making food-“

“NO!” Sora shook his head fiercely. “You stay there! I’ll take care of everything. I don’t want to disturb your time together.” And that was when Axel started laughing. Sora smiled quickly and disappeared to the kitchen before Roxas could protest more. Roxas sighed and leaned to Axel who really couldn’t stop chuckling.

“Oh, shut up already,” Roxas muttered, but had an opponent who wouldn’t be beaten with those mere words now. “I knew this would happen. That’s why I was waiting for a moment when he had less energy.”

Axel was pleased with the turns of the events, even with Roxas grumbling. They were one step steadier now. He had managed to break more constricting rules of their agreement, but Roxas seemed to be fine with that. “Sorry,” Axel whispered just in case.

Roxas let a frustrated sigh that could only be seen as purring, and then leaned onto Axel, making him into a pillow. Axel kinda liked that, but it was nothing he would tell aloud. It was way too many levels of sappy.

**xxx**

For the first time in a long, long time Axel felt almost nonchalant as he clicked the log-in-square in the middle of the screen. He had done this thousands of times. Grinning, smiling, _awaiting_ the loading animation to end. This time... he just waited. He tried to explain himself that he just wasn’t in the mood right now, been interested in something altogether lately, something with five letters and a nice smile. A short vacation of the Game would bring the joy back again, it shouldn’t be more complicated than that. Really.

Axel waited the updates to load. A sign that he hadn’t been visiting the Game daily lately. He watched the files getting downloaded and leaned to his hands, not even pretending that this long loading time was unexpected or undeserved. It was he who’d skipped a gaming session of two lately after feeling like there was something better to do.

He felt... _uneasy_ among his friends. It drained his anticipation for the evening to just think about all the bantering that had _used to_ be fun.

The Game was still alive and breathing, but Axel didn’t really know if he wasn’t fit enough to run alongside its development. He knew the new lands and continents, the hidden temples and creation myths. But he couldn’t remember the name on the new town that had arisen from the earth little over week ago.  He didn’t care about the new places. What he still cared for was mostly nostalgia, knowledge of the fact he’d been there from the beginning.

Was it worth staying to the end?

There had been many dreams Axel had hoped this Game would fulfil. So many dreams to hold on to. The world made of small particles, bits of imaginary, bits of electricity, bits of dreams, yeah, he had hoped this virtual world would be just as ground-breaking as it had promised, as it had promised almost five years ago. It hadn’t exactly broken any of those promises, but Axel was slowly feeling like it might be a time to let go; he wouldn’t be there to see _his_ dreams to be fulfilled.

 Or maybe he’d grown up and found dreams outside the Game? Axel couldn’t help a wry laugh that came with the thought. Try explaining that to any of his friends. They’d be worried he’d accidentally swallowed a book of poems and couldn’t help quoting them now.

Axel didn’t even realise he’d completely lost interest in the loading animation before the familiar sounds were suddenly there and the screen was bright blue with the morning light. It wasn’t an unpleasant morning, cold shades of yellow and blue and some mist, but it wasn’t anything special either. It was just a morning and the graphics were getting outdated.

The welcome Axel got from his friends too was something he’d been used to, few nods, few short messages typed, muttered, but there was something wrong when Axel let his sight wander over the familiar avatars. There were just tiny little changes, changes that he didn’t like. Saïx was late. He was never late. And only Roxas was really trying to start a conversation with him, being shyly and cautious, forcing a grin on Axel’s face. Xemnas didn’t gather the group together and lay out tonight’s plan with the usual efficiency, hell, Saïx wasn’t the only one missing.

Axel found himself dismissing Roxas attempts to get him take a part of the idle chitchatting. Axel nodded when there was a question, laughed when it was expected, but was mostly happy with just listening to the mindless babbling and trying to make sense of what was out of place. Saïx, Demyx and Zexion were all still missing after ten minutes had gone past and that really was worrisome. They were a relaxed organization, but the few rules were there to be obeyed: One didn’t come this much late without warning others.

“Something on your mind?” Roxas pried, spiced with some amusement, curiosity being the only ulterior motive as far as Axel could tell.

Apparently Axel’s careful attempts to keep himself on the sidelines for the evening weren’t as sly as he hoped, and showed him that he was getting sloppy. It wasn’t a habit of his to be transparent. “Nah, just tired. Ran out of coffee last night,” Axel lied and knew he wasn’t caught at least because of the tone of his voice.

“Sleeping once in a while does miracles,” Roxas pointed out.

“Might be something worth testing,” Axel agreed, and made a gesture to point the direction of the larger part of the group. Saïx had finally arrived and the Clan was assembling.  Roxas made his avatar nod his head and moved a few steps closer to their leader to show an attempt to belong with the main party. Axel did the same.

Xemnas did have a plan for the night. Hunting on the large plains of the Calm Lands, named very misleadingly, and collecting some large bounty on some poor creature’s head. Axel didn’t like the description Xemnas gave, but wasn’t the only one and therefore could silently listen when other lashed at the plan.

“Big, jellyish worm that likes to eat people?” Demyx repeated and laughed. “Not that I’d be even near the front line, but isn’t that kind of a suicide mission even for us? If one get’s eaten, I’d imagine it means instant doom. The rules with getting _eaten_ are a bit... un-enjoyable.” There was no need to more specific describing of what happened after one had been swallowed, eaten, digested, destroyed, forced to begin again with a new character.

“It is a challenge,” Xemnas admitted. “A challenge we are ready to take. The bounty and the trophy, the fame that comes with this ugly beast is what we deserve. The Game wants to demonstrate its power. And we _want_ to show it that this beast isn’t enough to scare us off.”

“Um, what about the part with getting swallowed?” Asked Lexaeus, obviously worried about saving his own hide. Swinging a large hammer didn’t work too well from distance. All the other that preferred to stay close to their targets joined the protest, and silenced once Xemnas spoke again.

“We don’t need you tonight to fight.”

“And what do you expect them to do then?” Axel asked. He would be nowhere near the massive thing that wanted to eat them, and could be as carefree as he wanted to.

“You don’t plan to keep us just watching, do you?” Saïx pointed the words at Xemnas. “Even if Axel’s happy with plan, I’m definitely not.”

“Never said anything about agreeing,” Axel muttered clearly enough to be heard by everyone.

“Those who have no ability to fight afar, there are two options. Either you show skill and take the risk to move close to beast or you stay to protect those who can make real damage without getting eaten,” Xemnas stated, looked through his disagreeing crowd who did not say anything aloud expect for a few grumbled swears. The words were a challenge and an insult, and there really was no proper way to response to the leader’s orders. Orders were given and they would leave the camp right away.

Roxas seemed nervous about tonight and Axel allowed him to vent while they walked slowly towards their doom. Saïx was unusually annoyed by Xemnas decisions and Axel saw him walk alone for a while, then share his anger with Xigbar before joining Axel’s, Xaldins’ and Roxas’ small group. Roxas pretty much fell quiet like he’d hit a wall when Saïx took his place next to Axel.

“I don’t get him,” Saïx said and there was no need for giving a name. “I won’t just sit there next to you in the bushes and wait that you finish it off.”

“There’s some logic to his decisions,” Xaldin stood up to defend their leader, but wasn’t very passionate about it. Axel and Roxas were the only ones of this group that could really do some damage tonight. Saïx might have a change, but Axel had some doubts if he’d risk getting eaten.

“And care to tell what?” Saïx lashed and there was a loud kweh from the bird he was riding on as he kicked some speed into it. “We aren’t meant for hunts like these. We should do something epic. Something worth the legends we are. Or do you disagree?”

“Not really,” Axel stated, but had to type a private message to Roxas to vent a little more. ‘ _This is only going to get worse’_ he wrote.

“You haven’t been here to see the slow degradation,” Saix complained and indicated the words directly at Axel. Xaldin, that lucky bastard, used this as his cue to exit. Axel could only wish he’d have the change to do the same, but they were basically friends with Saïx and it was Axel duty to listen to the ranting. Well, to look like he listened.

Roxas was unsure how he should act now, something that got to Axel knowledge with a message the boy sent him. ‘ _Should I disappear too?_ ’ the pop-up-window asked.

‘ _Nah. I’ll handle Saïx_ ,’ answered Axel. He was here to have fun, not to listen old friends complain about the crappy state of their leadership and the world and the universe.

“Saïx, that’s enough,” Axel stated out loud, right in the middle of a sentence that was such a masterpiece in the craft of complaining. Saïx was surprised and muted at once. “Sorry, but you need to accept this. We’re going to kill the worm and that’s it.”

“Why wouldn’t we be killing it? We’re going to that direction,” Saïx said and his character pointed to the vanguard of the Clan travelling with a bit quicker pace. They had gotten quit much ahead of them already. “That’s Calm Land that way, if you’ve forgotten.”

“I haven’t,” Axel said and didn’t smother his words. Saïx was annoying at the moment and Axel wasn’t feeling like taking it today. “Why won’t you go catch the others and let us mages plan what to do to the worm before it eats you?” Axel suggested and it was more than a request.

“What?” asked Saïx.

“Get going,” confirmed Axel. The bird let a new kwehing sound and Saïx danced first only a few steps away, turned to look back and after Axel’s character shook her head, Saïx was gone in a flash of yellow feathers.

Roxas had been silent, wisely, for the duration of that conversation, but once Saïx was gone, he had a lot to say. “Was that wise?”

“What can he do to me?”

“He’s your friend.”

“And he was annoying.”

“Well, he had a point,” Roxas said carefully.

“Xemnas does what he does. He might make decisions I don’t fully get. Today? I don’t care enough.”

“Don’t lash it all on Saïx,” Roxas advised, but Axel only laughed.

“Roxas, I’ve known him a bit longer than you have. He’ll come around.”

xxx

The Worm wasn’t hard to locate. It slept on a plain adjacent to the largest fields of the Calm Lands. It looked harmless enough at first. But that feeling changed once it go up from the ground and started drooling.

“Healing! I need healing now!” yelled Saïx who had gotten bitten by the creature that was surprisingly quick in its movements. Axel didn’t have the time to turn and look if Roxas managed to get close enough to help their knight. Axel was busy casting all he could come up with on the big slimy thingy that crawled closer to the mages every moment. The magic-casters had formed a smaller group that had tried hiding behind some large boulders, but it was obvious now that they would be the next ones in the monster belly if something wasn’t done quickly.

“Shit,” Axel cursed as he scrolled down the menu with his spells. He was too low on MP to cast anything effective. “Does anyone have _anything_ at all to stop that thing?”

Demyx had been dancing his supportive magic on them the whole time, but stopped now. “We have to run! That thing is unstoppable,” he stated and there were no protests.

“The only question then,” Axel sighed, but never finished the sentence. He would’ve wanted to ask about the direction of their escape, they really had it better if they’d stay together, but the monster had gotten too close and nobody thought anything at all before running. There hadn’t been any decision about the direction – it was everybody for themselves now. The worm was close enough to have killed them with its smell if there would have been something like that in the Game. Sure, soon they’d invent a way to produce odours too, but Axel couldn’t have been happier to know that the day wasn’t here yet.

While Axel was running away he realised Roxas was running with him. He had no time to see what the other were doing, not at least before he was safely and soundly tucked within the forest, away from the monster’s territory. Axel was positive it wouldn’t follow them there.

“What are we going to do?” Roxas asked and didn’t pant even though they had been running fast and a considerable distance. That’s virtual reality to you.

“I- I don’t know,” Axel said and shook his head. He was going through all the menus he possibly could – all items, spells, everything. “You don’t happen to have any ethers to help my MP?”

Roxas looked through his wares. “I have some, but I don’t think – I need them to rescue people.”

“Shit, Roxas. If somebody doesn’t kill that thing, there’s no way you are alive to help anyone. Give me something to help get my MPs back. I’m useless without,” Axel explained and was convincing enough; Roxas threw an ether towards his direction. It did help a little, but that was it. Axel had now enough energy to blast once or twice, but it might not be enough.

“How much damage do you think we’ve managed to make?” Axel asked.

Roxas shook his head unknowingly. “Does it really matter?”

“No. You’re right. It does not,” Axel sighed. He peeked through the shrubs between him and the plains to see how miserable the situation was. The sight in front of him was an uncomforting one. Saïx, Xemnas and Demyx were together with Larxene and Marluxia standing quite close to Axel’s and Roxas hiding place, just staring at the worm. The worm had turned its attention to the larger part of the clan, a miserable looking mess of a group with everyone else except – “Where’s Vexen? He has our item-supplies!”

Roxas too scanned the sight in front of him and couldn’t see the man either.  “I don’t see him. I- He’s been eaten?”

“The clans gonna die if that thing eats any more of us,” Axel stated and was ready to act. “Roxas, stay close to me and cast every single spell that might help me. Okay? Don’t try to spare items or MPs or anything.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to kill that thing, of course.”

“How?” asked Roxas, but Axel never answered. He was too absorbed in his plan.

“So, um. Nice knowing you and all that?” Axel muttered in passing and didn’t stay still long enough to hear the answer. He left their hiding place and started running towards the beast, a spell in mind.

Axel realised Roxas was following his plan when a sudden glow of haste surrounded him. He didn’t have time to send a thankful note or look around to see if Roxas was close enough to hear if he muttered it aloud – Axel whole concentration was in the combination of spells he prepared.

This was almost elementary. A giant ball of dark light, labelled demi, to draw a quarter of the things health away. A blast of status ailments, skill named bad breath. Not all of the nuisances were effective, but enough many of them to slow the beast down. Axel prepared the last spell of the combination, an inferno of fire, to finish the worm of and only after he’d found the spell down the menu, he saw that he didn’t have enough power to cast it. The worm turned around and sighted its new prey and suddenly it was Axel in shitload of trouble.

What happened then was easy to describe. Axel turned around, tried to running away and failed. Axel could only sit in front of his computer and follow how she, Axel’s life in the Game, got lifted by the legs and thrown through the air, down to the worm’s belly. Then the screen turned black.

Axel got up and walked to the fridge, took something to munch with him and sat down in front of the computer once again. He watched the black screen that had changed in only one way – now there was a counter with red numbers running slowly downwards. Axel knew what those numbers meant; he had read the manual. That was the counter running down from twenty _minutes_ that Axel had no access to the Game. She was officially stone dead.

Axel was not one to scream aloud, but he knew when one or two curses were needed. This was a time for several. Calmed down when the counter had gotten down to fifteen minutes, Axel got up and decided to pay a visit upstairs. Roxas was still hooked up to the Game and Axel could follow through that window what the hell was going on in the world. Some part – a large part - of Axel wished that everybody else was dead too. He wished that Xemnas had gotten his head ripped off and that Saïx and his stupid bird were silent for a change.

Axel rang the doorbell and to no surprise, it was Sora who opened the door.

“Hi,” Axel greeted and the boy smiled too widely.

“What are you doing here?” Sora asked. Axel realised that Sora could see the connection between Roxas playing the Game and Axel playing the Game and the problem with Roxas playing the Game and Axel standing at their door.

“I might explain later. Came to see Roxas.” Sora didn’t make him fill in long enquiries and stepped aside immediately. He returned to staring at the telly trusting that Axel knew the way himself – which he did.

Axel opened the door to Roxas’ room, but the blond didn’t turn to look at the intruder. Axel saw how the boy quickly clicked the microphone on the headset off before asking, “Who was it?”

“Just me,” Axel said and smiled to the surprise on Roxas’ face when the boy turned around hastily.

“Axel! You died!” Roxas said with one of the comical face expression Axel had encountered in a long while. First there was surprise that turned into delight which was followed by shocked sadness about the fact that Axel was dead.

“I did,” Axel stated matter of factly, not allowing either of them to dwell on it.

Roxas seemed to feel a bit guilty though and continued, “There was nothing I could do.”

“I know. What’s the situation now?”

Roxas turned to look at the screen. “We’ve got some more bodies, but the worm’s dying.”

Roxas recapped what had happened in the ten minutes or so Axel had been out of the game while Axel wrapped his arms around Roxas. Axel’ avatar had gotten eaten, but the rest of the group had gotten their courage back and attacked. Zexion had been unfortunate enough to have ended up eaten; the same with Lexaueus. Marluxia had been the last one to have died before the finishing blow had been dealt.

It was a miserable sight. Five of the clan’s thirteen had lost their lives and that meant the clans power had severely been damaged. Axel watched over Roxas’ shoulder how Xemnas ordered them to gather next to the body that was disappearing quickly – the Game didn’t like the idea of rotting corpses – and started giving orders like nothing had happened.

“For the next half an hour we have to stay here,” Xemnas told loud. “We have to watch out for other hunters that might try to beat the monster we’ve brought down already.”

“You have the mic still dead?” Axel asked Roxas hushed and once the boy nodded he continued. “That- I don’t have a word! What is he thinking?” Axel cursed at Xemnas who was now complementing them on a job well done.

“How’s the clan going to survive?” asked Roxas Axel who only shook his head.

“I have no fucking idea,” Axel said. He apologized then for intruding and returned back home since his twenty minutes ban was over. He sat down in front of the computer that now had a black screen with a box with two alternatives: ‘begin –Destiny Islands’ and ‘continue – place of your death’.

Axel chose the latter. A white window opened with multiple alternatives to creating a character. In the corner there was a box that allowed you to take all the attributes and choices made when last visited the page. Axel clicked that one and appeared with the charming lady-mage he’d been controlling for years onto the dreadful plaice he’d left the Game. This time though Axel had none of the shiny stuff he’d been collecting through his carrier. And in the corner where minor information like levels stood, the numbers were quite different.  Instead of the three-digit-level there had been before stood a single number - one.

“Whose stroke of genius this whole plan was?” Axel asked not so calmly when he got close enough his comrades. Vexen had been resurrected too, but the rest of the dead were still missing.

“I couldn’t hear you complaining earlier,” Saïx pointed out and Axel didn’t appreciate the irony of his own actions earlier.

“Without your cowardice there wouldn’t be any bodies at all,” Axel snarled. “I at least did something.”

“How noble of you,” Saïx said, but wasn’t ready laughing at Axel’s misfortune as he continued, “but what you did was pretty much useless. I wasn’t a coward, I saw when to wait. The situation was almost taken care of anyway.”

“Keep on dreaming, Saïx,” Axel laughed and he could feel the anger piling up. He wasn’t angry at Saïx, not really; it was all about Xemnas’ idiotic plan and everybody acting selfish. “Xemnas, I have no idea what you though- I mean, what the fuck was wrong with the way we used to play? As a group, functioning as a group, winning as a group?”

“Axel,” Xemnas began, took an obligatory pause to gather the audience’s attention, ”I appreciate your opinion, but I can only see a succeeded mission. We won the challenge the Game gave us.”

“And we have five dead people!”

“Calm down, Axel,” Saïx said in a tone Axel didn’t especially like. It was amused.

“Just ‘cause you didn’t die won’t give you any excuse to laugh.”

“Get over it. You just have to be more careful and skilled in this next life you’re given,” Saïx stated and Axel could’ve bathed in the amount of enjoyment that Saix let through the voice. He was happy to see Axel gotten beaten up and badly.

“What if I’ve had enough?” Axel asked.

Nobody said anything. It was almost like it had been a question that couldn’t be asked. One that couldn’t be answered either. This didn’t matter to Axel. Once he realised that nobody was going to say anything, he saw that there really was no words left to say.

Axel did the most unceremonious thing and clicked on the menu in the far left corner. ‘Are you sure’ asked a pop-up-window. Axel answered yes.

**xXx**

Roxas was panting already and he really needed a moments rest. He might have gotten a bit out of shape lately, but his coach wasn’t making today easy either. Doing five push-ups for each hit Hayner managed to score was an effective way to make Roxas try his best, that’s for sure, but because the same applied to Hayner too, both had several push-ups to do. Roxas had given up the count after Hayner taped his side for the tenth time.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Diz said loud over the noise in the hall. “Do your push-ups and go get something to drink.”

Some younger kids were screaming out of joy at every hit they managed to land on their opponent, but Roxas and his company were a lot quieter. Hayner just panted heavily between the gulps of water he poured into his mouth. Fuu and Vivi, the other two that trained with Hayner and Roxas, looked very much as exhausted as Roxas felt at the moment. Seifer was here once in a while too but not today. He practiced more on his own time and with his own coach. He was the hope of the future, the gem of the club.

“I wish Diz could come up with something different for once. Wanna bet that the next thing he makes us do is to race each other around the running track?” Hayner said silent enough not to allow Diz hear the words. Their coach stood quite near, looking at the list with the stats telling about everyone’s participation in the training. Roxas knew that those lists didn’t have a good word for him.

Hayner managed to empty his bottle and smiled apologising before left to refill it. Roxas took small sips of his water, but was content without drinking it all now. Too much water and he’d be useless for the rest of the day.

“Hey, Roxas,” Diz called him, clearly noticing that for once Roxas was alone for a moment. “What’s with the repeated absences?” he asked. “You know that to succeed you have to commit yourself to the training. But I see no commitment here,” Diz added and tapped the papers in the binder.

“I -,” Roxas began, took a deep breath to win some time and to come up with some excuse. He had not thought about what to tell to Diz; Hayner had been the main worry all this time that Roxas had skipped coming to the sports hall, decided to spend time with the Game or more often lately, with Axel. Hayner had been satisfied, but not convinced, with a short ‘been busy, had to watch after Sora, you know the deal’, but Diz wouldn’t swallow even the first syllables of that.

“I’ve thought of leaving,” Roxas said instead. “After the autumn-tournament. I’ve had enough of competing.” Sure, this was nothing at all like what Roxas had promised to Hayner, but it was true now that Roxas had said it aloud. He had found so much more interesting stuff to do with his life and struggle was what had to go. Sure, he’d stay long enough to keep his promise of winning Seifer – or trying his best at it – but after that, Hayner would have to realize he could continue without Roxas.

Diz looked at him disbelieving, as if Roxas had been joking. “That’s wasting of your talent, Roxas,” he said simply.

“I’m just too busy to continue,” Roxas said. Axel would be proud of him once he’d hear what Roxas had done. “With all the school and stuff. I- I guess I’ve moved on,” Roxas continued, but quieted quickly when he realized how unsure all of these words made him sound.

Diz just shrugged, not interested in a boy that was giving up. “It’s your decision,” Diz said and turned away, scribbling something on the papers with him. Roxas shrugged too to show his disinterest in the coach’s disapproval. Roxas dropped his bottle next to his stuff and sat down on the bench next to them waiting Hayner to get back. Hayner threw himself down on the bench next to Roxas and with a tiny nod pointed towards Diz.

“What did he have to say?”

Roxas told what the man had been complaining about, but didn’t tell his excuse to Hayner. He’d tell it once the time came. It would be a lot easier not to bring the subject up beforehand.

“He won’t have to continue complaining, will he?” Hayner said and smiled, he didn’t expect Roxas to be absent anymore. If Hayner only knew – well, why would he know anything about Roxas’ life without Roxas himself telling it to him? There was no way Sora would blurt anything about Axel and how he had been the reason of Roxas’ disappearances.

“Worry not,” Roxas said. “I’ll quit playing the Game soon. The only reason for me to stay there left yesterday,” Roxas told because he knew that the information would cheer Hayner up. This too was a decision that Roxas hadn’t told about to anyone. Roxas would tell Axel about leaving the Game soon enough. They hadn’t really had time to talk about Axel leaving yet so Roxas had no idea how Axel would react to Roxas going too. But this wasn’t the place, time or company to wonder that!

Diz called them back from the pause and, as Hayner had predicted, ordered them to start running.

“What did I say?”

**xxx**

It was truly no fun without Axel. It just didn’t feel the same even though barely nothing had changed after Axel had done his disappearing trick. Xemnas had had his speech about traitors and there had been some taunting, lifeless jokes, but really nothing that ground-breaking. Something was missing and they all pretended, Roxas included, that nothing had to happen.

Roxas had been reluctant to continue at first, not that the feeling had gone completely away now, since these people he played with were and weren’t his friends. He’d been part of this group for months, called them his friends and still this bizarre feeling of being an outsider kept nagging him.  He hadn’t had any idea how much of an impact just Axel had had on his pixelated life. He wasn’t denying that Axel had made a real mess of his life, but it hadn’t happened in the Game.  They had almost never played together, they were seldom partners when Xemnas divided the jobs. Roxas was a healer and he couldn’t stay still or follow one player around and Axel had been a strange mixture of all skills, everywhere, with everyone.

Roxas wasn’t denying that he missed the mage who had never been still or silent when they travelled the plains of their own little fantasy realm. Axel decision to leave had been abrupt and unexpected, but not completely unreasonable.

“So, what’s going to happen today?” Roxas asked Demyx who had happened to stand closest to Roxas’ avatar when he appeared into the familiar forest. A small camping fire was all that was missing from the most clichéd scenery from your average knight-tale. Though none of them would’ve qualified as the knight or the damsel in distress.

Demyx shrugged. “Probably nothing interesting.” Not sounding very interested to continue that conversation, Roxas just agreed and leaned back in his chair, not bothering to pay any more attention than needed. People appeared, few words were exchanged, but Roxas wasn’t absorbed back to the Game. He could hear the hum of the computer and some word from whatever Sora was watching on the TV. His thoughts kept wandering and it was again Axel he ended up thinking of. He hadn’t spoken to him about quitting the Game – he refused to answer to his phone and Roxas wasn’t sure if he was home. He’d tried only once and then decided to act less pathetic and wait till he wanted to talk to him.

Xemnas had appeared when Roxas wasn’t looking and was already telling about the plans for the day. Wandering around pointlessly sounded so boring. Roxas looked at the clock and yawned. It was only getting seven o’clock. 

He knew that someday it would be inevitable. He might just stop delaying it now and just tell them he was getting tired.

Or be a coward and just go.

Maybe they wouldn’t care.

With on sharp movement of the mouse, one, two, three clicks and he was out. He stood up, turned the computer off and joined Sora on the couch. Sora looked at him, never asked a question. It didn’t feel as grand as it should’ve.

“The whales wander along this route yearly...” kept the host of the nature-something explaining even though Roxas didn’t care.

Would Axel laugh at him?


	20. Those Days are Over

Roxas had nothing to do today. It was a luxurious thing that had allowed him to do nothing productive during the long, lazy morning, and he planned on not getting anything during the rest of the day. He might’ve preferred to sleep late, maybe even through most of the day for a change, but Sora wasn’t one who understood waking after noon. He really didn’t get it. It was Sunday and tomorrow would be as tiring as every Monday could be and Sora insisted on getting people over. Early.

“Hi, Kairi,” Roxas greeted her as she sat down onto the other end of the sofa.  He’d been against Sora inviting her over, but wasn’t asshole enough to make her hear about it. Sora flashed his famous smile and skipped to the kitchen to get something easy for them to eat before they started the long negotiations about what to do next. Roxas would be voting for them to hide in Sora’s room, but knew that both of them would feel like they were leaving him out. Sora returned without anything to eat and dropped down into the armchair.

“Someone needs to go down to the store to get something,” he said and turned his hopeful eyes at Roxas.

“No way,” Roxas shook his head. Kairi chuckled.

“You’ve been complaining how boring it is in here,” Sora tried to persuade him.

Roxas shook his head and reached for the remote controller. He just could reach far enough to get a grip of it. “I’m not going to the store all by myself just to get you snacks. Make some food if you’re hungry. There’s pasta and leftovers.”

“You could ask Axel to go with you,” Sora suggested and smiled infuriatingly innocently.

“I’m NOT going grocery shopping with Axel!”

“Axel? The redhead?” Kairi wanted to ensure she was on the same page with them.

“The one and only,” Sora said with a smile.

Roxas faked a wide smile. “Sora,” he said with a warning tone.

Sora smiled back all knowingly and Kairi looked bewildered. “There’s something here I don’t get?” she asked and Sora nodded with agreeing mumbling.

“Roxas’ just down since he got kicked out of his clan in the Game-“

“I quit,” Roxas corrected and these words were for Kairi, Sora had heard a longer version already. He found it funny that Roxas seemed affected by ‘quitting a stupid game’ – Sora’s words – and wasn’t over it even the next morning. Roxas felt like he had a right to feel bored. He wasn’t being the least unreasonable.

“That’s sad?” she tried, but she knew even less than Sora about the Game. “You’ll find something else to do.”

“It’s no big deal,” Roxas sighed. He opened the telly and tried to get out of way as much as he could without leaving the room. They just had to take the hint and decide to do something that didn’t involve him. As long as they didn’t start to make out on the tiny sofa, he was fine with whatever they came up with.

“So about the groceries...” Sora tried once again.

“I said no.”

“I’m not really hungry, Sora,” Kairi said.

“I don’t need anything,” Roxas added.

“I’m hungry,” Sora said.

“Take yesterday’s leftovers,” Roxas suggested.

“You wouldn’t mind, Kairi? There’s only enough for one.”

“Go ahead.”

Sora returned to the kitchen and moment later he’d come up with a new dilemma. “Do you think I could use one of the mushrooms? There’d still be plenty to use when Mum and Dad get here.”

“If you want,” Roxas replied and gave up with the TV. He leaned against the armrest and gave up on the thought he could do something on his own.

“So what do you plan to make when your parents get here?” Kairi asked.

Roxas shrugged. “Some sort of stew I guess. Sora has had fun searching for recipes. Very few have tomatoes in them so he can’t make up his mind.”

“Sounds nice,” Kairi said.

“What sounds nice?” Sora peeked from the kitchen and asked. The microwave buzzed on the background and he had a jug of juice in his hands.

“We just- About the stew you are making when your parents get here. When are they coming anyway?” Kairi explained.

“Probably not before Christmas,” Roxas said and accepted the glasses Sora offered to him and Kairi before returning to get a glass for himself. “We’ve dried and chopped the mushrooms.”

“I don’t mind they can’t get here. It’s nice to have nothing to do. Not to clean,” Sora laughed and filled the glasses.

Roxas couldn’t help a chuckle. Nothing to do? Sora sounded like Sora. Of course no parents meant having fun and not having to clean up after himself. “Sora, your food,” Roxas pointed out. There had been a barely audible cling that Sora hadn’t heard what with staring at Kairi. He jumped up and looked like he burnt his hands taking the plate out without waiting it to cool off.

“Roxas, what are you planning on doing today?” Kairi asked. “Sora said you had somewhere to go.”

Roxas looked at Kairi searching for clues. She wanted him out of here? What had Sora said- “Sora!” Roxas called on his cousin.

“Yeees?”

“Where did you say I was going today?” Roxas asked innocently.

“I-,“ Sora said and signed him to wait a moment so he got himself a fork and a knife. “I just said you’d probably spend some time at Axel’s.”

Roxas looked at Sora and made sure he saw that he wasn’t amused. He couldn’t say anything about shutting up now could he? Kairi was confused enough and questions wouldn’t be easy to answer. “Sure, yeah. Probably,” he said as flatly as he could. He hadn’t planned on meeting Axel today just for the reason that he hadn’t seen the man in two days. He’d disappeared after the Game incident and Roxas didn’t find it his place to go annoy him if he wanted t be alone. “I haven’t asked if he’s home tonight.”

“He’s always home,” Sora said sounding- yep, he did want him out of the house, now. Sora smiled apologising.

“I can go ask,” Roxas sighed and got up. He smiled at Kairi who was just as confused as she should be. It had been a _bad_ decision to let Sora on them. It was Axel’s fault, all of it. “I’ll be back in a minute if he’s not home.”

Roxas didn’t exactly hope Axel wasn’t there. It would be nice to ruin Sora’s plans, but it might be more fun to actually escape. Axel hadn’t been home yesterday so he might’ve gone away for a longer time- Roxas didn’t know where, but it wasn’t like he knew every single place Axel ever was to.

Roxas rang the bell and put his hands in his trouser pockets. Axel should be happy to see him. He’d have a good laugh with the whole copycatting that Roxas had been up to yesterday. Even though he’d left without any drama, just disappeared without a warning...

Axel was home. There was the sound of the innermost door opening and then Roxas could see Axel’s grinning face. “I heard what you did yesterday,” Axel said.

“The Game?” Roxas guessed and Axel confirmed that they were talking about the same thing.

“Want to come in or am I invited somewhere?” Axel asked.

“Sora kicked me out,” Roxas said and Axel kicked the door fully open and stepped aside.

“Why?” Axel asked amused.

“He wanted some time alone with Kairi,” Roxas explained and jumped on the couch. Axel squeezed onto the other end of it and crossed his legs facing Roxas. “Blackmailed me down here.”

“Sora blackmailed you?”

“Yeah,” Roxas muttered. “So where did you disappear yesterday?”

“Dropped some papers by the university and then went pay Tifa back some of the ranting I’ve had to listen lately,” Axel said.

“What? You went to see Tifa?”

“Yeah,” Axel said. “She made me work for it though.”

“Why?”

“Needed time,” Axel shrugged.

“You didn’t have _any_ other place to go?”

“Why shouldn’t I’ve gone there?” Axel asked.

“I dunno,” Roxas had to shrug because he really didn’t know why it sounded so strange. Tifa was nice. She and Axel obviously knew each other pretty well. It all made sense. “Did you explain about the Game to her?”

“No, there’d been no point,” Axel laughed. “So, Sora’s been all sympathetic with you now that there’s been drama at the Game? Or haven’t you told him?”

“I tried,” Roxas said. “But he doesn’t get why I want to quit.”

“So you’re not going back?”

“No,” he shook his head. “Do they – How did you know what I did yesterday?”

“Got some angry calls yesterday.”

“What?”

“Mostly about my stunt, but they suspected that it wasn’t just your computer breaking down yesterday.”

“How’d they know that?”

“I leave, you leave, I’ve used you too often as an excuse?”

“They suspect someth – You haven’t said anything, have you?” Roxas asked scared.

“Nah,” Axel shook his head. “You’d get angry if I did.”

Roxas didn’t want to say anything to that. Yeah, he would’ve gotten angry, but at the same time, who was he to tell Axel not to ever mention anything to his friends? It wasn’t like they’d tell to someone Roxas wanted to hide it all from. Roxas didn’t _want_ to tell Cloud, but it was mostly because it was more convenient without him making a fuss about it. It would blow over and then be done with – Roxas trusted Cloud to be an adult once in a while – but Roxas didn’t really want to force Cloud and Axel stay in the same room for any reason. Mom and Dad? Roxas might tell them if this thing was still a thing when they got home for cristmas.

Roxas liked the way things were now.

**xxx**

Demyx looked very lost in the environment. He moved the cup of coffee restlessly back and forth between his hands and waited for Axel to continue speaking. There had been no conversation to talk about, some questions, some answers, but the night hadn’t started to flow by like it had used to. Axel knew now that it hadn’t been clever thinking to invite Demyx instead of Xigbar or Saïx. The opposite.  Xigbar and Saïx were the two from the clan that Axel had known the longest, but neither of them really had adjusted to the idea of meeting for a coffee. All they did nowadays was to come up with bad jokes about why Axel had sent the invitation. Axel still refused to flat out tell that he had given up drinking for good. Nobody in the group was stupid enough not to have guessed the truth already, but Axel still kept clinging to the bit of self-respect.

And Saïx wasn’t actually on the list of people to be invited anywhere. The way Axel had left the Game had left their friendship on shaky ground. He didn’t know if the man was still angry at him, but he was angry at the man. There were lines that you shouldn’t be stepped over.

Axel had gotten close to grinding his teeth by now.  Demyx still said nothing.

 “So. Do you still play your guitar in the park?” Axel asked an innocent question. They had gone already through the basics, what was going on in their lives (nothing), what they thought of doing in the near future (nothing) and they were down to whatever crossed their minds.

Demyx nodded. “I’ve practised,” he added. The wounds of harsh criticism were still there and they were sore.

Axel knew that this would continue to be a boring conversation. He was afraid to ask about the Game, Demyx had nothing to really talk about with him.

“What about your studies? How are they going?” Demyx asked and smiled. Was it a smile because he was proud to have come up with a question that hadn’t been asked yet or a smile for smile’s sake, Axel couldn’t say.  Didn’t care.

They’d been here less than half an hour. It was too early to find an excuse to bail. “Fine” Axel said.

“You probably should keep studying. You had the talent for it,” Demyx agreed. Axel realised that Demyx probably didn’t even know what he was studying.

Neither found a way to continue and both concentrated on their coffees for a while. Axel had found a love for latte and was slowly adjusting to talking over the steamy aromas of it. It was relaxing in a different way than what alcohol had been but he kinda liked it. It might’ve also been that he’d been desperate enough to like it that he’d forgotten that he didn’t.

Demyx was staring out of the window when Axel got enough of the silence an looked up. “What’s up in your life then? You’re still studying something right?” Axel knew that the question was a bit dangerous, because the Game had been a big part of Axel’s life and it was probably still pretty central for Demyx. Hopefully, Demyx had the discretion to not mention it.

“I’m keeping busy with my studies, no end in sight there,” Demyx said. “That’s about it. I do some work in the evenings, study late into the night. It’s a miracle I managed to cram the Game in there. Not that there is that problem anymore.”

“What?” Axel knew it as a bad idea to ask, but the bait was too much right there. “You don’t play the Game anymore? I misunderstood, right?”

Demyx looked surprised.  Axel found himself wondering how much of it was practised and then came to the conclusion that it wasn’t. Demyx thought he knew something already and the bait had been just his attempt to make a jab at Axel.

“What is it?” Axel asked, maybe a bit annoyed. It should’ve been obvious to Demyx that Axel had burned the bridges and run. Calling Demyx had been his first attempt to get some of his social life back.

“The group broke up. We gave up,” Demyx said. Demyx sounded everything but pleased with the events. He sounded a bit accusing too, and Axel didn’t like that.

“Why? How? What happened?”

Demyx looked at Axel as if he was surprised by the questions. “Can’t you see the reason for yourself? It’s not that difficult. Really. _You_ should know what happened,” Demyx said and the accusing tone was still there. Right in the centre of everything.

“You don’t really try to tell me that it was all because I left? I wasn’t the glue that kept us together. How could I have been?” Axel pointed out. It was futile, he knew, but he had still his pride. Demyx wasn’t ready to give up blaming him, but he wouldn’t accept any guilt that wasn’t his to carry.

“Why would the group suddenly have broken up when you left then? Roxas left right after you and we didn’t have anybody to heal us...”

“Vexen? Why couldn’t he keep healing you as he used to? I wasn’t your healer. And if Roxas left it isn’t my fault,” Axel stated. Axel might have been many of the reasons Roxas had become a part of their group but the decision to leave had nothing to do with him. “Blame Saïx if you want to. He was the reason I left.”

Demyx laughed. “You don’t believe that yourself either! You missed several meetings, it was only necessary for him to take a larger role. And you weren’t one of the highest in the hierarchy anyway. You can’t use that as you excuse.”

“Why does it matter if I left? There shouldn’t have been any problems since I was gone.”

“There was. You broke the balance. You made us unsure who was in command,” Demyx said. Once again with the accusations that made no sense. How could he have watched over the group and its delicate balance when he didn’t play the stupid game anymore?

“It’s not my problem,” Axel said and shrugged to get the point across.

“Really?” Demyx was angry now. He seemed like he had been hoping that Axel would take the blame. “We all agreed that it was important for everybody to be at the meetings. You decided that the promise didn’t include you. We had promised to play in the Game together trice a week, excluding good reasons. But did you think it was something you should keep to? No!”

Axel looked around, saw that there were curious glances to their direction. “Demyx, calm down. So, I got busy. I found something else to do.”

“‘I have a life’?” Demyx asked in a mocking tone.

Axel lifted an eyebrow. “Is it so hard to understand it might be the truth?”

“Can’t really remember you complaining that the Game took too much time before.”

“Situations change, can’t you see that?” Axel asked. He was getting angry. Demyx shook his head defiantly. Axel laughed and with the reaction managed to silence the argument Demyx was about to use. “Are you too stupid to realise I don’t plan on saying I was the culprit, I was wrong, I should return and everything would be like it used to? It not going to happen!”

“Of course I can see that. There no group to return to. The notorious clan is dead. And that _is_ because of you!”

“Give it up. I had nothing to do with the idiocy that happened once I was gone. Saïx was happy to take my place. All you needed to do  was to recruit a new with mage like we used to before Roxas came along,” Axel explained as calmly as he could make himself now. He rose up, looked down at Demyx and smiled. “And if that’s all you had to say, I’ll leave.”

Demyx looked at him a bit bewildered. “What?”

“It was nice to hear how your life is messed up and you have nothing else to do than blame it on me. Hopefully we don’t have to see each other too soon again.” And that said, Axel left. Demyx was smart enough not to follow.

**xxx**

Sora had been sick now for little over a week and Roxas was getting used to waking up and getting done with all the morning routines alone. He left a glass of juice for Sora when he left for school and most of the times Sora had managed to get rid of it before he got home. Yesterday he'd been too tired to wake up before noon. Time not used by sleeping, Sora hid in the bathroom. It seemed like Sora had gotten the most evil stomach flu there possibly could be, and Roxas hoped that he’d be spared it.

Sora had only mumbled something inaudible when Roxas checked on him this morning and left a glass of orange juice on the bedside table. Roxas sat by the kitchen table going through the headlines of the morning paper when he heard the door open and Sora suddenly emerged waddled out of his room.

"Morning!" Roxas said surprised and happy to see recovering in Sora's condition. "Feeling better?"

Sora smiled weakly and shook his head. "Not really," he said and stopped shortly at the kitchen door. "My stomach getting way more upset."

"Oh," Roxas sighed disappointed. "Should I go get some meds for you? I could visit the pharmacy before I head home. I mean, I’ll skip today if you don’t want to be alone- I'll be gone only for few hours."

"Go to school," Sora smiled and left for the bathroom.

When Sora got out of there, Roxas was already getting his shoes on. "You'll be alright?" It wasn't like Sora was feeling overly ill, the only reason for him to really worry was how it had been already a week and Sora hadn't really made any turns to the better.

"I'll be fine. I'll call you if I get lonely."

"Okay," Roxas agreed and left.

xXx

It was around midday that Roxas phone started jumping in his pocket. He usually ignored it during class, but this time knowing that it would be Sora, he excused himself and got out in the hallway to talk. Good thing his teachers were nice enough not to have any problem with student answering emergencyphonecalls like he put it.

"Are you alright?" Roxas asked the first thing which was rather pointless since the deal had been to call if everything wasn't alright.

"I think you need to get home," Sora said and tried to sound like he wasn't worried when he was. He didn't sound like everything was alright, not to Roxas ears.

"I'll just grab my things and- Do you want me to call a cab?"

"Take the bus if it comes without too much waiting," Sora said and there was a sigh. "I don't think I'll die immediately anyway."

Roxas waited for a laugh, but when there was no he had to ask, “Is it that bad?"

"I got some cramps just now and- and there was blood," Sora said.

That was all Roxas needed to quickly after few calming words hang up the phone and return inside. He explained shortly that he had to go take his cousin to the hospital and then left the building. Naminé hadn't shared that specific class with him so there was no-one to deliver the message why he’d disappeared during the day to other teachers, but he didn’t care now. Probably that was quite normal anyway.

He ended up taking the cab since the timetable didn't promise any bus within the next fifteen minutes and he definitely didn't feel like waiting any longer than five. He gave the address to the driver that got to the bus stop where Roxas had made the call in few minutes and called then Sora to make sure he was ready to go ones he got there. Adding extra instructions about taking money to pay for the first ride and the second ride Roxas finally felt like everything was under control and it was easier to pretend that everything would be fine. He had to be sure about that. Sora was ill. Really ill.

Fifteen minutes took the journey to their apartment and a weak looking Sora was in the cab few long minutes later. He made some jokes about Roxas overkill worry, but didn't protest about getting to the hospital.

"I don't think I'll die," Sora said as they stopped at the first traffic lights. "They'll probably just say that we need to buy some very expensive meds and that's it."

"Yeah," Roxas agreed as he dialled Mum’s number. "I'll call Mum though. It doesn't hurt to have her here."

"She’ll be here earliest tomorrow," Sora commented. "Flight tickets aren't too easy to get."

"Dad’s going to help her get here on the first flight," Roxas reassured and got a smile out of Sora.

"Okay, you're right."

Mum answered and Roxas had to signal Sora to wait till he'd explained all to Mum in some way that didn't freak her out too much. Knowing this to be basically mission impossible, he didn't think too long and too harsh on his words. "Mum, I don't know yet what’s wrong, but...Um... Sora needs to get to the hospital."

"What has happened? Was there an accident?" Mum asked and sounded calmer than Roxas could’ve imagined.

"No, Mum, Sora's just been sick... He's been sick for a week now and it just turned worse-"

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thanks," Roxas said feeling the relief flushing over him. Mum would really make everything alright.

"Could you pass the phone to Sora? Is he there near?"

"Yeah, we're in a cab getting to the hospital now," Roxas said and handed the phone over.

"Hi Mum," Sora greeted and sounded a lot cheerful than he looked. He was pale and tired and felt like hell, Roxas didn't have to ask to know the last one.

The hospital wasn't too far away, but it took fifteen minutes through empty daytime streets to get there. Sora walked slowly, but with his own feet into the lobby and after telling the newest symptoms, a nurse told them that they would most likely be let in. "If you just sit down there and fill this out-" he instructed and pointed the rows of chairs for those still waiting their turn and slid a form with many boxes to cross out and lines for names and numbers. "You’re both under the age of 18, right?” he asked and Roxas nodded. “Do you have a guardian who’d be able to get here?”

“No,” Roxas said. “Our guardians are out of the country at the moment, but we’ve asked them to fly home as soon as they can.”

“I see. We’ll have to work out what to do with that. Could you put a name and a phone number there on the form,” he said and pointed on the box for extra info. “I'll ask in the mean time around to find the doctor who can get started with the examination," he continued and lifted the phone on the desk.

"Seems like I'm an emergency patient," Sora said and smiled, but Roxas had real hard time answering it. They were used to hospitals, more than most - after Cloud’s incident they had sat next to a hospital bed for days, but Mum and Dad had been there then to say it was all going to be alright and it had all been alright. Cloud hadn’t hurt himself too bad not to survive. Concussion, broken arm and a couple of ribs had all healed. But the trauma it had left Cloud was still there, but it didn’t feel like it belonged to hospitals. After all, Zack had never gotten even near one.

“Have you called Cloud?” Sora asked as they sat down and started crossing the boxes.

Roxas shook his head. “Mum will make sure he knows we’re here, you know she will,” he reassured. “I- I don’t want to be the one to ask him come to a hospital.”

Sora nodded. He understood.

A doctor came accompanied by a nurse and smiling and reassuring they lead Sora to a room with clear blue walls.

Cloud got there before any of the many tests were taken and to Roxas surprise got charge of the situation. He explained where their guardians where and why, how they would be there latest by morning, and that he would put his name on stuff if there was something that couldn’t wait. Sora was whisked from test to test, blood analysis and urine test were among the first, but neither confirmed that there’d be some sort of toxin destroying Sora’ kidneys – but it was very clear that something was very wrong. Sora would stay the night, they all would. And the first thing the doctor told them was that Sora was to get into line for a transplant organ and all close relatives would need to be tested for suitability.

“It might’ve been something he’s ingested, gotten from the environment. We don’t know more at the moment. We need to take a test sample,” the doctor explained the results to Cloud and Roxas was near enough to hear. Sora was resting in his room and they sat just outside the glass doors waiting. Mum would be there on the early hours of tomorrow. She and Dad were already getting to the airport.

“Is it a large operation?” Cloud asked.

“No, it’ll be over before he notices anything. It will tell us what is going on,” the doctor told. “About you both getting tested for being donors, are you both willing to go through it?”

“Yes,” said Roxas, but Cloud had to shake his head.

“I can’t,” he said. “I’m not suitable for to be a donor. Medication.”

“We’ll need first a blood sample from you then,” the doctor said after nodding understanding at Cloud. “I’ll send a nurse here to help. If you or some other relative is a match, we’ll be able to operate before the end of the week.”

“Really?” Roxas asked surprised.

“Taking the test used to take months, but nowadays the machines can tell us if you’re the matching blood type and if your antibodies will choose to co-operate within hours. We have to check the blood for any drugs and medication and make sure the donor is healthy and really willing and knows what he or she’s up to, but we’ll know within three days if the surgery can be done.”

“Okay,” Roxas said. “It hurt to take the samples, doesn’t it?”

“It stings a little,” the doctor said with a comforting smile.

 


	21. In sickness and in health

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!

“Hey, Roxas,” Sora mumbled, sleep almost overpowering him already. They’d patched him up after the taking the test sample and he lay now on his hospital bed bandaged and hooked up to a machine that kept cleaning his kidneys – they said it wouldn’t fix the problem, but would buy them some more time and make Sora feel better. So much had happened in the past 24 hours that Roxas had hard time believing he was still sitting by the hospital bed waiting for their parents to come. “It’s already two o’clock,” Sora said.

“Their flight has landed a while back then,” Roxas answered and looked up at the clock on the wall too. “Mum’ll call any moment now.” 

 Roxas knew he wouldn’t be getting to school tomorrow, but he couldn’t stay here forever either. Once Mum and Dad arrived he’d head back home to get some sleep, that was what Cloud had decided and Roxas didn’t see the point of fighting against the decision. He’d be back once he’d had something as close to a good night’s sleep he now possibly could.

“Where’s Cloud?” Sora asked.

“He went to get something to eat,” Roxas told. “You were taking a nap when he left.”

“Who’s going to stay the night?”

“Mum and Dad,” Roxas said. “Me and Cloud are going to head to Cloud’s place. It’s closer by. We’ll be back by the first light.”

“You don’t need to worry so much,” Sora tried to cheer him up and flashed his smile. “The surgery will fix everything.”

“We don’t even know yet what happened,” Roxas said out of frustration. He tried to be careful around Sora, but he too was getting tired.

“They’ll know tomorrow morning,” Sora said full of optimistic trust on the health care. Roxas just wished that he’d be able to take it that-

“Sora, Roxas,” Cloud said as he slid the glass door open. He had his phone to his shoulder. “They’ll be here any moment now.”

Mum and Dad walked in about ten minutes after Cloud had come in to warn them both looking exhausted and worried – they’d been briefed about everything, but they hadn’t seen their sons for the better half of the year and this definitely wasn’t like the happy family holiday they’d been planning to return for. Roxas got a quick hug, Cloud a pat on the shoulder before Mum sat down next to the bed.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

“Hi, Mum,” Sora smiled. “Only tired, really.”

“That’s... good.” She smiled too. “So, how’s life been back here?”

Roxas said his goodbyes leaving Mum take care of staying with Sora till he’d fall asleep. Cloud followed him, but asked one question from their father before stepping outside the room.

“Is Aunt coming?”

Dad shrugged. “We tried to contact her, but-“

Cloud nodded, walked to Roxas and led him out to his bike waiting on the parking lot. He’d been prepared to take Roxas home and gave the extra helmet to him once outside in the cold night air. It was already dark and the street lights cast their spotlights on the pavement. Roxas sat down behind Cloud, wrapped his hands around him and just wished that everything would’ve been over already.

xXx

Day two at the hospital was uneventful. Sora slept through most of the day and the rest of them sat around the bed to keep him and each other company. Once in a while Roxas would escape to get some air.

“Aunt isn’t coming, is she?” Roxas asked on one of those times away from the bed. Mum sat with him on the benches just outside the hospital entrance. The sun was shining, but they needed their coats.

“I don’t know where she is,” she said and looked away. “She’d be here if she’d know about Sora being in a hospital.”

“She hasn’t been around for years-“ Roxas said, but was interrupted by his phone. He didn’t remember switching it on. “Sorry,” he said and seeing it was Naminé calling just shut it off. He turned it to mute and dropped into his coat pocket. “Sora’s her son,” he finished his sentence knowing that Mum didn’t appreciate his accusing tone. Roxas was old enough when Sora got adopted to the family to know they weren’t brothers, but the only real difference was that they introduced themselves as cousins out of an old, now a somewhat weird habit.

“Sora’s my son too,” Mum said and gave him her strict look. “She had her reasons to leave him to our care and we’ll take care of him now.”

“I didn’t say-“ That Sora wasn’t her son? He’d said it. He hadn’t meant it to sound like that to his defence, but he knew how it had come out. He apologized.

“She should be here,” Mum said after a while and hugged Roxas closer to herself. “But we’ll have to be enough for now.”

“She could’ve been a suitable donor,” Roxas dared to still add.

“She wouldn’t be any better than I am, Roxas,” mum said and smiled. “There’s a big possibility that either of us will be able to help.”

Roxas smiled, but felt restless. The test result hadn’t come yet, but Roxas had had a small chat with a psychologist to make sure he knew what it would mean to give away a kidney. It was nothing drastic besides a scar, but the thought of surgery didn’t fill him with joy.

xXx

“Are you scared?” Roxas asked. It was the dawn of the day of the surgery, but Sora could still smile like this was just an ordinary day. He didn’t look any better than he’d looked on the day they’d gotten to the hospital, was still weak and had slept through most of yesterday, but he seemed relaxed. Doctors said it was understandable with an sudden poisoning like this that it wouldn’t get better before the new kidney was in its place – even though they’d cleaned most of the poison away the body would need time to fight and the fight would begin once the new organ was in its place.

The biopsy had told them what the cause of the poisoning was. Orellanine. That was the name of the toxin that had been making Sora sick the whole time.  Sora was the only one to laugh when the doctor told that it is found in mushrooms – deadly and very much edible looking. Most likely one or more of the mushrooms they’d picked up from the forest had been deadly webcaps. They weren’t the first one to mistake them for their cousin.

“It’s going to be fine,” Sora said. “So, have you told Axel where we are?”

Roxas blinked and had to look around to make sure it was just the two of them in the room. Cloud had gone to dinner with their parents, but they could’ve come back and-

“Silly,” Sora chuckled. “As if I didn’t know when to keep quiet.”

“It’s not-“ Roxas tried to protest. “I- I haven’t,” he said and brushed his finger through his hair and looked away.

Sora looked at him surprised. Yeah, he’d expected some other answer. “You two were supposed to meet yesterday.”

“How’d you-“

“I heard you talk,” Sora shrugged innocently.

“Sora, I don’t stalk on you and Kairi!”

Sora chuckled again. “Are you going to tell him?”

Roxas didn’t answer. He hadn’t even remembered to call yesterday’s date off and Axel probably was pissed because of it. Roxas didn’t know. He hadn’t had the time to check his phone and worry about his friends getting all worked up. He’d just been too busy running in the tests and there was no way his friends would stay home and leave him alone now, no way they’d understand that he was fine with only his family here. Any extra people would only make it even more complicated. Try mentioning the word hospital and not scare people shitless. It was a rule to live by – do not mention you’re at a hospital if you want some peace and quiet.

“Are you sure?” Sora asked.

“It’s none of your business,” Roxas retorted. The most annoying thing was – he was worried how Axel might take all this. Him not showing up, him not telling where he was, but that was none of the redheads business just like it wasn’t Sora’s. “I’ll go get some fresh air,” Roxas sighed knowing that he shouldn’t leave Sora alone. He’d supposed to wait till Cloud or Mum or Dad or a nurse or anyone got here.

Roxas had gotten all the way to the door, placed his hand on the handle, before he stopped in his steps. “Does Kairi know?” It was a stupid question to ask and he’d probably do nothing with the answer. It wasn’t like these were anything that he should be even thinking about now because all of this stuff could be taken care off once everything was over. It would be lot easier then. Maybe some angry words – no, you couldn’t yell at anyone on a hospital bed – and it would be over. Over like that. Without any problems.

“She’ll get here after school. And Riku too,” Sora said.

Roxas left with a hurry and without really thinking about it. It was when he spun around the corner and was faced by the doors that lead to the lobby he realized he didn’t even have his coat on. It wouldn’t do any good to go out and freeze, but he had other options besides admitting his defeat and returning to get the stupid jacket. He could walk around the hospital and listen to the sobbing and murmuring and calming words and nurses calling names and no, he couldn’t. Sora could stay calm if he wanted, but he could not stop thinking- Not in this smell of disinfectants and cleaning chemicals.

 He could take a new turn to the left and get downstairs to the cafeteria and try to find the rest of the family there. Mum would calm him down. Which was stupid since it wasn’t he who _really_ should need someone holding his hand and preventing him to get all tangled up in his thoughts. He wasn’t facing a lifetime of medication and frequent visits to a hospital for the rest of his life. Why’d it had to be his family that could fill a whole season of hospital drama?

Not feeling like getting a therapy session from his family, Roxas turned around and headed back to remember his coat.

xXx

It was the last phone call Axel had expected, but he hadn’t even waited to come up with an excuse before storming out of the door. He’d just said Tifa that he needed to go and then the next minute been gone. Tifa hadn’t had the chance to yell after him. It was a bizarre feeling to not reason at all and just go. It wasn’t like it felt wrong, but the truth to be said he had no idea if this was just one more turn he shouldn’t be taking. He wouldn’t be a welcomed quest. There was no way. Sora’d said that this hadn’t been Roxas’ request. More Sora hadn’t had the time to tell. He’d just said something about someone comming without a warning hanged up.

Which made the question – questions – Axel had had running wild since yesterday just go berserk. What the hell was going on? Why hadn’t Roxas called him? Was it a sign of something? Was he an idiot – yes he was. Roxas liked him anyway. Was someone dying?

Axel hopped on the first bus heading towards the right direction and ended up getting off one stop too early. He knew the town well enough to find his way through the blocks of office buildings and fancy little parks and the only reason he didn’t run was the nagging feeling that he would’ve looked absolutely loony if anyone knew he’d just stormed out of his workplace and was now running across half the town just to see someone he shouldn’t be seeing.

Then again, Roxas had missed their date so it was essentially his fault that Axel was this lost on what was going on and what he himself was doing.

It took him 27 minutes to get out of one door and back inside through another. The hospital was a four storey building with grey walls and lots of glassy surfaces everywhere. You could walk in there without having to touch a single door, they all slid out of the way, or would’ve if Axel had walked in a sensible pace. His long steps left him waiting at both of the doors that stood between him and the lobby with the receptionist were sitting in a circle of white tables. Countless binders had been neatly piled into towers next to the computers people stared when no-one was there to disturb them.

Axel very much intended to interrupt someone’s day to get some answers. He walked straight through the room and placed his hand on the table and flashed a smiled. It got returned.

“How may I help you, sir?” the man sitting opposite of him asked pleasantly and placed his hands already on the keyboard to insert any info that needed to be searched or added to the database.

Axel never even got to even open his mouth.

“Axel?” asked a very uncertain voice there was no mistaking of.

Axel flashed an apologising grin at the nurse and turned around to face Roxas. An angry Roxas? Roxas definitely didn’t seem pleased to see him and took a firm hold of his arm and after a strict glare Axel followed without any resistance. Roxas kept going like he knew where to and they went through a pair of glass doors to a hallway with rooms and at the first place to make turns, Roxas made a sharp one to the right and then stopped.

“How did you find me here?”

Axel blinked. “You found me.”

Roxas ignored the jab completely and barged into the next question. “You’re here because I’m here? You are not here because you happen to have someone else you are going to see?”

“Yeah.”

Roxas crossed his arms. “What were you thinking?”

And Axel knew that this was not the moment to say he hadn’t been thinking. “Why are you so upset?” he asked instead.

“My family is here,” Roxas said. “You think anything at all?”

“It’s not like I’m wearing a sign to attract attention,” Axel tried to reason. “If you hadn’t done that – Gotten all scared and dragged me here, no-one would’ve in any way seen anything connecting us.”

Those seemed to have been the magic words that made Roxas lower his walls. He uncrossed his arms. He took a deep breath and leaned to Axel, hiding his face. “I’m glad you’re here,” Roxas said then, the words being a quiet murmur almost like he didn’t want the words to be heard.

Axel smiled and closed his arms behind Roxas’ back. “That’s why I’m here.”

Roxas shook his head and Axel felt the movement against his chest. “I can’t even think straight,” Roxas admitted. The words had gotten more strength to them now.

Time for some answers. “What’s going on? Why are you here?”

“No. You answer the question first. I haven’t told anyone where I am-“ Roxas said, still talking to Axel’s chest – and it hit him halfway through the sentence. “Sora told you,” he said and looked up.

“Yes,” Axel admitted with a nod.

“How? He doesn’t have your number,” Roxas said. “Unless you’ve given it to him without me knowing.”

“He used your cell,” Axel said. It had been a god thing he’d been at work and hadn’t answered the call with something sappy he couldn’t have taken back when he’d realized it wasn’t Roxas. Sappiness wasn’t really their thing, but Roxas did have entertaining reactions whenever Axel said something too mushy and it was good, harmless fun once in a while.

“How did he-“ Roxas launched into a new question, but Axel wanted to get past all these unimportant details already.

“I don’t know,” Axel interrupted with. “It’s your turn now.”

Roxas dropped the question and said, “Because of Sora.”

“That’s not an answer. That’s being an ass about it,” Axel said and Roxas rolled his eyes. He knew it too, but it looked like he needed someone to be angry at. Let it be him, Axel thought. As long as it was what Roxas needed _and_ he got his answers in the end.

Roxas kept his stare and silence for a moment before giving up. “I’ve told you already. Sora was sick.”

“I thought it was the flu or something? What he got to get here?”

“It was the mushrooms. They – Sora was the only one to eat them. Toxins,” Roxas summarized and Axel felt it hit him straight in the stomach.

“You mean that if you’d really made the stew out of it- We’d be all here?” he asked. Had it really been that much of a close call for all of them?

 Roxas nodded.

And when the worth shock passed, Axel knew that even if the worst hadn’t happened, Sora had eaten the mushrooms and he was here, in the hospital. “Is he going to be alright?”

“He’ll need surgery,” Roxas said unusually void of emotion.

“What?”

“Today,” Roxas added and smiled a sad smile. He was crumbling and Axel had no idea what he’d done to set it off and if it was a good thing or not.

“Hey, he’ll be alright,” Axel said and made his hug tighter. Roxas didn’t protest.

“I’ll know. But I’m scared anyway!” Roxas let it out and hid his face again. “There’s no reason to be...”

“Hospitals are fucking scary,” Axel said without really having expertise to back his words of. His somewhat dangers seeking life had brought him to a hospital only once  and even then he’d been diagnosed with a slight concussion only. But it had felt like the right thing to say anyway.

“Axel, he’ll need a new kidney. He’ll need meds his whole life. And he doesn’t even- He smiles!”

“Sounds like Sora. It’ll be just fine and he knows it.”

“I feel stupid getting upset like this.”

“You don’t have to act brave.”

“Easy for you to say. I don’t want force Mum to carry anything she doesn’t needs to. Everything’s complicated enough as it is now,” Roxas said and looked up again. He was braver than he gave himself credit for – he might’ve been scared but he was also determined like Axel had never seen him before.

“She flew here to make sure you’ll be okay. She can handle you saying you’re scared. I’d be worried. In fact, I was damn worried when you didn’t answer my calls and wasn’t home – Have you been here two days already?”

“Three. I’ve spent the nights at Cloud’s place.”

“You could’ve sent a message,” Axel said. “I thought it was part of the contract to be told about things like this.You know, with me being your boyfriend and all. Or me thinking I was?”

“That’s the problem. If I’d said where I was, you’d get here without thinking. If I just hadn’t happened to be on my way back in – You’d run to Sora’s room immediately, wouldn’t you?”

“Probably, yeah. Whatever it took to find out what was going on.”

“Cloud’s there. Mum and Dad are there. What would’ve you said?” Roxas asked.

“I’d say I was a friend. Sora would play along,” Axel said and shrugged. It wasn’t as complicated as Roxas made it sound like.

“Cloud knows who you are.”

“He’s seen us together.”

“Once. He wouldn’t get it why you’re there and not my real friends. Those who I’ve known for years,” Roxas said.

“I’m an adult who knows how to get off work early?” Axel suggested.

Roxas shook his head. “You can’t come anywhere near our rooms.”

“Call your friends then and let them sit there for a while so you won’t have to feel like I shouldn’t sit there with too. WAIT. Wait-wait-wait. You got a room too? Did you eat those mushrooms? What are you not telling me?”

“No, it’s not that,” Roxas said and shook his head. Axel didn’t like it how Roxas had to look away, and try to hide his eyes like he was ashamed. “I’m the one who’ll donate the kidney.”

You didn’t plan to tell me?” Axel asked.

“So that you’d just-“ Roxas broke of middle of the sentence. “I don’t know!”

“No,” Axel stated firmly. “Be selfish ones in a while. Sora’ll be fine, the doctors will take care of it. Let them find someone else to donate a spare kidney. They’ll manage that.”

“Sora needs the kidney now. And I’m here and can help. Want to help,” Roxas said, not once doubting himself.

Axel raised his hand up in defeat. “Then don’t give a shit what I say. Your decision. Stand by it.”

“Thanks,” Roxas said and he smiled. It was a bright smile that reached even his eyes.

“You don’t get all scared if I kiss you now?” Axel asked.

Roxas didn’t say anything but wrapped his hands around Axel’s neck so that he could give the kiss himself. Roxas wasn’t a hungry kisser. He’d been scared and careful at first, but even now that Axel liked to think he was comfortable with it all, all he needed was a soft touch and closeness. A nose flattened against his cheek, hands messing his hair and an innocent grin once it was over – Axel loved every second of it.

Roxas moved slowly away, allowed a grin so very adorable to spread on his face and only then looked to see if they’d had any audience. Few people walking on the hallway, nobody paying them any attention. Roxas stayed calm.

“If it wasn’t for my family- I mean, they making it complicated,” Roxas muttered.

“I get it,” Axel agreed. He would stay away from their rooms, but he’d wait in the hospital. There was no way he’d be leaving. But that he didn’t tell Roxas.

“I’ll call you immediately when I wake up,” Roxas promised.

They were still for a breath, but then Roxas had to turn around and walk away. They were waiting him elsewhere. And Axel couldn’t follow.

xXx

Axel didn’t regret the deal he’d made with Roxas. He knew well enough why it was the wisest thing to do, why he had to stay away and why he should’ve just left the hospital. He knew better but he had finally come to realise that he was terminally stupid. He sat on a sofa that was placed on the hallway that led to the rooms that belonged to Sora and Roxas. Axel hadn’t seen Roxas since their short conversation which was good – Roxas would’ve just stressed about the fact that someone could see Axel sitting here and go berserk. Okay, yeah, Cloud had walked past once, but hadn’t noticed Axel – he’d been getting some coffee at the moment and been able to hide behind a corner. Gotten a near heart attack with that one, but was still alive.

Everything would be fine.

It was when a doctor looking guy walked past him and straight into Sora’s room with all his family waiting in there that Axel got worried. Was it the determined striding or the firm face that made Axel heart skip a beat, he didn’t care. That wasn’t how someone with good news approached the patient’s family. And Axel wanted to hear the words, wanted to know what was wrong, wanted to storm in there- He wanted to curse and do _something._ But there was nothing he could do.

It took forever before the man left the room and closed the glass door behind him. Axel knew better, but got up to his feet and tried to get the tiniest fragment of what was going on. “Excuse me,” he said with a smile.

“Yes?” the doctor answered, but didn’t look like he wanted to stay there long to chat.

“I was just wondering,” Axel continued without waiting the moment when he’d know what he was doing. Being overly polite felt strange. “You’re allowed to tell about the patients only to the family, right?”

“And to those we have the permission to tell, that’s right. Is there something I could help with? The nurses will help you if you have many questions.”

“So you wouldn’t tell me what was going on with a patient you have no prior knowledge of me knowing?”

“No, sorry, not allowed,” the man shook his head. “Who’s the patient who you are here to see?”

“No, um, he’s sleeping and the nurses just weren’t really happy to let me go see him… It’s okay though, I’ll wait him to wake up,” Axel said and backed off. The doctor nodded and walked away. Axel sat down and looked at the clock. He’d been here for two hours already.

Maybe he should just go home and wait till Roxas would wake up and call him.

What if there was something wrong?

What if Roxas wasn’t going to-

Shit. This wasn’t at all what he should do. What could go wrong? Nothing. Nothing to go wrong. Standard procedure. He looked to the direction of Sora’s room and got to regret it. Cloud stood there at the door, reassuring a woman that Axel guessed to be Sora’s or Roxas’ mom and both looked so worried. Then Cloud looked up and saw him and Axel didn’t think twice like he should’ve. He got up, looked straight back and started walking towards the room.

Cloud opened the door and looked at him suspiciously, but it wasn’t Cloud who asked the first question. The woman sitting on the chair next to the door looked up and to Axel surprise wasn’t as teary eyed as he’d feared. The look Axel got from her was sharp, demanding and no way was this going to end like Axel hoped.

“Um, hi. The doctor, did he have any update on Roxas? Or Sora?” Axel asked knowing very much better. He had promised to stay away and he knew not to piss Cloud off and here he was.

“Who are you?” she demanded to know.

“A friend of Roxas’,” Axel answered.

“He has never mentioned of anyone like you,” she said and looked up and down on him, disapproving. “Where do you know him? Can’t be from school.”

“Okay, lady, I’m sorry he hasn’t mentioned me, but I do know Roxas and Sora. Maybe I’m not your favourite son-in-law-kinda guy, but I’m not Roxas’ drug dealer either,” Axel said even though he knew that reply wasn’t going to get him anywhere. It was just so frustrating to be locked out that he let it get over him.

All three occupants of the room – Cloud, a man and the woman – looked at him very much unimpressed. His charm was clearly not working right now.

“Hey, Cloud, help me out,” Axel asked out of desperation. Heads turned to look at Cloud who returned Axel request of help with uninterested stare.

“What do you want me to say?” Cloud asked.

“That you know me?”

“Yeah, I know him. Axel. Works for Tifa. No, haven’t the slightest why he is here,” Cloud said talking to everyone except Axel. It looked like Axel presence was even less welcome than it was usually. Which might’ve been something Roxas had warned him about. Probably should’ve seen that one coming from miles away.

“Please, couldn’t this be enough to prove that I’m not a total stranger?” Axel asked knowing well that his plead was one for deaf ears. What had he expected? Cloud knew him only as an asshole who there was no reason to let near anyone in a hospital bed. If either Sora or Roxas would’ve been there to say he was alright... They weren’t, of course, and he himself shouldn’t he be here either. “I’m here because Sora called me, told me that they’d be here, and asked me to come. Just tell me if they’ll alright and I’ll be gone.”

The surprise that those words brought was easy to see. The man and woman shared a look that Axel had no idea what it meant, but didn’t dare hope it was anything good for him.

“Your name is Axel, you work at a bar and you are friends with both our son and Sora?” the man asked to confirm and looked at Axel with more curiosity than what his wife had.  So these were Roxas parent. Oh how lucky he was, getting to meet the parents like this. Roxas would kill him.

“About. Do I need to tell everything about me to get even the shortest of summary on _what is going on_?”

“That’s what I’d like to know too,” said Cloud and nodded Axel to step outside. This time Axel obeyed and walked out of the room with Cloud. The glass door slid half close behind them leaving the parents mostly out of this conversation.

Axel didn’t like where this was going. He wanted to scream. He wanted to tell everything. Declare that yes, he should just fuck off and leave Roxas alone because he was some sort of freak. He wanted to make sure that Cloud knew how much was wrong with him, that all this caution was really needed, that he really should just walk away and go die in a fire and no-one would care. He said nothing.

“The surgery takes longer than expected.”

Axel was too thankful to remember the words to use and the ones he found after the moment’s searching weren’t ones he should’ve used. He hurried past all ‘thank you’s and ‘finally’ and only cared about answers to the questions that just wouldn’t stop bothering him. “What does that meant to Roxas? Is there something wrong? Sora?” Axel asked and Cloud didn’t answer fast enough to stop him asking a few more. “Will they bring Roxas to his room anytime soon? Do you allow me to see him then?”

It was Cloud who managed to look most shocked out of the family. Mom and Dad had clearly heard every single word. Before anyone even tried to come up with answers to the questions asked and left unasked, Cloud turned around and closed the door fully. He then took hold of Axel’s shoulder and walked him a bit down the hallway, not out of the eyesight of the parents, but probably past hearing distance. It was after that he stared Axel in silence for five long seconds before releasing all of his bewilderment in one simple line:

“What are you doing?”

“I can see where that question comes from,” Axel agreed.

“I want an answer and before I get one, you don’t go near my parents, Sora or Roxas.” It was no question. There was no ‘got it?’ attached.

“Clear enough,” Axel nodded and spared a quick glance at the parents that looked into their direction, worried and curious.

“So?” Cloud asked in a tone that really wouldn’t accept any bullshit. “I have no idea why you are here. You said Sora called you. Why would Sora do that?”

“It’s complicated. You don’t want to hear it – No, wait, I will explain,” Axel said calmly and with one sharp flick of his hand got Cloud silent before he could interrupt. “We’re at least friends with Roxas. We just had a rough start. You know the Game? Good. We found out we played in the same clan and that’s where we hit it off.”

“At least friends?”

So he had to play with fire and Cloud caught him. “Couldn’t my explanation enough?” he tried to stray from the question.

Cloud was silent a while, but accepted the question in the end. “You’re friends because both of you play the Game?”

“Yes. Fuck yes! Finally someone gets it.”

Cloud showed no interest to Axel’s reaction and made it clear he hadn’t finished. “There is no urgent need for you to be here. Roxas will call you when he’s well enough. You can play the game without him for a while. There is really no room or need for you here.”

To tell him that he didn’t play the Game anymore and that neither did Roxas? To tell him he was a fucking idiot? To tell him that whatever he said Axel wasn’t going to leave and listen to this bullshit because he had a RIGHT to be here? To tell him to go to HELL and- Axel couldn’t answer Cloud. He couldn’t say anything he wanted, none of them worked to his advantage.

“Cloud, I have a reason to be here,” Axel said finally as calm as he could. “You shouldn’t push it any harder.” It was most likely that because of those words all went to hell.

“This is my brother we’re talking about! He doesn’t want to see your face when he wakes up and I’m going to make sure of that he doesn’t need to,” Cloud said. He raised his voice now and was unusually animate in his expression. Gone was the distant, uninterested, docile man. This was the man that scared Axel, the man that was unpredictable, and very clearly the brother who was intent on protecting Roxas from the likes of… Axel.

For once, Axel didn’t care. He was past that. Way past it all. “Yes he does! I talked to him in these hallways just before the surgery and he said, he fucking said, that if it weren’t for you people making it all complicated, I’d be welcomed!”

“Roxas didn’t want you there because of us? What does that mean?”

“It means that he hadn’t told you about me and didn’t want us going through this stupid conversation!”

“You should respect his wishes and stay away then,” Cloud said irritatingly calmly and sounding frustratingly sensible.

But Axel was past all sensibility. ”No. I have the right to be as worried as you, right to hear when the doctor comes to tell news that makes everyone look like he’s dying.”

“Why?” Cloud asked like it was the simplest question.

And it was.

“Because I have been dating him for months and you moron didn't even notice. I mean, I get it why Roxas didn’t want to tell _you_ about it. But it’s kinda sad that Roxas feels like he has to live a life that won’t inconvenience anyone because the family already has so many problems. Honestly, yYou’d think that you knew what was going on his life from the way you are guarding him now.”

When Axel ran out of words he knew that he’d fucked up big time. There are things that should never be said when angry and pissed off to the point of not caring anymore. There are ways how to tell the brother of the guy you’re kind of involved with that you don’t intend to be quiet about it. There are ways how not to do. There are ways to get killed very painfully that happen to be quite similar to the things one should never say and ways how not to tell.

To Axel’s great surprise, Cloud didn’t hit him, strangle him to death or even yell at him. He just stared for a moment, made then a gesture of staying completely still and then walked back to the glass door and very worried looking parents. Axel didn’t know how much they’d hear of the conversation – most like only what he had been yelling and that wasn’t so bad compared to what Cloud had heard him blurt.

Cloud came back after an exchange of few quick words and he had strict instructions with him. “I said we’re going outside to talk. You follow me.”

Axel did not have the courage to flee now. He followed Cloud to the lobby and without a question out of the door. He didn’t ask where they were going, but then again he didn’t have to wait long to find it out himself. Cloud took one sharp turn to the left after they’d reached sunlight and lead them to the parking lot.

There were few people walking towards the entrance, but close to the wall where Cloud pushed Axel against there was no-one to interrupt them. Axel was afraid, but could still be sure that surely Cloud wouldn’t kill him. Too many people. Witnesses. Besides, Roxas wouldn’t have liked it, would he? Axel knew better than to try with that argument.

“Glass walls might keep talking voices outside, but they heard you yelling. I don’t like making my parents worried and definitely not because an idiot like you.” After those words, without changing his expression the slightest to warn Axel and allow him time to dodge, Cloud hit Axel.

It hurt like hell and Axel had to check he had his nose still intact after the initial shock wore off in few seconds. Cloud’s fist had missed to Axel’s relief and the hit had connected to Axel’s lower cheek, gracing the chinbone instead. The lack of broken bones made Axel sure that Cloud hadn’t punched intending to permanently damage him. What that meant, he didn’t want to speculate on too much. Maybe he spared him for a good, long beating?

“I want to hear what you wanted to accomplice, what the hell is going on and why I should let you see Roxas ever again,” Cloud said massaging his fist. “I don’t have any reason to like what you say, but I’m not unreasonable. You got this chance to explain or get the hell away and stay away from Roxas.”

“I’ll take the chance,” Axel said and couldn’t help but let a shaky breath escape. Cloud was fucking scary even when he made some sense and now he Wasn’t-Making-Any-Sense-At-All. Why punch him and then ask questions? Roxas had been right. He should’ve stayed away. “Oh God,” Axel muttered and brushed strayed parts of his hair out of the way.

“I’m not waiting forever.”

“I know. Just, there’s so fucking much that’s messed up. My face to start with,” Axel said and managed to somewhat answer Cloud’s stare. “How many people saw you hit me?”

“Few,” Cloud said without really seeming worried about the fact. “I’d tell everything important before someone thinks of security.”

“You’re a fucking idiot,” Axel sighed not sure who he’d meant with that and did his best to get a grip of himself, straightening his posture to keep some sense of control over the situation. “Honestly, we have been going out for few months ow,” Axel said and looked closely for any reaction in the unchanging expression. “We– we had a rough start and I know you witnessed it. But it got better.”

“Why haven’t I heard of anything from Roxas?”

“It wasn’t just my idea not to say anything. Roxas said you wouldn’t take it too good. He didn’t want to make it a big thing since everybody had much to think about already. We agreed on that. Even if you don’t want to believe it, I asked Roxas out but it was he who said yes. Oh shit,” Axel couldn’t help but to hiss. The fist to the face had gotten him a nice little headache to top the bruise. “What do you really want to know?”

“He’s seventeen.”

“And I’m 23. You’re not the only one who’s had a problem with the fact. If it helps any, yeah, I knew better than to ask him out.”

“Why did you then?” Cloud asked the question like it was the simplest thing to come up with an answer. Axel leaned to the wall and looked up at the eaves few stories above. This was the question he should’ve answered but had dismissed for being too damn difficult. Roxas liked him. He hadn’t needed to think about the reason for months.

“I don’t know,” he ended up saying. Not wanting to face Cloud’s reaction or lack thereof he closed his eyes for a short moment.

“Who knows about... you?” Cloud asked with some hesitation surprising Axel both by the tone and the question.

“Sora. A few of his friends,” Axel told. He opened his eyes again to see how Cloud had crossed his arms. “How convenient to me that both Sora and Roxas who could easily verify my story are unconscious now. It’s almost funny, isn’t it?” Axel and let a wry laugh.

“Glad you still feel like laughing,” Cloud said surprising Axel with the friendliness – no, lack of hostility -of the words. Axel had nothing to counter with and allowed Cloud to keep a small pause before continuing. “Axel-“ Cloud began and there was a tiny little voice that kept nagging in Axel’s head that this had to be a good sign. “I don’t even know what to ask,” Cloud confessed bewildering Axel even more.

“So are we getting now to the point where you beat me to pulp?”

Cloud looked at him and smiled. It wasn’t a very friendly smile, but a smile nonetheless. And Axel didn’t have clue where this was going. Was this the point where Cloud lost it and went berserk? Was this the moment Cloud hugged him and hoped he’d have a happy life?

“I know this isn’t- I’m not anyone you’d want Roxas to like,” Axel said and all of the words he had to force out. He wasn’t too good with talking about personal stuff like this and definitely not while Cloud stood there and had just moments ago made it very clear he definitely didn’t like Axel. “Or that you’d believe I’m serious about this and I’m not just fucked up. I’d like to think I’m not all that fucked up. Yeah, I know I’m older. I’m tattooed, messed up and definitely not a poster boy. I don’t know. There are so many things you could have an issue with.”

“So this is the list of reasons to like you?” Cloud asked and Axel jumped the slightest. “Tell me why I should allow you to keep seeing him, not why I shouldn’t.” Cloud didn’t sound so threatening. He sounded amused. And Axel grinned at the realization. He wasn’t on safe waters, but he was getting there.

“I’m not going to hurt him. I don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t do drugs,” Axel said feeling like he was writing an ad to some dating site. “I do care about him. If you need some crap about love, sure, I’ll say yes if that’s what you need. And if you want me gone, _Roxas_ only needs to say it.”

Cloud looked at him and Axel had never felt more embarrassed in his life. He didn’t dare to breathe before Cloud nodded shortly. “I guess you proved your point by staying at the hospital even if you shouldn’t,” Cloud said.

“If Roxas only would see it like that,” Axel shook his head. Roxas would get so angry. Axel had without his permission told Cloud and told in a way that wasn’t anywhere near the way they should’ve done it. But if he was getting Clouds approval now... He was getting way too positive about all this.

“He will. He’s a romantic,” Cloud said. “I’d try to explain it to him when he’s still high on the meds though. They might help a bit,” he added and Axel had inkling that he probably looked so dumbstruck with his bruised chin and face frozen in shocked surprise that Cloud couldn’t help the small smile.

“I’m not going to apologise hitting you,” Cloud said.

“I think I understand. Kind of made it happen,” Axel said and tried with a careful smile. The bruise hurt, but it was the last thing he’d admit now. Cloud looked around and even though there were some curious glances towards their direction, nobody looked like they wanted to interrupt.

Cloud nodded shortly. “Good. I’m not going to like you from now on though.”

“Don’t expect you to.”

“I don’t want you to speak to my parents now either. They have no idea who you are and what you’re doing here and I guess I don’t need to explain how much of a bad idea it was from you to even try. It’s something you have to deal with once Roxas and Sora are alright and willing to help you.”

“Not going to get the permission to see him then?” Axel asked and right now he wasn’t worried.

xxx

Roxas could remember faces and voices, but he couldn’t say if they’d been there hours ago or just recently. He knew he felt numb in places and had a throbbing headache. He knew there was a touch on his arm. He was quite sure Mom had been there a moment ago.

“Mom?” Roxas asked and his voice was stronger than he’d expected it to be. Closing his eyes tightly before even trying to face the bright lightning allowed him time to get over some of the confusion. He could remember now that this was the hospital and the surgery had gone alright. Sora was resting in the room behind the wall – Mom had told him this.

“Nah, sorry. Asking for the wrong person.”

Roxas opened his eyes and was suddenly wide awake. “Axel?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yup. Got the right one now,” Axel said and smiled widely. He had his hand on Roxas’ hand, fingers twined together.

“What are you doing here?” Roxas asked. Axel shouldn’t be here.

“Saying many unbelievably sappy things to you. Taking care of you. You know, nobody wants you to be alone when you wake up for a moment,” Axel said as if was clear as the day why. “It’s my lucky day.”

“How did you get past my family – where are they?” Roxas said and looked around a bit. He didn’t see anyone else in the room and turned to look back at Axel ready to hear some answers. It was when he looked up at Axel’s face that he noticed the big red-blue bruise that covered half of it. How he could’ve missed it before? He blamed the distracting fact that Axel was in the room he should by no logic be in. “What is that on your face?”

“I made a deal with Cloud,” Axel said like it would’ve answered all of the questions. “He’s standing at the door guarding. Once your parents get back from lunch, I’m gone,” he added.

“The bruise?”

“Just something I caused. No, don’t worry, the one who hit me had all the right, is fine and doesn’t want to kill me today anymore. I would appreciate it if you asked if I’m alright though.”

Roxas kept staring and managed to get Axel sigh. “Okay, yeah, Cloud hit me, but I don’t think that’s really all that important.”

“I don’t get it. What happened while I was out?”

“You got into a surgery, I got into a fight ‘cause they didn’t want me to see you and I kind of wanted, I outed us to Cloud, he hit me, we made up, he allowed me to come sit here when the parents are away. To put it short.”

Roxas wasn’t sure if he was feeling angry or if he appreciated the mess Axel had made of himself just because of him. He understood the words and definitely could feel a cramp in his stomach when Axel said he’d told Cloud. “Why?”

“Mostly because I wanted to hear Cloud say you’d see my stupidity as endearing. After he punched me, that is,” Axel said and kept smiling. It was a reassuring smile if Roxas knew Axel at all. ”I came to see you, hear you complain about the pain you’re in and then cheer you up. Not to tell what I did to get here.”

“Whatever,” Roxas chuckle and let his head fall back to the pillow. “So, um, what exactly did you say to Cloud?” he asked from the ceiling.

Axel sounded embarrassed which was highly unusual. Axel if anyone could keep going doing stupid things without moment’s hesitation. “I just told that Cloud was an idiot not to notice anything. And that we’d been going out for a while. Right under his nose.”

“Just for your information, you’re an idiot,” Roxas said and turned to look at what couldn’t be a blush. “I take it that Cloud took it really well?”

“It wasn’t as bad as you’d think. Not at all,” Axel said. “He didn’t like me before and doesn’t like me now. No turn to the worse I’d say.”

“Expect a bruise.”

“Bruises I can handle.”

“Time to go. Now,” Cloud peeked inside the room and made a disapproving face at Axel and then smiled as he saw Roxas being awake. “I’ll ask how you’re feeling once we get Axel out,” he added.

“I’ll see ya,” Axel said and got up, but Roxas, even though knowing it was a bad idea, got hold of his hand. Axel looked at him and shook his head. “This is not making a fairy-tale ending. Things really don’t work like that in real life.”

“I know.”

“I’ll go,” Axel said and shook himself free of Roxas’ hand. He glanced quickly at Cloud who nodded and flashed a short smile at Roxas before slipping out.

“Mom would be just fine with it,” Roxas said, but Cloud shook his head.

“You are going to explain me what is going on once we get you out of the hospital,” Cloud said as he walked around the bed to sit down in the chair that Axel had occupied just moments ago. “But not before it.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s trouble?”

“I’m not that gullible. I know if I’m serious about something.”

“You mean it?” Cloud asked, calmly and listening and clearly not pleased with what he’d just heard.

Roxas took a moment to answer. He’d been ready to try and stop Axel from going. “Yeah.”

“You wait till you are healed up. And what you do then, I don’t care.”

“You are not going to hit him again.”

“Probably not,” Cloud shrugged and Roxas smiled. Cloud smiled back. Roxas knew that was as close to an approval that he would ever get.

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic took the authors from High School to (almost) a Bachelor’s Degree.
> 
> During this fic 5,5 computers were lost. May they rest in peace. 
> 
> The following KH games were published after we started writing this fic: Days, Birth by Sleep, Dream Drop Distance, Re:Coded and KH 1,5. We DID finish it before KH3 although we started to get a bit worried.
> 
> Xion’s small role is mostly because she didn’t exist when we wrote the plot down. This fic is so old.
> 
> Nepece would like to say that she only wrote about one third of this fic and none of the awesome parts. 
> 
> Tupsu wants to add that were it not for Nepece’s brainstorming there would be neither plot nor characters, just a lot of words. She also blames Nepece for the fact that this fic is at all coherent.
> 
> Thank you for reading. Honestly, it has been so lovely to have people reading, getting kudos... It's been fun. Thank you! We love you all. THANK YOU.
> 
> And one more thing:
> 
> This isn’t the original ending. The original ending had a lot more… tragic tone, but because Tupsu had a bad idea and Nepece didn’t say no (she is a bad, bad enabler) the tragic ending had to be rewritten. In other words…
> 
> SEQUEL. Coming sometime in the not so near future.
> 
>  
> 
> THANK YOU (and sorry, we were so young when we started!).


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